WHAT ACTUALLY CAN’T GO IN THE DISHWASHER

GLM

If you are lucky enough to have a dishwasher, first of all, yay for you! The rest of you poor (probably apartment-dwelling) plebes can skip to the next section. Dishwashers are great. They’re a huge time-saver for cleanup, and also a great way to give yourself a spa-like facial without leaving your house (just open it up midcycle and aaahhhh!). Your mother probably yelled at you for putting wooden spoons in the dishwasher when you were a teenager, just trying to rush through the dishes so you could finish your homework / stare at and pretend to make out with the *NSync poster in your room, but here is the real deal about what cannot go in the dishwasher. Consider everything else fair game. Even fish. (Seriously. Google it.)

CAST IRON. Not only should it never enter your dishwasher, but cast iron shouldn’t even be washed with soap (weird, we know, but trust us). To clean cast iron, wash it by hand using a sponge or stiff brush under hot running water, just until all the debris has been removed. Then rub in a little olive or vegetable oil with a paper towel, just to thinly coat the surface, kind of like how you always apply sunscreen, instead of how you’re actually supposed to slather it on in a thick layer.

SHARP KNIVES. Butter knives are fine. Anything sharper than that will get dull in the dishwasher, so wash it by hand.

CRYSTAL. First of all, you own crystal? You may be too fancy for this book. But in any case, hand-wash it. But you probably already knew that, seeing as you own crystal.

WOODEN UTENSILS. Super-hot water and dish detergent can soften wood over time and wear off any sealants on it, causing it to break down quickly. Best to hand-wash and air-dry.

NONSTICK POTS AND PANS. The dishwasher process can remove the nonstick coating, which is the whole reason you bought those pots and pans in the first place. Plus, pots and pans take up half of a dishwashing rack, so you’re saving the earth by scrubbing them in the sink, rinsing, and either towel-or air-drying (we live in California, give us the water).

ANYTHING WITH A LABEL. We know it can seem like a good idea to put that old pickle jar in the dishwasher to remove the adhesive so you can turn it into a rustic hipster vase, but the adhesives will just wash away and clog up the dishwasher drain. Instead, try rubbing it with a little olive oil to break up the label glue residue, and then scrubbing it under hot water.

Did you read the intro? Promise? This wasn’t like an annoying intro to a book in high school. It was useful information! You did? Swear? Didn’t skip over? (It’s okay if you did.) Do you have pans and produce and a sexy spice rack? Now you are ready to start cooking. We’re kind of excited for you. It’s like when your best friend tells you she just lost her virginity and you get secondhand excitement, or you just get jealous because you’re a late bloomer. It’s like, Get pumped. You’re in for so much fun.