| |
Transfixed and terrified, Aia’s body disobeyed the pounding of her heart. What she wanted was to run. To cover her eyes and scream until the impossible mythical monster vanished. Yet, while its massive beak preened and stabbed at feathers blacker and denser than anything in Nature, she remained frozen.
If she could inflict harm on herself, if she could scream until her vocal cords frayed and split apart, then she might be able to believe the apparition was only a nightmare.
But she could hear the rustle of its feathers. She could hear its talons scrape the frozen ground. It peered at her, alternately with each eye, and she heard the squawk gurgling low in its thick neck.
The yatagarasu, with the eerie gait of its three legs, moved towards her. With each odd step, its caws grew louder. The sound blasted her ear drums. Smashing her fists against her ears, Aia tried to force her body to move back. Yet at her retreat, the horrible bird snapped its wings outwards. The wind from their beat nearly blew her backwards but it was enough to snap her senses into action.
Again, the creature cawed. Dust and gravel tumbled under the force of its wings. It was coming.
Straight at her.
Go! Get from here! Go back to what depth you came from. Get away from me!
Cursing, Aia grabbed the edge of the window and slammed it shut with all her might, dropping to her knees. Dense matter struck the house. The impact shifted ceiling beams and dust sifted over the room. Without glancing at her sister, to see if she bore witness to this, without daring to look back at the window, convinced she would find feathers and blood blacker than death, Aia crawled towards the door. Yanking it back with both hands, she got to her feet and bolted.
Strong arms caught her, and she slammed into hard muscle.
“Let me go!”
“Aia!”
She pounded on his chest. “I have to get away from it!”
“Hush!” He slid the door shut behind them both. “Away from what?”
“Let me go!”
She strained against him, but he forced her arms behind her back.
“I won’t. You’re safe here. Tell me what happened.”
In her mind, sight of the monstrous beak rose, and she shook her head until it ached. The pain flooded behind her eyes and wrung tears, hot and fast, down her cheeks, soaking the collar of her robe.
“What’s going on, Nen? Tell me! Hatogi said something weeps in this house. The wind...the wind in the trees growled and meant to hunt me down. And now...”
His grip tightened.
“Now what?”
“I’m awake, aren’t I? Maybe you should hit me and make sure. I’d like you to hit me. Beat me. I’d like pain to wash out the sight of it.”
“Of what?” He demanded.
“A yatagarasu!” she whispered. “It stood outside the window with horrible black talons and a beak that could bite a tree in half.”
“You saw a yatagarasu?”
“It flew towards me! Its claws dragged on the ground. I was paralyzed! I shut the window and it must have struck—”
“You said you saw nothing in the trees!”
He shook her.
“I didn’t! What’s that have to do with this?” Throwing her body side to side, slamming her head onto his midsection, she strained uselessly. “What is going on?”
“Come with me.”
She felt him release his hold only to pick her up and sling her over his shoulder. Through absolute shadow, he strode, turning three times, each to the left, until a door creaked open and Aia felt the air around her change. Dampness lingered the farther they went No scent of mold or decay but fresh, cold, moisture.
When he set her down, at length, he bade her be still and silent.
To the darkness, he whispered, “Be at peace. We want nothing and we will not stay long.” Then, to Aia, he said, “Tell me what you see.”
Wary of making any sudden motion, though all around her was silent and still, she turned her head from side to side. Half afraid of what might take shape out of the darkness, she pressed her back into Nen. Should a fearsome shape manifest, it would not bewitch her sight; he stood behind her. Yet, for a long while, all Aia heard was the sound of her own breath and all she saw was cavernous dark.
“What do you see?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” He sounded incredulous. “Look harder.”
“I see nothing! Why? What’s here? What was in the trees? Did the yatagarasu fly from this damp roost?”
He spun her around. Not gentle hands cupped her face.
“Swear to me you see—”
“Nothing!”
She jerked her face away and heard him sink to the ground with a heavy sigh. It was a long time before he spoke.
***
CALM, PALPABLE AS DEW on grass in the first hours of dawn, surrounded them. In the stillness, Aia listened to Nen’s breathing and it pulled her nearer and nearer. She felt weak, like tea from a poor family and, drawn in by the rhythm of his respiration, soon she was pulled into his side. There, against his massive body, she could dissolve and let him take control of a situation beyond her comprehension weighing heavily around them.
“What attacked in the woods was a kamaitachi.”
“A wind spirit? But...”
“Listen to me. What lives here in the cellar, what should live in the trees but fear the march of this revolution are kodama25. And the yatagarasu’s attack on you only sets what I feared.”
Nen drew her arms around his waist. She felt the weight and length of her hair raked to one side and then his fingers comb slowly through.
“A curtain veils the world of man, Aia. Beyond it is the mythical realm. Long ago, Princess Kaguya left the moon and was found as an infant when a bamboo cutter sliced into a stalk glowing brighter than day.”
“That’s a folktale!”
“It’s reality, Aia. But a reality closed off to the world of man. A pact was made. In return for the care Kaguya received from mortals before she returned to the moon, the yokai26 swore abstinence from Man. And unbeknownst to mankind, it has been thus for centuries, a world beyond seeing, leaving man to work out their lives in peace. Mostly. Yokai are unpredictable. Occasionally, some cross over to frighten men. Or bless them. Tengu27 are troublemakers. Bakeneko28, too.” He laughed, softly. “I’ve chased the long tail of a bakeneko many times.”
“Then you can see them?”
“Yes.”
“All of them? All the time?”
“Yes.”
“Even now? The kodama you say hide in this cellar?”
“There are thousands here. More than a score blanket you now. Five keep trying to plait your hair. They are helpful by nature. The trees miss them.”
“What do they...look like?” she asked, afraid to move and disturb what she could not see.
“Misshapen infants. As if the hand to create them did so in the dark, with only a vague memory of what a human child looks like.”
Thousands of such beings surrounded them now. Did they move on two legs or crawl like the children they were meant to be? Were their faces unfortunate but kind or odd and unsettling? Did they speak? And if so, were their voices recognizable to human ears? Or did they sing in the sounds of Nature?
To think she might have heard their songs in the wind, or the distant patter of rain, dazzled and confused Aia’s mind.
“How,” she began, “how, then, do you see them? Do they speak to you? All these...yokai?”
“I’m soldier of the Celestial Court.”
Though she could not see him, she looked up to the resonance of his voice and felt that he gazed down at her.
“At the time of the pact, it was agreed some men would know, and hold, in good faith, the responsibility of a world visible to them and none other. Those first knights were touched by yokai long expired now. The gift of seeing has been passed down. It is confirmed upon each man to enter the court. For ten years, I have served.”
“So, you were not surprised the yatagarasu attacked?”
Nen sighed and dug his hand deeper into her hair, letting the length slide through his fingers.
“No. I was. Yokai rarely make more than mischief. For one to attack—it is out of character. At the okiya, the kamaitachi was old. Sometimes, in their final days, they grow dangerous. At the time, I told myself that was the reason for its violence. I wanted to believe that. Yet now, for you to have seen the crow and for it to have attacked, I can no longer stand in denial. Something is wrong. Gravely wrong.”
“What will you do?”
“I must tell my superior at the court.”
“You’re...leaving, then?”
“I will see to Yui’s safety first, but yes. The mythical realm and the world of man cannot collide, Aia. Reality would unravel and cataclysm spiral outwards.”
Turning towards him, she placed her hands on his chest and sought the stern face. Under the slow seek of her hands, Aia felt Nen’s breathing change, his chest expanding gloriously beneath her palms.
He lay back.
Urge and electric excitement thrummed throughout her body, coiling, and pulsing low in her belly. She dropped her forehead to his chest and sought bare skin.
He was a mountain, carved from stone. Rugged and immovable. Beside him, she might cling and bloom like hydrangea, more vibrant and fragrant than a silk wrapped flower.
“I will miss you.”
“Will you?” he asked.
“Yes.”
His heart’s beat raced, and the pulsing seemed to match what rocked between her legs.
“Why?”
“Because. All my life, I wanted to be a flower, potted and kept in tradition. But now...”
Nen caught the back of her neck.
“Now I think I might want to be kept in a different way.”
“What way is that, Aia?”
“Beside you.”
His inhale was sharp. She felt herself clutched and suddenly flipped to her back, his arm supporting her from touching the packed dirt floor. It was then lambent green light pooled from the ceiling. It trickled in rivulets down the walls, effervescent and delicate, until the entire cellar glimmered in illumination. A green more vibrant than any summer but soft as moonlight.
In Nen’s eyes, it shone like ten thousand fireflies drifting upwards from a chasm and across his skin like luminescent lace.
“Ah!” His laughter was soft. “They like you. This light belongs to the woods, to bring life. But it’s life here they feel and give to.” He bent near, his mouth hovering above hers. “Between you and I, Aia.”
Her vision swam. A kaleidoscope of green swirling into blues and whites, spiraled against rich velvet. His breath flushed her cheeks and robbed her of thought. Held by him, she was deliciously lost in a spectrum of color and pressure. Through her body it funneled and muted motion. All she could manage was to tilt her chin upwards and press her mouth to his.
Yet, except for the way his grip closed in around her, Aia might have kissed a statue. Warm lips froze to the pressure of her own. At her back, she felt his bicep tighten and flex. From his grip, she thought he might tear her kimono off. Yet, his mouth did not seek hers, even though he did not pull away. It was as if she kissed a stone carved figure.
As if she kissed a mountain.
All the heat stirring in her body vanished.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, turning away.
“No. No, you don’t understand. I can’t have you right now.”
Around them, Aia saw the green glow fade. Hurt pounded at the back of her throat.
“Why?”
“Because if I lose myself to you now, Aia, more than I already have, I cannot ask of you what I need.”
Glimmer pulsed faintly and drifted away. Like a vanishing dream, they returned to the chill, dank cellar’s reality. With care, Nen brought Aia to her feet and then stepped back. Though she doubted the darkness hindered his sight like it did her own, she hoped he did not watch her. He claimed he could not have her, but she felt exposed, as if in giving her mouth, she had given all.
Folding her arms over her chest, she asked. “What can you need from me?”
“Go with me. To the Celestial Court. I need you to bear witness.”
“To what?”
“To what you have seen. The testimony of a mortal woman will carry more weight than my words.”
“A moment ago, I would have said yes to anything you asked.”
“I want your yes from free will. Not because I held you in my arms.”
“And if I say no?”
“Then I will see to yours and Yui’s safety and carry out my duties. Should the weavings of the world last longer than my journey back, I will seek you.”
“I might hide from you.”
“No, Aia.” She felt her hand taken and laid on his chest, where, still, his heart thundered. “I will come for you.”