Nellie was lingering in the corridor when Maddie left her father’s office. She followed Maddie toward the stairs and hissed, “What happened?”
“It’s a disaster. I need to find Lockwood.”
“He went up the steps and asked the butler to send up his valet. Then he said he’d need a carriage to take him to the train station.”
Maddie paused on the bottom stair. Oh, God. Lockwood was leaving.
Of course he is leaving. You humiliated him.
“Come with me.” Nellie grabbed Maddie’s arm and dragged her toward the empty drawing room. Maddie followed blindly, her mind still tripping over all that had happened.
When they were alone, Nellie folded her arms across her chest. “Spill.”
“Mrs. Lusk told my father everything and Lockwood has begged off. Harrison and I are being married this afternoon.”
Nellie’s eyes rounded. “Goodness gracious. When you decide to go bad, you really take the three-tiered cake, don’t you?”
That hardly made Maddie feel better. “Nellie!”
“I’m teasing. Listen, you kissed a man and got caught. It’s not the end of the world.”
“It feels as if it is. Lockwood despises me, and my mother is no doubt reaching for the smelling salts.”
“Perhaps, but so what?” Nellie gave her a smile full of affection and understanding. “I am aware of your desire for everyone to like you best, but no one is perfect, Maddie. Not even you.”
“I don’t need for everyone to like me best”—she ignored Nellie’s disbelieving expression—“but I do not like hurting people. Or embarrassing them.”
“I understand, but have you considered that maybe you were meant to be with Harrison all along?”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Someday, you will—and you will thank Aunt Nellie for all the great advice she gave you these past few days.”
Maddie threw her arms around the other woman. “After this party, you might be my only friend left.”
“Stop.” Nellie patted Maddie’s back. “Society has a short memory. Time heals all scandals, as they say.”
No one said that, but Maddie didn’t quibble. She let Nellie go. “I need to find Lockwood and apologize. I feel absolutely awful.”
“Don’t feel too awful. The duke would have made you a terrible husband.”
Her friend said it with such certainty that Maddie cocked her head. “Why?”
A look passed over Nellie’s face before she could mask it. “Because he isn’t Harrison. Now go.”
Maddie had the sense the other woman was not telling the whole truth but there was no time to dig into that pile. Best to leave it for later. “Thank you for attempting to make me feel better.”
“You are welcome,” Nellie called as Maddie dashed out of the room.
At the top of the staircase, she spotted Lockwood striding along the corridor, headed right toward her. He walked briskly, as if desperate to leave. Swallowing, she drew in a deep breath and prepared to grovel. “May I speak with you?”
“Of course,” he replied easily. “Shall we continue this outside? The carriage is waiting.”
He held out his arm, ever the gentleman. The consideration was more than she deserved. Placing her hand atop his forearm, she let him lead her down the main stairs, through the vestibule, and out the door. In the drive, footmen were securing the duke’s things to the top of a carriage.
Folding his hands behind his back, Lockwood stared off into the distance. The angles of his handsome face were harsher, less welcoming than they’d been yesterday. Her stomach roiled with self-loathing and regret as she considered what to say. “Please accept my heartfelt apology. I never meant for this to happen.”
He cleared his throat. “I assumed as much. If I had thought your attentions were engaged elsewhere, I never would have pursued you.”
“They weren’t. There is no explanation for what happened.”
“I’d say Harrison Archer happened,” he said, wryly.
“Nevertheless, I have no excuse for my dishonorable behavior. I feel terrible for treating you this way.”
His jaw tightened, lips thinning into the hint of a grimace. “If you are hoping for absolution, I’m incapable of providing it at the moment. Honestly, it is quite humiliating to be thrown over like this. I hadn’t expected it, especially considering how well we got on together.”
A duke was a position of great power and responsibility, and she could imagine losing was a bitter pill for him to swallow. A tear slipped from out of the corner of her eye and rolled down her cheek. Then the other eye followed suit. “I understand, and I regret causing you any embarrassment. Someday, I hope you will be able to forgive me.”
He gave a short nod but didn’t reply. A man, she assumed the duke’s valet, approached. “Your Grace, the bags are packed and secured. We may depart whenever you are ready.”
Lockwood nodded once. “A moment, Wilkins.” The valet climbed into the carriage to wait.
Maddie clenched her hands together tightly, more tears leaking, unsure what more she could say. “Do you plan to return to England?”
“No, I’ll return to New York first.” His gaze darted over her head and his expression hardened. He grunted, the noise sounding full of derision. “I suppose he’s come to gloat.”
She didn’t need to turn around to know who stood there. “Perhaps he wishes to apologize.”
A grim smile twisted the duke’s lips. “He isn’t sorry, not one bit.” He pulled on his cuffs. “I wish you luck, Miss Webster.”
Lockwood disappeared into the carriage and a groom set the step, then the carriage rolled down the drive. Maddie watched, her mind spinning as the emotion of the day settled on her shoulders, weighing her down. She’d caused so much damage, all from a single moment of passion.
How could she ever forgive herself?
By the time Harrison discerned Maddie’s whereabouts, she was already engaged in conversation outside with the duke. Lockwood stood stiffly beside a carriage, while Maddie talked quite animatedly at his side. Crossing his arms, Harrison leaned against the doorjamb and openly watched. A better man would probably give the former couple privacy . . . but Harrison was not that man.
Instead, he didn’t move, just waited patiently for the conversation to end. Anticipation throbbed in his veins, a constant drumbeat of victory, reverberating with the knowledge that he and Maddie would be married by day’s end.
Married.
Fuck, he could not wait.
Lockwood’s gaze flicked toward Harrison, and the duke frowned when their eyes met. Harrison allowed a smug half smile to twist his lips. You lost, Your Grace. Do run along.
Lockwood murmured something to Maddie, then inclined his head before disappearing into the carriage. She stepped back and appeared to swipe at her cheeks.
Dash it, he hadn’t thought she’d cry. Shout and carry on, yes. But he hadn’t prepared himself for tears.
He hated when she cried. The last time he could recall was when she stepped on a jellyfish one summer. He’d carried her, nearly running, up the beach to the chateau where they could rinse her foot in vinegar.
He stroked his jaw as the carriage rolled down the drive, taking the duke to wherever dukes went when they lost their fiancée to another man. Harrison felt a touch guilty, but Lockwood would be fine. There were hundreds of wealthy women in America who would undoubtedly leap at the chance to become a duchess.
When the carriage disappeared, Maddie turned and her eyes locked defiantly with his, her chin thrust high. She had indeed been crying, and the sight tore at the inside of Harrison’s chest, stinging as if he’d been flayed open with a sharp instrument.
They stood there, not speaking, while the staff drifted away to other duties. She was normally easy to read, her feelings right on her face, but he had no idea what she was thinking at the moment. Was she distraught? Angry? Resentful?
“You’ve been crying,” he said, commenting on the obvious as he drifted closer.
“Yes, Harrison.” Sparks glittered in her green gaze, which was a relief. Anger he could handle. “That is what generally happens when I hurt those I care about.”
Like the duke. “Lockwood’s a sore loser, I suppose.”
“This is not a game.”
Lifting a hand, he brushed the backs of his knuckles along her jaw. “Wrong. This was most definitely a game and you were the greatest prize.”
She stepped back, her lips pressed flat. “You should have spoken up in my father’s office. You should have said you did not compromise me. Then we wouldn’t be forced to marry.”
“Why on earth would I have done such a thing?”
“To spare me, not to mention my parents, the humiliation. And Lockwood, for that matter. The list is endless, Harrison.”
“While I wouldn’t have chosen a scandal as the backdrop for our marriage, I cannot regret it, either. I told you I wanted you.”
Maddie closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with two fingers. “That was a momentary fit of passion. We became overzealous in the gazebo. It was the rain and the darkness, a temporary insanity. Neither of us knew what we wanted.”
“Wrong. I told you earlier yesterday that I wanted everything from you. I meant marriage and children, laughter and tears, a lifetime of having you by my side.”
“And when did you arrive at this momentous decision? When you were in Paris, entertaining can-can dancers and sipping absinthe?”
“Long before, actually.” The truth slipped out, but he didn’t hide from the astonishment in her expression. He owed her honesty, at least about this.
“What do you mean, long before?”
He held up his hands. “I promise to explain everything tonight. Right now, I must stroll over to the Archer cottage and get the place prepared.”
“For what?”
His couldn’t help but grin. “Our wedding night.”
“No.” Her back straightened. “This is no traditional marriage with an ordinary wedding night. I am far too angry with you to even contemplate it.”
He lowered his voice seductively. “I promise you, there will be nothing ordinary about our wedding night.”
“Now you make jokes?” She threw her hands up and let them fall. “This has upended my life, Harrison. This is hardly a time for levity.”
He sobered. “I apologize. It was insensitive of me. But look at it this way: I saved you from a dull marriage to a dull man who would have undoubtedly given you dull children.”
“Oh, so I should be grateful to you. Is that it?”
He clamped his lips shut. They were going round and round, getting nowhere. She was still too angry and he was too dashed happy. This conversation was better had tonight, once they were married and alone. He could explain everything then, and she would have no choice but to listen.
But for now, he had to give her a choice. Maddie preferred logic and reason to make a decision. He couldn’t forget that all this had taken her by surprise.
Reaching out, he took her hand, relieved not to see the ducal betrothal ring any longer. Softening his tone, he said, “I know this is happening quickly, and you haven’t had much control over the last few hours, but please believe me when I say I want nothing more in this world than to marry you. Every minute of my life, every breath I take will be spent making you happy. Please, marry me, Mads.”
Tears pooled against her lids. “I have no choice. The scandal will be all over New York by dinnertime.”
“There is always a choice. You could move to Rome or Barcelona, live abroad for a year or two. The scandal will eventually blow over.”
“Not for my parents. And what of my plans to be the best lawn tennis player in America? I cannot leave.”
“Some girls travel West. Change their name. No one ever need know what happened here.”
Her brows drew together. “And never see my family or friends again? I don’t want to start a new life like some sort of confidence man on the run from the law.”
“Then I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”
“You’re stuck with me, as well.” She pulled free of his grip. “And I am still angry with you for pushing me when I asked for more time.”
“That’s fine.” She’d forgive him . . . eventually. Hopefully once she understood his feelings for her. “I suppose I’ll see you later at the ceremony, then.”
“I am serious about the wedding night, Harrison. Do not even think about it.”
Impossible. He could do almost nothing but think about it.
He thrust his hands in his pockets and started walking toward the street. “I suppose we’ll see, my soon-to-be wife.”
The ceremony took hardly any time at all.
In a furious daze, Maddie recited the words that would bind her to Harrison for the rest of her life. He did the same, his voice clear and strong in the near-empty salon, the hint of a smile on his face.
This was most definitely a game and you were the greatest prize.
She ground her back teeth together. He hadn’t bothered to woo her or confide in her. This had been a challenge to him, to steal her away from Lockwood, and in one weak moment, she’d succumbed. Not that she could entirely blame Harrison, either. There had been two of them in the gazebo, and she’d willingly allowed him to lead her down the path to ruin. Had asked for it, even.
Now everything had changed.
He placed a ghost of a kiss on her lips when it was all over. Then the small group still remaining at the house—her parents, Nellie, Kit, Maddie and Harrison—toasted with champagne and sat through a short celebratory dinner Maddie would never remember. When it was time for them to depart, Maddie disappeared upstairs, desperate for a moment alone.
“Slow down,” Nellie called from the stairs. “My legs aren’t as long as yours.”
She hadn’t realized her friend was following, so she paused on the landing until Nellie caught up. “Was that as awful as I imagined?”
“Not for me,” Nellie said. “Kind of nice seeing someone else embroiled in a scandal for a change.”
“I have new sympathy for you.”
“Oh, don’t feel sorry for me. The whispers and snubs hardly bother me anymore.”
“I suppose I better get used to it. Hardly anyone said goodbye to me before they left today.” The chaperones had packed up the young ladies in a blink after the news broke, worried that an association with such a scandal might harm future marriage prospects.
“It’ll all blow over, I promise,” Nellie said, her voice filled with confidence.
Maddie wasn’t so certain.
When they arrived at her room, Maddie closed the door and leaned against it, sighing. “Is it too late to swim for Cuba?”
Nellie chuckled. “Yes, so cheer up. It won’t be that bad.”
“Which part? Tonight, or my marriage?”
“Both.” Nellie took in Maddie’s disbelieving expression. “I cannot help with the marriage part, but I can answer questions you have about the wedding night. Has your mother told you what to expect?”
“No, of course not. She won’t even discuss my monthly. But it doesn’t matter because I am not speaking to Harrison. I’m furious with him.”
“Maddie.” Nellie sounded disappointed. “You were in the gazebo, too. Unless he forced you, then you share the blame.”
“I know, and I am angry with myself, as well. But he pushed and pushed, then didn’t even try to protect my reputation. He said nothing and let me bear the brunt of our mistake.”
“That is because Harrison isn’t sorry.”
“Precisely what Lockwood said. Goodness, what a blasted mess.”
Nellie’s brows shot up as she sat on the edge of the bed. “Did you honestly wish to move to England and live in some drafty old manor house? So far away from your family and friends? And what about lawn tennis? Really, Maddie.”
“It wouldn’t have been so bad.”
“Please. In England, you would have withered and died like wisteria in winter. If you ask me, you are lucky. You’ve married a man who is head over heels in love with you.”
“After only a few days? Impossible. He told me himself this was a game and I was the prize.”
“Because he wanted you. And believe me, it’s always better if a man wants you more than you want him.”
“So I don’t get my heart broken?”
“No.” Nellie patted the empty mattress beside her. “Sit down and let Aunt Nellie tell you all about men.”
“Goodness, you are smug when you know something I don’t.”
“Because all you care about is tennis.”
“That is not true. I intended to spend my engagement gathering knowledge about what happens in the bedroom. Then I would have been prepared.”
Nellie shook her head. “This is not a campaign to be waged or an exam for which to study. I’ll tell you everything you want to know about the basics. The rest is simple biology and physical attraction.”
Maddie lowered herself to the bed. “The point is moot. We will not consummate the marriage tonight.”
Nellie looked horrified. “Why not?”
“I don’t feel ready. I hardly know this new version of Harrison. Moreover, I don’t like the way we married.”
“Maddie,” her friend said on a sigh. “Men are good for very few things in this life. Sexual congress is one of them. Don’t pass up one of the things you’ll actually enjoy in a marriage.”
“Will it hurt?”
“It shouldn’t but it might pinch if he doesn’t prepare you.”
“Prepare me?”
“Widen you. Stretch you. With his fingers.” Nellie wiggled her index and middle fingers. “Maybe you’ll get really lucky and he’ll lick between your legs.”
Maddie buried her face in her hands. “Oh, my God.”
“Is that embarrassment or revulsion?”
There was no denying Maddie was attracted to Harrison, that her body crawled with tension whenever she was in his presence. And that kiss . . . it had nearly scorched her. “Embarrassment.”
“That’s what I thought.” Nellie bumped her shoulder against Maddie’s. “You never would have kissed him if you weren’t attracted to him. I think Harrison is going to treat you well. All those skills he picked up in Paris? They must be of good use to some woman—and she might as well be you.”
“I’m still mad at him.”
“Understandable, but take your frustrations out on his body tonight. Trust me, you will feel better.”
“I don’t even know what that means.”
“It was a joke.” Nellie reached to grab Maddie’s hand. “As someone who has experience in this area, believe me, you have nothing to worry about.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely positive. Enjoy yourself. You cannot do anything wrong. Just ask questions if you’re unsure what to do. Pretend it’s a tennis match and you have to learn everything you can about your opponent.”
Hmm, that explanation actually made sense to her. Discovering strengths and weaknesses, using them to her advantage. If Harrison thought this was a game, then she would prove a worthy opponent.
Still, she was furious with him—and herself. It had all happened so quickly, and their rashness had hurt others. Burned into her mind was the embarrassment on Lockwood’s face, the disappointment radiating from her father. Then there were her mother’s tears, accompanied by a list of everything Maddie had lost out on because of this scandal.
Harrison had upended her life, twisted her carefully laid plans, in a matter of days. How could she play the dutiful, loving wife tonight when all she wanted was to be alone? “Do I have to sleep with him?”
“No, but you should. It’s fun. Rather, it should be fun. Why do you think there are so many babies in the world?”
Maddie groaned. “Why did you have to mention babies?”
“Just have him pull out before he finishes. If he doesn’t spend inside you, then you won’t find yourself with child.”
All of this talk of babies and fingers was giving Maddie a headache. She turned the topic onto Nellie instead. “You know a lot about this business. Why have we never had this talk before?”
“I didn’t wish to corrupt you. Now, shall we get you changed?”