Maddie’s heart continued to race long after she changed out of her tennis clothes and into an afternoon dress. Playing in a tournament was exhilarating—and winning was even better.
After her maid, Siobhan, helped her dress, she chatted a few minutes with Vallie. Then a reporter asked for a few moments of her time to comment on the match, so Vallie left to watch the other players. When the interview ended, Maddie and Siobhan went outside.
A crowd of people loitered in the shade directly in the front of the clubhouse. She twisted and turned, sliding between bodies to get through, accepting congratulations on her win as she went. She didn’t stop to chat, however. Harrison, Preston and her parents were here somewhere, and hopefully they hadn’t gone far.
She’d loved having Harrison at the match. He’d cheered the loudest, his whistles deafening. She had played hard, wanting to make him proud. A fluttering began in her chest, the burning need to tell him of her feelings.
Soon. They’d be alone in the hotel soon and she would tell him.
As she pushed through a large cluster of spectators, strong fingers pinched the skin of her hip, almost on her bottom. She gasped, surprised. That was no accident. Rather, it had been an intentional grope.
Her head whipped around, searching for the man responsible. He stood there, a few feet away, giving her a slick smile. A black wool suit hung loose on his frame, his collar soaked with sweat. A sense of wrongness came over her like an icy wind. She shivered with the need to get away, to put distance between herself and this stranger.
Unfortunately, with people all around her, she couldn’t quickly step back as the man drew closer. She lifted her chin and pulled one of her hat pins from her hair. “Do not come any closer.”
As if he didn’t hear her, the man leaned in, using his size to intimidate her. “There’s no need for that.” He pointed to the hat pin in her hand and chuckled. “All I want is to see you smile, pretty lady.”
Alarm bells were ringing in her head. She tried to slip through the people standing behind her, but met only with resistance. “I don’t feel like smiling right now—and you need to move back.”
He reached out to touch her again, this stranger who thought he could take liberties with her person. She didn’t wait for rescue. Instead, she shoved the hat pin into his stomach. Hard.
Yelping, he doubled over, his hands covering where she’d stabbed him. People in the vicinity stopped talking, their gazes curious as they formed a wide circle around her and the other man. Siobhan arrived alongside, her eyes wide with concern. “Are you all right, madam?”
“I’m fine,” Maddie said, watching the man who’d pinched her. She didn’t trust him not to run off and escape, where he’d likely grope another young woman in the crowd.
Suddenly, there were shouts and the crowd instantly parted. Two men she’d never seen before each took one of her elbows and practically lifted her off the ground, towing her back the way she came. “Stop! Let me go!” She struggled in their grip, but it did no good. “Help! I am being kidnapped.”
“Please, Mrs. Archer,” one of them said. “You’re safe now.”
Safe? She was being dragged against her will by two large men she’d never met. “Help me!” She kept trying to twist away, to escape their strong hands, but it was no use. They didn’t release her until they were in one of the small rooms inside the clubhouse.
“Who are you?” She rubbed her trembling arms and backed away from these strangers. “How did you know my name?”
The door flew open and Harrison rushed into the room. His hair was rumpled, his eyes wild with panic before they landed on her. He reached her in three steps and pulled her against his chest. “Christ. Are you hurt, Mads?” His voice shook as he held her close, his fingers digging into her flesh through her clothing. As if he never intended to let her go. She rested her cheek against his shirt and necktie, the familiar scent of him soaking into her muscles, easing the fear and anxiety from moments earlier.
“I’ve got you, honey,” he murmured into her hair. “I’ve always got you.”
Her parents entered the room, as well, their faces laced with concern. “What happened?” her father asked. “We heard a shout and a man was on the ground.”
“I’m fine,” she told everyone. “A man in the crowd pinched me. I used my hat pin to defend myself.”
“A man pinched you?” Harrison let her go and rounded on the two strangers, his expression carved in fury. “You were supposed to keep her safe!”
Keep her safe?
“We apologize, Mr. Archer,” one of the men was saying. “She disappeared into the crowd for a minute. We only lost sight of her for a few seconds.”
“A few seconds is all it takes,” Harrison snarled. “She could have been harmed.”
“Wait.” She put a hand on Harrison’s arm. “Who are these men? Do you know them?”
“We beg your pardon, Mrs. Archer,” the other man said, wringing his cap in his fists. “We won’t let it happen tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” She looked at Harrison. “What are they talking about?”
Preston came in, dragging the man who’d pinched her in his wake. “I brought the man responsible inside while we await the police.”
“Good,” Harrison snapped. “We will be pressing charges.”
“We don’t need the police,” the man said, twisting in Preston’s hold. “It was an accident.”
“Goddamn mashers,” Preston muttered. “We’ll have him arrested, Maddie. Don’t worry.”
Harrison closed in on the man, his hands curling into fists. “How much did Thomas pay you?”
“I don’t know any Thomas. She’s lying,” the man said, pointing at her. “Whatever she told you, she’s lying.”
Thomas? Why was Harrison asking this man about his brother?
None of this made sense.
Harrison lifted the man up by his necktie and shook him. “You’re a liar. I know he put you up to this.”
The man’s face turned purple and he made choking sounds. Was her husband going to strangle this man, right here? “Harrison! Stop and tell me what is going on. Right now.”
He dropped the other man and dragged a hand through his hair. “Everyone, may I have a moment alone with my wife?”
Maddie cocked her head and studied her husband. He was acting strangely, avoiding her eyes, his movements jittery. Her stomach twisted, a portentous feeling settling inside her like a stone.
“I’ll keep him in another room with the police until you’re ready,” Preston said before departing with the masher. Everyone else quickly filed out and the door was closed.
She didn’t waste any time. “What is going on?”
“Let’s return to the hotel and discuss it there.”
“I’d rather discuss it here. Who were those men who dragged me back to the clubhouse?”
He folded his arms across his chest. “Guards I hired to keep you safe.”
“What?” She gaped at him. “You hired guards for me? Without telling me? Why?”
“My brother and mother threatened you last week, during the takeover. They knew you were the only leverage they had over me.”
She dropped heavily into a chair. “They threatened me . . . and you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to worry before the tournament.” Striding to where she sat, he lowered onto his haunches and stared into her eyes. “I know how much winning this means to you. I didn’t want them to distract or upset you. I wanted to protect you.”
Her head was spinning from all this information and she needed space. Standing, she walked around him to the other side of the room. “Let me see if I have this straight. Your family threatened me and so you went out and hired guards. Without informing me. To protect me.”
“Yes.”
“Did you honestly think Thomas would hire someone to accost me in a crowd?”
“I put nothing past him, not after he sent you those flowers.”
“The flowers were from Thomas?”
“Yes.”
Her skin burned with outrage and hopelessness. God, this was too much. Harrison hadn’t shared any of this information with her—after he’d promised never to keep secrets again. “Considering what happened right after our marriage, I would have expected you to discuss these things with me.”
“Maddie, I didn’t want to upset you. The Archers have caused enough damage. I needed to keep you safe.”
“So what I want doesn’t matter. Is that what you are saying?” She let out a bitter, brittle laugh. “You are not listening to me. You never have, even after I begged you not to keep anything from me again.”
“We are talking about your safety. If I feel you are in danger and need protection, I won’t hesitate to do it, whether you agree or not.”
Her throat tightened with anger and resentment but she forced the words out. “Oh, I see. You’ll hide it from me. Again. Is this how our marriage is destined to be for the rest of our lives?”
“It’s hardly the same as what happened before. I know you are furious, but looking after your welfare is my responsibility as your husband.”
“Not while disregarding my opinion. This is a marriage, not a dictatorship. If you wanted a society wife who allowed her husband to run roughshod over her, you married the wrong woman, Harrison.”
He dragged a hand through his hair and tugged on the long strands as if trying to rip them out of his head. “I don’t want a society wife. I want you . . . and only you. But I need you safe, Maddie. This is about nothing more than that—and a good thing the guards were there today, even if they were too late. Who knows what else might have happened?”
Frustration burned in her chest, making it hard to breathe. “That is not the point. You cannot make decisions about my life without consulting me. You, of all people, should know how much I hate surprises. To feel powerless in my own life.”
“Maddie—”
“Stop. You cannot treat me like a thing, a possession without a voice. We’ve known each other for far too long for that. And you promised you wouldn’t keep another secret.”
“I couldn’t let my family ruin this for you. I had to keep you safe.”
“You broke your promise to me after only a few days. You have no intention of confiding in me, of trusting me. Of letting me be an equal partner in this marriage.” She dragged in air, filling her lungs as best she could. “I don’t know what happened to you during these last three years, but the man I used to know told me everything. He never hid things from me.”
“That man was not your husband,” he said, his voice hardening. “That man was not responsible for your well-being.”
Tears threatened as the hopelessness of their situation washed over her. The same argument and he still didn’t see her side.
And it was quite clear he never would.
Since he returned, he’d run roughshod over her life. Coerced her into marriage, even after she’d asked for more time. Hadn’t told her about his plans to destroy his family, or the reasons he’d left. He was still dictating their terms, still telling her how this was going to work. Hiding what he deemed necessary instead of sharing with her.
The certainty of it sank into her bones like a lead weight. This marriage was a lost cause. She and Harrison had been compatible as friends, inseparable and synchronous, but that had been ages ago. A relationship required communication and compromise. Honesty and respect. He’d given her little of that, even after he’d promised to.
She wanted a partner, not an overbearing tyrant. Because, over time, such high-handedness would strangle whatever affection she held for him. She’d come to resent him, far more than she did at this moment, and that resentment would transform into loathing.
Clearly, their friendship hadn’t carried over into something more meaningful, as perhaps they’d both hoped. Childhood friendship and physical attraction alone did not make for a happy marriage, and they would only hurt each other far worse if this continued any longer. Because she deserved better than being lied to and kept in the dark regarding decisions that affected her life.
This had all been a terrible mistake.
She had to clear her throat to get it out, but the words needed to be said. “I think we should separate.”
Harrison’s entire body seized, every muscle and tendon locked in surreal horror.
We should separate.
No, he refused to believe it. This was Maddie, and he knew her better than anyone on earth. She couldn’t truly wish to give up on them so soon.
He’d hired guards to keep her safe. True, he hadn’t told her, but how was that a reason to walk away from their marriage?
Dragging in a deep breath, he let it out slowly. “You cannot mean that.”
Her gaze was filled with unhappiness and resolve. “I do. This is not working, Harrison. We are not working. And if we don’t separate, we’ll only come to resent one another. I don’t want that for either of us.”
Resent her? Never. Not in a million years. “I love you. I don’t ever want to be apart from you.”
“You don’t love me.” She stared at the window blankly. “If you did, you would take my wishes into account. You’d keep the promises you made.”
“Wrong. I love every bit of you, from your fierce competitiveness to your stubbornness.” He stepped closer, intending to touch or hold her. Kiss her. Anything to stop this avalanche of panic compounding in his chest. “Your drive and determination, your smile and your laugh . . . there isn’t any part of you that I don’t love.”
“I don’t believe you.” She dropped back a step, out of his reach. “Because if you did, you would listen to me.”
“Fine. I’ll fire the guards and protect you myself. Is that what you want to hear?”
“It’s more than the guards. From the time you returned home you have done what you wanted with little regard for anyone else, including me.”
“That is not true.”
“It is, otherwise you would have confided in me about your family’s finances and the takeover. As well as the real reason for the house party.”
He put up his palms in surrender. “You’re still angry with me for lying, even though I’ve apologized and explained why I didn’t tell you.”
“Yes, but it’s more than that.” She clasped her elbows and gave a tiny shrug. “It’s pushing me when I ask for time to think. It’s not listening to me or taking my wishes into consideration. We are not compatible, Harrison. This is doomed to fail.”
Wrong. He would not allow them to fail.
Unable to help himself, he closed the distance between them and took her face into his hands. She didn’t resist but seemed remote, as if she’d already made up her mind. But he had to try to talk her out of leaving. Prove to her how wrong she was, show how perfect they were for each other.
“What about our wedding night?” he asked softly. “What about those nights since? I’d say we were quite compatible. It could be like that every day for the rest of our lives.”
She stepped around him, pulling out of his grip. “Our happiness was fleeting, a honeymoon period full of lust and abandon. I am talking about the way we communicate and make decisions in a marriage.”
His ribs felt like they were cracking, the pain inside him ballooning. He stared at her, this woman he’d loved for so long, and he could feel her slipping away, as if he were trying to hold dry sand in his fingers.
But what was the alternative? To let her go?
Everything inside him rebelled at the idea. She was his wife. Marrying her was all he’d ever wanted . . and now she wished to leave him.
How would he ever survive it?
Logic. He had to remain calm and use logic.
“You were prepared to marry a duke,” he said. “I find it hard to believe you would have expected compatibility and understanding from Lockwood.”
“Lockwood never lied to me. And I expected partnership and respect, which I believe he would have readily provided. But that is a moot point because you are not Lockwood.”
And thank Christ for that. “Meaning you hold me to a different standard.”
“I barely knew him. You, on the other hand, were once my closest friend. So yes, I expected more from you. But you’ve hurt me, Harrison. Again and again since you’ve returned.” She choked on the last few words, a reaction that felt like a punch to his solar plexus.
He imagined more sand slipping through his fingertips. “I never meant to cause you a moment’s pain. I just . . . God, Maddie. I only want to protect you.”
“I do not need protecting. I am not made of glass. I can learn that my in-laws want to hurt me and still thrash opponents on the tennis court. I can hear of your plans to take over your family’s company and still host a house party in your honor. You underestimate me at every turn.”
Was that truly what she believed? “I have never underestimated you. You’re the smartest and strongest woman I know.”
Her expression remained unchanged. “We want different things. Can’t you see? I want a true partner and you want to live the life you’ve always had, answerable to no one and completely independent. Those two things are incongruous, Harrison. We will only make each other miserable.”
“I only want you—and I will never be miserable in this marriage.”
She closed her eyes briefly, her breathing ragged. “Then I suppose it’s me. I am miserable in this marriage. And I deserve better.”
His mouth dried out, his ears ringing with finality, as the words sank in. She wants out.
Of course she did. She didn’t feel the depth of emotion for him that he felt for her. Twice he’d told her that he loved her and she hadn’t even hinted that she might love him in return. He was trying to hold on to something that didn’t exist, a figment of his imagination, a specter. A ghost of a relationship he’d constructed in his mind in the hopes that it would one day come true.
A pile of dreams built on wishes and faith, not strong enough to withstand the trials a real marriage would need to face. Without equal investment, without love on both sides, the foundation would crumble. Hell, it had already crumbled . . . he just hadn’t wanted to face it.
How could he let her go?
He had to find a way, because he couldn’t cause her any more pain. While he loved her desperately, completely, he knew it wasn’t enough. She’d accused him of never listening to her, never taking her wishes into account. So how could he refuse her this, when it was clear how unhappy he made her?
His pain meant nothing at the prospect of her happiness.
Drawing himself up, he cleared his throat. Twice. “I’ll have annulment paperwork drawn up.”
She studied him, her brows lowered as if she didn’t believe him. “Really?”
“Of course.” He thrust his hands in his trouser pockets. “No sense bothering with the trouble of a divorce. We can say we never lived together after the wedding. It’s mostly true, anyway.”
“Thank you.”
He dipped his chin, unable to say more. His chest felt like it had been doused in kerosene and set ablaze. Each inhale a struggle, each exhale pure agony.
Two tears slid down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away with her fingertips. “Someday, I hope we might be friends again. You and I were clearly much better friends than spouses.”
He didn’t respond—he couldn’t—so she walked to the door, where she paused and looked over her shoulder. “Goodbye, Harrison.”
And the door closed behind her with a snap, the final punctuation mark on their relationship. There was nothing more to be said.
He’d lost her.