Chapter 3
Gamesmanship, Sportsmanship, and Special Golf Outings
In This Chapter
Betting on golf
Planning match-play strategies
Taking business to the course with clients, coworkers, and your boss
Playing with the pros in pro-ams
Not all the golf you play is going to be weekend rounds with your usual group, especially now that the game has become such a popular business, entertainment, and fundraising tool. Business and celebrity outings, as well as charity events and tournaments, are as big a part of golf these days as friendly matches. And knowing what to do — and what not to do — is important.
One inevitable part of golf is betting. To be sure, gambling can be a touchy subject. Golf, being the type of game that it is — easy to handicap, played at a leisurely pace — lends itself to betting. So you’ll probably find yourself playing for money before long. At first the money isn’t much — if you have any sense, that is. But money games can get out of hand if you’re not careful.
Fortunately, this chapter covers the rules for gambling on the course and for handling other sportsmanship situations that golfers encounter. We also discuss many of the unspoken rules of playing with business associates — even your boss — as well as how to handle yourself when you play in a pro-am tournament.
You Bet: Gambling on Your Golf Match
Golfers typically come in two types: those who want an even match and those who want to give you an evil beating. We recommend playing with the first group, at least in your early days. Those folks won’t take advantage of your inexperience. They want a good, close match, so they give you the shots you need to make a good showing. The winner is the one who plays his or her best that day. Nothing wrong with that, of course. If someone is going to win, someone has to lose, and sometimes that loser is you.
Unfortunately, the nice people we just described sometimes seem as rare as four-leaf clovers. That second group constitutes the majority of gambling golfers. They don’t play for the sunshine, the exercise (unless getting in and out of a cart qualifies as exercise), or the relaxation. They play golf for one reason: to bet and win. The following sections guide you through the golf bets you may encounter and help you keep from getting a raw deal when the betting begins.
Never play for more than you can afford to lose. Keep the bets small when you’re a new golfer learning the ropes. Golf is a great game to bet on, but if you lose so much money that it starts to hurt, the game’s no fun. Be careful and bet at your own risk.
Knowing common bets and how to win them
Following are the most common types of golf bets and what you can do to increase your chances of winning:
Nassau: This bet was named for New York’s Nassau Country Club, where it’s said to have originated. Players bet a certain amount on the front nine, the same on the back nine, and the same on their overall score. So if you play a $5 nassau and win every hole, you pocket $15. The tricky part comes when players press, conceding the bet and doubling it for the rest of the round. You can even find an aloha press, in which you press everything on the last hole. By pressing, you can lose the first 17 holes and still come out ahead by winning the 18th.
Even pros are familiar with nassaus. Lee Trevino, in his early days as one of golf’s great hustlers, once said, “Pressure is $5 on the front nine, $5 on the back, and $5 for the 18 when you’ve got $2 in your pocket.”
Skins: Players bet a certain amount each hole — a skin — but if two tie, all tie, and the money is added to the pot for the next hole. If a foursome plays skins and no golfer beats the other three on any hole, you can wind up with five, six, or even more skins riding on a later hole. To win at skins, relax early in the round and focus on playing your best when the chips (well, skins) are down. And don’t be afraid to take risks. Remember, you have to win the hole outright to claim the skin.
Wolf: Golfers take turns being the wolf, who takes on everyone else in the group. For a set price at each hole, the wolf can either choose one of the others as his partner (before anyone tees off) or go wolf and try to win the hole himself. If a wolf partners up and his team wins, he and his partner split the money on that hole. If he goes wolf and wins, he gets it all for himself, but if he loses, he has to pay everyone else. In this game, you’re smarter to partner up if you’re a consistent player and to be the lone wolf if you’re the type who can make a pressure putt.
Snake: Snake is a fun side bet that makes putting more pressure-packed than ever. The first player who 3-putts a green gets a snake that sticks with him until somebody else 3-putts. If the snake is worth $5 and no one 3-putts for five holes, he owes each other player $25. To win snakes, remember that most players leave their first lag putts (long putts meant to end up close to the hole) short. Hit your lag putts hard enough to reach the hole, and you’ll dodge more snakes.
Sixes: Sixes are a best-ball match (where players partner up and take the best score) with a twist: Golfers switch teams every six holes. That means that a foursome features three different best-ball battles in an 18-hole round. In sixes, every member of the foursome plays six holes with every other member. Try to play the first six with your group’s best golfer as your partner. That way, you can establish momentum — and relaxation — that can last all day.
Bingo Bango Bongo: Three points are up for grabs on each hole. One goes to the first golfer on the green (bingo), one to the golfer closest to the hole after everybody’s on the green (bango), and one to the first in the cup (bongo). If a point’s worth $5, you can win $15 on a good hole. Or steal a bango on a bad hole by chipping your sixth shot close.
Many golfers add bets for greenies (anyone hitting the green in one shot wins a predetermined sum from everyone else) or sandies (ditto for anyone who gets from a bunker into the hole in two shots). Such wagers are called junk, but everyone agrees they’re fun. You can add barkies — you win if you hit a tree and still make par or better on a hole — or even bets of your own invention. Years ago, an Arnold Palmer fan invented a bet to honor his hero’s talent for saving par from under trees, behind snack bars, and so on; you win an Arnie if you make par on a hole without ever hitting the fairway.
If you think all those wagers make golf betting seem dizzying, you’re not alone. We’ve seen scorecards so marked up with bets and presses that they looked like modernist paintings. Fortunately, modern technology can help. Apps such as GolfMoolah for the Apple iPhone keep track of all your bets and side bets — all you have to do is hit the ball.
Betting games for practice facilities
Practice facilities have a series of betting games all their own; they’re especially popular at municipal courses, where longer waits for tee times leave you with more time to kill. Here are some favorites:
Take Ho: One player selects a target cup 30 feet or so away, and everyone putts to that hole from the same spot on the putting green. If someone sinks his putt, he wins two points from each of the other players (and the points can be worth any amount you want). The remaining players (or all of them if no one has sunk his ball) determine who’s still farthest away. That player then has two options. He may try to sink his putt, and if he misses, he must pay two points to the remaining players. If he makes it, he loses nothing, and the game starts over at a new hole. Or he can simply pick up and pay one point to each of the other players. The game is great fun for those who have a little accountant in them because it requires a lot of bookkeeping.
Shoot-out: Named after the tie-breaker system used in some soccer and hockey games, this game entails having players hit five shots each from a predetermined distance, usually 3 to 6 feet. Count the number of putts that go in, and whoever has the most wins. If things are still tied up after five, the game goes into sudden death, and the first one to go ahead is the victor. The game makes for a good time; it’s also a good way to work on relaxing over those short putts.
Targets: Each player hits to three imaginary range greens at various distances. The closest one to each one wins a point. Then comes the fourth leg of this game, the drive; the longest ball to land between two predetermined points wins that point. Run it for three cycles, and the person with the most points wins.
Sandies: Working out of practice bunkers, hit five shots each to the pin on the adjoining green. Whoever has the most balls closest to the pin wins a point. Play as long as you have time (or until you’ve hit all the sand out of the bunker). Note: This sandies game is different from the sandies bet on the regular course. See the nearby section “Knowing common bets and how to win them” for info on that wager.
Negotiating strokes at the first tee
Common convention says that most golf bets are won on the first tee — the arena of negotiation, we call it. This spot is where golfers fight over and agree upon bets. The key to first-tee negotiations is determining the number of strokes you give or receive over the course of a round.
As a beginning golfer, you typically play with people whose handicaps are lower than yours, which essentially means they spot you some strokes to make the game a little more even. Say your handicap is 30 and your opponent’s is 18. (Check out Chapter 1 of Book IV for more on handicapping.) That’s 12 strokes to you, right?
How to spot a golf hustler
As a relatively new golfer, you’re going to be a prime target for hustlers. They’ll figure you’re not talented or savvy enough to beat them. And they’ll be right — at least until you’ve played a while. So avoid them. Here’s what to look for:
Does he have a 2-iron in his bag? If so, don’t play him. Only good players can hit those things. (And in these days, when even expert players have traded long irons for hybrid clubs, you may wonder about anyone with a 3-iron, too.)
If a stranger wants to bet serious money, beware. If you do make the bet, make it a straightforward nassau (see the “Knowing common bets and how to win them” section in this chapter for more on nassau bets). Don’t get bamboozled with lots of side bets.
If he uses a ball that isn’t new, say goodbye. Bad players don’t have old balls; they lose them too quickly.
As legendary teacher Harvey Penick used to say, “Beware of the golfer with a bad grip.” Why? Because he’s found a way to make it work.
Another thing about the grip — look at your opponent’s left hand. If he has calluses, he’s either played or practiced a lot. Adios.
If that left hand is less tan than the right, the same applies. Anyone who’s spent that much time wearing a golf glove has probably practiced more than you have.
Not if Mr. Cutthroat has his way. He’s not interested in improving your win chances when money is on the line. He’ll moan that his wife just left him. Or that he hasn’t played in weeks because of his workload at the office, that his old football injury is acting up again, or that he’s worried sick about the value of the euro. In any case, he’ll try to cut your strokes down by at least three. That, he figures, is the edge he needs to beat you.
You have a couple of options here: You either (a) nod sympathetically or (b) spin more tall tales than he just did. What you do not do is give up even a single stroke. Not one. European economy aside, you don’t owe him anything; do you think he’d help you if you were the one with the excuses?
If you find yourself in the position of giving strokes to a player with a higher handicap, never net the strokes so that you’re playing with 0. For example, if your handicap is 12 and your opponent’s is 18, netting gives you 0 strokes and your opponent 6. Take all your strokes because they’re on the toughest holes.
Choosing up sides
As with betting, picking partners for a round of golf can be as cutthroat or as casual as you like. If you’re just playing for fun or for a few dollars, who your partners are doesn’t really matter. If you play with the same people every time, everything pretty much evens out in the end, anyway.
But if things are a little more serious, you need to put some thought into your partners. Here are some rules to follow in “money” games:
Look for a partner who always has a perma-tan and callused, leathery hands.
You want your partner to have more than 37 tags hanging from his bag — preferably from Pebble Beach, PGA West, TPC Sawgrass, Harbour Town, and other famously difficult courses.
If caddies treat him like royalty, take notice.
Snag the guy who has used the same putter since he was 5 years old.
If a guy tells you about his marital problems on the practice range, he’s out!
Conceding putts: “That one’s good”
The green is one place where a little tactical planning can pay dividends when you’re playing for money. No one, from a first-time beginner to the most famous pro, likes short putts, especially when they mean something. That’s why they’re called knee-knockers. For this reason alone, you shouldn’t be too generous in conceding short putts to your opponents. Always ask yourself whether you’d fancy hitting the same putt. If the answer is “no” or even “not really,” say nothing and watch.
That’s the hard-nosed approach. If you’re playing a friendly round or you’re with your boss, you can be a bit more generous. The conventional rule has long been that any putt inside the leather — that is, any putt closer than the length of the grip on your putter (or in some places, between the grip and the clubhead) to the hole is deemed to be unmissable and therefore a gimme. Such a policy is still applicable today, although those long putters some players use have pretty long grips, so watch out!
If, like Goldilocks, you don’t like either of the extreme approaches in this section, you can consider the middle ground favored by the great Walter Hagen, the best match player of his day. In the 1920s, when the PGA Championship was a match-play event (in which each hole is a separate contest), “The Haig” won it four times in a row. So he had to know a thing or two about psychology. One of his ploys was to concede a few shortish putts early in the match. That way, two things happened: His opponent got used to being given putts and, perhaps more importantly, was deprived of the practice of knocking a few in. Then later in the round, old Walter wasn’t so generous. The opponent would suddenly be faced with a knee-knocker, the sort of putt he hadn’t hit all day.
I don’t really recommend Walter’s strategy. You can lose friends in a hurry if they miss that short one on the 17th. And your strategy may not work. Remember: A short putt missed on the 3rd green counts the same as one on the 17th or 18th.
Showing Off Your Match-Play Smarts
Stroke play has a simple premise: Score the best you can over 18 holes. Match play is equally simple: Win more holes than the other golfer. As you can probably guess, match play generally involves more strategy and thinking than stroke play. Here are some match-play tips:
Don’t be too bold too soon. Play conservatively on the first few holes to avoid making big numbers at the outset. Handing a couple of early holes to your opponent only hurts your confidence and boosts his.
Never lose your temper. Nothing gives your opponent more heart than watching and listening as you blow a gasket.
Pay attention to where your opponent’s ball is at all times. Your opponent’s situation dictates your tactics on any given shot. For example, if he’s deep in the woods, you may want to play it safe.
Figure that your opponent will hole every putt he looks at. Then you aren’t disappointed if he does make one. And if he misses, you get a boost.
Observe and contradict your opponent’s patterns. Watch how fast he walks, for example. If he’s slow, go fast; if he’s fast, slow down. Anything to break his natural rhythm.
Try never to hit two bad shots in a row. Easier said than done, of course! But trying to hit a great shot to make up for a bad one is tempting. Instead, try to follow up a clunker with a decent shot — you avoid more train wrecks (golf talk for disasters) that way. Sometimes mediocrity pays.
Never second-guess yourself. If you’re playing it safe, don’t suddenly get aggressive halfway into your downswing. And if you’re going for it, don’t hold back. Even if you miss, you’ll feel better because you tried!
Only concede a hole when the situation is hopeless. Make your opponent win the hole instead of gift-wrapping it for him. The more shots he has to hit under pressure, the more likely he is to make a mistake.
Minding Your Manners When Golf is All Business
Golf is not only a game of fun and recreation but also, to many players, a critical business tool for building relationships with their customers and coworkers and developing deals. Think about it: The setting is comfortable and relaxed, and you have a captive audience with the person for a few hours, a scenario that’s hard to duplicate any other way (well, any other legal way). And watching someone compete is a great way to gauge what kind of person and businessperson he or she is.
Golf outings have become a staple of doing business in the United States, but they don’t necessarily attract the most stringent followers of golf rules and etiquette or always induce participants to adhere to those codes. In fact, business-related golf outings often have a bit of the Wild West in them, simply because not all the invitees know a lot about the game of golf. And the host may have a hard time doing anything when someone behaves badly — whether intentionally or not — because he’s trying to schmooze the very people he has asked to the outing. Even Emily Post would admit that chastising someone for various breaches of rules or etiquette on the golf course isn’t the best way to advance your entertainment goals.
The following bits of advice apply to all games of golf you may play, but they’re especially important to those rounds that have a business bent.
Playing golf with your clients
If you play business golf, your most likely companions are going to be clients or people you want to have as clients. Follow the simple guidelines in the following sections, and you should increase your chances of nailing that big deal.
Go all out for your clients, even if doing so means a day of hell on the golf course. You invited them; now you should take care of them. And who knows, your fortitude may even work out for you in the long run.
Make sure your clients like golf before inviting them
You never want to put someone in the awkward position of doing something he or she doesn’t really want to do. A quick inquiry can pay a lot of dividends here and should let you know whether golf is a good idea.
Inform your partners of the dress code and other rules
Letting your playing partners know what to expect helps put them at ease and ensures that everyone will be able to focus on the game and have a good time. Even if you know your clients have played golf before, don’t assume they know the rules at the course where you’re taking them. Some places, for example, don’t allow men to wear shorts. Others insist that men don jackets — and sometimes ties — in the clubhouse. If that’s the case, tell your clients that beforehand to avoid any chance of embarrassment or inappropriate attire.
Alert your guests to things like tipping policies (most clubs don’t allow tipping, but the daily-fee facilities do) and whether soft spikes on golf shoes are mandatory (they usually are). Remember, these folks are your (potential) clients, and you want to take good care of them and make them as comfortable as possible.
Compliment your clients on their games
Even if he hasn’t had that great a shot, offering a client a compliment can’t hurt. You don’t want to overdo it, but you can find genuine ways to praise even the ugliest drives or chips. “That’ll play” usually works. If someone is putting, you may want to holler, “One time!” if his putt looks like it has any chance of falling into the hole. Doing so makes you sound supportive and into the game. Another innocuous but effective bit of encouragement is to ask with a certain amount of incredulity, “How did that stay out?” if a putt does just that.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if, as the beholder, you’re trying to get — or keep — someone’s business, your standards as to what truly constitutes a good shot are bound to go down. But hey, you have to do what you can.
Help your clients look for lost balls
Few things can be as frustrating as searching fruitlessly for a ball in the rough while the other members of the foursome are off chatting. If you don’t lend a hand to a client who has just put his drive in the deep rough, what kind of a partner are you going to be if something goes wrong in a business deal?
Don’t talk business every minute
The idea of a business round is to have fun and build a relationship. Oftentimes, a golf game is your first and best chance to get to know each other. Be patient and let things flow naturally from your game. Don’t fret if you haven’t cut the big deal by the end of the day. In reality, very few business sales are actually closed on the course, but an effective and efficient round can ensure that those sales happen shortly afterward.
We recommend that you don’t even broach the subject of business until you’re well into the first nine. And after that, do it sparingly. Every rule has exceptions, of course, including this one. Be aware of what your clients really want businesswise out of the round and follow their lead. If they seem to want to talk business with greater intensity and regularity and possibly wrap up some sort of agreement on the course, by all means, go for it.
Don’t be a teacher
Nothing is worse than having some know-it-all start handing out midround playing tips. This presumption is both obnoxious and patronizing and shouldn’t happen.
Be careful about making any unsolicited comment or reference to anyone’s swing. Saying something like, “I’m amazed you can get so much distance with such a short backswing” only causes your guest to think about his backswing the next time he stands up to a drive. Maybe he tries to lengthen it, and invariably he hits the worst drive of the day at that very moment.
Walk whenever possible
In addition to having a general disdain for golf carts (except for those who have a medical excuse), we find them to be particularly unhealthy for business golf because they break up the foursome. If you’re all walking, you can stride down the fairway together and split off into different twosomes any time you want. This strategy gives everyone a chance to be with each other. Carts inhibit good interaction between players. If you have two carts, the social aspect of the game is interrupted because you have two separate vehicles tooling down the paths.
Look the other way if your client breaks a rule here or there
Golf is a game governed very strictly and appropriately by rules, and following them whenever you play is important. But when you’re playing with clients, you may need to overlook a few things — especially if you’re playing with a good customer. We’re not talking about actively cheating here (such as purposely misrecording scores); cheating is wrong, of course, and it sends the wrong message. Do you want potential business partners to see you as a corner-cutter or, worse, a dishonest person? Don’t cheat even if no one else can possibly know. You’ll know.
However, you may encounter a client who likes to use the so-called foot wedge to kick his ball out of the rough. Rather than call him out for his fancy footwork, you may need to let that little infraction slide to keep the mood light and make the sale.
Keep the jokes G-rated
Go easy when it comes to telling jokes. The golf course is a great place for classic storytelling and bawdy jokes. But when you’re playing for business, be sure to stay away from any jokes that may offend people in your group. An offensive joke or story can easily ruin an otherwise good round, to say nothing of what it may do to the business relationship.
Don’t go overboard with the booze
Drinking is another area of concern, and with good reason. Too many drinks before, during, or after a round can cause significant problems at the workplace. And it doesn’t do your driving home any good either.
The best advice is to follow the lead of your client. Wait to see what he does, and then go from there. That doesn’t mean you have to toss down one shot after another just because the potential client you really want is doing it. But if your client has a beer after a round, don’t be afraid to have one yourself if you want to. If, however, your client sticks to plain old lemonade, hold off on the booze. You never know whether he’s a teetotaler offended by any alcoholic consumption or perhaps has a drinking problem and is uncomfortable around drinkers. Plus, if you’re the only one drinking, you may end up yapping too much after a drink or two and saying something you may regret later.
As the host, offer your guests a drink as a matter of courtesy. But don’t push the booze on anyone, and don’t make them feel uncomfortable if they do or don’t partake.
Playing golf with your boss
The golf you play with the boss can be the diciest of rounds. You may be a little nervous, and your game may very well reflect that. The key here is to relax and try to enjoy yourself.
When playing with your boss (or with anybody, really), you want to do your best. If you’re just starting to play golf, you don’t have to worry about beating the boss and feeling bad. He or she has probably played a lot longer than you have and just wants to get to know you on the course. The golf course is a great place to find out a person’s true personality. The game leaves you psychologically naked in front of your peers. See the nearby sidebar “What golf tells you about a person.”
As your game develops and you become a better player, your boss may recognize your golf game as an asset to the company. Millions of dollars in business deals have been negotiated on the golf course.
Playing golf with your coworkers
If you’re playing a round with your coworkers, follow the same general tips for playing with clients. The hope is that your coworkers are your friends, and the occasional round of golf should be a good way to solidify those relationships. If you don’t know each other, golf can be a great way to break the ice and develop that friendship.
Be careful about engaging in office gossip with coworkers you don’t know very well, and don’t say anything that may offend them (and get you in trouble with others). And because you’re playing with people from your office, you need to be on your best behavior, especially with folks you aren’t that close to. You never know how some faux pas may affect you at work.
Surviving a Pro-Am
One tradition in pro golf is called a pro-am (short for professional-amateur tournament), where professional players partner with amateur golfers as teams (though some do include rounds that actually count for the pros). If you’re armed with a sizable amount of cash (as little as $500 or more than $10,000, but often around $5,000), you can tee it up with Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Karrie Webb, or Rory McIlroy and tell your friends for the next 300 business lunches how you enthralled these pros with your prowess on the course and your witty banter between shots.
Pro-ams provide one of the great thrills in sports because what other game allows amateurs to play with professionals? Ever hear of any of your friends shooting hoops with Michael Jordan or running pass patterns for Tom Brady? No, because that sort of thing doesn’t happen in basketball, football, hockey, or baseball. But it does in golf, thanks largely to a handicap system that makes it possible for rank amateurs to play with tour stars.
Most pro-ams take place on Wednesday, the day before the professional tournament begins and a time when the folks on tour are mostly concerned with getting in a little practice. But some events, like the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am and the Bob Hope Chrysler Classic, last longer. Each team consists of four amateurs and a pro. Corporations pay handsomely for the opportunity to put their names on tournaments and entertain their clients. This setup is unique in sports, and it’s the pros’ duty to see that corporate clients have a good time and want to come back for more.
Since 1998, the Saturday Series has been a pro-am for the budget-minded. It pairs amateurs with pros who have missed the cut (failed to score well enough to continue) in the current week’s PGA Tour event, on a course near that week’s tour venue. Entry fees are often less than half than those at traditional pro-ams. To find out more about the Saturday Series, check out www.saturday series.com.
The following sections spell out tips for pros and amateurs alike — a few do’s and don’ts of playing with a pro and a road map through the purgatory of the pro-am. We hope these guidelines help both you and your pro enjoy the day.
Know your skill level. Make sure you’re a good enough golfer and know enough about the game to play a decent round and not cause anyone any problems or embarrassment on the course. No one is asking for you to play at scratch (0-handicap). But you should at least have played enough to have a handicap, some tournament experience, and a good understanding of the rules and etiquette of the game before entering a pro-am. Otherwise, the experience simply won’t be a pleasant one for all involved. (Flip to Chapters 1 and 2 of Book IV for details on getting a handicap and mastering etiquette, respectively.)
Get a caddie. Having a caddie to carry your clubs is the only way to play the pro-am game. You can walk free of hindrance and have clubs handed to you clean and dry. If possible, get one of the tour caddies whose player isn’t in the pro-am. For $50 to $100, you can hire someone who is used to being screamed at and blamed for the weather, the rate of inflation, and some of those hard-to-explain skin rashes.
Mind you, the caddie can’t help you choose clubs very well at first because he or she isn’t familiar with your play. But as your round progresses, he or she catches on and helps you more and more. Your caddie can also regale you with bizarre caddying stories, or looper legends. These tales are worth the price of admission. You can find more information on working with caddies in Chapter 2 of Book IV.
Be ready to hit. You need to be ready to swing even if it isn’t your turn. Discuss with your partners the concept of ready golf before you tee off. This setup means forgetting who earned the right to tee up first from the last hole — if you’re ready, hit the ball. Pro-am play can be hideously slow, and your pro really appreciates it if you keep things going.
Respect your pro. Make sure that you, your caddies, and your partners don’t move or talk when your pro is playing, and keep out of his way as he hits his shots. Show the pro the utmost respect out on the course. Remember that this arena is where the pros make their livings, and even if it’s a practice round, they’re still trying to concentrate on things that can make the difference in winning or losing thousands of dollars of prize money.
Forget your cellphone. Don’t bring cellphones out to the golf course. They don’t belong there, and neither do you if you can’t get through a round without putting one to your ear. The only two exceptions we can think of are if you’re a doctor on call and may have to respond to an emergency or if your wife is pregnant and about to have your child. Otherwise, leave the phones at home.
Get a yardage book. A yardage book (a booklet showing distances from various landmarks on each hole that you often find for sale in the pro shop) can help you contribute to your pro’s mental health by being the first “ammy” in the history of his pro-am career not to ask the question “How far have I got from here?”
Don’t insist on holing out a doomed ball. If you’re up to seven or so strokes on a particular hole, pick up your ball instead of hacking away for several more strokes. And be sure to tell your pro that you’ve done so. Not only do you contribute to the pace of play by picking up, but you also avoid the awkward situation of having the pro wait, expecting you to hit. The general rule is, if you can’t make better than a net par (the maximum score for the hole), put the ball in your pocket and move on, marking that maximum score on your card.
This tip doesn’t contradict the earlier advice in this chapter telling you never to give up (see “Being a grinder”). You should not pick up your ball if you have any chance to help your team. But the moment that chance disappears, pocket that ball. In a pro-am, the only thing worse than waiting around for no apparent reason is waiting around for a very bad apparent reason — for example, somebody who’s holing out for a 9.
Don’t sweat your score or whether your pro sweats the score. Don’t be upset if your pro doesn’t know how your team stands. It’s a Wednesday. He probably doesn’t even know his own score, and, quite honestly, after the 26th pro-am of the year, he may not remember what his gender is.
Watch your step. Yes, you’re wearing soft spikes and it shouldn’t matter, but stepping on somebody’s putting line, regardless of what’s on the bottom of your soles, is an invitation to a hissy fit. Even soft spikes leave indentations in the green that can send a putt veering off-line. Be very, very mindful of the line of your pro’s putt. Look at TV coverage of a golf tournament and see how respectful the pros are of each other’s lines. Stepping on another pro’s line is close to stepping on Old Glory.
Simply ask the pro where his line is, and he’ll show you.
Don’t coach the pro. If you’re still interested in playing in a pro-am ever again, do not give the pro any advice on how to play the course, even if you can wander it in the dark without bumping into anything.
The four best pro-ams
Almost every professional golf tournament has them, but our friends in the game say these are the pro-ams you really want to play:
AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am: The crème de la crème of this kind of golf outing, the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, first gained its fame as Bing Crosby’s Clambake, and the crooner’s Hollywood buddies would all show up. Started in San Diego in 1937, the event moved to the Monterey Peninsula in 1953 and has been there ever since. Crosby’s name hasn’t been attached to it since 1985, but the tournament is still a must-play. Why? Its history, for one thing. Also, amateurs get at least three days of golf and play on some fabulous courses, including Pebble Beach. No event has such a flashy group of celebrities (“You’re away, Mr. Costner”), and the parties are pretty good, too.
Bob Hope Chrysler Classic: This great tournament features four days of golf on some of the best courses in the Palm Springs area. The Hope has history, beautiful weather in the winter, lots of parties, and a good complement of celebrities from both the sports and entertainment worlds. In addition, it always attracts a very strong field of touring pros at a time when they’re fresh and the new season is just starting up.
Kraft Nabisco Championship: One of the things that make this two-day, LPGA pro-am so good is that it’s one of that tour’s Grand Slam events. The best players in the world show up to compete at Mission Hills in Palm Springs, and that means good pairings for the amateurs. It also means plenty of topflight stargazing because celebrities flock to this event, not only to play but also to entertain. One year, for example, Celine Dion sang at the big pro-am dinner, and years ago, when the tournament bore singer Dinah Shore’s name, she used to coax people like Frank Sinatra into stopping by for a song. The prizes are deluxe, the social events happening, and the desert setting first-rate. Plus, many amateurs say that players from the women’s tour are better than their male counterparts at relating to weekend golfers and making sure they have a great time, so playing with them is an added bonus.
Hassan II Trophy: This pro-am is easily the most exotic — and certainly one of the most exclusive in the world. Started by the late King Hassan II of Morocco in 1971 and staged on the superlative Red Course at the Royal Dar Es Salaam Golf Club in the capital city of Rabat, it attracts pros from both the American and European men’s and women’s tours and includes a couple of black-tie dinners and ten days of fun in the North African kingdom. Participants get to eat, drink, play, and travel with the pros; rub elbows with Moroccan royalty; and experience everything from the souks in Marrakech to the ancient Roman ruins at Volubilis. Locals feel that anyone who plays in the Hassan II Trophy is a guest of the King (now the late monarch’s eldest son, Mohammed VI), and competitors are treated royally at every turn.
Let the pro’s caddie advise him. Even giving the occasional line off the tee (“Aim for the church steeple”) can be dangerous because you don’t normally play from where the pro tees off.
Go easy on the autographs. Don’t badger your pro with dozens of photograph and autograph requests. You can ask for some (it’s expected), but too many can get very, very tiresome. Pros sometimes talk about being ammed out (sick of playing with amateurs). Try not to be the one who does that to your guy. (And if you see one of your playing partners starting to get that way, tell him to back off as well.)
Relax and have fun. Playing with someone who drives the ball 60 yards past you or never misses a green with his irons (while you miss every one) can be a bit intimidating. Don’t worry; that’s why they’re pros. Just play your game and do what you can to help the team.
Pros are people like everyone else, and some are better at this pro-am game than others. Unfortunately, some players on the tour just can’t let loose enough to have fun with their amateurs. It’s “Hello” on the first tee, “Good-bye” on 18, a few “Nice shots” in between, and that’s it. But the vast majority of the pros are extremely good at making their amateurs feel welcome. They tell jokes, dole out playing tips, give you high-fives, and help you read putts. The key is this: Treat your pro with consideration and respect, and the pro will likely do the same for you.