By the time Renee lets me out of the simulator, I’ve zoned out like I do in basketball practice when I know the moves and don’t have to think. With every muscle burning, I collapse into a chair by the monitoring equipment.
Sam barges in. “On your feet, grunts. You’re not on holiday. Double-time to the gym.”
Sister recruits slump onto the floor. We all reek of sweat. It’s 2 p.m., and we’ve been in the simulator two hours. It seems like 20, and I’m famished.
Renee hustles me and the rest of her recruits out toward the gym.
“When do we break for lunch?” I rub my stomach.
When we reach the gym, Renee gathers us around. “Listen up. This is intensive training. We don’t have time to waste. While your stomachs won’t agree, we injected you with nutritional supplements after your fights to last you until dinner. You need to push your limits. Now give me 30 pushups and 30 sit-ups, and meet me by the weights.”
This is crazy. But I can’t disappoint my team: little Brandy, wiry Margarite, freckle-faced Hannah, tough-blonde Vivian, or Tara, with her crooked nose. It’s amazing how I feel part of this unit after only a few hours. Is it because we’ve all been through shocking fights and grueling training?
I finish first and linger with Brandy, who struggles to get the last of her sit-ups. If we’re a team, then we stick together and help each other. Yet in the tournament I’ll have to fight these girls, and I don’t want to.
On the weights I’m too weary to press 50 pounds before Renee sends us out for a 10-mile run. I don’t have it in me to sprint, even though Renee runs alongside, prodding us. At least I don’t have Dara to contend with. Tough-looking Vivian is the weakest runner. I run next to her, give her encouragement and with it, urge myself on. It gives me an excuse not to burn myself out.
By the time I stumble back toward the gym, my stomach’s in knots. I’m ready to eat anything in sight. With my muscles in full rebellion, I collapse by the door. Brandy helps me to my feet before my muscles cramp and freeze up. We look like survivors of the Bataan Death March helping each other back inside. It’s only four. When is dinner?
“Let’s see some hustle.” Renee sounds like Sam. “Get into mech gear and show me what you learned in simulation.”
I’m in a daze floating into the big gym, as if I’m in the simulator watching a whole other Annabelle. I can barely lift the pieces of the mech suit off the rack. I step into the leg units and need Brandy’s help to heft the front and back plates up and snap them into place. I hope hydraulics will offset this weariness. I’d hate to pass out in all this gear.
When I get the helmet on and take my first steps, I feel spastic. My muscles move to their own sagging will. Across from me Brandy tries chops and kicks that are intimidating with the force and speed enhancements of the suit. Renee pairs us at one end of the big gym.
When she gives the signal, Brandy attacks. My body responds with block and thrust moves from the simulator that I didn’t know before today. Adrenaline brushes my exhaustion aside. Knowing the suit protects Brandy, I let my thrusts connect with her mech-shielded body. We explode into jabs and chops.
I’m getting the hang of this when Renee stops us. “Take off the suits and face each other in the ring.”
It takes all my effort to remove the gear. My muscles scream for relief. I follow Brandy into one of the rings. We bow and approach to engage. I can’t raise my arms to defend myself. I try to focus and see Brandy barely able to stand.
“That’s enough for today,” Sam announces. “Get cleaned up. Chow’s in the cafeteria. Then you’re free to go.”
For a nano-second I’m disappointed that I worked myself up to fight and had it called off. Then Brandy collapses into my arms and hangs there.
I keep from falling and steady her. “You okay?”
“Legs gave out. You?”
“Same.” I put my arm under hers and help her toward the showers in the back of the gym.
It’s only the six of us. I’m too exhausted to feel self-conscious, not only about communal showers, but helping each other out of sweaty clothes, and looking our best afterwards.
When we drag ourselves into the cafeteria, Dara sits in the middle, bragging to her posse about how tough and awesome she is. I lead Renee’s grunts to the back corner. We slump around a table with steaming bowls of stew. I expect something security bland and am delighted by a pinch of salt and spice and big chunks of chicken.
Renee joins us, her face softened. “You grunts did well today. It’s a long journey. It’ll be rough throughout, so if you’re having second thoughts…”
We all shake our heads, though I’m certain we all want to quit.
* * *
After what seems a month of conditioning and training and filling my mind and body with who knows what, all I want to do is crawl into a corner and die. But if I don’t go see Janine, she’ll come to me, taking far too many risks, and exposing herself to more of the mech world.
I’m on my way out of the building when Sam grabs me. “A word, please.”
I follow her, expecting we’ll head to her office. Instead, she pulls me past the empty nurse’s station into the small infirmary I used earlier.
“Remove your clothes and hop up.” Sam points to the bed. “You’re in no condition to be tooling about town. I don’t fancy losing recruits to stupidity.”
“I–”
“Relax, Number Two Grunt. This won’t take long. Then you can be on your way.”
I relax into the thin mattress and imagine sleeping for weeks. “I’m fine.”
“Your medical implant says otherwise. Your blood pressure’s up. You lack electrolytes. If you don’t get relief, you face systemic failure.”
I don’t know whether to feel impressed that she knows, grateful that she cares, or abused that I’m just an asset she has to protect.
Sam has me lie face down and starts an IV. While she fills my body with more chemicals, she applies warm, soothing cream to my back.
“What are all these chemicals doing to me? I mean, IVs, pills and–”
“I could tell you I don’t know, but that won’t be satisfying.” Sam applies cream across my back and down my legs and arms.
I’m on fire like hot chocolate on a chilly night. While the cream and the IV warm me, I relax. Layers of tension peel away as if I’m bundled for an Antarctic expedition that turned into a desert stroll.
“I could tell you it’s top secret and if I told you…well, you get the idea.”
Relaxing more, I stop caring what she’s giving me, because it’s what I need.
“The cream is a muscle relaxer and toner. Nano-particles penetrate deep into muscle tissue to nourish and rejuvenate. The IV will replenish fluids, electrolytes and other elements you’re lacking. It helps your body expel excess lactic acid and other toxins. We’re almost done.”
“Thanks. Sometimes I think you hate me, and then you act nice.”
“Don’t make too much of this.” Sam stops with the cream. “You had a tough fight today. If you return, I’m confident you’ll make it to the end. That choice is yours. As for tending your medical needs, I do that for any warrior or recruit who needs it. I can’t afford to play favorites. You’re the only one who needed medical attention tonight.”
Sam removes the IV. “Get dressed and get some sleep. I’ll expect you here at eight if you wish to continue.”
* * *
By the time I reach the cop station, my muscles no longer burn. I long to see Janine, download my misery from today and frighten her away from the mechs.
Brooks is not at her cluttered desk. I check the roster in the break room. She’s out.
“They left ten minutes ago,” Scarlatti says. “Got a lead on some boys.”
I freeze. What if one of the boys gets angry enough to grab Janine? I hope Morgan wouldn’t, but what about the others? “Where did they go? I can offer backup.”
“You don’t have a partner.” Which means I’m no longer needed. Scarlatti carries her victory back to her office.
I trot upstairs to Liz’s desk and get her to tell me where Voss and Brooks went. Then I zip out on my cycle. Reaching the sprawling University of Tennessee campus, I pull up beside six squad sedans and Brooks’ two-seater. Voss is giving the cops instructions in full view of an abandoned dorm that’s boarded up on the first floor. I spot Janine snug inside the little bug. Such an obedient girl.
I pop the door open and almost get jolted when Janine aims her stun-gun at me. She drops the gun and scrambles out to give me a hug. “You survived. Do you need me to–” She stops and straightens up when Brooks walks over.
Brooks pats my sore shoulder. “To what do we owe a mech trainee gracing our humble lives?”
“I thought you could use more backup,” I say.
“So you don’t think I can handle myself.” Janine gives me her pouty face.
“You don’t know how many boys are out here, do you?”
“We don’t,” Brooks admits. “Let’s go. We get the back.”
She hands me a stun-gun and leads the way around the tall brick building that awaits a tear-down or remodel, probably into apartments.
When we reach the back stairs, I take Janine’s hand. She pulls away. I’ve hurt her feelings, but this is her first raid and we don’t know what to expect.
“You go ahead,” I say. “I’ll hang back in case you need anything.”
Brooks nods and leads Janine up concrete stairs. When they disappear into the former dorm building, I slip behind one of six green Dumpsters. This is the first time I’ve been without a partner. All I have is this one-shot zapper and the collar remote. And that works only if the boys haven’t masked their collars. I hold one in each hand.
Not only am I exhausted from the mech workout, I feel vulnerable and stupid. I should have gone in with Brooks and Janine. Instead, I’ve caved to my sister’s pouting and put myself in danger. I’m in no condition to defend myself.
Glancing out from behind Dumpsters that stink of rotten food, I wonder where the rest of Voss’ cops are. Anyone hiding in this abandoned dorm would look for the back way out. I don’t see any other cops. Voss has the entire force out front with only Brooks and my baby sister covering the back. Plus stupid me.
The crash of metal startles me. I fall away from the Dumpster and come face-to-face with a boy climbing down. Big and menacing, he towers over me. I recognize the handsome face beneath the tuft of red hair. Morgan? My knees are too weak to stand; my mouth too dry to talk. My hands tremble with the collar remote and stun-gun. Even if I trigger the remote, his collar is masked.
He stares down, a flash of recognition.
Gazing up, I struggle for breath. I study his sweet, boyish face: a masculine face, no longer muddy. I’m awash with feelings I don’t have around girls, and didn’t have around Brad. My heart races. I need to capture him. It’s my job. I want to run off with him and talk and explore. I’m paralyzed, though not by fear. What shall I do?
“Are you going to use that on me?” he asks in a gentle bass voice. “If not, then I need to go.” He smiles and backs away. “Thank your mom again for me, and thank you for helping.” He turns and sprints down the alley.
“Wait.” Where are you from? What do you like? Where will you go? When can I see you again? I take a deep breath and aim the stun-gun at his back. Don’t go. My hand shakes. I can’t trigger the stupid thing. He wants what I want: freedom. Godspeed.
Getting to my feet, I hear footsteps. More boys? The stun-gun triggers, firing electrodes and a pulse toward the street, into thin air. Morgan disappears around a corner. How stupid. Now I have no weapons. All I have are my bare hands, and whatever I’ve learned today.
I jump from beside the Dumpster and launch an attack, some combination of simulated martial arts. I halt inches from Janine’s face. She stands, petrified. I drop my spent stun-gun and hold her. “I’m sorry. I had company.”
Janine’s eyes glaze over.
“Babe, talk to me. Tell me you’re okay.”
Her face seems to explode while her hands thrust to my throat. I almost have a heart attack.
“Got you back.” She lowers her hands. “So you did learn something today.”
“If you two are finished…” Brooks says. “What happened?”
I take a deep breath, lean against the Dumpster, and steal a glance down the alley to make sure Morgan is gone. I miss him already. “I hid behind the Dumpster. A boy jumped me. There may have been two or three. He hit me and ran. I didn’t see much.”
“Which way?”
I hope Brooks doesn’t notice the moment of indecision. I point toward the street, where I discharged my stun-gun. “I fired but missed. I had no other weapons, so I hid and looked for other boys. When I looked back, he was gone.”
“We caught three,” Brooks says, walking away.
“You met an honest to goodness boy,” Janine whispers. She looks more excited than scared.
“His collar was masked, so the remote didn’t work,” I add.
I lead the way around the former dorm to the cars and my cycle. Janine holds my arm and looks furtively in all directions as if she expects the boy to jump her.
I’ve never really met Morgan, yet I can’t help replaying two missed opportunities. It’s like I’ve known him for months. We’ve been watching each other from across the street. Then, when I come face-to-face, I blow it.
I’m not a good cop, either. I let him go.
Will I ever see you again?
* * *
Since the shift is over, Brooks returns to the station to clock Janine out. When I give my sister a lift home, she holds onto me from behind tighter than usual. I really frightened her, but she had to put up a good front for Brooks. After all, if she can’t be a mech or a cop, they’ll ship her off to transit patrol or worse.
Mom’s car isn’t in the garage when we get there, which isn’t unusual. I wonder whether she’s helping my redhead. If so, I pray Voss didn’t capture her.
Janine takes my hand and leads me past Mama Helen, who’s reading some medical report on her e-pad, and Mama Grace, talking to Sarah. Therese must be upstairs with the other girls, supervising homework. She’s always been a better role model than me.
When we reach our bedroom, Janine shuts the door and locks it. Then she comes at me and throws me onto the bed. “I want to do mech training with you, Belle. You terrified me tonight. I don’t like being terrified of you.” She breaks down sobbing in my arms.
I hold her and stroke her soft brown hair until she stops crying.
Her face brightens. She gets up and tugs me to my feet. “Come on. Show me.”
I grab her arms and steady her. She lost her anchor today, and I’m to blame. “I don’t want to fight, Babe. I don’t even like the mechs. I just want you safe. I’m so sorry about scaring you.”
Janine pushes and tries to throw me. When I can’t stop her, I wrestle her to the hardwood floor and pin her arms and legs. Only then does she relax, purring like she does at night.
“You will stay tonight, won’t you?” she asks. A mixture of playfulness and worry lines crosses her soft face.
I nod and let go. “But I have to be there early. Now if you don’t mind, I’m exhausted. We’ll talk mechs over the weekend.”
I toss her the last so she won’t think I’ve abandoned her. Then I take her downstairs and fix her a bland turkey sandwich. She won’t leave my side. In fact, when I go to bed early, Janine follows like my shadow.