By the time we reach the simulator room, my stomach threatens to bring up that turkey sandwich. What have you done, Mom? I can’t lose you, too. I shield my face from Sam as she turns us over to Camilla, the ruddy-faced warrior-tech who is recalibrating the simulators.
After Sam leaves, Janine whispers, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I give her my can’t-talk look, which leaves worry-lines spreading across her forehead. Not as worried as I am. Mom says I need to think of the consequences before I act. I get it, Mom.
I climb into a simulator and take comfort in the foam that engulfs me. “Put us both into martial arts training, Janine on level one, me on five.”
“Are you sure?” the technician asks.
“Janine isn’t ready for level two,” I say.
“I mean you.”
“Level five, Camilla, please.” I tremble so hard I’m glad I’m enclosed in the simulator so she can’t see.
“Your pulse and blood pressure are off the chart. I should–”
“Camilla, put me into level five.”
The program fires up. The machine pushes my body to kick, thrust, and dodge every which way. Fighting to keep lunch down, I dig into rigorous exercise to overwhelm my feelings of helplessness and loss, of my world turned upside down. Toxins build in my bloodstream as muscles reach exhaustion and act spastic.
The session ends. The panel opens. Camilla stands there, her ruddy face taut. “Blood pressure’s down, but your pulse is racing. And we have to get you hydrated.”
That means another IV and more of Sam’s meds. I don’t protest when Camilla and Janine help me to the infirmary. After Camilla sets up the IV, she leaves.
Janine holds my free hand tight. “Talk to me.”
Looking away, I shake my head. All I see are consequences. I helped Morgan and brought him home. I got Mom involved. Now Sam’s hunting them.
Janine moves the IV, and sits on my lap. “Belle, you’re scaring me.”
“Just cramps.”
“Don’t give me that. Did you see that boy from Michael’s?”
I have to give her something. “This feels like a prison camp. Sam watches everything we do. How did we get like this?”
“We give up some freedoms to protect what we need.” The Federal Union party line.
“I’m okay, sis. I just found it overwhelming. Then I overdid it.”
“I’ll say. The tech said you were on the verge of a heart attack. Belle, don’t you dare do that to me.”
I hold Janine and get an idea. When Camilla returns, I ask, “Can we explore the mech suit com-link without the suit?”
“Sure.” Camilla checks my vitals and removes the IV. Then she leads us out of the infirmary and down the hall.
I struggle to keep up. “Can we get a private channel for Janine and me?”
“You mean unmonitored?” Camilla asks.
“And not recorded?”
“Sure, why?”
“She’s my sister, and I want a private moment with her.”
“Ah.” The husky tech smiles and leads us into a small room with two sound enclosures. “First we need to give Janine the auditory implant. Is that okay?”
Janine nods, with excitement that disturbs me.
Camilla gives Janine the injection behind her ear and attaches the com-link helmet, similar to mech suits, but lighter. I attach my own and enter my sound room.
After the tech leaves, Janine whispers. It’s like in our room at night, except I can’t feel her breath on my ear. “Now will you tell me what’s troubling you?”
It’s strange to have her thoughts bypass my eardrum and penetrate my skull like telepathy. I don’t so much hear her words as think them myself. It makes me wonder if Sam can root around in my brain. I have to believe she’s monitoring this conversation.
“Watching the surveillance got me thinking of every time I cut school or went down by the river or off to the woods. It’s creepy to think someone watches everything I do.” I vocalize these thoughts and hope this will satisfy Janine.
“Then I have good reason to worry when you do.”
I savor Janine’s thoughts inside me. It’s a deeper connection with her.
“I like this as well,” Janine says.
But I didn’t say anything. I try to block my thoughts. Have I accidentally shared thoughts with my mech team? I’ll have to watch that. I project an idea: If you hear me, say 17.
“Seventeen. Of course I hear you. We’re linked.”
She’s far too casual about this. Her facility with technology amazes me. Janine, I didn’t vocalize 17. This link allows us to share thoughts. I think we can block some and project others, not sure how.
“Fascinating,” Janine projects. “Thanks for sharing, but I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”
I sense the difference when I receive her thoughts as opposed to her spoken words. I try to decide how to calm her without revealing too much.
“I feel crushing pain, Belle. How can I help?” Internal thoughts.
Just by being here. I sense her blood pressure drop and calmness return to her thoughts. This intimacy reminds me of twins I once knew. Reading Janine’s thoughts, I feel for the first time that I’m not alone; feel it deep within my chest.
“I feel the same,” Janine thinks. “I wish we could do this all the time.”
So do I, but I’m convinced Sam is monitoring us. We continue in this vein for a long time, savoring the bond as much as the thoughts. When I sever the link, the tech returns, which confirms that we weren’t alone. Now what can I do for Mom?
“Sam will meet you for dinner,” Camilla says, showing us out.
* * *
I sit across from Sam and hold my trembling hands beneath the table. I’m starved, but it doesn’t look like I’ll be eating. “Did you catch those boys?” I smile, widening my eyes.
Sam scowls. “We’re after something more cunning than boys.”
“What?” Janine scoops up a spoonful of thick chicken stew.
“The Underground Railroad, modeled after the one during the first Civil War. They traffic in moving males over the border. They’ve been dormant for a year. Now they’re using sophisticated techniques to circumvent our surveillance.”
“You won’t let them get away, will you?” Janine looks worried, for all the wrong reasons.
“Not if I can help it.” This doesn’t sound like the same confident Sam who faced off against Dara. It gives me hope.
“If I were a mech–”
I stomp on Janine’s foot, expecting her to yell. She doesn’t.
Instead, she turns to me. “But I haven’t even been admitted to the training program.”
“Eat up.” Sam gazes at me. “Trust me; it tastes better than what you’ll get in town.”
I keep my hands from trembling long enough to get a bite. It’s quite tasty, salt and something that tingles my taste buds. This wasn’t available during the week. Only the best for mech warriors who put their lives on the line. Is this another fringe benefit? Ah, goodies for the privileged few. My hands shake.
“You okay?” Sam asks.
I nod. I’m so self-conscious, I can’t eat. “I overdid it in the simulator.”
“So I hear.”
“Did you learn anything from our com-link session?”
Sam’s eyes narrow. “You asked for a private session. Those aren’t monitored or recorded. We use them when we have two recruits or warriors with difficulty communicating.”
I’m still not convinced.
“Did it work for you?” Sam asks.
“It was terrific,” Janine says.
I bump her leg: say no more. Wish we had thought-sharing now. I’m playing a cat and mouse game with Sam. I’m the mouse, and Janine’s what? I’m afraid to think–the bait?
After dinner, I take Janine to the VR room and have Camilla set us up to review fights. I let Janine experience the same arena fights I do with sensory detail, in a vain hope it will discourage her. I’m shocked by the intensity. Unlike broadcast and promo videos, VR puts us into the fight. These warriors-to-be are so well trained, I’m not sure even Dara could defeat them.
They face huge muscle-men on steroids trained to kill, and whose only salvation is to win, at least for the day. Even though I’m not in the arena, I feel the terror. I hope this gives Janine second thoughts. It’s so intense I’m surprised most of the girls win.
When a brute charges toward me like a bull, I break the connection. I’ve had enough. I crawl out of the VR booth to find Janine going strong. She grunts as she imagines herself in the fight. Camilla stands by a screen and monitors the session. “Blood pressure is strong. Pulse is racing as expected.”
I watch the brute grab the recruit, Janine, and throw her onto her back. She refuses to cave as the brute crushes her throat. Feeling ill, I terminate Janine’s session. Not all the girls win. Trust Janine to get one who doesn’t. That should change her mind.
Janine’s pretty face is ashen when I pull her from the VR booth. She falls into my arms, whimpering, trembling, and looks up at me with flooded eyes. “You don’t have to do this.”
I do, unless I get my restaurant.
* * *
Janine and I train on Sunday, and then we both go home. I have to get away from the base before another tough week, and she needs to get her head back into school. I park my cycle in the garage next to Mom’s car and sigh in relief. Janine dismounts and rushes into the great room. By the time I enter, Janine is in hysterics, with Mama Grace and Mama Helen holding her. Mom?
Mama Grace takes me in her chubby arms before I can reach Mom’s office. “She’s okay. She’s resting. Don’t disturb her.”
I don’t see any sisters downstairs, not even Sarah, who often reads in the corner with Helen.
“The girls are in their rooms,” Mama Helen says. “We’ve had a scare, what with all those boys loose. Best you two go to your room for the night.”
Though I need a week’s worth of rest, I have to see Mom. Not with Janine. I lead my sister upstairs, trying to act calm. “I’m sure she’s fine. You can talk to her in the morning.”
When we reach our bedroom, Sarah is sitting on her bed, reading her touch-screen. “Why do we have to stay in our rooms?”
I give Sarah a hug. “We’re home now, kiddo. You’re safe.”
“I want to see Robin and Kelly. It’s not fair.”
Sarah hasn’t thought to sneak down the hall to visit her sisters. She’s not rebellious like me. “I’m sure tomorrow will be fine.”
Sarah buries her head in her pillow and pretends to have a fit now that she has an audience. Janine jumps into the suite bathroom before I can. I take the opportunity to slip out of the room and down the pastel-flowered hall to Mom’s room.
I ease the door open, no squeak, and enter the bedroom, guided only by a nightlight. I climb into bed next to Mom. Once my eyes adjust, I study her weathered face. I don’t see any wounds, but then it’s too dark to see bruising. I’ve imagined Mom in a fight, or tortured. I can’t hold back my tears.
Mom opens her dark eyes. “Belle?”
I feel her warm breath on my cheek and the sour odor of fear.
“I know, Mom. I was in Sam’s control room when your image came up.”
“Oh, dear. Did Janine see?”
“Mom! That’s the least of your worries. I can’t lose you. I can’t. And neither can she. I know your work is important, but you must stop. Promise me.”
“I’m sorry, Belle. It’s getting harder.”
“I shouldn’t have brought Morgan home. I didn’t know what else to do.”
Mom strokes my face. “You did fine, Belle. Morgan’s a good boy, smart, with lots of heart. Reminds me a bit of George.”
“Me, too, Mom.”
“Before you brought him, I was trying to connect with him. He’d put out feelers that he had a way to get boys out of that school.”
“You’re kidding, Mom. Seriously?”
Mom smiles. “Of all the boys you could have brought, of all the places you could have brought him, you brought him here. I was upset because I never wanted you involved.”
“Involved, Mom. If I lose you I’ll declare war on the Federal Union. I swear.”
“Promise me you won’t. Janine and Sarah need you.”
“Then stop,” I say. “You’ve done enough.”
“I can’t, Belle. When I see injustice I have to act. No one else will.”
“I know. I’m so proud of you, but I’ve already lost one mom. They have your image. Even though it’s fuzzy, if they post, someone will recognize you.”
“There’s nothing more I can do right now. The boys are safe for the moment.”
“Where’s Morgan?” I ask.
“Best you don’t know. He told me again to thank you.”
I sigh. What would it be like to hold him? Then I tell Mom about Brad. “He was with Morgan and mentioned a woman. I assume it was you. I pray they can’t identify you.”
Mom nods. “We caught up with him, but his friend didn’t make it.”
“I know.” I take a deep breath. “Being in mechs, they expect me to help catch boys, not to free them.”
“Go to Janine before she suspects.”