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Monday, September 10, 2001
After eating lunch at a nearby restaurant, Ken returned to the office. He sat in front of his computer and stared at the screen. All morning, he’d tweaked the human resources software he’d been working on for a couple of weeks, but he hadn’t made much progress. He kept getting stuck on the same lines of code. He couldn’t focus. No matter what he did, his mind conjured images of Tommy or replayed the scene from last Thursday.
He tapped his fingers on the desktop, remembering what his friend wanted to do to him just a few feet away between his PC and the paperclip holder. He closed his eyes, picturing Tommy’s lips wrapping around his cock. Why didn’t he just ask for me to reciprocate? I’d have blown him. He shocked me. I didn’t mean to hurt him.
As he rubbed his forefinger and thumb together, recalling the texture of his husband’s golden hair, his cock swelled beneath the zipper of his trousers. Even after a heavy lunch, his stomach seemed hollow. He clenched his abdominal muscles while fiddling with one of the buttons on his shirt.
As much as he hated to admit it, when his partner was away, time at the office moved a lot slower. The whole world was darker and less fun without him. He glanced at his phone. While he stared at the buttons, he drummed his fingers against his desk, his heart tightening as an aching emptiness spread across his chest.
Damn it. He lifted the receiver and dialed his husband’s cell phone number. It rang twice before he answered. “What’s up?”
“Hhhi.” Ken’s voice cracked, and he rolled his eyes, his cheeks flushing.
“Is everything okay? Is it Trish or the baby?” Tommy sounded as if he were approaching panic mode.
He stiffened as he knitted his eyebrows. “No. Why would you think that?”
“You never call me when I’m out of town unless there’s a problem.” His voice was low as if someone else might be in the room. “What do you need?”
“What do you mean? I don’t need anything. I just wanted to talk to you.”
He laughed. “Since when do you ever want to talk?”
“I just thought...I guess I wanted to say hi.”
“Hi? You’re freaking me out. What’s really going on?”
“Why is it so hard to believe I’d call just to talk to you?”
“This side of the fence is mine, Ken. I can do my job. I don’t need you to talk me through it.”
“I know that. Why is it so hard to believe I’d call to chat?”
“Why would it be hard to believe Trish could win an Olympic gold medal for a balance beam routine?”
“Pfft.” Ken couldn’t help laughing. “She’d bust her ass just trying to climb on the apparatus.”
“Exactly. If you don’t have anything pressing for me...I’m at work here. I need to go.”
“Geez! I wanted to hear your voice.”
A deafening silence hung over the line. “Oh, my God. Did Trish put you up to making this call?”
“No!”
“She did! Don’t try to play me. It’s hurtful and embarrassing. I have work to do. Don’t forget to pick me up at the airport at ten tomorrow.”
“Tommy!” He called his friend’s name a couple more times, but he’d hung up. Is it really so hard for him to believe I missed him?
The phone in Tommy’s hand seemed heavier than usual as he stood out in the hospital corridor. He was glad he’d stepped out of the computer lab before he took the call, but the nurse staring at him from her nearby station brought a burning blush to his face. Good grief.
He considered calling his wife, but if she didn’t tell Ken to call, she’d get worried they were fighting. If she did put Ken up to calling, what the hell was he supposed to do about it? Scold her? Yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. Not only would she be furious, she’d convincingly explain why she was right. Then he’d feel more of a fool.
He wanted to hear my voice? What kind of bullshit is that? It didn’t even sound right coming from his mouth.
He put his phone in his pocket and returned to the computer lab. The hospital’s director of information technology was overseeing installation of the software Ken had developed. A lot of doctors had admissions privileges at the medical center so if things went smoothly, he would have a lot of private practice leads to follow-up on in the weeks to come.
The idea of traveling to the east coast more often didn’t appeal to him, but growing the business he, Ken and Trisha had forged with the force of their own wills did. Providing for their baby did too. Their baby. His stomach did a somersault. He’d been feeling guilty as hell for denouncing Todd as his son the other night. How could I have thought that way? Todd’s an innocent baby who hasn’t even had a chance to be born yet. I’m not going to turn my back on him or his bonehead biological father just because Ken behaved like a major dick.
“So how’s it going?” Tommy asked, painting on a professional smile.
Director Grouper lifted his head, prying his gaze from the computer screen. The older man was balding, and his named suited him due to his fish lips and wide-set eyes, but he was a nice enough fellow. “So far, we’ve got sixty percent of the hospital upgraded.”
“Excellent!” He rubbed his hands together. “We’re right on track. How many people will be participating in my tutorial?”
* * * *
TRISHA CHECKED HER watch as she made her sixth lap down the hallway, through the living room, into the kitchen and back to where she started. Even in September, San Antonio was still too warm for her to walk outdoors, but the doctor wanted her to stay in condition. Jennifer Lopez’s I’m Real remix with JaRule played on the stereo as she waddled along. The lyrics crooned, “And when I’m feeling sexy, who’s going to comfort me. My only problem is their insecurity.”
She huffed. “Isn’t that the damn truth.” She glanced at the time again. She still had a couple of minutes until she’d done her due diligence. She couldn’t move very fast, but her heart rate was up, and she had started to sweat. As she rounded the corner into the kitchen, Ms. Lopez’s song ended.
A radio announcer went on about some boring crap she tuned out until the music came back. As Destiny’s Child sung Bootylicious, she managed to put a spring in her step.
“Yes! Time’s up!” She walked to the bathroom and then used a hand towel to dab at her face while looking in the mirror. She turned sideways, staring at her reflection. “I’m huge!” She rubbed her protruding belly over her t-shirt. “Love you, sweetheart.”
The phone rang so she went to her bedroom to answer it. She smiled as she lifted the receiver, expecting to hear Tommy’s voice. When he was out of town, he usually called her about this time every day. “Hey, you.”
“Hey to you too.”
She recognized her mother’s high-pitched voice and frowned. Nothing good could come of this phone call. She considered hanging up, but her mom would just call back, and if she didn’t answer, she’d say horrible things on her answering machine. “Hi, mom.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Tired and hot.”
“Well, no one said you had to run off to Texas.”
Trisha rolled her eyes. “It’s pretty warm in South Carolina this time of year too.”
“Not like it is in southwest Texas.” She held back the sigh stuck in her throat. Her mother would find something to argue about no matter how trivial. It was best to steer the conversation towards the woman’s narcissistic leanings and away from any of Trisha’s personal business. “So how are you doing?”
“I’d be doing a lot better if my only daughter weren’t giving birth to my only grandchild halfway across the country.”
“Sorry about that.” She plopped down on the bed, losing any energy she had on reserve. “Todd isn’t expected for another six weeks. There’s plenty of time for you to plan a visit.” She crossed her fingers, hoping her mother wouldn’t come.
“Well, maybe I will. Is your father going out there?”
She reclined on the mattress, looking up at the ceiling and bracing herself as she answered. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Is he bringing his whore?”
She bit down on her bottom lip. She liked her dad’s wife of four years. Gina had always been kind to her, and she hadn’t even met Trisha’s dad until long after her parents’ divorce. In fact, Trisha’s mom had been remarried for years before her dad and Gina got together. “I’m not sure if his wife is coming,” she lied.
“I see. You’re not sure.” Her mother’s tone and emphasis made it clear she didn’t believe her.
“What difference does it make, either way, mama?”
“Well, for starters, it’s bad enough that my daughter’s giving birth to a half-breed bas—“
“Mom, don’t you dare!”
“Well, I’m just saying. I honestly don’t know why that handsome, blondie still wants to be with you after you slept with his oriental friend.” She cringed as her mother used oriental in place of Asian. No matter how many times she corrected her, the woman wouldn’t stop. She had to be doing it on purpose.
“I can’t win with you. First, you’re mad that I moved away, and now you’re too humiliated to be near me.”
“I’m glad you understand you’re at fault.”
Tears burned Trisha’s eyes and wet her cheeks. I don’t need this right now. “Mom, I’m not feeling very well. I have to go.”
“Fine, fine, run away again.” Her mother’s voice held more disdain than she could bear.
“Bye, Mama.” She cradled the receiver.
No sooner than she had hung up, the phone rang again. Is she serious? Trisha wiped her face with her hand. She debated letting it ring, but there was no telling how that crazy woman would react if she was ignored. She grabbed the receiver. “I’m not up for this.”
“Aw, but I haven’t even asked you what you’re wearing yet.”
She grinned and laughed as Tommy’s voice chased away all the pain. “Hey, you!”
“What’s wrong? You sounded sad when you answered.”
“It was nothing.”
“Didn’t sound like nothing. Come on. Tell me the truth.”
“A call from my mom.”
“Ugh...nuff said. I’m sorry.”
Fresh tears filled her eyes. “She was so hateful.”
“She’s not a nice person.”
“Hey, she likes you. It’s me and Ken she can’t stand.”
“She loves you, but she has a lot of issues. Try not to think about her.”
“Easy for you to say. Where are you anyway?”
“I just got to the hotel.”
“How was your tutorial?”
“It went well. Where are you?”
“At home.”
“Well, duh. I called you. I know you’re at home, but what part of the house?”
“Bedroom.”
“Good. Lie down.”
“Hmmm...where is this going?” She snickered.
“Hopefully somewhere good for you. Now close your eyes.”
“Huh?”
“Just do it.”
“Okay.” She reclined on the bed.
“Are they closed?”
“Yes, Sir.” She couldn’t help laughing. She and Tommy had tried the phone sex thing before, but neither of them had been able to get into it. She wasn’t sure why he thought it would be different this time.
“Remember your last dentist appointment.”
Her eyelids popped open and she lifted an eyebrow. “That’s not very sexy.”
“Shush. We both had an appointment that day, and we both got x-rays.”
“I remember.”
“Good. Think about how warm and secure it felt when the hygienist put the heavy, protective cover over your body.”
Ah, so that’s where he’s going with this. She closed her eyes again and pictured that moment. The lead-impregnated apron covered her from just under her chin all the way past her knees. It weighed her down, but he was right. There was something oddly comforting about it.”
“Now place one hand on your chest and the other just above your navel.” He paused a second. “Are you doing it?”
“Uh huh.”
“Good. Now breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.” She followed his directions. “You feel that?”
“Yeah.”
“Your chest shouldn’t be moving much. You should be able to feel your abdomen rise and fall.” He continued to give her instructions, talking her through slowing her breathing and then some muscle flex and relaxation exercise. Soon she was in tears again, but this time she was happy. He gave me exactly what I needed.
“Feel better?”
“Much.”
“Terrific. Silence punctuated his answer, but somehow she felt he had a question lingering in the air so she waited. “Did you ask Ken to call me?”
A grin spread across her face, pushing her cheeks way up. “No. Did he call you?”
“Yeah.”
Her heart skipped a beat and her tummy filled with butterflies. “About what?”
He hesitated to answer for a few seconds. “Uh, I don’t know. It was weird. He never calls unless somethings wrong, but he said he just wanted to talk—since when does someone who’s practically a mute call to shoot the breeze?”
Trisha laughed. “You’re reading too much into it.”
“You think so?”
“He misses you.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s true.” She sat up as she heard Ken unlocking the front door. “Oh, I think I hear him coming home. Do you want to talk to him?”
He began making crackling noises. “You’re breaking up, babe. I’ll let you go.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes as the connection dropped. A few minutes later, Ken entered the room and greeted her.
“Hey.”
“Good afternoon, cowboy.”
“You look pretty.”
She tilted her chin down and raised her eyebrows as she looked up at him. “I look sweaty. I was finishing my house laps when the phone rang.”
“Tommy called to check up on you?”
“Yep, right after my mom.”
His stomach dropped and his nostrils flared. He couldn’t stand Trisha’s mom, but he never said as much. “How’s dearest mommy?”
“Hmph. The same.”
“What did she say?”
She held her hands up in front of her and shook her head. “Nothing I haven’t heard before. I’m good now. Tommy talked me through it.”
Ken smiled as he stepped closer to her and rubbed the side of her cheek. “He’s pretty good at stuff like that.”
She nodded in agreement and snickered. “He has his uses.”
“I probably won’t ever know what to say after you get one of those calls, but I can take you out and feed you a steak.” He tilted his head and lifted a hand. “Yes?”
“Mexican?”
“You want a steak quesadilla; don’t you?”
“You know me so well.” She smirked.
“And all the fresh tortilla chips and salsa you can stuff down.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “You really do know me.”
“So how about it? Can I take my baby mama out for dinner?”
She scooted to the edge of the bed, and her feet dangled about a twelve inches from the floor. “Just let me shower first.”
He nodded as he reached out his hand and helped her up. One of her feet seemed to want to go one way while the other one didn’t seem nearly a sure. He stuck his hand out and placed it on her hip, steadying her. “Should I carry you there?”
She punched him on the arm. “Very funny, smart ass.”
“Honestly, I’m thinking we need wheelchair access in this joint until after you have the baby.” He led her toward the bathroom.
“Oh, ha, ha, ha. I will hit you again.”
“Of that, I have no doubt.”
Trisha ate another bite of her mole enchiladas. She had fully intended to get steak quesadilla’s, but when she saw what a patron nearby was having, a bargain had been struck—she and Ken would order both dishes and share. Once the food arrived, and she tasted the enchiladas, she more or less claimed them. If Ken cared, he hadn’t complained. “Mmm, these are so good.”
“I hope Todd likes them. I’d hate for you to get a tummy ache.” He lifted his chin and smiled at her. Trisha stared into his intense eyes. He was so handsome, and he was good to her too.
“Thanks for this.”
He shrugged. “For what? Feeding my pregnant wife?”
She laughed. “For getting me out of the house and lifting my spirits.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.” She nodded.
“Hmm, I was worried you be disappointed.”
She tilted her head as she finished chewing another bite.” Why’s that?”
“We’re seated so close to the bar. Can’t you just smell the Tequila? And here you are Margarita-less.
She touched her stomach. “You know, I haven’t really missed them. Priorities change, I guess.”
“It would seem so because I recall frozen margaritas being pretty high on your previous list.” He lifted his eyebrows as he laughed.
“You’re teasing me.” She looked at him sideways. “Hmmm, but you are too logical to do anything without expecting a certain reaction. What are you up to?”
“I might have wanted to see that rosy glow filling your cheeks right now. Your pretty pout would have been a bonus though.”
“I should kick you under the table.” She pointed her fork at him.
His eyes widened. “Please don’t.”
There was a pause in the conversation as if they were both waiting for something, and then it hit her. Tommy. If he were there, he’d be egging her on but also playing both sides. There would more laughter. Everything would feel more complete. Her heart squeezed as she glanced at Ken. They’d been seated at a round table for four, and he was staring at the empty chair between them.
He looked her way, and as soon as their lines of vision locked, he pursed his lips. To most people, Ken was unreadable, but not to Trisha.
“You miss him.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Me too.”
* * * *
SLOW TEMPO MUSIC PLAYED in the background as Tommy sat on a stool in the hotel bar. He sipped a corona to calm his nerves. He had an early flight in the morning, but he’d already packed. Hanging out in the room by himself had been driving him crazy so a drink in a lively atmosphere seemed the obvious answer. To his right, a middle-aged man, who’d already downed two shots, drank a scotch.
The man wore a well-fitting business suit with expensive leather shoes, but he had large bags under his eyes and deep wrinkles in his forehead, particularly above his nose and between his eyebrows. As the man lifted his glass, Tommy caught sight of his ring finger, taking special notice of the faint tan line where he might have recently worn a wedding band. Why wasn’t he wearing it now? Did he take it off in hopes of picking up a woman for the evening or had the removal been something recent but more permanent? Maybe his wife got lonely during all his business trips and left him for another.
An aching sensation in his stomach dug deep and carved out a hollow pit. Will that be me in a decade? My wife won’t get lonely, but she could realize she only needs the man with her now. Will I be eliminated like a business redundancy? He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it all the way back until his hand rested on the base of his skull just above his neck.
“Whoa, somebody looks wicked tense.” A leggy brunette said as she took the stool to his left. Tommy turned his attention her way, glad to have a distraction from his depressing thoughts.
He shrugged and offered her a half smile. “It’s been a long week.”
She laughed. “It’s only Monday.” She spoke with a Boston accent.
He chuckled. “I guess you got me there.”
“Katie,” she said, holding out her hand.
He shook it. “Thomas.”
“What brings you to the DC area, Tommy boy? Mind if I call you, Tommy?”
He laughed and shook his head. “No, actually, that’s what everybody calls me back home.”
“Yeah? But you don’t sound like somebody who’d be called Tommy as an adult. We do that back home though.”
“Let me guess. You’re from Boston, and you park the caah in the yaaard.”
The bartender came by, and Katie ordered a gin and tonic before answering. “That’s right, and I bet you’re a roll tide boy—Alabama.”
His jaw dropped and he shook his head. “No ma’am, Cowboys all the way.”
She smacked the counter with her hand as she howled with laughter. Oh, no. Not them! Campo’s boys didn’t have squat on the Raven’s last year, and this year, the Patriots are going to own them, Tommy.” When she smiled, he noticed a slight gap in her front teeth. She had brown eyes with saggy lids, and her straight hair was cut in a bob. She appeared to be a good fifteen years his senior, but she’d maintained her looks well and kept fit. She wore a white button-down shirt and a short, gray, pencil skirt that showed off her legs, by far her best feature.
He tilted his head to the side and scrunched his nose. “You got me there.”
“You’re nursing that beer, Tommy. Down it and order another.”
“Yeah, yeah.” He took a swig and motioned for the bartender. After ordering another as well as a second drink for Katie, he chugged down the first.”
She smacked her own empty glass down just as the bartender brought their fresh drinks. “Now that’s how it’s done!”
“He lifted his beer and she clinked her glass against it. “To new friends.”
“To new friends,” he repeated before taking a sip. He and Katie chatted a little more, mostly about sports but she spoke about politics a little as well.
She was clearly not a huge fan of George W. Bush and was incensed that he had “stolen the election.” Did you vote for Bush, Tommy? He’s a Texas boy. So are you.”
He laughed. “Bull. Bush Jr. was born in Connecticut.”
She pulled her head back as she threw up her hands. “He was governor of Texas.”
“I don’t remember who I voted for. That election was months ago.” He waved one hand as if smacking the question away.
“I won’t be mad. Just tell me.” Her ice clinked around in her glass as she brought it to her mouth.
After deciding not to egg her on, Tommy admitted, “To be honest, I betrayed my Texas heritage. I liked Gore’s five hundred billion dollar targeted tax cut platform.”
Oh, my gosh, Tommy. You’re the man.” She lifted her hand for a high five, and he slapped his palm against hers.
He gulped his beer, savoring the bitter bite as it rolled over his tongue. Katie had been the distraction he needed to clear his head, but now the alcohol was nipping at his reflexes.
“Ready for another round? My turn to buy.” She waved at the bartender, but he pressed the tips of his fingers to the palm of his other hand, giving her the timeout sign.
“No more for me. I have an early flight. I’ve gotta get to bed.”
Katie raised an eyebrow and reached into her pocket. She pulled out her hotel key card and tapped it on the bar. “We could always take this party to my room.”
His eyes widened. It wasn’t like this was the first time he’d been hit on in a bar, but his interaction with Katie had been so comfortable and non-sexual. He hadn’t thought of it as flirting. For a split second, his mind jumped to thoughts of warming hotel sheets, but he couldn’t even get his head around it. In the end, his brain was targeted on Trisha and Ken. He already had more love than any one person deserved. “I...um, I’m married.”
The man to his left laughed, jarring Tommy’s attention. “What the hell is wrong with you? You spend all this time chatting the girl up and then pussy out at the midnight hour.”
“Mind your own business,” He sneered before turning back to Katie, who also seemed a bit surprised she was being turned down. “I’m really sorry if I did or said anything that might have suggested I was looking for a date.”
She shook her head and laughed. “It’s fine. You’re a handsome man, who proudly wears his wedding band.” She nodded toward his finger. “I tried my luck, but you’re one of the good ones.”
“Have fun sleeping alone tonight, asshole.” The businessman said as Tommy cashed out with the bartender.
“I doubt you’ll be leaving here with anyone either.” He shot back at him before giving Katie a nod and then heading toward his room.
After he got in the elevator and pressed the button to take him to the correct floor, he replayed his interaction with Katie in his head. His eyes widened as he realized what a vulnerable position he had put himself in by being lonely and heading out to have a drink. What if I’d had a few more beers? I could have seriously fucked up. That was my last time visiting a bar during a business trip.
As soon as the elevator’s doors opened, he hurried to his room. After he kicked off his shoes, he took off his shirt, belt, and pants and tossed them over the back of a chair. He planned to put them back on in the morning before he went to the airport. He set the hotel alarm clock and then rang the front desk for a wake-up call just in case. Ken had taught him to always have a backup plan.
He pulled back the covers before crawling into bed. The white sheets were crisp and cool. He closed his eyes, imagining his limbs entwining with Trisha’s and Ken’s lips on his skin. His beer buzz served as a lullaby, and his consciousness gave way to a pleasant dream state.
