“Will you want me to do anything?” Ayla asked.
“I don’t know yet,” Losaduna said. “I feel, under the circumstances, that a woman should be with us. Madenia knows I am the One Who Serves the Mother, but I am a man, and she has a fear of men right now. I believe it would be very helpful if she would talk about it, and sometimes it’s easier to talk to a sympathetic stranger. People fear that someone they know will always remember the deep secrets that they reveal, and every time they see that person again, it may remind them of their pain and anger.”
“Is there anything I should not say or do?”
“You have a natural sensitivity and will know that yourself. You have a rare, natural ability for new language, too. I am genuinely amazed at how quickly you have learned to speak Losadunai, and grateful, too, for Madenia’s sake,” Losaduna said.
Ayla felt uncomfortable with his praise and glanced away. It didn’t seem especially amazing to her. “It is quite similar to Zelandonii,” she said.
He could see her discomfort and didn’t make any further issue of it. They both looked up when Solandia came in.
“Everything’s ready,” she said. “I’ll take the children and have this place prepared for you when you are through. Oh, and that reminds me, Ayla, do you mind if I take Wolf? The baby has grown so attached to him, and he keeps them all occupied.” The woman chuckled. “Who would have thought that I’d ever be asking for a wolf to come and watch my children?”
“I think it would be better if he went with you,” Ayla said. “Madenia doesn’t know Wolf.”
“Shall we go and get her, then?” Losaduna said.
As they walked together toward the dwelling space of Madenia and her mother, Ayla noticed she was taller than the man, and she recalled that her first impression of him had been that he was small and shy. She was surprised at how much her perception of him had changed. Although he was short in height, and reserved in demeanor, his sure intellect lent stature, and his quiet dignity cloaked a deep sensitivity and a strong presence.
Losaduna scratched at the stiff rawhide leather stretched between a rectangle of slender poles. The entry door was pushed outward and they were admitted by an older woman. She frowned when she saw Ayla and gave her a sour look, obviously unhappy that the stranger was there.
The woman started right in, full of bitterness and anger. “Has that man been found, yet? The one who stole my grandchildren from me, before they ever had a chance to be born.”
“Finding Charoli won’t return your grandchildren, Verdegia, and he is not my concern right now. Madenia is. How is she?” Losaduna said.
“She won’t get out of bed, and she hardly eats a thing. She won’t even talk to me. She was such a pretty child, and she was growing into a beautiful woman. She would have had no trouble finding a mate, until Charoli and his men ruined her.”
“Why do you think she is ruined?” Ayla asked.
The older woman looked at Ayla as if she were stupid. “Doesn’t this woman know anything?” Verdegia said to Losaduna, then turned to Ayla. “Madenia didn’t even have her First Rites. She is fouled, ruined. The Mother will never bless her now.”
“Don’t be too sure of that. The Mother is not so unforgiving,” the man said. “She knows the ways of Her children and has provided means, other ways to help them. Madenia can be cleansed and purified, renewed, so that she can still have her Rites of First Pleasures.”
“It won’t do any good. She refuses to have anything to do with men, not even for First Rites,” Verdegia said. “All my sons have gone to live with their mates; everyone said we didn’t have room in our cave for so many new families. Madenia is my last child, my only daughter. Ever since my man died, I have been looking forward to her bringing a mate here, having a man around to help provide for the children she would bear, my grandchildren. Now I won’t have any grandchildren living here. All because of that … that man,” she sputtered, “and no one is doing anything about it.”
“You know that Laduni is waiting to hear from Tomasi,” Losaduna said.
“Tomasi!” Verdegia spat out the name. “What good is he? It was his cave that spawned that … that man.”
“You have to give them a chance. But we don’t have to wait for them in order to help Madenia. After she is cleansed and renewed, she may change her mind about her First Rites. At least we need to try.”
“You can try, but she won’t get up,” the woman said.
“Perhaps we can encourage her,” Losaduna said. “Where is she?”
“Over there, behind the drape,” Verdegia said, pointing to an enclosed space near the stone wall.
Losaduna went to the place and pulled the drape back, admitting light into the darkened alcove. The girl on the bed put up her hand to ward off the brightness.
“Madenia, get up now,” he said. His tone was firm but gentle. She turned her face away. “Help me with her, Ayla.”
The two of them pulled her to a sitting position, then helped her to her feet. Madenia didn’t resist, but she didn’t cooperate. With one on each side, they led her out of the enclosed space, and then out of the cave. The girl didn’t seem to notice the freezing, snow-covered ground, even with bare feet. They guided her toward a large conical tent that Ayla hadn’t noticed before. It was tucked away around the side of the cave, screened by rocks and brush, and steam came from the smoke hole at the top. A strong smell of sulfur permeated the air.
After they entered, Losaduna pulled a leather covering across the opening and fastened it. They were in a small entrance space that was partitioned from the rest of the interior by heavy leather drapes, mammoth hide, Ayla thought. Although the temperature was freezing cold, it was warm inside. A double-walled tent had been erected over a hot spring, which provided the heating; but for all the steam, the walls were reasonably dry. Though some moisture collected, beading up and running down the sloping sides to the edge of the ground cloth, most of the condensation occurred on the inside of the outer wall, where the cold outside met the steamy warmth inside. The insulating air space in between was warmer, keeping the inner liner nearly dry.
Losaduna directed them to undress, and when Madenia did nothing, he told Ayla to do it for her. The young woman clutched at her clothes when Ayla attempted to remove them, staring with wide eyes at the One Who Served the Mother.
“Try to get her clothes off, but if she won’t let you, bring her in with them on,” Losaduna said, then slipped behind the heavy drape, allowing a wisp of steam to escape. Once the man left, Ayla managed to ease the girl’s clothing off, then quickly undressed herself and led Madenia to the room beyond the drape.
Clouds of steam obscured the space inside with a warm fog that blurred outlines and concealed details, but Ayla could make out a pool lined with stones beside a steaming natural hot spring. A hole connecting the two was plugged with a carved wooden stopper. On the other side of the pool, a hollowed-out log, which brought in cold water from a nearby stream, had been lifted and made to slope the wrong way, stopping the flow from entering the pool. When the billowing steam cleared for a moment, she saw that the inside of the tent was painted with animals, many of them pregnant, most of them faded from water condensation, along with enigmatic triangles, circles, trapezoids, and other geometric shapes.
Around the pools, extending not quite all the way to the wall of the tent, thick pads of felted mouflon wool had been placed on top of the ground cloth, wonderfully soft and warm under bare feet. They were marked with shapes and lines that led to the more shallow left side of the pool. Stone benches could be seen under the water, against the wall of the deeper right side. Near the back was a raised dais of earth supporting three flickering stone lamps—saucer-shaped bowls filled with melted fat with a wick of something aromatic floating in the center—that surrounded a small statue of an amply endowed woman. Ayla recognized it as a figure representing the Great Earth Mother.
A carefully laid hearth within a nearly perfect circle of round stones, almost identical in shape and size, was in front of the earthen altar. Losaduna appeared out of the steaming mist and picked up a small stick beside one of the lamps. It had a blob of dark material at one end, which he held to the flame. It caught quickly, and from the smell, Ayla knew it had been dipped in pitch. Losaduna carried the small brand, cupping the flame with his hand, to the prepared fireplace, and by lighting the tinder, started the fire. It gave off a strongly aromatic but pleasant smell that masked the odor of sulfur.
“Follow me,” he said. Then, placing his left foot on one of the wool pads between the two parallel lines, he started walking around the pool along a precisely laid-out path. Madenia shuffled along behind him, neither knowing nor caring where she put her feet, but Ayla, watching him, followed in his footsteps. They made a complete circuit of the pool and the hot spring, stepping over the cold water inlet and across a deep outlet trench. As he started around a second time, Losaduna began chanting in a singsong voice, invoking the Mother with names and titles.
“O Duna, Great Earth Mother, Great and Beneficent Provider, Great Mother of All, Original One, First Mother, She Who blesses all women, Most Compassionate Mother, hear our plea.” The man repeated the invocation over and over as they circled the water for the second time.
As he placed his left foot between the parallel lines of the starting mat to begin the third circle, he had reached “Most Compassionate Mother, hear our plea,” but instead of repeating, he continued with, “O Duna, Great Earth Mother, one of Your own has been harmed. One of Your own has been violated. One of Your own must be cleansed and purified to receive Your blessing. Great and Beneficent Provider, one of Your own needs Your help. She must be healed. She must be mended. Renew her, Great Mother of All, and help her to know the joy of Your Gifts. Help her, Original One, to know Your Rites of First Pleasures. Help her, First Mother, to receive Your Blessing. Most Compassionate Mother, help Madenia, daughter of Verdegia, child of the Losadunai, the Earth’s Children who live near the high mountains.”
Ayla was moved and fascinated by the words and the ceremony and she thought she noticed signs of interest in Madenia, which pleased her. After completing the third circuit, Losaduna led them, again with carefully placed steps as he continued his plea, to the earthen altar where the three lamps burned around the small Mother figure, the dunai. Beside another lamp was a knifelike object, carved out of bone. It was fairly wide, double edged, with a somewhat rounded tip. He picked it up, then led them to the fireplace.
They sat down around the fire facing the pool, close together, with Madenia in the middle. The man added brown burning stones to the flames from a nearby pile. Then, from an alcove at the side of the raised platform of earth, Losaduna took a bowl. It was made of stone and probably originally had a natural bowl shape, but it had been deepened by pecking at it with a hard hammerstone. The bottom of it was blackened. He filled the bowl with water from a small waterbag that was also in the niche, added dried leaves from a small basket, and put the stone bowl directly on top of the hot coals.
Then, in a flat area of fine dry soil surrounded by wool pads, he made a mark with the bone knife. Suddenly, Ayla understood what the bone implement was. The Mamutoi had used a similar tool to make marks in the dirt, to keep track of scores and gambling counts, to plan hunting strategies, and as a storytelling knife, drawing pictures as illustrations. As Losaduna continued making marks, Ayla realized he was using the knife to help tell a story, but not one meant simply to entertain. He told it in the chanting singsong that he had used to make his plea, drawing birds to emphasize and reinforce the points he wanted to stress. Ayla soon realized that the story was an allegorical retelling of the attack on Madenia, using birds as the characters.
The young woman was definitely responding now, identifying with the young female bird he was telling about, and suddenly, with a loud sob, she began to cry. With the flat side of the drawing knife, the One Who Served the Mother wiped out the whole scene.
“It is gone! It never happened,” he said, then drew only a picture of the young bird. “She is whole again, just as she was in the beginning. With the help of the Mother, that’s what will happen to you, Madenia. It will be gone, as though it never happened.”
A minty aroma with a familiar pungency that Ayla couldn’t quite place began to fill the steamy tent. Losaduna checked the steaming water on the coal, then dipped out a cupful. “Drink this,” he said.
Madenia was caught off guard, and before she could think, or object, she downed the liquid. He scooped out another cup for Ayla and took one for himself. Then he got up and led them to the pool.
Losaduna moved into the steaming water slowly, but without hesitation. Madenia followed him and, without thinking, Ayla followed her. But when she put her foot in the water, she yanked it out again. It was hot! This water is nearly hot enough to cook with, she thought. Only by great concentration of will did she force herself to put her foot back in the water, but she stood there for some time before she could make herself take another step. Ayla had often bathed or swum in the cold waters of rivers, streams, and pools, even water so cold she broke through a film of ice, and she had washed with water warmed by a fire, but she had never stepped into hot water before.
Though Losaduna led them into the pool slowly, to allow them to get used to the heat, it took Ayla much longer to reach the stone seats. But as she went in deeper, she felt a soothing warmth penetrate. When she sat down, and the water reached her chin, she began to relax. It wasn’t so bad, once you got used to it, she thought. The heat felt good, in fact.
Once they were settled and accustomed to the water, Losaduna instructed Ayla to hold her breath and dip her head under the water. When she came up, smiling, he told Madenia to do the same. Then he submerged himself and led them out of the pool.
He walked to the draped entrance and picked up a wooden bowl that was just inside. Mounded in the bowl was a thick, pale yellowish material that resembled heavy foam. Losaduna put the bowl down in an area that was paved with close-fitting flat stones. He dipped in, took a handful of the foam, and smoothed it over his body, telling Ayla to do the same to Madenia and then herself, and not to forget their hair.
The man chanted without words while he rubbed himself with the soft slippery stuff, but Ayla had the feeling that his chanting was not so much ritual as an expression of enjoyment. She was feeling a little lightheaded, and she wondered if it might be from the decoction they had drunk.
When they were through, and had used all of the sudsy foam, Losaduna picked up the wooden bowl, walked to the pool and filled it with water, then walked back to the stone-paved area and poured it over himself, rinsing the foam away. He poured two more bowlfuls of water on himself, then brought more and poured it over Madenia, and then Ayla. The water ran off away from the pool and between the cracks of the paving stones. Then the One Who Served the Mother led them back to the hot pool, chanting wordlessly again.
As they sat and soaked, almost floating in the mineralized water, Ayla felt completely relaxed. The hot pool reminded her of the Mamutoi sweat baths, but was, perhaps, even better. When Losaduna decided they had had enough, he reached down into the deep end of the pool and removed a wooden stopper. As the water began to run out of the deep outlet trench, the man began to shout, which shocked her for a moment.
“Evil spirits, go! Cleansing waters of the Mother, take away all traces of the touch of Charoli and all of his men. Impurities, run out with the water, leave this place. When this water is gone, Madenia will be cleansed, purified. The powers of the Mother have made her as she was before!” They walked out of the water.
Not stopping for their clothes, Losaduna led them out. They were so warm from the hot water that the cold wind and the freezing ground on their bare skin felt refreshing. The few people who were out ignored them or turned their heads aside as they passed. With an unpleasant feeling, Ayla was suddenly reminded of another time when people looked directly at her but refused to see her. But this wasn’t like being cursed by the Clan. She could tell that the people really did see them. They just affected not to, more as a courtesy than a curse. The walk cooled them down quickly, and by the time they reached the ceremonial shelter, they were happy to find soft dry blankets to wrap themselves in and hot mint tea.
Ayla looked at her hands curved around the cup. They were wrinkled, but absolutely clean! When she began to comb her hair with an implement with several teeth made of bone, she noticed that her hair squeaked when she pulled it through her fingers.
“What was that soft, slippery foam?” she asked. “It cleans like soaproot, but much more thoroughly.”
“Solandia makes it,” Losaduna said. “It has something to do with wood ashes and fat, but you’ll have to ask her.”
When she finished her own, Ayla began to comb Madenia’s hair. “How do you make the water so hot?”
The man smiled. “That’s a Gift of the Mother to the Losadunai. There are several hot springs in this region. Some are used by anyone, any time, but some are more sacred. We consider this one to be the center, the one from which the others come, so it is the most sacred of all. It makes this Cave especially honored. That’s why it’s so hard for anyone to leave, but our cave is getting so crowded that a group of young people are thinking of founding a new Cave. There is a place downstream and across the river they would like, but that’s flathead territory, or very close to it, so they haven’t decided what they will do.”
Ayla nodded, feeling so warm and relaxed that she didn’t want to move. She noticed that Madenia was more relaxed, too, not as stiff and withdrawn. “What a wonderful Gift that heated water is!” Ayla said.
“It’s important that we learn to appreciate all the Mother’s Gifts,” the man said, “but especially her Gift of Pleasure.”
Madenia stiffened. “Her Gift is a lie! It is no pleasure, only pain!” It was the first time she had actually spoken. “No matter how I begged them, they wouldn’t stop. They just laughed, and when one got through, another started! I wanted to die,” she said, then heaved a sob.
Ayla got up, went over to the girl, and held her. “It was my first time, and they wouldn’t stop! They wouldn’t stop,” Madenia cried over and over. “No man will ever touch me again!”
“You have a right to be angry. You have a right to cry. It was a terrible thing they did to you. I know how you feel,” Ayla said.
The young woman pulled away. “How do you know how I feel?” she said, full of bitterness and anger.
“Once it was pain and humiliation for me, too,” Ayla said.
The young woman looked surprised, but Losaduna nodded, as though he suddenly understood something.
“Madenia,” Ayla said gently, “when I was near your age, a little younger I think, but not long after I started my moon time, I was forced, too. It was my first time. I didn’t know it was meant for Pleasure. For me it was only pain.”
“But only one man?” Madenia said.
“Only one man, but he demanded it of me many times after that, and I hated it!” Ayla said, surprised herself at the anger she still felt.
“Many times? Even after being forced the first time? Why didn’t someone stop him?” Madenia said.
“They believed it was his right. They thought I was wrong for feeling such anger and hatred, and they didn’t understand why I should feel pain. I began to wonder if there was something wrong with me. After a while, I felt no pain, but no Pleasure either. It was not done for Pleasure. It was done to humiliate me, and I never stopped hating it. But … I stopped caring. Something wonderful happened, and no matter what he did, I thought about something else, something happy, and I ignored him. When he couldn’t make me feel anything, not even anger, I think he felt humiliated, and he finally stopped. But I didn’t ever want a man to touch me again.”
“No man will ever touch me again!” Madenia said.
“All men are not like Charoli and his band, Madenia. Some are like Jondalar. He was the one who taught me the joy and the Pleasure of the Mother’s Gift, and I promise you, it is a wonderful Gift. Give yourself a chance to meet a man like Jondalar, and you will learn the joy, too.”
Madenia shook her head. “No! No! It is terrible!”
“I know it was terrible. Even the best Gifts can be misused, and the good turned to evil. But someday you will want to be a mother, and you will never be a mother, Madenia, if you don’t share the Mother’s Gift with a man,” Ayla said.
Madenia was crying, her face wet with tears. “Don’t say that. I don’t want to hear that.”
“I know you don’t, but it’s true. Don’t let Charoli spoil the good for you. Don’t let him take away your chance to be a mother. Have your First Rites so you can learn that it doesn’t have to be terrible. I finally learned, though there was no gathering and no ceremony to celebrate it. The Mother found a way to give me that joy. She sent me Jondalar. The Gift is more than Pleasures, Madenia, much more, if it is shared with caring, and love. If the pain I had the first time was the price I had to pay, I would gladly pay it many times for the love I have known. You have suffered so much, maybe the Mother will give you someone special, too, if you give Her a chance. Just think about it, Madenia. Don’t say no until you think about it.”
Ayla woke up feeling more rested and refreshed than she could ever remember. She smiled lazily to herself and reached for Jondalar, but he was up and gone already. She felt a moment of disappointment, then remembered that he had awakened her to remind her that he was going hunting with Laduni and some of the hunters, and to ask her again if she wanted to join them. She had declined the same offer made the evening before because she had other plans for the day, and she had stayed in bed enjoying the rare luxury of snuggling back into the warm furs.
This time she decided to get up. She stretched and ran her hands through her hair, delighting in the silky softness of it. Solandia had promised to tell her how to make the foamy lather that made her feel so clean and her hair so soft.
Breakfast was the same food they’d eaten ever since they arrived, a broth with reconstituted pieces of a dried freshwater fish, netted earlier in the year from the Great Mother River.
Jondalar had told her that the Cave was low on supplies, which was why they were going hunting, though it wasn’t meat or fish that most people craved. They weren’t starving, or even lacking food—they had enough to eat—but it was so close to the end of winter that the variety was limited. Everyone was tired of dried meat and dried fish. Even fresh meat would be a change, though it wouldn’t satisfy completely. They were hungry for the greens and shoots of vegetables, and new fruits, the first products of spring. Ayla had made a foray into the area around the cave, but the Losadunai had been out all season and it was picked clean. They still had a reasonable supply of fat left, which kept them from protein starvation and supplied enough calories to keep them healthy, though it was usually added to the soups that were made for later meals.
The feast that was to be part of the Mother Ceremony the next day would be a limited one. Ayla had already decided to contribute the last of her salt, and some other herbs to season and add flavor as well as valuable nutrients; the vitamins and minerals their bodies needed, which was the primary cause of the cravings. Solandia had shown her the small supply of fermented beverages, mostly birch beer, that she said would make the occasion festive.
The woman would also be using some of her stored fat to make a new batch of soap. When Ayla voiced her concern that they would be using necessary food, Solandia said Losaduna liked to use it for ceremonies, and she claimed their soap supply was almost exhausted. While the older woman tended to her children and got everything ready, Ayla went out with Wolf to check on Whinney and Racer and spend some time with them.
Solandia went to the large opening of the cave to tell Ayla she was ready, but she stood at the mouth for a while and watched the visitor. Ayla had just returned from a gallop across the field and was laughing and playing with the animals. It occurred to the older woman, from the way Ayla behaved toward them, that the animals were like her children.
Some of the youngsters of the Cave were watching, too, including a couple of her own. They were shouting and calling to Wolf, who looked back at Ayla, obviously eager to join them but waiting for her approval. Ayla saw the woman standing at the mouth of the cave and hurried to her.
“I was hoping Wolf could keep the baby entertained,” Solandia said. “Verdegia and Madenia are coming over to help, but the process takes concentration.”
“Oh, Mother!” the eldest girl, Dosalia, said. She was one who had been trying to entice the wolf to come. “The baby always gets to play with him.”
“Well, if you want to watch the baby instead …”
The girl frowned; then she smiled. “Can we take him outside? It’s not blowing, and I’ll dress him warm.”
“I guess you can,” Solandia said.
Ayla looked down at the wolf who was looking up at her expectantly. “Watch the baby, Wolf,” she said. He yipped, seemingly in response.
“I’ve got some good mammoth fat that I rendered out last fall,” Solandia said as they walked to the area of her enclosed dwelling space. “We had good luck hunting mammoth last year. That’s why we still have so much fat, and a good thing, too. It would have been a hard winter without it. I’ve started the fat melting.” They reached the entranceway just as the children were running out, carrying the youngest. “Don’t lose Micheri’s mitts,” Solandia called out after them.
Verdegia and Madenia were already inside. “I brought some ashes,” Verdegia said. Madenia just smiled, a bit hesitantly.
Solandia was pleased to see her willing to get up out of bed and be around people again. Whatever they did at the hot spring, it seemed to have helped. “I put some cooking stones in the fire for tea. Madenia, would you make some for us?” she asked. “Then I’ll use the rest to reheat the water melting the fat.”
“Where do you want these ashes?” Verdegia asked.
“You can mix them with mine. I started them leaching, but not long ago.”
“Losaduna said you use fat and ashes,” Ayla commented.
“And water,” Solandia added.
“That seems to be a strange combination.”
“Yes, it is.”
“What made you decide to mix those things together? I mean, how did you come to make it? The first time?”
Solandia smiled. “It was really an accident. We had been hunting. I had a fire going outside in a fireplace with a deep pit, and some fat mammoth meat roasting over it. It started to rain, hard. I grabbed the meat, spit and all, and ran for cover. As soon as it let up, we headed back here to the cave, but I forgot a good wooden cooking bowl, and went back for it the next day. The fireplace was full of water, with something that looked like thick foamy scum floating on it. I would never have bothered with it, except I dropped a ladle in it and had to reach in and fish it out. I went to the stream to rinse it off. It felt smooth and slippery, like good soaproot, but more, and my hands got so clean! The ladle, too. All the grease washed off. I went back and put the foam in the bowl, and brought it back.”
“Is it that easy to make?” Ayla asked.
“No. It really isn’t. Not that it’s hard to make, but it does take some practice,” Solandia said. “The first time I was lucky. Everything must have been just right. I’ve been working with it ever since, but it still fails sometimes.”
“How do you make it? You must have developed some ways that work most of the time.”
“It’s not hard to explain. I melt clean rendered fat—any kind will work, but each one makes it a little different. I like mammoth fat best. Then I take wood ashes, mix them with warm water and let them soak for a little while. Then strain it through a mesh, or a basket with holes in the bottom. The mixture that leaches out is strong. It can sting or burn your skin, I found out. You need to rinse it off right away. Anyway, you stir the strong mixture into the fat. If you are lucky, you get a soft foam, that will clean anything, even leather.”
“But you’re not always lucky,” Verdegia said.
“No. Lots of things can go wrong. Sometimes you can stir and stir and stir, and it won’t mix. If that happens, heating it a little will sometimes help. Sometimes it separates and you get a layer that’s too strong and a layer that’s too greasy. Sometimes it curdles into lumps that are not quite mixed. Sometimes it comes out harder than others, but that’s not bad. It tends to harden as it ages, anyway.”
“But sometimes it does work, like the first time,” Ayla said.
“One thing I’ve learned is that both the fat and the liquid from the ashes have to be about the same warmth as the skin of your wrist,” Solandia said. “When you sprinkle a little on, it shouldn’t feel either cool or warm. The ash liquid is harder to tell because it’s strong and can burn a little, then you have to wash it off right away with cool water. If it burns too much, you know you need to add more water. It doesn’t burn too bad, usually, but I wouldn’t want to get it in my eyes. It can sting if you just get too close to the fumes.”
“And it can stink!” Madenia said.
“That’s true,” Solandia said. “It can stink. That’s why I usually go out into the middle of the cave to mix it, even though I get everything ready to mix here.”
“Mother! Mother! Come quick!” Solandia’s second daughter Neladia came dashing in, then ran out.
“What’s wrong? Did something happen to the baby?” the woman said, rushing out after her. Everyone else followed behind and ran to the mouth of the cave.
“Look!” Dosalia said. They all looked outside. “The baby is walking!”
There was Micheri, standing up beside the wolf, hanging on to his fur, with a big self-satisfied smile, taking unsteady steps as Wolf carefully and slowly moved forward. Everyone smiled with relief and then delight.
“Is that wolf smiling?” Solandia asked. “It looks to me as though he is. He seems to be so pleased with himself that he’s smiling.”
“I think he is, too,” Ayla said. “I have often thought he could smile.”
“It’s not only for ceremony, Ayla,” Losaduna was saying. “We often use the hot waters just to soak. If you want to take Jondalar in just to relax, we have no objections. The Sacred Waters of the Mother are like Her other Gifts to Her children. They are meant to be used and enjoyed, and appreciated. Just as this tea you made should be appreciated,” he added, holding up the cup.
Nearly the whole Cave, those that had not gone hunting, were sitting around a fireplace in the open central area of the cave. Most meals were very unstructured, except for special occasions. The people sometimes ate separately, in family groups, and sometimes with others. This time, those who had stayed at the cave had stopped for a midday meal and eaten together, largely because they were all interested in the visitors. The meal consisted of a hearty meat soup of lean, dried deer, made rich with the addition of some mammoth fat, which made it filling and satisfying enough. They were finished off with tea that Ayla had made, and all had remarked on how good it was.
“When they come back, maybe we will use the pool. I think he’d enjoy a hot soak, and I’d like to share it with him,” Ayla said.
“You’d better warn her, Losaduna,” a woman said, with a knowing smile. She had been introduced as Laduni’s mate.
“Warn me of what, Laronia?” Ayla said.
“Sometimes you have to choose between the Mother’s Gifts.”
“What do you mean?”
“She means the Sacred Waters can be too relaxing,” Solandia said.
“I still don’t understand,” Ayla said, frowning. She knew everyone was talking about the subject, and there was an element of humor involved.
“If you take Jondalar for a hot soak, it will relax the strength right out of his manhood,” Verdegia said, more direct than the others, “and it may take a couple of hours before it can stand up again. So don’t expect too much of him, after a soak. Not right away. Some men won’t soak in the Mother’s Sacred Waters for that reason. They are afraid their manhood will drain out in the Sacred Waters and never come back.”
“Can that happen?” Ayla asked, looking at Losaduna.
“Not that I’ve ever seen, or heard about,” the man said. “If anything, the opposite seems to be true. A man is more eager, after a while, but I think that’s because he’s relaxed and feels good.”
“I did feel wonderful after the hot soak, and I slept very well, but I think there was more than water to it,” Ayla said. “Perhaps the tea?”
The man smiled. “That was an important ritual. There is always more to a ceremony.”
“Well, I’m ready to go back to the Sacred Waters, but I think I’ll wait for Jondalar. Do you think the hunters will be back soon?”
“I’m sure they will,” Laronia said. “Laduni knows there are things to do before the Mother Festival tomorrow. I don’t think they would have gone today, except that he wanted to see how Jondalar’s long-range hunting weapon works. What does he call it?”
“A spear-thrower, and it works very well,” Ayla said, “but like anything, it takes practice. We’ve had lots of practice on this Journey.”
“Do you use his spear-thrower?” Madenia asked.
“I have my own,” Ayla said. “I’ve always liked to hunt.”
“Why didn’t you go with them today?” the girl asked.
“Because I wanted to learn how to make that cleansing material. And I have some clothes I want to clean and mend,” Ayla said, getting up and heading toward the ceremonial tent. Then she stopped. “I have something I’d like to show everyone, too,” she said. “Has anyone ever seen a thread-puller?” She saw puzzled looks and shaking heads. “If you wait here a moment, I’ll get mine and show you.”
Ayla returned from the dwelling space with her sewing kit and some clothing she wanted to repair. With everyone crowded around to see yet another amazing thing brought by the travelers, she took a small cylinder out of her kit—it had come from the lightweight, hollow leg of a bird—and shook two ivory needles out of it. She handed one to Solandia.
The woman examined the highly polished miniature shaft closely. It was brought to a sharp point at one end, somewhat like an awl. The other end was a bit thicker and, surprisingly, had a very small hole that went all the way through. She thought about it, and suddenly got an inkling of what it was for. “Did you say this was a thread-puller?” she said, handing it to Laronia.
“Yes. I’ll show you how I use it,” Ayla said, separating a thin piece of sinew from a fibrous thicker strand. She wet the end and smoothed it to a point, then waited for it to dry. The thread of tendon hardened slightly and held its shape. She threaded it through the hole at the back end of the tiny ivory shaft, then put it aside for the moment. Next she picked up a small flint tool with a sharp point and used it to poke holes near the edges of a garment whose stitches along a side seam had pulled out, a few of them tearing through the leather in the process. The new holes were back slightly from the previous ones.
Once she had made the holes for a new seam, Ayla settled down to demonstrate the new implement. She put the point of the ivory needle through the holes in the leather and, grasping the small shaft, pulled the thread through, ending with a flourish.
“Oooh!” The people seated nearby, especially the women, breathed out a collective sigh. “Look at that!” “She didn’t have to pick the thread out, she pulled it right through.” “Can I try that?”
Ayla passed the garment around and let them experiment, explaining and showing, and telling them how the idea had come to her, and how everyone at Lion Camp had helped her to develop and make it.
“This is a very well-made awl,” Solandia commented, examining it closely.
“Wymez, of the Lion Camp, made it. He also made the borer that was used to make the hole that the thread goes through,” Ayla said.
“That would be a very difficult tool to make,” Losaduna said.
“Jondalar says Wymez is the only flint knapper he’s ever met who is as good as Dalanar, and, possibly, a little better.”
“That’s high praise from him,” Losaduna said. “Everyone acknowledges Dalanar as the master stoneworker. His skill is known even on this side of the glacier, among the Losadunai.”
“But Wymez is also a master.”
They all turned in surprise at the sound of the voice that had just spoken, and saw Jondalar, Laduni, and several others coming into the cave, bringing with them an ibex they had killed.
“You had luck!” Verdegia said. “And if no one minds, I’d like to have the skin. I’ve been wanting some ibex wool to make bedding for Madenia’s Matrimonial.” She wanted to get her bid in before anyone else.
“Mother!” Madenia said, embarrassed. “How can you talk about a Matrimonial?”
“Madenia must have First Rites before any Matrimonial can be considered,” Losaduna said.
“As far as I’m concerned, she can have the hide,” Laronia said, “whatever she wants to use it for.” She knew there was a touch of avarice in Verdegia’s request. They didn’t often hunt the elusive wild goat, and its wool was rare and therefore valuable, particularly in late winter after a whole season of growing thick and dense, but before the shedding of spring gave it a tattered look.
“I don’t care either. Verdegia can have it,” Solandia said. “Fresh ibex meat will be a welcome change no matter who gets the hide, and especially nice for the Mother Festival.”
Several others acquiesced, and no one objected. Verdegia smiled and tried not to look smug. By laying claim first, she had secured the valuable hide, just as she had hoped.
“Fresh ibex will be good with the dried onion I brought, and I have blueberries, too.”
Again everyone looked toward the mouth of the cave. Ayla saw a young woman she hadn’t met before, carrying a baby and leading a little girl by the hand, followed by a young man.
“Filonia!” several people chorused.
Laronia and Laduni rushed toward her, joined by all the rest of the Cave. The young woman was obviously not a stranger here. After happy hugs of greeting, Laronia took the baby, and Laduni picked up the little girl, who had run toward him, and put her up on his shoulders. She looked down at everyone with a pleased grin.
Jondalar was standing beside Ayla, smiling at the happy scene. “That girl could be my sister!” he said.
“Filonia, look who’s here,” Laduni said, leading the young woman toward them.
“Jondalar? Is it you?” she said, looking at him with shocked surprise. “I didn’t think you’d ever come back. Where’s Thonolan? There is someone I want him to meet!”
“I’m sorry, Filonia. He walks the next world now,” Jondalar said.
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. I wanted him to meet Thonolia. I’m sure she’s the child of his spirit.”
“I am sure, too. She looks just like my sister, and they were both born to the same hearth. I wish my mother could see her, but I think it will please her to know that there is something left of him in this world, a child of his spirit,” Jondalar said.
The young woman noticed Ayla. “But you didn’t return alone,” she said.
“No, he didn’t,” Laduni said, “and wait until you see some of his other traveling companions. You won’t believe it.”
“And you came at just the right time. We’re having a Mother Festival tomorrow,” Laronia said.