CHAPTER 2
A knock on the door on Monday afternoon startled Rachel from her quilting. She’d hoped to finish this quillow and get started on the next one before the Green Valley Farmer’s Market opened tomorrow. She’d already completed the quilt that folded into the pillow and only needed to quilt the small design on the square pillow top.
Reluctantly, she tucked her needle into the fabric so she wouldn’t lose it and headed for the door.
“Miriam?” She opened the door and stepped back so Josh’s mamm could enter. “How are you? Are you here to visit Mamm?” Her mother had just gone down for another nap, but Rachel could wake her for this unexpected visitor.
“Actually, dear, I’ve come to talk to you, but I’ll look in on your mamm if she’s awake.”
Me? What would Miriam need to discuss with me? Rachel’s heart clenched. Had something happened to Josh?
Rachel had been standing there with the door open, but she hadn’t actually invited Miriam inside. “Kumme in. Mamm’s asleep, but we can talk in the living room so we don’t disturb her.”
Miriam followed Rachel into the living room. Rachel gathered up the quilt part of the quillow, which she’d left spread out on the couch.
“That’s beautiful, dear.” Miriam picked up the quilt end and admired it. “What I wouldn’t give to be able to make such tiny, straight stitches. My mamm despaired of me ever making a quilt fit to use. She used to say I’d never make a proper wife.”
“But you’re such a good wife and a wonderful cook. And you raised four fine boys.” Heat splashed onto Rachel’s cheeks as one in particular came to mind. She hoped Miriam would think Rachel’s flushed face came from the compliment on her sewing.
Josh’s mother laughed. “If I stayed around you for long, I’d be asking God for forgiveness for pride.” Her eyes twinkled. “It’s a good thing my Ephraim didn’t care about my quilting skills.”
Miriam bustled over to a nearby chair. “Feel free to keep sewing. I know you need to get your quillows to the market tomorrow. It wonders me that you’ve been able to support your mamm since you turned fourteen.”
Talk about hochmut. If Miriam stayed much longer, they’d both end up puffed with pride. Rachel giggled inside at the thought.
“It’s so nice to see your smile.” Miriam beamed. “I won’t take much of your time. Although I do miss our long-ago chats. It was nice to have a girl around with a houseful of boys.”
She gazed at Rachel with such fondness, Rachel’s chest ached. She’d forgotten how much love a mamm’s smile could hold. It had been so long since her own mamm had been able to give anyone a genuine smile. Most days, all she could manage were clenched-teeth grimaces that matched her pain-filled eyes.
Miriam settled back in the chair. Rachel put down her sewing to concentrate on her guest, but Miriam waved to the quillow as if encouraging her to continue. Rachel picked up her needle and bent her head over her work. That was easier than meeting Miriam’s searching gaze. Could Josh’s mamm sense Rachel longed to ask about him?
Perhaps his mother had read Rachel’s thoughts, because Miriam went straight to the topic of her son. “Josh talked to me about you yesterday.”
Rachel’s head shot up, and she pricked her finger with the needle. She quickly raised the finger to her lips to prevent a blood smear on the fabric.
“He wondered if you minded missing out on the youth activities. And I told him, ‘Of course, she does.’ I don’t know why it never occurred to any of us to sit with your mamm so you could go.”
A burning sensation began in Rachel’s chest and spread through her. Josh cared enough to want to include her. It didn’t change the fact that he was courting, but at least, he’d thought about her as a friend.
“Anyway, I came to apologize for not doing this sooner. I’ll be over this Saturday so you can play in the volleyball game. And from now on, I’ll come whenever the youngie have events.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Rachel couldn’t expect Miriam to care for Mamm every time. “I-I, um, often have to work anyway.”
“Well, we can figure that out. But I’ll be here an hour or so before the game on Saturday, so you have time to talk with your friends before you start playing.” Miriam stood. “You don’t have to see me out. I’ll peek in on your mamm before I go.”
“But—but . . .”
Miriam held up a hand. “I won’t take neh for an answer. It’s time you had a chance to join your friends and have fun. You work much too hard. Besides, I miss talking to Betty. It’ll be a joy to spend time with her.”
Before Rachel could protest any further, Miriam walked down the hallway to Mamm’s room, eased the door open, and peeked inside. Seeing Mamm was still asleep, Miriam shut the door quietly and left.
As much as she disliked letting others carry her burdens, Rachel was thrilled to be able to play volleyball. But she hadn’t played in years. Would she be any help to the team?
She pushed that worry aside and concentrated on the most important part of Miriam’s conversation. All this had been Josh’s idea. Did he still care for her—as a friend, of course?
* * *
“I’m ready to go, Josh,” his mamm called upstairs almost two hours before the Saturday volleyball game began.
“Why do you want to leave so early?” he projected his voice so she could hear him.
“Rachel might like to spend time talking to her friends before the game.”
Josh shook his head as he descended the stairs. That might be true if she had any friends. The thought made him sad. He’d been a terrible friend.
But if Rachel left this soon, she’d arrive at a deserted field. That wouldn’t make her feel accepted or a part of things. Although, if the boys knew she’d be there, they’d show up early too.
“Nobody will be at the field.” Did Mamm tell Rachel the wrong time? “Does she know what time the game starts?”
“Jah, she does. I promised to be there an hour or so ahead of time. I don’t want her to worry I won’t show up. Rachel’s eyes lit up when I mentioned volleyball, so I expect she’ll be eager to go.”
A warm glow filled Josh. He was so glad he’d suggested Mamm should stay with Betty. Rachel deserved to have fun. It couldn’t be easy to take care of her mamm all day, every day.
He often wondered if the barn fire had caused Betty Glick’s rapid decline in her health. Before Tom’s funeral, she’d been getting around with a cane. Within a few weeks, she’d gone downhill fast. Soon, she couldn’t get out of bed.
When Mamm yelled for him again, Josh bounded down the stairs. He entered the kitchen, where she was pulling food from the refrigerator. After he’d hitched up the horse, Mamm came out with a casserole dish she held on her lap and asked him to load the tote bag filled with several other casseroles and a pie.
They rode in silence until Mamm said, “You know, Josh, since we’ll already be at the Glicks’, you could offer to take Rachel to the game.”
“Mamm!” That wouldn’t be appropriate. “I’m courting Anna Mary.” He had no doubt Anna Mary wouldn’t appreciate him doing that, even if he only did it to be neighborly.
“But Anna Mary’s at work, and she’ll be coming with Caroline.”
How did Mamm know that? She wasn’t usually into all the gossiping the community did.
Mamm continued, “You’ll be coming back after the game to pick me up. Why not drop Rachel off at the same time?”
“It wouldn’t be right. Besides, Anna Mary will be riding home with me.”
“I see.” His mamm made a slight face. If Josh hadn’t glanced at her right at that moment, he never would have noticed. What was that about? Did she not like Anna Mary? Mamm hadn’t said anything negative about his girlfriend. But now that he thought about it, his mother had never said anything positive either.
It also was odd Mamm had asked him to drop her off instead of taking her own buggy. Had she been planning to throw him and Rachel together? And send them to the field more than an hour early? Not only that, but was Mamm trying to cut his evening short with Anna Mary by having Rachel come along? Even if Rachel drove herself, Mamm would know when the games had ended, so she’d expect Josh to pick her up shortly after. That would prevent him and Anna Mary from taking the long way home.
From Mamm’s sigh, she’d been hoping he’d take Rachel. Mamm had never understood why he and Rachel had stopped spending time together. But to interfere with his life like this was so out of character for her. And he’d never known his mother to be underhanded or manipulative.
Her mouth pinched in disappointment. “I just thought Rachel could use some company when she gets to the field for the first time.”
His heart went out to Rachel. He disliked the way the other girls left her out. To lessen his guilt, he reminded himself Rachel was rarely alone. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. She’s usually in the center of a crowd.”
“Josh!”
His mamm’s sharp rebuke startled him. She was so even-tempered, she rarely got upset.
“You know as well as I do, Rachel doesn’t like being surrounded by all those boys. I thought maybe”—her voice quavered—“you could protect her from them. You used to take care of her when you were younger.”
Why did Mamm have to remind him of that? Josh pushed those old memories to the back of his mind, but he couldn’t erase present-day ones. He knew Rachel better than anyone in their g’may, except for her mother, so he could tell it distressed Rachel to be the center of the boys’ attention. He often berated himself for ignoring her trapped expression.
“That’s the main reason I hoped you’d take her there early.”
“I see.” Although he didn’t understand what he could do to stop her admirers. If he were her boyfriend, they’d stop flocking around her like vultures.
Josh brought himself up short. What in the world put that idea in his head? He already had a girlfriend. Everyone at church knew that, so he’d be no deterrent to the other boys. Still, something inside him yearned to find a way to help her.
* * *
All week, Rachel’s excitement had warred with her dread. At church, they filed in to the benches in order, so girls her age sat on either side of her. And if the girls ignored her or gossiped about her after the service, Rachel busied herself in the kitchen to hide her loneliness. Singings forced her to be the center of unwanted attention. Technically, she was never alone there, although she felt like it. Meanwhile, the girls steered clear of her and whispered about her behind her back.
But at a volleyball game, she’d be on her own. She had no friends, nobody she could depend on, nobody to talk to, except her band of admirers. Would any of them be there? Or would she stand out, look like a loner? A loser?
Rachel had almost decided not to go when Josh drove into her driveway. Josh? What was he doing here?
A casserole in hand, Miriam hopped from the buggy and hurried up the driveway. Josh had only come to drop his mamm off. Rachel’s spirits plummeted.
When Miriam neared the front door, she turned and called to Josh, “Could you bring the tote bag from the back seat?”
Josh was too far away for Rachel to read his expression. Did he frown? Make a face? Resent having to come into her house?
He got out, reached for something in the back, and strode toward his mamm with a bag in his hand. Miriam waited until he caught up with her. Then they headed to the front door, and Josh knocked.
Although Rachel had moved away from the window as they approached the front door, his knock was unmistakable—firm, determined, masculine. His mamm’s the other day had been more of a tap. If a knock could stir Rachel this much, what would happen when they stood face to face?
All she wanted to do was run and hide. Good manners forced her to open the door and invite them in. She barely managed a welcoming smile by keeping her eyes focused on Miriam. “Let me take that casserole.”
As Rachel reached for the dish, she sneaked a quick glance at Josh. His smile appeared pasted on, and his eyes revealed reluctance. To carry in the bag? Or to be around her?
Miriam refused to let go of the casserole. “I’ll just take this out to the kitchen.” She sailed off, leaving Rachel and Josh in the doorway together.
Josh shuffled his feet, revealing his nervousness. “I, um, I should probably take this out too . . . if that’s all right?”
Rachel’s cheeks burned at her choked “of course.” She prayed he wouldn’t guess her clogged throat was connected to him.
He brushed past her, setting her aflame. She stood paralyzed at the door, unsure whether to close it or to leave it open to allow Josh to make a quick escape.
Before she could decide, he returned from the kitchen. “I’ll see you later.” He rushed out the door, then stopped on the doorstep. Without turning around, he added, “I’m glad you’re coming. You always were a good player.”
Rachel wondered if he was happy she’d be there because he needed someone who played well. He might be sorry if he’d been hoping for an outstanding player. She hadn’t touched a volleyball for the past five years, so her skills were rusty.
“I might not be very good. I haven’t played in a long time.”
Still keeping his back to her, he said, “I’m sure you’ll pick it up quickly.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I, um, should get going.”
Rachel’s heart sank. Her hope that they’d have a friendly conversation vanished. She shouldn’t have made so much out of a few sentences of polite chit-chat. Josh had probably dropped his mamm off early to give him extra time with Anna Mary.
Miriam popped up behind Rachel. “You know, I suggested to Josh that you could ride with him, since he has to head back here to pick me up.”
Rachel gasped. “Ach, I couldn’t do that. Isn’t Anna Mary with him? I’m sure she wouldn’t want company.” Especially not me. Anna Mary was one of the more judgmental girls in their buddy bunch. At least toward Rachel. She didn’t seem that way with others.
“Anna Mary’s coming from the market with Caroline,” Miriam assured her.
Miriam wanted Rachel to travel alone with Josh? Her heart pounded . . . with anxiety. And, if she were honest, anticipation. But she couldn’t ride with someone else’s boyfriend.
“Neh, Miriam. Danke for your thoughtful suggestion, but I’ll go on my own.”
Josh expelled a long breath. “I’ll see you both later.” He sprinted to the buggy.
“I can always count on you to do the honorable thing.” Miriam reached out and pulled Rachel into a quick hug. But Josh’s mamm sounded sad.
Part of Rachel—the part that dreamed of going back to her childhood relationship with Josh—echoed Miriam’s disappointment. But the sensible part of her breathed a sigh of relief. What would she and Josh have talked about? They’d either sit in silence or have an awkward conversation.
“Well,” Miriam said, “why don’t you head to the field? I have everything ready here.” She started down the hall to Mamm’s room, but not before Rachel glimpsed a hopeful smile.
Does Miriam want me to get there early so Josh and I can spend time together? It certainly seemed that way. Rachel had never known any parents who interfered in their children’s choices of dates. And Rachel hadn’t expected Miriam, who seemed like such a relaxed, caring, and encouraging mamm, to push Josh into a different relationship when he already had a girlfriend. It seemed so out of character.
What objections did Miriam have to the girl Josh was courting? Anna Mary had a reputation as an upright, godly young woman, who was known for her honesty, deep faith, and good deeds. The whole situation didn’t make sense—unless Rachel had misread Miriam’s intentions. Maybe it’s only wishful thinking on my part.
But if Rachel wanted to make the game on time, she needed to leave now. Miriam coming so early had been a blessing. It gave Rachel enough time to walk the six miles to the field. Her buggy had a flat tire. The metal rim had partially detached two weeks ago, and she’d repaired it with duct tape. That had gotten her home from the store, but the fix hadn’t lasted long. Since then, she’d been walking everywhere—to church, the market, and the grocery store. She had no money for repairs.
If she had friends, she could have hitched a ride with someone. But she didn’t. And she didn’t want to lead any boys on by requesting a ride. She preferred getting there on her own rather than depending on someone else’s kindness.
To be sure she arrived on time, Rachel alternated between walking and jogging. The sun beat down on her head, and after several miles of worrying about arriving red-faced and sweaty, other doubts kicked in. She fretted about sitting on the sidelines with nobody to talk to. Nor did she relish the idea of being the center of the boys’ attention. She debated skipping the game. But if she didn’t show up, Josh would mention it to his mamm.
Rachel sighed and plodded on. When she neared the field, she cut into the trees. The canopy of leaves overhead shaded her and cooled her heated cheeks. Moving down the hill toward the field, she concealed herself behind a huge oak and observed everyone without being seen.
She waited until they’d started the game to slip out and sit on the bench with the replacement players. Most of the boys who normally bothered her faced the net, their backs to her. With everyone concentrating on the ball, nobody except the person she sat beside noticed her. Not even Josh had seen her arrive.
Rachel relaxed into the invisibility . . . until an opposing player glanced her way and did a double take. He raised his eyebrows and gave her a cheeky smile. A smile that warned her he’d make a beeline for her after the game.