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Ten Things I Completely Despise (okay, strongly dislike) about Andy Kosolowski

 

1. He thinks it’s hilarious to whack defenseless young women with snowballs.

2. He’s way too tall. It’s disturbing.

3. His mission in life is to humiliate me. I still think he paid someone to fix the Senior Superlative vote.

4. And then after he humiliates me, he does something really nice like buying me two éclairs and a chai, knowing I can’t possibly stay mad at him.

5. He’s smarter than me. Okay, he’s smarter than just about everyone in the universe, so this should not make me mad. But it does. And, rumor has it, he could skip school for the rest of the year and still be a lock for valedictorian.

6. He can drive.

7. He has his own car.

8. His parents probably trust him and don’t ask him to leave notes whenever he goes out. I can’t even walk into town alone. Hello, Mother! I’m almost eighteen.

9. He doesn’t get mad. About anything. Ever.

10. He’s a hair hypocrite. He tried to fix my hair after he totally wrecked it with his snowball, yet his hair always looks like he just finished wrestling a snow blower. And the snow blower won.