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As Christian headed the carriage back toward Trowbridge Manor, he couldn’t control the strange feeling bubbling within him. Was it happiness? He’d felt the emotion so seldom that he wasn’t quite sure, but he greatly feared that it was.
Even though he knew that he’d stolen the wonderful afternoon from Andrew, that it wasn’t truly his at all, he couldn’t help but be pleased with how things had gone. Even though there had been a few rough spots — was he going to have to learn to play the piano? — the day had gone better than he ever could have imagined. He and Rebecca got along famously, and he found himself more attracted to her with every moment he spent in her company. Perhaps there was a chance he could pull this off after all.
He decided it wouldn’t be so bad to pretend to be Andrew for the rest of his life. Not if it meant he got to spend every day with this beautiful, sweet, smart, funny girl. He told himself it didn’t matter if she called him by the wrong name. He was sure he’d get used to it in time.
By the time he arrived back at the manor, he was feeling quite excited about the prospect of courting Rebecca. However, he should have known that his tenuous sense of peace couldn’t last for long.
The moment he saw Theo’s face, he knew something had gone wrong.
“Another invitation.” His uncle handed him another invitation, and once again, it was already open. A spark of irritation ran through him. Though he knew Theo considered himself fully invested in this ruse, he would like to open his own mail, make his own decisions. Theo seemed to be taking over, telling him what to do every minute of the day, which had never been his intention. He’d just wanted advice, not a puppet master.
Forcing down the emotion, he unfolded the letter and quickly scanned it. His face flushed a bit at the intimacies the woman named Miranda alluded to. There was no doubt that this was Andrew’s mistress.
With a sigh, he tossed the letter in the pile on the mantel and turned to his uncle. “I’m going to send my regrets.”
“You can’t!” Theo exclaimed. “As I told you before, Trowbridge would never turn down such an offer.”
“I’m not Trowbridge!” Christian thundered, then quickly lowered his voice, remembering that he could not be free with his words even in his own home. “If I am going to do this, I need to do it my way. I will not have a mistress. And I fear that if anyone would know the difference between me and Andrew, it will be this woman. Don’t you see? We were so lucky with Lady Rebecca. She didn’t truly know Andrew. But this woman... having any sort of contact with her will risk exposure.”
Theo sighed and shook his head. “The choice is up to you, of course. But I think you’re making a mistake.”
“I will take your opinion into consideration,” Christian said, crossing over to the writing desk in the corner.
Theo stood there for a moment longer, obviously wanting to say more about the matter.
“Is there something else?” Christian asked, taking out a fresh sheet of cream stationery.
“How was your visit with Lady Rebecca?” Theo asked, sounding anything but optimistic about the answer.
Christian leaned back in his chair and met his uncle’s eyes. “It went very well. Far better than I expected. She’s a wonderful girl.”
At last, Theo managed something resembling a smile. “That is good to hear, my boy. Very good to hear. Just think what we can do with her dowry.”
Again, Christian found himself a little annoyed with the fact that Theo seemed to think this was a partnership. But he supposed that he’d never given the man a reason to think differently. They had planned this together. However, Christian was all too aware that he was the only one taking any risk.
“Well, we don’t have it yet,” he managed to tell his uncle, reining in the urge to say more until he’d had time to think it through. He knew Theo just wanted to help, wanted to make sure Christian got everything he thought Jonathan Bradford had robbed him and his mother of. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to write this woman back and tell her I no longer have need of her services.”
“I think you’re making a mistake,” Theo said again.
“Duly noted,” Christian snapped.
With a huff of indignation, Theo left the room.
Christian shook his head in annoyance, then bit his lip and stared down at the blank sheet of paper. How did one break up with a woman he’d never even met before?
* * *
ENERGIZED BY THE AFTERNOON she’d spent with Andrew, Rebecca grabbed a shawl and went out into the back garden, finding her favorite spot at a small table she’d had set up beneath an ancient oak tree. Beneath its gnarled branches, she’d spun many a daydream.
The fact that Andrew had seemed to support her desire to breed horses was a boon she’d certainly never expected. She’d thought she’d have to hide such things from him. Sighing, she sank back in her chair, thinking back upon their outing.
She still couldn’t believe how well the conversation had flowed between them. Every time she and Andrew had ever been in the same room before, it had been stilted and uncomfortable. But now, that awkwardness was gone, replaced by an understanding that was very promising.
She pressed one fingertip to her lips, remembering the way it had felt to kiss him and couldn’t help the happy grin that spread across her face. She’d never expected that part of their relationship to be so pleasant either.
“Well, if that isn’t the grin of a girl who’s been soundly kissed, I don’t know what is,” Sabrina said as she approached.
Rebecca jumped, then looked up at her cousin guiltily.
Sabrina took the chair on the other side of the table, and a shaft of sunlight filtered down through the bare branches, making her blond hair glow like a halo. Unfortunately, Rebecca knew that Sabrina had the tenacity of a bulldog and would not let the matter rest until she spilled all.
Surprisingly, she found that she didn’t want to. Not even to the woman she considered her best friend in all the world. This thing between her and Andrew seemed too new, too fragile and beautiful to share.
Sabrina laughed. “I don’t know why you were so worried. He’s handsome and sweet. And it’s obvious that he absolutely dotes upon you.”
Rebecca shook her head. “That’s just it. None of those things were true before he left. I don’t know which of his personalities is the true one. Is he only being kind now because he wants something?”
“It’s pretty obvious that he wants something,” Sabrina said bawdily. “He couldn’t stop looking at you.”
“I look the same as I ever did,” Rebecca said with a frown.
“Well, we know that the war changed him,” Sabrina said, trying as always to make reason out of things that made no sense.
“Did it?” Rebecca shook her head, wondering if she could possibly explain her misgivings to her cousin without sounding crazy. “He is so different. Changed in ways that don’t even seem possible.”
Sabrina smiled. “I think you’re just afraid that you really like him now, after having made him out to be such a horrible person. Maybe you just never really knew him before.”
“Maybe,” Rebecca mused. “I suppose I shouldn’t question it too deeply, should I? I should just be happy about this change in him.”
“Exactly,” Sabrina replied with a laugh. “You think too much, Becca. You always have.”
Rebecca knew her cousin was right. She did have a tendency to overthink things. Maybe her fears really did stem from the fact that she’d spent the last few years planning how she’d deal with Andrew’s complete inattention, the life she’d have on her own without him. The way she’d handle his many mistresses.
She’d never made a plan for a husband who looked at her the way he had during their picnic. She’d never considered the way he’d kissed her...
Sabrina grinned. “He did kiss you, didn’t he?”
Rebecca couldn’t control her own smile. This truly was too good not to share. “He did.”
“And was it wonderful?” Sabrina asked, leaning forward with a sudden frown. “Did he try anything else? Perhaps I should have gone with you. I’m not doing very well at this chaperoning thing, am I?”
“You’re the perfect chaperone,” Rebecca assured her. “And no, he didn’t do anything but kiss me.”
Sabrina relaxed. “You only say that because I let you do anything you want.”
Rebecca sighed. “I’m a woman of twenty-one who’s been engaged for three years. I don’t need someone to watch over me as though I were a schoolgirl.”
“At least people still think you’re worth chaperoning. I’m twenty-six, and they’ve already put me out to pasture as though no man would ever be tempted to try something untoward with me.”
“Oh, Sabrina.” Rebecca frowned, realizing that her cousin was actually being serious for once. She really was sad about the fact that she’d been put on the shelf. All this time, she’d thought Sabrina loved her bluestocking life. She’d often said that she was happy with her spinster status but maybe she wasn’t.
Sabrina shook her head, frowning. “Don’t mind me. I don’t even know what I’m saying. I suppose I’m just feeling a bit sorry for myself today.”
Rebecca stood up and rounded the table, embracing her cousin tightly. “I’m sorry if I’ve been going on and on about myself. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
Hugging her back with a soft laugh, Sabrina pulled away. “I’m fine. Really. I suppose I’m just wishing that maybe I’d tried a bit harder to find a husband.”
“Really?” Rebecca was very surprised to hear her cousin say that. She’d always thought Sabrina perfectly happy with her lot in life. “What has changed your mind?”
Sabrina shrugged. “I suppose that I just want companionship and perhaps children. It’s just been becoming clearer to me as time goes on how very lonely my future may be. Maybe just seeing you with Andrew has reminded me that not all men are misogynistic idiots.”
Rebecca laughed. “Oh, Sabrina! If you wanted to find a husband, I’m sure you could still do so. You’re very beautiful, and any man would be thrilled to have you as his wife.”
Shaking her head, Sabrina pushed to her feet. “I don’t know about that! But enough about such matters. Let’s go back inside.”
“I’m going to stay,” Rebecca said. “I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I do my best thinking here.”
“All right,” Sabrina said. “But don’t stay out here too long. It’s starting to get cold.”
As her cousin left, Rebecca sank back into her chair and thought sadly of the lot of women. A lady of her status, the daughter of an earl, seemed to only have a choice between an unhappy marriage or being an unhappy spinster. Perhaps today she would let her imagination run wild and think about a happy marriage, with someone who actually understood her.