WE BELONG TOGETHER
After brunch, Chelsea and I hugged, kissed and said our goodbyes. I drove toward 580 East and exited at 35th Avenue to Kalena’s college graduation at Holy Names College. Chelsea didn’t come because she has to go to her 2nd job as a hostess at the Westside Club for the Golden State Warriors. We were all big Warriors fans. Chelsea never called in sick to work. She was also an Account Manager at AT&T in San Ramon. Kalena, Najah, and I were used to her putting her jobs before us. We had noticed that if she went to work, she didn’t need to borrow money from us. Plus, she could come to the graduation party after she got off.
I was cruising, and decided to pop in one of my mixed CDs that Jordyn made. This one’s titled NYHC Girlfriends Volume 37, and I was listening to We Belong Together by Mariah Carey. This song reminded me of Jason.
Our situation was complicated. I called him the one that got away. Right when things were going good, he disappeared. Moved away and… the pleasant ringtone again!
It was my twin.
“Hey Jordyn, what’s up?”
“Me and Pops just got back from fishing and I wanted to know if you and Derrick wanna stop by the house tomorrow for dinner. We are gonna fry these babies up after we get out of church. We are gonna have potato salad and I’m gonna make some hot water cornbread.”
“Oh, so y’all had a good fishing trip?”
“Yeah, twin, we did. But we always do. You are missing out on some true relaxation. You should start coming with us again.”
“Naw, Jordyn, that time is for you and Pops to bond. I don’t mind how we been doing it, you catch the fish, pops cleans the fish, Mama fries the fish and I eat the fish. See, everyone has a position to play.”
We laughed. Jordyn was the only hairstylist I knew that doesn’t work on Saturdays. She said it was a whole lot of living that goes on that she didn’t want to be missing out on.
I guessed she had a point there. It seemed like my weekend calendar stayed full.
It was either lunch with friends, breakfast and shopping with Mama and Jordyn, a bike ride with Sean, a book club meeting with the girls, a baby shower, someone’s birthday party, a movie date, a concert, or a trip up to Napa for a spa day and wine tasting. It just never stopped.
I liked it though. That’s why I spent my Friday afternoons every three weeks at Naturally Yours getting my locs twisted. Chelsea went on Wednesdays, and Kalena and Najah called Jordyn for their appointments. They all wore relaxers.
Our mama’s standing appointment was on Tuesdays. She wore a press and her long hair was just starting to get gray strands. She usually wore a roller set. We teased her and called her Iola from the sitcom Mama’s Family. We couldn’t figure our parents’ generation out. Why would anyone want long hair and tight curls?
Jordyn and I wore red locs. She liked styling our locs. We wore them in all kinds of styles: crimps, curls, and an array of up-dos from casual to very elegant. The girl had talent.
Her salon is so peaceful and clean. There was never a dull moment there, and you could go there and really unwind. On Fridays, it was Happy Hour at the salon. Jordyn always kept a bottle or two in the small black refrigerator in the kitchen area. The step up was nice. If you wanted to eat, you could go in the “boom boom room”, sit down at the table and watch TV on the big screen. All the other stylists were friendly and cool and the music was always good. It was my mini-vacation. People asked if I paid my sister to do my hair. Well kinda. She doesn’t charge me, but let’s just say she will take a tip.
Normally, I left it under one of those bottles on her station. I figured if she wasn’t doing my hair, someone else would, and I would have to pay. So, I didn’t have a problem paying the woman who looks just like me. I wanted her to be able to obtain the lifestyle she has worked so hard for. She worked hard and was passionate about her craft. She could scrub anyone’s problems out of his or her scalp and right down the drain.
“So come by the house around 1 pm and you bring the dessert,” Jordyn commanded.
“Ok, I’ll see ya after church.”
“Ok, tell Kalena I said congratulations again and I’m mad she didn’t invite me.”
“But I understand, limited seating at those private schools,” I let out a chuckle as I arrive at the campus.
“Ok, I will. Let me go now ’cause I’m here.”
“Oh, ok. I’m glad I kept you company all the way.”
“I’ma get you,” I told her.
We said our goodbyes and the call ended.
I got a text message from Jason Smith. “You still at brunch?” he asked.
I turned off the ignition and responded. “No, now I’m at Kalena’s graduation. I’ll hit you when I’m done.”
He responded with the one letter again, “K”.
I was scanning the parking lot looking for Najah’s car. She lived in Vallejo now, so I was wondering if she made it through traffic ok. I picked up my crackberry and pushed number three, her speed dial number.
She answered on the second ring. She was always like sunshine when I called her.
“Hey Journee, you here?”
“Yes, where are you?”
“I’m just pulling up,” she said.
She honked lightly and I heard it through the phone and in my surroundings.
“Oh, there you are,” I said and hung up.
I told her about the fight between Drew and I as we walked into the school’s auditorium. She’d always been supportive of our relationship over the last 17 years. Her responses were always encouraging and she saw the bright side of everything, unless it was just plain stupid.
“He is really trippin’, huh girl?”
“Yes,” I said quickly. “I mean. We have only had one serious fight, but the talking to me like I’m some dog on the streets is not ok. I mean, I think he did it this time. You know, deal breaker. I mean, his attitude’s been changing and there’s been two other times where he would just say these random things all out of the blue. One day I was sick, and had just got off the phone with the advice nurse at Kaiser, and she told me to go get some tea and something else I can’t remember, and I mean, I am hella sick and got to get up and drive myself to the grocery store to get my own medicine and tea, and he called and after I told him what I was going through, he gone say ‘Yeah, when I come home you changing your cell phone number and your house phone number.’ I was like “What?
Why is that on your mind while I’m not feeling good? Yeah, it’s like, take a break dude, yo Boo Thang is sick. How’s about a ‘oh baby you’re gonna be ok’, dang?”
“That just doesn’t sound like Drew. And him calling cussing you out really sounds out of character for him. He has always respected you more than Yolanda.”
Yolanda and Drew ended up having a baby boy in 1996, a couple of months before his arrest. His name was Andrew Lee Mills Jr. and they got married when he went to jail. The conjugal visits were his treat every 29 days until the California state laws changed. They took conjugal visits away from any prisoner with life on their sentence. His sentence was 15 years to life, so that made him a lifer. They were divorced shortly after the law changed in 1998.
I remembered back then when he called and wanted to get some from me.
“Get some from Yolanda,” I told him.
“I can’t, she’s pregnant.”
Oops!
I was so mad at him.
I was doing a drive-by past his house everyday. I wanted to catch her and him together so I could see if she was really pregnant for myself.
One day I saw them together in his gray and burgundy Granada driving up 90th Avenue, so I made a right on MacArthur Blvd, a left on 98th Avenue and followed him on the 580 Freeway going east until he got off at the Hayward Exit. He stopped at the stop light and I pulled right on the side, so they both could see me.
He looked and didn’t budge.
Yolanda was a big girl, so I couldn’t tell if she was pregnant or not. I assumed she was almost due if she wasn’t giving him none. She looked over and I mean-mugged her and the broad gone wave at me.
I burned rubber trying to get away from them.
I hated her. He was my man and he belonged to me!
Why were college graduations so boring? They needed praise dancers or a comedian to perform. Derrick could rip the stage, I thought.
After the long, boring graduation, we met up with Kalena and the Martin family outside. We were happy for her and she was excited. Her whole family seemed to have been there. That was probably why none of my family could come and the same for Najah’s family. But who wanted Mr. Joseph to show up to anything? More than likely, he would be drunk. We were more like her family than these folks. But hey, what can you say? We took pictures, smiled and hugged everyone we hadn’t seen in years.
Kalena was from the Maxwell Park area. Growing up, it was her mama, stepdad and little sister, Ashley. Kalena had always been ambitious. Now with her business degree, there wasn’t no telling what was up her sleeve now. She worked at the IRS, and had worked there ever since she had Brandon. He was turning 18 this summer. She has a boyfriend named Todd.
She bumped into Todd again so many years after high school. They instantly connected and started a wonderful relationship. We all approved of this guy. He was nice and funny. He liked to party with us and drink, and always made a good time better. He worked at the transportation system called BART, so he was set. My pops liked him. I think Todd went on a fishing trip with pops and Derrick before.
Kalena’s mama Helen—a.k.a. Mama Len—told us there was gonna be a big surprise at Kalena’s graduation party at her house. Mama Len couldn’t hold water in a cup if you gave it to her. I thought she was about to tell Najah and I what the surprise was, but were interrupted by Kalena’s uncle with the camera in his hands.
We took more pictures outside: Kalena, Najah and I, Kalena and her sister Ashley, Kalena her parents and Ashley, Kalena, Ashley and Brandon, the two sisters with her girl cousins from Sacramento, Kalena with her Mama and grandmama, Kalena with her three uncles, Kalena with her classmates, Kalena and Brandon, Kalena and Todd, and Kalena, Todd and Brandon.
We loved taking pictures.
I bet Kalena would have all these pictures posted on Facebook before the night was over. We all walked to our cars and headed toward High Street.
Once I got in my SUV, I dialed the 702 area code and the seven digits that belonged to Jason.
“How did the graduation go?” he asked. “Did you tell Kalena congratulations?”
“The graduation was nice. A little boring, but you accept that, ya know. I am happy for her. We all teased Kalena telling her, ‘you better hurry up and get your degree before you and your son are going to the same school,’” I answered.
“How is Brandon?” Jason asked.
“My godchild is fine. He graduates from high school next month. Then after the summer, he’s off to Clark University in Atlanta.”
“What high school does B go to?”
“Ole boosty Skyline.”
We laughed in unison.
Breathe, Journee.
“Where you headed now?”
“We’re throwing Kalena a graduation party at her Mama’s house. Derrick is barbecuing in the backyard and her Mama loves to cook, so she was in the kitchen all day yesterday cooking greens, baked beans, potato salad, cornbread, peach cobbler and banana pudding. Ashley and I decorated the backyard yesterday and we went to Lucky’s to pick up some ice cream, ice, buns for the hotlinks, and burgers. Ashley made the punch and I made my famous ‘white girl salad’ and a fruit salad.”
“Oh, save me some,” Jason said. “I’m hecka hungry now. D can hook them ribs up too.”
“Yeah, he makes his own sauce just like you,” I said.
“That’s how you do it! I bet Derrick’s sauce ain’t better than mines though,” Jason said.
“I guess you’ll have to make a trip out here so we can have a cook-off and I’ll be the judge.” I said. That’s when I remembered I brought the fruit salad back home ’cause there wasn’t any room in Mama Len’s refrigerator.
“Oh shoot!”
“What happened?” Jason asked.
I busted a U—turn right in the middle of the street and headed back down Brookdale Avenue. As I waited at the light to turn right onto High Street, I couldn’t help but look at the displays across the street at Diva Darlings. The clothes were so bright, colorful and trendy. I looked for a parking spot so I could run in real quick. There were no parking spots on High Street of course, so I decided to park in Colonial Funeral Home which was across the street from the boutique.
“Nee,” Jason snapped.
“Yes?” I asked.
“Goodbye, you ain’t listening to me,” he snapped again.
I laughed because he was right. Shopping rules my world. I don’t care what it is—clothes, shoes, household items, garden tools, groceries, even Jordyn’s beauty supplies.
“I’ll call you tomorrow after church.”
We said our usual “I love you’s” and ended the call.
Fifteen minutes and $126 later, I headed home. I bought a yellow cotton dress, a black pencil skirt, and a ruffled rust halter. I was juiced too, thinking about going home to change into the yellow dress. I laughed at myself, because I used to do that as a child with my new shoes. You know, wear the new shoes out of the store.
As I continued my journey home, I switched the CD player and pressed radio to hear what was playing on KBLX. It was Yearning for Your Love by The Gap Band. I turned it up and started singing with Charlie Wilson.
As I approached High Street and MacArthur Blvd, I got into the turning lane so I could make a left. I started daydreaming about Jason and me back in the day. I snapped out of it real quick ’cause as soon as the light turned green, the car behind me started honking. I was startled and stepped on the ignition pedal.
Jason is the one that got away, but at the same time, won’t go away. He doesn’t even live in California anymore. I miss him so much at times, but things happen for a reason. But he could have been more of a man about how it all went down.
I remember when we first met. It was the night after I left the Festival at the Lake. It was a beautiful Sunday in October. Derrick says the year was 1995, but for some reason, I really don’t remember the last year of the festival. The festival was at Lake Merritt in Oakland. It was just Kalena and me.
We had just dropped Chelsea and Najah off at home. We had a good time at the festival. We always did, except for when we ran into old flames from around the way. For me, that was a bad thing ’cause I had a fair share of them, and would be trying to avoid confrontation. What killed me was how they would just come up to me, acting like we were still cool. My pop taught us an ex means exit. Move on to someone else.
Mama would ask, “Do you walk backwards? Then you don’t go back with exes. If you do, you’ll realize early why you broke up the first time. These old flames always come up to you with that old game. They always wanna call you after they leave the festival and take you to the movies or go get something to eat.
Ah, no, nicca. “I’ve moved on and I’m not feeling you no more” was my slogan.
What I liked was bumping into old friends from school. They never could believe that we all still hung together. Everybody asked about Jordyn. I would tell them that she’s doing very well and I’d tell her you asked about her.
Kalena gave us our name back in ‘84, The TFC (The Together Forever Crew). But now we are The Divas.
Anyway, everybody posted up at the lake for this annual event. It was a meat market for women and men, just like going to the nightclubs. It was always a three-day marketplace of networking, music, entertainment, different cultures of food from around the world and plenty of shopping. At that time, Najah lived by my homeboy Eric’s house, so I decided to stop over at Eric’s and say what’s up. I didn’t see him or his crew of cousins at the lake. Eric and his brother lived together in a small apartment building off of Seminary Avenue.
Kalena and I pulled up in my white ‘88 Acura Legend coupe. Eric had six dudes over his house and they were all outside of the apartment chilling. They were laughing, high-fiving, and watching every car that passed by. We got out the car all bubbly. Kalena and I spoke to Eric and his brother Billy. We met everyone else. All the guys were cousins of Eric and Billy’s.
I noticed Jason before I turned the ignition off. Jodeci’s Freek’n You was playing in my CD player. I loved that song. I’m juiced talking to Eric and we talking crap to each other and everyone is laughing. We’re just having a good time. Eric comes from a big family full of dudes. So you know what that means. Any family where there’s a lot of men, there’s going to be a lot of kids.
Actually, Jason had his little daughter with him. She was laying upstairs on Eric’s couch asleep. He and I hit it off right at the beginning. His timing was great. Everytime I capped on Eric or Billy, he was on me, like Eric couldn’t defend himself. I was like “hmmm, I really like this dude.” We all laughed and talked crap the whole night, like it was a Saturday. I believe back then, Billy had the hots for Kalena. They went out a few times and that was it.
But I had plans for Jason. I wanted him. I believed this was a love-at-first sight thing, because I was in love the first time I laid eyes on him. I wanted to kidnap him and run away with him to Foreverland and never come back! He had a beautiful smile and nice teeth. He was tall, maybe 6-foot-3, and light skin. He wore a tapered afro and had two hoops in each of his ears. His body was thick, and he had on shorts so his nice legs were on display. His tennis shoes were white and crisp and I noticed he had big hands.
We were play-fighting a little. I would say something to any of them just to get a reaction out of Jason. He fired back just like I suspected. I realized that I was falling deeper and deeper; I hadn’t felt like this since Drew.
Jason couldn’t seem to keep his hands to himself. I liked that connection. Just light taps and touches. It turned me on. I was going crazy, and at the same time, trying to figure out how I could get his number that night. I didn’t want to bet that Eric would give it to me. He was a hater, because I know he liked me. His sisters, other cousins and uncles made comments before, about us being together and how I was his girlfriend.
Naw, it wasn’t like that.
Eric and I grew up around the corner from one another. He was my boy, but I think me always dropping by and always talking on the phone made it seem that way.
I didn’t know how to tell Eric I wasn’t attracted to him. I didn’t do anything that would lead him to believe that I liked him more than as a friend. I even went so far with it and lied and said I was gay so he really wouldn’t like me on that level. It worked too. I had him thinking that Najah was my girlfriend. She thought it was funny, and she played her position too. She would act like a gay lover. Not the hugging and kissing, but she would just say things to me in front of him to let him know that I was hers. She acted so well, I told her she may not win an Oscar for her performances, but maybe a Tyrone Award! It worked and Eric got the point. He would be mad and fuming, but my message got across.
Maybe a little too well, because, of course, he told Jason I was gay.
I got it!
Friends Helping Friends was the new craze then. I asked Eric to get on board with me. I wanted Jason to get on board, and he was not having it. I told him that I needed his number so, when I cashed out, I could call him and tease him about it.
He gave me his numbers, home and cell. I could have died and went to heaven that beautiful October night. Jason and his brother were roommates at that time.
I called him for like three days in a row.
I left messages and he never called me back. I think he thought that I was really calling him about that Friends Helping Friends mess.
The truth is, I kept Eric’s money because that pyramid game dried out that evening, and hit the front of the newspapers the next morning. It was definitely illegal, because it was a cash hustle and the IRS couldn’t get their cut.
I meant to give Eric back his money. Honestly, I did. But I just considered it a gift. I probably went on a short shopping spree with the money, knowing me.
I stopped calling Jason and didn’t think about it again. Ain’t no telling who I was wasting time with at that time. I was pretty occupied then. I was a full-time college student.