MOMENTS IN LOVE
I looked up at the clock, and it read 11:17pm.
I couldn’t believe it, but time flies when you’re having fun. My back was beginning to hurt. I sat on Kalena’s wooden chair for too long, but we got a lot accomplished.
I yawned.
“You better go home girl,” Kalena said. “We’ve had a full day today.”
“No, girl. We’ve had a full weekend. But it was a good weekend. I’m very excited for you, boo thang. Todd put the cherry on it to top this weekend off!” I said.
“Can we just say he liked it so much that he put a ring on it?”
We both laughed.
“Ok, girl. I’ll check on you in a few days.” I stood up and gathered my crackberry and my purse.
“Thank you so much for spending the whole day with me and helping get this wedding planning started. I think I will figure out what color we will go with after I talk it over with my soon-to-be husband.”
I turned quickly and looked back to see her, ’cause her voice had some uncertainty. I wanted to be able to tell if it was excitement mixed with butterflies. After I examined her emotions, my read was uncertain. I decided to just pray for her, Todd, and all of us who will be a part of this wedding party.
“Ok, wifey. Hire yourself a good wedding coordinator and get some rest. Holla back!”
She walked me to the front door and we hugged and gave each other kisses on the cheek. She waited on the porch for me to get in my SUV and drive away.
“She’s such a mama,” I thought as I rode by waving at her to go back in. She smiled as she walked back inside and turned the porch light off.
While I headed home, I turned off my stereo to talk to God about this wedding. I took a deep breath and exhaled. I almost closed my eyes but remembered I had a steering wheel in my hands so I took another deep breath.
“Lord Jesus, I come to You with a special request to put your arms around your daughter Kalena. Keep her in high spirits and in lots of love with Todd through this wedding planning. Cast all the hate and jealous away Lord. Keep good thoughts in their household. Keep them one accord and bless every vendor and all the people who they seek out for help. I pray away all confusion and back-biting and any ex-girlfriend and ex-boyfriend interferences. I pray for financial blessings and affordable payments and no disagreements whatsoever about anything. Keep the happy couple happy and get rid of any doubts or worries. Let the advice-givers have no ill will for them, and let all of us have fun. In your name, Lord. Amen.”
I noticed I didn’t stop at one red light.
Small favors. Good lookin’ out Lord.
I smiled all the way home as I cruised down MacArthur Blvd. It was a little quiet for the strip. There were no loud cars rolling with four dudes deep, no one hanging outside of all the little hole-in-the-wall bars. There wasn’t a whole lot of people driving on the streets either. I decided to roll my window down and catch the night’s breeze. Clear my head of all the stuff cluttering my mind.
I was juiced about the wedding though. Jordyn, Najah, Chelsea, and I are bridesmaids. Kalena’s sister, Ashley, would be her maid of honor and there would be no matron of honor. We would either wear the same color and a different dress or same dress but in different colors. I thought pastels would be cute. The wedding was going to be in November, so maybe not pastels after all.
Either way was fine with me. I liked knee-length dresses to show off my nice cocoa legs. It would be a church wedding, with the reception held somewhere else. I hoped it would be somewhere nice. Fortunately, there were so many options in the Bay Area to pick from, with all the great landscaping, city skylines, seascapes, wineries, and sunshine. I guessed that the cost would determine which dance floor we would electric slide and cha-cha slide on.
Yeah, I knew we was gonna have a good time. I didn’t care if we were in a barn, as long as the DJ was bumping like Mind Motion from 106.1 KMEL or maybe Jordyn’s client, DJ Hurricane. I had one of his mixed CDs in my changer. As the wind was invading my personal space, I noticed I wasn’t even bumping the Bose system in my ride. I pushed the power button, pressed number 3 and DJ Hurricane’s CD got started. But I decided to save it for tomorrow.
Sorry, Lil Wayne.
I started to connect to the wind. Its caress had taken over all the clutter in my mind. I wasn’t thinking about nothing and nobody. I just fell in love with my new discovery of the gift of air. Not only do we need it to live and breathe, but it’s a healer too. Like Mama would say, “it’s just another gift from God, baby.”
I pulled up to the house abruptly, because a sista had to use the bathroom bad. I didn’t know why I didn’t go before I left Kalena’s. I hated this feeling, because it seems as soon as I got closer to getting out of the car, your squeezer acted like it forgot how to hold its deposit.
I concentrated on getting out the truck so I wouldn’t disturb my squeezer. I wondered if there was an exercise that could improve my squeezer. I thought maybe you should exercise going your butt to the bathroom when there was one around.
I was walking up the stairs of the porch and I heard some noise coming from the living room. I stopped and turned around. There was a car parked behind Derrick’s Acura, which meant he had company.
But I didn’t care; I had to pee hella bad.
I walked faster up the stairs and then the noises were clear. He had that Moments in Love knocking hard out of his state-of-the-art speakers, plus these niccas were screwing!
On the couch? I whispered to myself.
I waited at the door with my key in the lock ready to unlock the door. I was just gonna run past them real quick, but I just could’t seem to break their groove.
Instead, I stood there and listened to the pounding sounds of two bodies. His breaths were deep. He sounded like he was working hard and giving it to her with no holding back, and the owner of the silver Honda Civic was taking her beating like a wimp, if you asked me.
Maybe she was enjoying it more than it sounded like, but her love language sounded like he was girthy. She was sounding like a wounded sea lion! I bet her nails were digging into his back and her legs were wrapped around his. I envisioned Derrick’s blood squirting all over the place: all over the walls, the couch and the floor.
I started laughing and remembered I really had to use the bathroom, so I had to do Plan B ’cause his breaths started getting faster and her squeals were nerve-racking. I wanted to shout, “Honda Civic, shut up and take it like a woman you punk bi—!”
Sorry Lord,change me.
I had to get off the porch and work my Plan B before it was too late.
I rapidly tip-toed down the stairs and headed to the backyard. I thought I would just come in through the back door. I walked around the house and under the window of the living room.
I didn’t stop, but I still heard the two fornicators coming towards the end for their sexcapade. I couldn’t stop to hear the finish line victory ’cause I had no time left to waste.
I was finally at the back door when I realized that I left my keys in the keyhole at the front door. I was in disbelief.
I had my hands raised up like I was waiting for my teammate to throw me the basketball. I hated that feeling, and that was when I gave myself permission to relieve my squeezer. It was getting harder to keep it under control anyway.
There was no way I was gonna make it back to the front of the house and back before that warm eternal liquid started racing down my thighs and possibly my legs. My pantyliner was gonna be heavy and wet.
I closed my eyes and just gave in to the moment. It wasn’t a quicky either.
I think it even went down to my tennis shoes too.
I took a deep breath and stood there trying to remember the last time I had done that. I couldn’t remember. But here I was, 36 and peeing on myself.
Thanks, Derrick!
Now that I am standing in my wetness, it was time to make a move. Plan B failed badly. I had to get my keys out of the front door and still come back around here to let myself into the house.
I turned around to walk down the stairs but my wet butt made me uncomfortable. My sweatpants felt like they weighed a ton.
Why does piss have to be so hot?
I wanted to almost cry from embarrassment, but who was here to witness this? If I didn’t tell no one, they won’t ever know. Please believe it.
I psyched myself out and walked back on the side of the house. Thank God for the street lights cause it was dark out here. I walked fast, because I didn’t know what Derrick’s plan was with Honda Civic. Was he gonna see her to the door right after, or were they gonna sit on the couch afterwards and talk, or were they gonna move it into his bedroom for another round?
Ain’t no telling with Derrick.
I couldn’t wait to hear why they weren’t in his bedroom in the first place.
I don’t think I could have sex in the living room having a male roommate and all. Well, maybe if he was out of town or something.
Men are nasty anyway, I thought. I just hoped I could get up and down the stairs without any interruptions. That would be embarrassing. As I let myself back through the gate, I tried to hear what was going on when I got back to the side living room window. But I didn’t want to stop my wet stride. I peeked around to the front of the house after I saw that Honda Civic was still here.
I moved faster up the stairs and snatched the key out of the keyhole holding all the keys together so I wouldn’t make a lot of noise. I skipped every other stair going down the porch and ran back into the backyard to safety. When I made it, I had to stop and take a deep breath. I exhaled deeply.
I still couldn’t wrap my mind around peeing on myself.
I decided that that was a good thing.
I gathered myself and let myself in the door. I went straight to the laundry room and stripped to my birthday suit. I loaded the washer with some of the other dirty clothes that were in the dirty clothes basket already, poured some liquid Tide on the load of clothes and started the wash.
Through the walls, I could hear Honda Civic’s moans coming through the wall and the headboard lightly hitting the wall came next.
“Oh my gosh, Derrick,” I said softly aloud.
I was ready for my exit, no need in sneaking around any corners ’cause these niccas were in too deep.
On my way to my bathroom, I grabbed some clean towels from the hallway closet and jumped into the shower with the water on hot. As the steam hit my skin, I couldn’t help but close my eyes and hold my head back. My head was going from left to right in slow motion.
I started thinking about Drew and how long we’d been together. How could he blow up on me like he did? I’d been holding us down for 15 years. I mean, I hadn’t been just watching TV all these years.
Yes, there’d been other men I’d kicked it with. Some I fell in love with. I got pregnant once or twice, had a miscarriage or two, had a heartbreak or three. I had a few one night stands, a few two night stands, and I’d had to beat up a baby mama too.
I’d come along way and I still found myself right back in Drew’s embrace.
It felt so right. The chemistry was so equal between us. How could he just think that he could call me all out of pocket like that? Did he feel ashamed of himself? Obviously, he was having a bad day but I was the sunshine through his rainy days, the peanut butter to his jelly, the syrup to his pancakes, the butter on his toast, the milk in his cereal, and the cheese for his burger.
I didn’t know what his problem was, but I was tired of the up and down with my love life, period. Seemed like I wasn’t getting nowhere. But for so long, I didn’t want it to go nowhere. I was 36, and looking toward my future. I bought this house with the intention of building a family, not roommate with Derrick. I’ll be the big 4-0 and something has to change or I’ll be the lady with the twenty cats.
No, I’ll have fish, no cats.
Yeah, I’ll be the old lady with a hundred gold fish. I laughed to myself, thinking about how nasty that tank would be with all those fishes in the tank just pooping in it all day.
As I used my Mary Kay body wash to clean all of my body parts, I began to pray to God for guidance and clarity.
Lord, I thought. Change my attitude. I wanted the courage to move on and have the relationship that I deserve. I wanted to overcome the junk that I was involved in. I needed the courage to welcome something new, and move from these unfulfilling relationships. Bring me who you have for me, I thought. And give me what I need to be ready for my husband. Amen.
I got out of the shower and dried off. I took my shower cap off and hung it on the door knob so it could dry. I slipped on a Warriors t-shirt and got in bed. The clock read 12:04 am. The sandman took me out before my head hit the pillow.