Just before 10:00 a.m., the lights lowered and Yogi Jack entered the studio. He was simply dressed, wearing a fitted sage-green T-shirt and a pair of loose black Nike shorts. Already in place in the front of the room was Jack’s trademark mat, imprinted with a female silhouette in meditation Buddha pose. He settled onto it, moving into cross-legged sukhasana. As Jack looked around the room and silently greeted his students, he rocked his hips back and forth, getting into full position. He closed his eyes.
Abby shot Elizabeth a look of approval. “He’s a better-looking Andrew McCarthy,” she whispered, referring to the eighties teen idol in the movies St. Elmo’s Fire and Pretty in Pink.
Elizabeth smiled and nodded.
“No wedding ring,” Abby noted.
“No,” Elizabeth whispered.
“Good morning!” Jack said, opening his eyes and surveying the room again.
“Good morning!” the women echoed back.
“I hope everyone is well today,” Jack cooed. “I’ve missed you. It’s nice to see so many friendly faces.
“Today’s practice will be ashtanga yoga, but first I would like to share information about a yoga practice I’m studying. As those of you who regularly take my classes know, I am close to becoming an official kundalini yoga practitioner. I have been studying under Dr. Guru Giani Ghan Khalsa Singh, a visiting scholar from the Mendocino Academy. He’s the head of the International Kundalini Yoga Teachers Association. I have eight hours left in the over two-hundred-hour teacher training program. In two weeks time, I will start the first of a series of kundalini yoga workshops. I’ll be running them here, in my studio, from eight to ten o’clock on Thursday nights.”
He paused and looked for responses from his students.
“Who in the room has heard of kundalini?” Jack asked.
A few hands shot up.
Yogi Jack lips ticked up in an amused smile. “Okay, I’m glad it’s not a new concept for everyone,” he said. “For those who are unfamiliar, let me explain.
“Within each of our bodies, there is an energy that has infinite capabilities. The Hindus call this energy kundalini, and, in their beliefs, it’s coiled like a serpent at the base of the spine. Kundalini is the body’s unconscious libidinal energy. It lies dormant, awaiting an awakening stimulus to unfold its potential. Kundalini can be woken in many ways, including through kundalini yoga, which employs a yogic combination of movement, breathing, chanting, and meditation. Once aroused, it travels through the body and, with proper guidance, eventually reaches the mind.
“My workshop will be distinctive in that it unites kundalini with Western tantra practices. The goal of my classes will be to build physical, mental, and spiritual strength while uncoiling the sacred, sleeping sexuality that exists in all of us. Once woken, this sexuality allows for the discovery of personal potential and vitality.
“For those of you interested in my workshop, please speak with me after class or visit my website.”
One woman’s hand rose. Yogi Jack turned to her. “Hi, Rachel, nice to see you here today. Do you have a question?”
“Yes, I do,” she said. “I’ve heard of kundalini awakenings and that they can be quite intense. One description I read described it as feeling like you’re plugged into a wall and lit up like a Christmas tree. Have you personally experienced kundalini awakening?”
“Yes, I have,” Jack replied, “and what you describe would be an accurate way to illustrate my experience. My awakening was electric, but not all of them are intense. Some of you may have already experienced it without knowing. Those who have now need guidance to move the energy through the body, which leads to divine wisdom. Kundalini awakenings can be brought on by many things, including childbirth and other traumas, a guru’s laying of hands, a love affair, or guided meditation. The kundalini awakening experience varies greatly.”
Another hand went up.
“Hi, Claire,” Jack said, turning toward her.
“Will you share your kundalini awakening experience with the class?” she asked.
“Yes,” he replied. “Mine occurred last summer, during a three-day-long retreat called ‘Taste of Tantra’ in Johnson, Vermont. It was led by Joh Eagle, a world-renowned tantric expert. The first few days of the retreat involved exercises meant to strip away ego defenses, enabling the participants to get to a real place that allows for exploration and growth.
“With various partners over the first two days, I did breathing, prolonged eye contact, ‘soul gazing,’ visualization, and therapy-like exercises. Each activity made me feel more open, more vulnerable, and more revealed.
“On the morning of our third day, after breakfast and a five-mile hike up Madonna Peak, we met at the top of the mountain for tantric movement exercises. We did a series of classic partner poses: downward-facing dogs, pelvic tilts, and Hercules with one partner. They were all body on body and very intimate. The last exercise was the yab-yum. It’s a tantric position where partners sit in each other’s laps and wrap their legs around one another so that the bodies are lined up heart-to-heart and eye-to-eye.
“My partner Jackie and I were in yab-yum doing the related tantric breathing exercises and hip undulation. That’s when it struck. My body lurched forward at her, and then, as if pulled by a force, plunged backward. I started to shake uncontrollably. Initially, I thought I was having a full-body orgasm, but then I realized it was something much more powerful. I trembled for about two minutes. During most of it, I felt like I was going to die, that my heart would stop. But then it passed and, in my relief, I started to weep, crying uncontrollably. Jackie cradled me until I calmed down.
“Later, when we were back at the retreat center, I met with Joh Eagle. He told me that what I had experienced was a ‘kundalini crisis,’ which is when the awakening is so sudden it completely overwhelms the body. I have since learned that these ‘crises’ can be very dangerous, so the goal of my workshop will be to slowly awaken my students’ kundalini.”
Claire asked, “Are you different since your crisis—I mean, awakening?”
“Oh, yes,” Jack enthusiastically responded, “in so many incredible ways. It was well worth the two minutes of wild panic. Since that day, there is an overall clarity to my thoughts and perceptions. It’s as if I am finally seeing the world clearly, which can be upsetting, but my lucidity is coupled with a calmness and a feeling that I can handle whatever happens. There is a divinity to it. After kundalini awakenings, people claim to have greater sensitivity, creativity, spirituality, and wisdom, as well as psychic abilities, alpha sexual attraction, and newfound charisma.”
Jack looked around the room again, noting the reactions. He smiled and asked, “So who is ready for the movement part of class to start?”
“I am,” several women in the class called out.
“Okay, let’s move to downward-facing dog and walk the dog out,” he said, referring to a version of the pose where legs alternatively bend and straighten to make the stretch less intense.
From that pose, Jack led the class through a series of standing positions and sun salutations. He moved through the studio, silently adjusting his students. The women were then instructed to move from downward dog to cat pose.
Once everyone was on all fours, Yogi Jack intoned, “Close your eyes. Don’t think about your mat neighbors. Move your body the way it wants to go. Give yourself over to what the body wants, what the body asks. Allow your movements to be driven from an unconscious place within. Then, when you find your happy spot, stop and settle.”
Collectively, all the women in the room swayed in a slow, rhythmic way—forward and back and side-to-side. To release the neck, their heads moved in half circles. Eventually, some women leaned backward and sat in child’s pose. Others lay prone in plank.
Abby sat in child’s pose. To release her back, she stretched her arms in front of her. Jack moved behind Abby and rested his hands at the base of her spine. A few moments later he turned and sat so that his bottom was back to back with hers. Jack leaned his body backward, covering her. His arms reached over her head so he could lay the backs of his hands on top of hers. He slowed his breathing to be in sync with Abby’s.
They sat together like that for several minutes, breathing united, rising and falling. Jack slowly sat up and turned. He gently laid his hands on her lower back again. Silently, he rose and returned to his mat.
At the end of class, Elizabeth turned her head toward Abby’s prone body. Abby’s eyes were closed. She looked like she might be asleep. Elizabeth smiled. It was rare to see her intense sister so relaxed.
Elizabeth closed her eyes again, hoping Tory would leave without saying good-bye. Soon she felt a small burst of air as Tory lifted her mat, and she thankfully heard her footsteps leading away.
Phew, Elizabeth thought.
The noise level in the studio increased as more women stood, chatting and rolling up their mats. Elizabeth looked at Abby again and saw her eyes start to flutter. “So what did you think?” she asked her.
“Really good,” Abby replied, fighting full consciousness. “I fell asleep during shavasana. I haven’t felt this relaxed in over a year.”
Elizabeth got up on her knees and started rolling up her mat. She walked to the wall where she and Abby had left their shoes and retrieved them. She handed Abby her sandals and sat to put her own shoes on.
Jack was in the center of the room saying good-bye to his students. As usual, there was much hugging and kissing as the women thanked him and told him they would be back. Abby watched. With shoes on, the two sisters picked up their rolled mats and walked toward Jack. There was a short line of ladies waiting to speak with him.
Elizabeth looked at her watch then and realized she needed to go. “Abby, I’ve got to run,” she said.
“Do you have just a minute to wait with me?” Abby asked. “I have a quick question about kundalini.”
Elizabeth was shocked by Abby and agreed. The Abby she knew—the Abby before her husband killed himself—would never buy into the concept of a dormant, infinite energy in her body. If anything, Abby always seemed to have too much energy pulsing through her veins, making her mind race and propelling her into action. She was one of those people who got up in the morning with a start and was on the go until she exhaustively crashed at the end of the day.
Abby also thought organized religion was a “bunch of crap,” a way to control the masses. Abby wasn’t privately spiritual, nor did she believe that the universe gave out signs.
“My friend Marty believes that every time she sees a cardinal, it’s her deceased sister communicating with her,” Abby once told Elizabeth. “Can you believe that? Marty has six birdfeeders and buys seed that attracts cardinals. And it’s not like those birds are rare in this part of the country.”
Abby thought gurus and shamans were for lost souls. “It’s all about sex and money,” she had said in the past. “Those shaman types just want to sleep with their ‘flock’ and be financially supported by them.”
Elizabeth wondered if Abby’s opinion of yoga instructors who had a guru-like following were the same.
Once it was their turn to speak with Yogi Jack, Abby introduced herself. Jack smiled and extended his hands, encircling her right one with both of his own. “It’s wonderful to have a new student,” he said. “I enjoy having your sister, Elizabeth, in my class.”
“May I ask you a question about kundalini?” Abby said.
“Of course,” Jack responded brightly. “It’s one of my favorite subjects.”
“I’m interested in learning more about the practice,” she said. “I will sign up for your workshop but, in the meantime, do you recommend any books on the subject?”
“I do,” Jack responded. “I’ve read a lot about it. I enjoyed The Serpent Power: The Secrets of Tantric and Shaktic Yoga by Arthur Avalon, who is an expert on tantric. Or Awakening Kundalini: The Path to Radical Freedom by the scholar Dr. Lawrence Edwards. Another good book is The Psychology of Kundalini Yoga by C. G. Jung. If you are interested specifically in learning about our bodies’ various energies, Anodea Judith, who is an expert on the subject and a healer, wrote a book called Wheels of Life: A User's Guide to the Chakra System.
“Thank you,” said Abby. “Authors Avalon, Edwards, Jung, and Judith. I’ll look them up.”
“Why don’t we get together over coffee to discuss it more?” Jack offered. “I have some time open tomorrow morning. Want to meet at Brioche?”
“I’d like that,” Abby responded. “Elizabeth, will you join us?”
“Sure,” Elizabeth said, completely surprised.