APowers@WhitesRealty.com writes:
As Abby and Cecily approached the Worth home, Abby marveled at how a manufacturer could create a single door with so much crap on it. As she reached for the doorbell, the Victorian-inspired, elaborately carved, two-toned, mauve-painted door with etched glass panels slowly opened.
“Hi, Abby and Cecily,” said a subdued Brianna. “I’ll warn you now that Edward isn’t having a good day.”
The colleagues exchanged glances. “We can come back another time,” offered Abby.
“No, he wants to meet with you,” she said. “He wants to move forward with what he refers to as ‘unloading this albatross.’ I have to keep reminding him that he wanted to buy this home a year ago. It’s not all my fault.”
Filled with a combination of art deco and French empire antiques coupled with modern artwork and accessories against a surprising all-white background, the home was breathtakingly beautiful.
“It’s stunning,” Cecily said. “Absolutely stunning.”
Brianna took them on a tour but purposely avoided Edward’s office. “We’ll wait and deal with him later,” she said.
As they entered the kitchen, Brianna said, “First I’ll show you what my decorator Meredith refers to as her ‘tour de force.’ Follow me.”
Adair led the women to a basement door. They descended an illuminated, black stairwell to a single door. There was a warm bathhouse feel.
“You must have a pool down here,” Cecily stated.
“Yes,” Brianna said with a grin.
Brianna opened the door to a walled area of the large basement that was tunneled after the home was built. It was composed of fieldstone walls with two small pools, a large glassed-in shower stall with steam, a sauna, and a reclining area filled with chaise lounges and covered by striped tenting. The pools, shower, and sauna were lined with various shades of blue-and-gray glass tiles.
It was a classic Turkish bath—a hammam—and steam room. The ultimate escape. Another door opened into a yoga studio and gym.
“Have you ever been to L’Hotel in Paris?” Abby asked, remembering it and the long weekend she and Colin spent there several years ago. It was so similar: the bright, updated dungeon look, the pool and glass shower with blue mosaic tiles, the tented rest area.
“Yes, we have stayed there several times,” Brianna said. “For me, that hotel is the ultimate in luxury: it’s intimate, it’s beautifully designed, and it has a cool literary history. Did you know Oscar Wilde died there? The public rooms are filled with fine art and each hotel room has a different, garish style. And then you descend into a space least expected: a hammam room. Stone walls, glass tile… It’s the perfect combination of ancient and modern. It’s so lux and secret. I had to try to recreate it.”
“Is that a stripper pole?” Cecily blurted out as they entered the adjoining yoga studio and gym. The pole was supported by a six-by-six-foot base festooned with a royal blue-and-red tasseled swag. The actual pole was brass and resembled the ones kids cling to when riding on a merry-go-round. “If it is, once the house officially goes on the market, I recommend you put it in storage.”
“Yes, it is a stripper’s pole,” Brianna said. “It’s an amazing form of exercise. Want me to give you a demonstration? I’ve gotten really good.”
“No, thank you,” Abby blurted out. “Another time. We have an office meeting after this appointment.”
“Well, then it’s time to face Edward,” Brianna said. “I’ll warn you in advance, Cecily. He’s going to grill you on your market knowledge, negotiation skills, and past sales.”
“As to be expected,” Cecily responded.
The meeting with Edward went as Abby and Cecily anticipated. Given the price points of the houses they sold, they were accustomed to dealing with master-of-the-universe-type personalities—whether real or self-inflated. Homeowners moving by choice or trading up were generally more pleasant during the initial meeting but not necessarily easier to work with over the course of the sale. The ones who had fallen on hard times were, understandably, another story.
During the meeting, Edward sat behind his desk alternating between tense and relaxed poses. He’s like a simmering teapot, Abby thought. At any second, he could blow. The women were relieved when it was time to go.
* * *
The following day, after Abby spoke with Edward again and ensured him that she would be intricately involved throughout the selling process of their home, he decided to use Cecily as their agent.
“Congratulations. You got the Worth listing,” Abby said over the phone to Cecily.
“That’s good news, I think,” Cecily responded with a laugh.
“It’ll be fine,” Abby said, “and if they become difficult, I’ll help you.”
“He’s the one I’m most worried about,” said Cecily. “There is so much tension between the two of them, and he’s so quick to anger.”
“I know,” Abby replied, sighing. “He’s a bit of a ticking time bomb. Let’s hope they get multiple offers the first weekend and then you can be rid of them quickly. Who do you want to shoot the property?”
“I think Neil Landino would be best,” Cecily said.
“I agree,” responded Abby. “He’s great. Set it up and you and I can go there beforehand to scout and plan the best shots.”
* * *
Two days later, Abby was ensconced in Cecily’s pristine convertible Mercedes-Benz CLK550. After a morning of touring Cannondale’s open house offerings together, they pulled into Kings Lord Manor. “Did you let them know we’re coming by today?” Abby asked.
“No, but I texted Brianna while were at the last house to say we just need to stop by quickly and survey the property. I already know what’s going to photograph best inside the home.”
“Okay,” Abby said. “Let’s hope they aren’t home.” As the women pulled in, Abby noted a large, dated Winnebago parked in Leigh’s driveway.
“How funny,” she said.
“Hope that eyesore is out of here before the open house,” Cecily said.
“Don’t worry, Leigh won’t let something like that sit in her driveway for long,” Abby responded. “It’s probably a relative’s.”
“They have a cousin Eddie, too?” Cecily joked, referencing Chevy Chase’s movie Christmas Vacation.
“At least one,” Abby responded.
Cecily and Abby parked and, after surveying the front of the home, walked around to the back patio. It was large enough to fit four furniture groupings and had the requisite Fairfield County fire pit, outdoor kitchen, and pergola. The colleagues discussed staging items.
“Edward said he doesn’t want to spend another penny on this home, but we do need a few bowls of fruit and a number of those large colorful ceramic pots filled with ferns and mums,” Cecily suggested. “I’ll call their decorator; I’m sure she’ll lend a few.”
“Now what about the backyard?” Abby asked. “It’s all grass.”
“I wish the houses weren’t so close together,” Cecily continued. “Neil is going to have to come in so close on certain angles to keep the neighboring homes out of the shot. And then you have this huge, empty triangular expanse in the backyard.”
“Since Leigh and Brianna are very close,” said Cecily, “maybe Leigh would be willing to get them a few Rhododendron and ivy bushes at cost. I’ll pay for them. It would definitely help sell the house. Otherwise, potential buyers will be calculating all the money they’ll need to spend landscaping the backyard. We don’t want its barrenness to be so striking.
“What’s that structure in the way, way backyard of the Gildings’ property?” Cecily asked. “It wasn’t there when I sold them the house. It looks like a mini-castle covered in ivy?”
“That’s the kids’ playhouse,” Abby said with amusement. “It’s a replica of the home.”
“Are you kidding me?” Cecily said, giggling. “That’s as big as the house I grew up in!” Then they saw two people exit Leigh’s mini-castle. It was initially difficult to tell who it was.
“Maybe it’s Mira and a workman,” Abby offered. “She makes the best macadamia nut cookies.”
As the figures got closer, the women realized it was Leigh and Edward walking side by side. Leigh was wearing a long white terrycloth bathrobe tied at the waist. Edward was dressed casually. They were chatting and smiling.
“Do they have a hot tub back there?” Cecily wondered aloud.
Then Leigh reached out to Edward and tugged at his untucked shirttail. She stopped walking. He turned his head to say something to her but kept moving toward his house. She crossed her arms and pouted.
“Uh-oh,” said Cecily. “This looks odd.”
“Before we see more, maybe we should call out to them and wave,” Abby suggested.
But they said nothing and instead moved behind two fieldstone masonry pillars as Edward continued walking toward his house. Leigh called him again. This time he turned around, and she dropped her bathrobe. She was naked, posing with one knee bent.
“Oh my God,” escaped Cecily’s mouth. “We have to get out of here.”
Edward quickly glanced around their two adjoining yards, wearing a childlike, mischievous look, but he didn’t see Cecily and Abby. He turned and moved toward Leigh. She grabbed her bathrobe and started running to the mini-castle. Within moments, they were both inside.
“Holy shit,” Cecily said.
“Let’s get out of here,” Abby responded.
“I don’t particularly like Brianna,” Cecily said as they pulled out of the driveway, “but I do feel sorry for her. Leigh and Brianna are really close friends, or at least Brianna thinks they are.”
“I know,” Abby responded. “I wouldn’t have put Leigh and Edward together or guessed that the mini-castle had dual purposes: a high-end jail for the kids and a love shack for Leigh.”