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Hannah paused at the entry to the safe house just long enough to catch her breath. If Mr. Kim was awake, she didn’t want to barge in with a silly grin on her face after her first delivery. The work Moses recruited her for was serious — deadly serious — and the last thing she wanted was for Mr. Kim to think she was too immature to pull it off.
She donned a neutral expression and creaked open the front door. Mr. Kim sat at the table reading by candlelight. He ignored the hissing tea kettle and didn’t look up when she came in. She wanted to slip to her room and warm up under a big pile of blankets, but he stopped her. “You didn’t get lost or anything?”
She paused just long enough to whisper a reply.
Mr. Kim tilted his chin slightly in acknowledgement. “Good.”
It was the highest praise he had ever given her.
***
Soon leaned over the toilet. The strain from his retching brought tears to his eyes. He splattered water onto his face and wiped his mouth clean before flinging the bathroom door open and scurrying over to his superior’s office. The general was smoking a cigarette, his feet on his desk. He didn’t glance up when Soon stormed in. “I thought you’d come stopping by for a visit.”
“I need to talk to you.” Soon tried to keep his voice steady.
General Sin gestured to the surveillance camera with the flick of his wrist. “I know. Talk.”
Soon glanced at the camera hidden in the corner.
“It’s off,” the general snapped.
“Won’t that make them suspicious?”
“They know I have my reasons. Now what do you want?”
Soon begged his tears not to fall. “You killed him.”
The general shrugged. “That way you didn’t have to.”
“He was loyal. He didn’t deserve ...” Soon stopped. He doubted his voice.
General Sin swung his feet to the ground. “He didn’t deserve a life behind bars. He’s free now.”
Free. Such a simple word. So impossible to attain in this God-forsaken land. Soon cleared his throat. “He ... he was a good man.”
“Agreed.” General Sin folded his hands on the desk. “Which is why I didn’t send him to the gulag.”
Soon swallowed away the lump in his throat. His body quivered, both with anger and terror. “You didn’t send him to the gulag because you didn’t want him spreading more rumors.”
Sin narrowed his eyes but said nothing, so he went on.
“You talk about the cause. You prattle on about the work still left to do. And yet with your own two hands you kill innocent men, men a hundred times more honorable and more courageous than you could ever ... than you will ever ...” He wiped his eyes in frustration.
The eruption he expected never came. The general raised a single eyebrow and kept his hands folded in his lap. “Are you done?”
Soon turned his face away to hide his tears.
General Sin gestured toward the door. “If that’s all you have to say, then I suggest you finish cleaning up the interrogation room.”
***
Kwan stopped by that afternoon. Hannah couldn’t tell if she was just imagining things or if he was really looking at her with increased respect and admiration. “I hear you made your first delivery this morning.” Mr. Kim had gone out to tend to the chickens, and everyone else sat by the fire.
Hannah kept her hands clasped in her lap and nodded.
“Did your leg give you any trouble?”
She wasn’t sure where to focus her eyes. It felt vain to meet his. She ended up staring at the top button on his shirt and shook her head.
Kwan stretched out his legs. “I remember my first donkey trip. I only carried three Bibles, but it felt like three truck loads. I was trembling so hard I’m surprised I ever found my way back.”
She giggled, glad to shift the conversation away from herself. “Did you ever get caught?”
So-Young poked at the fire and sat down across from them without saying a word. Kwan sat up a little taller. “Well, there was one time ...”
A cold burst of air blasted through the back door as Mr. Kim came in. “You’d better be on your way, Nephew. It will be getting dark soon.”
***
Burying a prisoner had never taken Soon so long before. The heavy weight in his stomach seeped into his limbs, dragging him down. When he was finished, he crouched in the dirt, where one day his own body would meet its resting place. There were days he wished he never learned men were created for freedom and dignity. There were days he cursed his own conversion and the constant danger it forced upon him. He leaned over the makeshift grave, trying to fathom what type of prayer was appropriate for a travesty like this.
He knew it was General Sin behind him by the way the dirt trembled under the forceful strides. Soon didn’t turn around. The general had already seen his tears once.
“You did well today.” General Sin never offered praise before. Soon lifted his finger to his cheek and pretended to scratch it. He made a move to stand up, but General Sin squatted down next to him. For a moment, the two kept silent vigil before Levi’s unmarked grave. Soon could hear the general’s throat working each time he swallowed. Finally, the general coughed and mumbled, “For the kingdom to advance, we must all be prepared to make sacrifices.”
A dozen questions hung on Soon’s shoulders like chinks in an iron chain until he finally found his courage and his voice. “When you say ‘sacrifices,’ do you mean martyrdom? Or murder?”
General Sin picked up a stick and etched lines in the dirt. “Yes.”
Soon didn’t ask any other questions.