Mandi grinned at Hayden and Jill Osland. In every glance, with every touch, it was obvious they were in love. They were good, decent people who deserved to have a child. And they were going to be wonderful parents.
With all eyes on her, Mandi picked up the pen and added her signature to the legal document that spelled out at pompous length and detail a simple agreement: she would carry and give birth to a baby for this couple. Her heart swelled when Jill Osland squeezed her hand. She could see tears shimmering in the woman’s eyes.
“Thank you, Mandi.” Her voice quivered, and she looked at her husband. “Oh, God. I can’t believe it.” He put his arm around her and pulled her against him.
Jill swiped at her eyes. “Oh, my gosh. I’m a mess,” she said, laughing.
Emma bounced out of her chair, clapping. “Group hug,” she said, lunging for Mandi. They all joined in, a tangled mass of arms and bodies. And though the outcome was still uncertain, Mandi confirmed once again that she was doing the right thing. Probably the best thing she’d ever done.
She’d told the Oslands she didn’t expect photos or updates after the baby was born, but she could see maybe staying in touch with Jill, once she was secure as the mom and understood that Mandi wouldn’t be a threat. Mandi didn’t miss the concern that had flashed in Jill’s eyes during that conversation. According to Emma, some surrogates stayed close to the family and participated as a kind of aunt or close friend. Mandi could see how that might be awkward for the biological mother. She’d never want to interfere with the mommy and baby bonding.
When they sat back down, Jill winked at Emma, then looked back to Mandi. “We have something for you.” She reached under the table and produced a large gift bag filled with tissue paper.
Mandi glanced uncertainly at Emma. Surely she would’ve told her if it was customary to exchange gifts with the intended parents. She didn’t have one to give.
“Don’t worry,” Jill said. “It’s a little something. Come on. Open it.”
Mandi removed the tissue then peeked inside. What the heck? She screwed up her face and pulled out a round yellow cushion resembling a giant donut. With a little laugh, she held it up. “What is it?”
Her eyes wide, Jill looked at Emma again. “You really haven’t warned her?”
Emma shook her head and shot Mandi a wry smile. “It’s a pillow.”
“A pillow?” Mandi echoed. She looked at the donut. “Okay, you guys. Let me in on the joke. I don’t get it.”
“It’s the shots, hon. They make your butt really sore.”
“Oh, now you tell me,” Mandi said, groaning. She turned a playful glare on Emma. “Let’s have it, lady. What else have you been hiding from me?”
Laughing, Emma threw an arm around Mandi again. “Nothing. I promise. But you don’t have a lot of padding on that cute tush of yours, so you better keep this pillow handy, and some pain pills. That should take care of it.”
Mandi flicked a glance at Hayden, wondering if all the talk of uterine lining, eggs and butts made him squirm. He looked unfazed. In pregnancy, it seemed, all body parts were fair game. She shoved the pillow back into the bag. In the whole scheme of things, a sore butt wasn’t a big deal, but the ass-pad would definitely be going to DataPlus with her.
She gathered up the charts Dr. Vickers had given them, and gave a shaky smile. “Okay, let’s do this.”
The first part was up to Hayden and Jill. Dr. Vickers would work with the fertility specialists to time the collection and fertilization of Jill’s egg. In preparation for the transfer Mandi would start injections. She’d never imagined having to give herself shots, but it was a necessary part of the process. The nurse who trained her had been very patient, and after Mandi got the hang of it, it didn’t seem too difficult. Besides, it was only for a few weeks before and after the in vitro.
Mandi went through the timeline in her head. Her parents were moving next week. And Lane had no reason to come up for awhile. Except to see her. If he asked, she’d have to make up an excuse. Maybe she could say she was going to see her parents’ new place. Or that she was sick. No, that would never work. He’d rush up to take care of her. She hated to lie, but under the circumstances, it might be necessary. She’d have to figure it out.
**
Three weeks later, Mandi jumped when her cell phone buzzed inside her pocket. These days, every phone call caused her heart rate to soar. She was expecting to hear from Emma to schedule the in vitro, and Lane had turned in his proposal and now just had to wait to hear some initial response from the city. He’d accepted a short-term project in Houston while he waited. She missed his weekend visits, but the new project was exactly what Mandi needed. Time to get pregnant with someone else’s child. She checked the number and slipped into the hallway.
“Emma?”
“Hi, Mandi. Okay, sweetie, looks like we’ve got viable eggs, and the doctors are ready to schedule the procedure.”
Mandi’s heart hammered as she listened to Emma. The one thing that gave her pause was the word “eggs.” Successful in vitro sometimes resulted in multiple births. She’d deal with whatever she got, of course, but she prayed for a single baby.
“Next Thursday in the clinic at St. John’s. I’m sending you an email. You can expect to hear from Dr. Vickers’ office with specific instructions.”
“Okay. I’ll be ready.”
“Don’t worry. Everything went perfectly on this end. We’ll be in touch.”
With shaking hands, Mandi put the phone back and tried to concentrate on work. She’d have to let Joe know. She could simply send Joe an email, but she’d have to tell Judy not to schedule her at the diner. That would be much harder. That would take some explaining.
**
Ten days to two weeks – that’s how long they’d be on pins and needles before they had the sign they needed – an increase in her beta numbers would indicate a pregnancy. The waiting was the hardest part. She knew that. And it had to be so much worse for Jill Osland. So when Mandi looked at her phone and saw it was Jill again, she took a deep breath and tried not to be annoyed with the woman. Of course she was anxious.
“Hey, Jill,” Mandi said.
“Mandi,” Jill breathed. “Listen, I’m sorry to bother you again. I just wanted to check in.”
“It’s fine, Jill. You’re not bothering me.”
“How are you feeling?”
Mandi knew that question meant do you feel pregnant? Tender breasts? Nausea? Anything out of the ordinary?
And she couldn’t get Jill’s hopes up. Truth was, she felt completely normal. Maybe a little tired.
She’d done everything exactly like she was supposed to. Rested the entire weekend after the procedure. No lifting. No sex. In fact, in that department, she’d hit a long dry spell. She’d talked to Lane almost every day, but hadn’t seen him in weeks. Good for her circumstances, but bad for her mood.
That, however, was about to change. Lane was coming for the weekend, and she’d like to know beforehand. Just in case. They were always careful to use a condom. Still, accidents happened occasionally. There could be no accidents here. She thought about telling him not to come, but it’d been more than a month, and she missed his touch. Missed him. Phones and computers were poor substitutes for the man.
“Oh, Jill. I wish I had some news for you. You know I’m scheduled for the first test next week. That’ll tell us what we need to know.” No way would she tell Jill she was going to the drug store for an early pregnancy test.
“I’ll try to be patient, but I’m going crazy waiting,” Jill said, groaning.
“I know. Me, too. I’ll keep you posted. I promise.”
Mandi forced herself to wait until Thursday. When she left DataPlus, she steered her car away from home to a drugstore where she’d be less likely to run into anyone she knew. For twenty minutes she stood in the aisle and read the boxes of every brand, including fine print. How to choose? Finally, she checked the expiration dates, and picked the freshest one. Avoiding the cashier’s eyes, she made the purchase, and on shaking legs, dashed back to her car with the package.
If it told her what she needed to know, she could relax and enjoy the weekend. Maybe even tell Lane her secret. Part of her wanted to, wanted someone other than the doctors to experience the event with her, to understand what she was going through. She was convinced that Lane would understand. In her mind, anytime she started daydreaming about the pregnancy and delivery, he was there, cheering her on.
**
At one a.m., when Mandi failed to suppress a yawn for the second time, Lane chuckled and turned out the light. “Goodnight, babe,” he said softly before closing the laptop and flopping onto his king-sized four-poster. What a waste of space that was. He adjusted the pillow under his head, his thoughts still on the images of the woman on his computer screen. Friday sure took its sweet time getting there.
More than once he’d considered calling Mandi and breaking it off. The miles were wearing on him, and he knew there wasn’t any future in the relationship. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Every time they talked, every time he saw her over a Skype call, he wanted her, wanted to feel her against him. And so he’d drive to Dallas, spend seven hours on the road to be with her. For now. Because there was still a chance he could land there for an extended period, and he could have Mandi without the driving. The city had called twice with questions about his proposal, and he was picking up positive vibes. His only concern was whether they were playing the contenders against each other. Could he trust them not to take his ideas and incorporate them into someone else’s plan? No, but there wasn’t a helluva lot he could do about it other than keep in touch.
Lane spent two nights in Austin before heading to Dallas. He was anxious to get to Mandi, but needed to take care of basic tasks like an oil change on the car. He was putting more miles on than he’d expected in the last several months. And he liked to check on Hound every week or two. He figured he’d get a call from his mother one of these days. One of these visits would be the last.
His heart thumped as he pulled into the drive and saw Mandi standing in the doorway, wearing a summery white dress and a smile that lit up her entire face. She’d softened her curls so that gentle waves framed her face. He jogged up the stairs and swung her into his arms. “Hey, there, gorgeous.”
She gave a little shriek. “Say that ag–”
He covered her words with his lips, and let his actions speak for him.
When she pulled back several long moments later, she laced her fingers through his. “Hi,” she said softly.
Lane checked his watch. Already seven-thirty. “You ready?” he asked. The sooner they left, the sooner they could get back.
“Sure,” she said.
“Give me just a sec.” In his hurry to get there, he hadn’t made a pit stop along the way.
Lane washed his hands in the tiny sink, bending down to look in the mirror. So much for the fine Northtown accommodations. He’d missed the nights with Mandi, but sure hadn’t missed this cramped trailer. He could hardly turn around in it. Next time, he’d book a room.
He ran a hand through his hair and was about to turn toward the door when something in the trash can caught his attention. He looked closer, and caught his breath. Blood, hard and fast, drummed through his ears. Son of a bitch.
Quietly, he turned the lock on the door, then he picked up the small trash container and retrieved the box that packaged an early pregnancy test. Could Mandi be pregnant? They’d used a condom every single time. No exceptions. Holding his breath, he opened the box and removed the stick that rattled inside. The soft pink coloration may as well have been a flashing neon sign. It clearly indicated a pregnancy.
Lane’s heart pounded as heat rushed through him. He leaned against the sink trying to think through possible explanations. Other than the obvious one. Maybe she’d had a friend over and it wasn’t really even Mandi’s result. He knew the woman next door had been over. Could be she wanted moral support from Mandi.
That was pure speculation on his part, though. Shit. She should’ve started birth control pills a long time ago. He knew condoms weren’t a hundred-percent reliable. Stupid, stupid. While he berated himself, an unwelcome thought hit him like a punch in the gut. Was it an accident? Could she have sabotaged the condoms? Deliberately got pregnant?
She’d done it once before.
Oh, Christ. Was she doing it again? To him? Using him? But why would she? To replace the baby she’d lost? To get out of there and get her college degree? Would she blackmail him into paying for college? He shook off those thoughts. No, that was ridiculous. Her parents would help her pay for college anytime she wanted to go. It didn’t make sense. She wouldn’t want a baby if she were going to school. Would she want an abortion? Bile rose in his throat.
He clenched and unclenched his fists trying to remain calm as a thousand thoughts assaulted him. It had to be an accident. Okay, don’t overreact. Let her explain. See if she even brings it up. He thought back over the last couple of days. He hadn’t detected anything out of the ordinary in her tone or behavior. In fact, she seemed to be in a great mood. Because she’d gotten what she wanted? Maybe she’d fabricated the whole college thing, and what she really wanted was a new baby. And he’d happened along and fit her requirements.
Maybe she figured he had the DNA she was looking for. Call him egotistical, but he had to be the best thing she’d catch in any net cast in Northtown.
By the time he opened the door, he’d convinced himself to stay quiet. See what she did. That’d be the best way to handle it. But when he approached the living room, and she smiled up at him with bright, innocent eyes, he couldn’t stand it. No way could he sit through dinner, spend the night with her, with the question raging in his brain.
Her smile faltered, and she stared at him, a puzzled frown wrinkling her forehead.
“What’s the matter?” she asked, her round earrings bobbing against her smooth, bare neck.
He hesitated, searching her face for truth. But her face went blank as she stared at him. He swallowed hard then blurted out the question. “Mandi. Are you pregnant?”
Her eyes widened, and the faintest hint of a smile registered on her face.
“Oh, my gosh. How did you know?”
He jerked his thumb. “The bathroom. Evidence in the trash.”
She shook her head. “Oh, wow. Right.” With a toss of her hair, she shifted and smiled. “Okay, yes. I was going to tell you about it. It’s–”
He placed both hands on his hips and stared at her. “I would sure as hell hope so.”
“Well, first, don’t freak out. It’s complicated, but–”
“It’s complicated? How’s that?”
“Lane. Listen, I know this is a surprise, but it’s not what you think. I–”
“What should I think?” He couldn’t keep the edge from his voice. This innocent act was tough to take. While he waited for an answer, a red flush spread over her face, and her features hardened.
“Do you think you could calm down a minute and let me ex–”
“How the hell did this happen?”
“Lane,” her voice rose. “Stop interrupting me. I’m trying to tell you. This was a planned thing. It’s not our–”
“Planned. What is that supposed to mean? You planned this without talking to me?” Anger flared inside him. “Why?” He crossed his arms to keep from shaking the hell out of her. “Yeah, I want to hear this.”
She looked away, but not before Lane caught a glint of tears in her eyes. When she turned back to him, her lips were pursed.
“Don’t worry. It’s not yours.”
The air whooshed out of his lungs. That was the last thing he expected her to say. “Excuse me?”
She took a couple of steps away from him and tossed her purse onto the couch. “I said you don’t need to worry about it. The baby. It’s not yours.”
“You’ve been seeing someone else?” He was incredulous. Was that even possible? Were there enough hours in the day? Thoughts raged inside him. Of course it was possible. There’d been plenty of weekends when he wasn’t around. Was she screwing someone else? No, it was a lie. She was covering because of his reaction. She’d been found out, so she was making it easy for him to walk away. Could he? Could he turn away and leave her? Leave their child?
In one quick step forward, he grabbed her arm. “Don’t lie to me.”
She yanked her arm away. “Why not? You obviously aren’t interested in the truth.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and studied her a moment. She didn’t look frightened or guilty. She looked . . . disappointed. He took a deep breath and tried to get his emotions under control.
“Mandi, look, we need to talk about this–”
“No. Actually, we don’t,” she said flatly. “I see what you’re thinking. It’s real nice, too. You think I’m trying to trap you the way I did Aaron. Or that I’m a two-timing whore. I can see it in your eyes, Lane. You don’t trust me. Because to you, I’m still trailer trash.”
He reached out to her, but she stepped back. “Mandi, that’s not true.” But it was. The seed of doubt was there. And they both knew it.
Lane let his arm drop. “What do you want to do?” he asked quietly.
“I think I’ll just stay home tonight,” she said without meeting his gaze.
“Don’t play dumb. I mean about the baby.”
“I’m having the baby,” she ground out, swiping a tear away. “And then I’m giving it to the couple it belongs to.”
“What?” He shook his head. She wasn’t making any sense. “What is that supposed to mean?”
Her voice went airy and distant. “It means the baby’s not yours, and it’s not mine, either. I’m having it for a couple who can’t conceive. And that’s all I’m telling you. You can believe me or not. I don’t really care.”
What was she talking about? He nearly laughed. She expected him to believe she was pregnant but the baby wasn’t hers? How absurd. That was the most bullshit story he’d ever heard. That was something he might read about on the cover of People Magazine or some tabloid rag in a grocery store. He had to hand it to her. She was creative.
Cold eyes met his then, and for a moment, he longed to see the spark that had been there when he came out of the bathroom. The smile that had been on her face and in her eyes. For him.
He clenched his jaw. God, what a sucker. Even when she stood there talking to him like he was some kind of ignorant moron, he wanted to make her smile.
For a second, his spirits lifted. Maybe it was a false alarm. It was just a drugstore kit, after all. “You haven’t had it confirmed by a doctor yet, have you?”
She barked out a laugh. “What? Hoping it’s not true? Still worried? Look, I told you, forget about it. You can go now. You’re free. Off the hook.” She flailed her arms at him, her eyes flashing. “Go! Make your escape.”
“Mandi, come on–”
“Just go!”
“Fine.” Swearing under his breath, he picked up his keys and strode to the door. He yanked it open and left without looking back. Pounding down the stairs, he called himself all kinds of stupid. He’d known she could turn out to be psycho. From day one he’d had plenty of warning signs – her quick come-on, her history, the trailer park. But he chose to ignore all of them. This was his own damned fault.
Stunned, Mandi sank onto the sofa. She’d imagined their relationship ending, never doubted that it would. She’d gone over various scenarios in her mind a hundred times. Prepared for them, even. But she’d never imagined this. Tears burned her eyes. He was going to be the one person she confided in.
She let the tears come. God, she hadn’t even told the parents yet, but she’d made up her mind to tell Lane over dinner that night. Had been excited to see his reaction. What an idiot. She thought he’d be so supportive, that he’d help her get through it, be proud of her for doing something heroic. Instead, he’d assumed the worst.
For a moment she considered calling him, trying to calmly explain what she’d done. But the look on his face replayed in her mind. The look of scorn and contempt. She’d seen those before. It was just like the day Aaron walked out on her. With a low scream, she punched the pillow next to her, then yanked it up and curled it around her middle while she rocked. Why had she ever thought she could have a real relationship with a man? When would she learn?
It occurred to her then that it wasn’t her at all. Maybe it was Northtown. Nothing good had happened to her in Northtown. Or in Texas, for that matter. Perhaps everyone was right. She needed to get the hell out of there. Soon. An ugly thought slammed her brain. Maybe the pregnancy wouldn’t take, and she could leave. No one but Lane knew about it yet.
She reined in her thoughts. Of course she would fulfill her commitment. She’d have this baby. With any luck, there was only one baby, not multiples. The doctors would be able to tell her that soon, she hoped. Mandi knew the Oslands were anxious to hear. But she wouldn’t call until she’d been to the clinic and confirmed the pregnancy. No reason to cause more trauma.
Mandi spent the rest of the weekend in a listless stupor, wondering if Lane would call. Wondering if he’d left town. Had he calmed down? Did he believe her? On Sunday evening, she poured a glass of milk and forced herself to drink it while she played torturous mind games with herself. What did Lane believe? If he really thought the baby was his, she knew she hadn’t heard the last of him. She took another drink of the milk, willing herself to relax. One thing she knew for sure, stress wasn’t good for a pregnancy.
First thing Monday morning, Mandi placed a call to the clinic. They agreed to take a late appointment so that Mandi could squeeze it into the hour between jobs. So far, everyone had been incredibly accommodating.
At five-fifteen, she hurried into the medical office, and by five forty-five, she was on her way to Jimmy’s. Officially pregnant. As soon as she got a chance, she’d have to call Emma and the Oslands. At least a few people would be excited about the pregnancy.
Unexpected tears burned her eyes. Damn it, why had this gone wrong? The last thing she wanted was for the pregnancy to ruin her relationship with Lane. Fool that she was, she’d started to depend on his steady presence. He’d been there for her after Brittney died. She rested her head against the steering wheel and sat in her car a moment to get her emotions under control before heading into the diner. Of course it was for the best. She’d seen his true colors.
She managed to work quietly and avoid a lot of conversation with Theresa who was also on the shift. At break time, she made the first call.
“Oh, Mandiiiiii,” Emma squealed into the phone. “This is so exciting. Are you feeling okay?”
Mandi laughed, catching Emma’s enthusiasm. She could practically see her jumping up and down. “Yes, I’m feeling fine.”
“Have you talked to the Oslands?”
“That’s my next call.”
“Well, be prepared. They’ll want to jump in their car and drive up there and smother you with hugs.”
“Ha-ha. There’s no need for that. I’ll call them in a minute. I go back to the clinic next week, and then after we get past the first trimester, I guess I’ll start seeing Dr. Bensen on a regular schedule. Don’t worry, I’m already taking the prenatal vitamins, and ugh, I’m drinking milk.” Her least favorite beverage of all time.
Emma chuckled. “The biggest sacrifice of all, huh? We’ll talk soon. You take care of yourself now, lady.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Mandi punched in Jill’s number. “Hi, mommy-to-be,” she said when Jill picked up.
Jill screamed from the other end. Grinning, Mandi moved the phone away from her ear. “Are you a little bit excited?”
“Oh, Mandi.” The screams turned to tears. “Excited doesn’t begin to cover it. I don’t even have the words to thank you. Oh, my, gosh, I’m just so grateful. You are the most–”
“Jill,” Mandi interrupted softly. “You’re welcome.”
“If you need anything. And I mean anything, you call us. I’ll come up and rub your feet. Whatever.”
Mandi laughed. “Careful there. I might take you up on that.”
She said goodbye to Jill, and was about to tuck the phone back into her pocket when she noticed other missed calls. Her heart skipped a beat. Lane had called. Twice. She debated listening to the message, but decided against it. Not while she was at work.
**
Lane tossed down the pencil and stood up. Was she ignoring his calls? He knew her schedule. Knew exactly when she went on break, when she could call. He checked the time again. Past nine. And no response. Goddamn it. Was he going to have to go back up there and stalk her? Wait outside her trailer or the diner like a total schmuck?
If she was pregnant with his child, he had a right to know. But she said it wasn’t his. Unless she changed her story, he had no proof. And what if she did change her story? If she said it was his, would he believe her? How could he? He slumped back into his desk chair. He had to find out for sure. But how? Would he have to wait nine damn months then insist on a paternity test? Take her to court to get one? Surely it wouldn’t come to that.
He had no other reason to go to Northtown. He’d talked to agents from the city on the phone several times. They had questions about his plan, but nothing that required a personal visit. In fact, he had the feeling they discouraged it. Besides, he didn’t have a lot of extra time. The new job in Houston was supposed to take only a few months. But it wouldn’t if he kept running up to Dallas, if he couldn’t put Mandi and Northtown out of his mind long enough to concentrate on something else.
He banged his fist on the papers in front of him. Who gave a rat’s ass about the traffic flow around the Hobby airport, anyway?