Almost six weeks in Northtown, and Lane was ready for a long break. He hit the open road, and accelerated, hoping the three-hour drive home would help him decompress. So far, Old Man Winter had smiled kindly on the entire state of Texas. The roads were dry, and the temperatures in the sixties. No jacket required.
He drove straight to his parents’ house. His mother met him at the door.
“Oh, Lane. I’m so glad you’re here.”
He heard the concern in her voice. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Hound, honey. He doesn’t seem right to me. And it’s Christmas Eve. The vet won’t be in the office.”
He held up a hand. “It’s okay, Mom. Where is he?”
“TV room. He hasn’t moved all day.”
His mother wrung her hands. “I thought about calling you, but there was nothing you could do from your car.”
“Right.” He patted his mother’s arm. “Take it easy.”
He’d known for a while now that Hound’s time was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier. He was part of the family. Of course it’d be hard on his mother. Hound was as much her dog as his. In high school he and Hound had been inseparable, but once Lane left for college, his parents had taken over the retriever’s care. Lane had often seen his mother absently petting Hound while she read or watched TV.
Lane knelt down and lifted the dog’s head. “Hey, buddy.” He scratched his ears, rubbed his sides, looking for any signs of inflammation. He sat up on his toes, his hands brushing against Hound’s head. “Mom, I think this guy has a serious case of old age.”
His mother nodded, a hand to her mouth. Lane saw the unshed tears in her eyes, and rose. She turned and snatched a tissue from a box on a shelf, then dabbed at her eyes. Lane pulled her close, moisture gathering in his own eyes. “I’ll miss him. And I know you will, too. But he’s had a good long life. He seems comfortable, so let’s just let him rest.”
When his mother turned for the kitchen, Lane crouched down again. “Good boy,” he said softly. “You’ve always been a good dog. The best.” While he watched the pup’s breathing, memories crashed in. They’d had some good times. Lots of them. When he was younger, the retriever could catch a Frisbee six feet off the ground. Lane smiled as the image played in his mind. Without warning, visions of Mandi pushed in as well. Too bad he never got the chance to introduce Mandi to Hound. He felt sure the gentle old dog would’ve been therapeutic for her.
He let his head fall to his chest. For Christ’s sake. He couldn’t even mourn his dog without thinking of Mandi. How long would she be present in everything he did? Lane swiped a hand across his jaw, then, with another pat of Hound’s head, he stood. “You take it easy, buddy,” he murmured, his throat tight.
A short time later, Lane’s sister and brother-in-law arrived, and the Christmas festivities began. It took Lane a while to switch gears and get in the holiday spirit, though. Couldn’t help getting up to check on Hound a couple of times.
Lane’s mother liked to draw things out – drinks and a couple of gifts before dinner. Then the formal dinner. After that, it was coffee and dessert, followed by, of course, more gifts. The gift part had been great as a kid. As an adult it was more of a hassle, but he’d finally gotten the hang of it. He could buy multiple gifts in a couple of shops and dole them out in separate packages. It was the unwrapping that his mom seemed to love more than the actual gift.
After the first round, they gathered at the table, holding hands while his dad gave the traditional Christmas blessing. They sat down, but before the passing of dishes could begin, Jill, stood up again, clinking a spoon against her glass.
“Hey, everyone. We have an announcement.”
All eyes turned toward her.
“When we get together for Easter, we’ll be bringing our brand new baby.”
Lane’s eyes flickered from Jill’s face to her husband, who was wearing a wide smile, and looking at his wife with pure adoration.
“Well, honey, what on earth do you mean?” Lane’s mother asked. “You’ve decided to adopt?”
Jill sat back down and glanced at Hayden, then turned to their mother.
“No. It’ll be our baby. We, um . . . We hired a surrogate to have the baby for us. But it’s ours. It’s my egg and Hayden’s sperm.”
Silence hung in the air. And the breath dropped out of Lane’s lungs. No way.
Incredulous, he stared at his sister. “What are you talking about?”
“We contacted an agency, and they put us in touch with some women who had agreed to be surrogate moms, basically to have the baby for us, through the in vitro process. We interviewed two, and picked the one we liked best. The baby’s due March twenty-seventh.”
She said it so matter-of-factly while Lane had heart palpitations. What the hell? Was this some kind of fad? A Save-the-Whales-type-thing . . . a Peace, Love and Help People Have Babies campaign?
“Jill, oh, my gosh. I can’t believe you didn’t tell us before,” Lane’s mother said.
“We wanted to make sure the deal went through, and that it was a viable pregnancy. It worked. Everything’s going really well.”
Lane’s mother squealed, and jumped out of her chair. “Oh, this is so exciting. I’m going to be a grandmother finally. I’m so happy for you.”
“And for you,” Lane’s dad added, chuckling.
Lane’s stomach churned. This couldn’t be real. He’d never heard of a single ordinary person doing this, and all of a sudden he was closely involved in two cases? This was not normal.
“This surrogate woman is pregnant with your baby?”
Jill grinned. “Exactly.”
Lane swallowed hard. Could it be real? Mandi told him the truth? She was really putting herself through this. Having someone else’s baby? He’d given it a lot of thought – had thought of little else for five damned months. He’d even done some internet research. Okay, maybe it was possible, but he had a hard time getting his head around it.
“I don’t get it. Why would someone do that? And what if she changes her mind and decides to keep the baby?”
His sister shook her head. “She can’t. She signed a legal agreement. Plus, it’s not her baby. In fact we chose this woman because she’s had a baby before, so she knows what it’s like. We think that makes her less likely to be surprised by the delivery process or any possible bonding with the baby.”
“I can’t imagine,” his mother said. “What an amazing thing to do.”
An amazing thing to do. The words clanged in Lane’s head, and something lodged in his throat. He hadn’t researched deeply because in the back of his mind, he still doubted the validity of Mandi’s explanation for her pregnancy. Didn’t believe. He could’ve been there for her. Should’ve been there. Here she was doing this generous thing and he’d treated her as if she were a devious tramp. She was right – he hadn’t trusted her. Because of her background. He’d judged her based on her history, and the fact that she lived in a trailer park, and waited tables. Because of all that, she didn’t merit his unconditional trust.
“It’s been quite a process,” Hayden said. “So far, this gal’s been great.”
“And she’s agreed to move here for the delivery.” Jill added. “She’s from Dallas, somewhere up around the area you’ve been working, Lane.”
Lane’s head snapped up. No fucking way. This could not be happening.
“Lane? You okay?” Jill’s eyebrows furrowed as she gave him a puzzled frown.
He rubbed his hands over his mouth. “Do you know her name?” he asked, his voiced strained.
She exchanged a glance with her husband, then nodded. “Yeah, we do, but we can’t tell. We’re supposed to protect her identity. That’s part of the deal. Why?”
He shook his head, a chill seeping through his veins. Protect her identity. Why would that be necessary? “You won’t believe this – I don’t believe it – but I know someone who told me she was doing this.”
“Becoming a surrogate mom?”
“Yeah.”
“Really? That’s funny. Recently?”
“Yeah.” Funny didn’t begin to cover it. Lane did some fast math in his head. It was definitely possible.
“Well, who is she?” Jill asked.
“If I tell you her name, can you tell me if she’s the one carrying your baby?”
Jill looked at Hayden, who shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, hon.”
“What did she say when you met her?” Lane asked. “Did she tell you why she wanted to do this?”
“The money didn’t seem to be a big factor for her, but she did want to get into a new place and go to college,” Hayden said.
Lane put his head in his hands. It was like a punch in the gut. The money. He’d read that surrogates were paid. If it were Mandi, that money would give her a new life. Relief flooded through him. Maybe that’s how she got out of the mobile home, and why she left the diner. It was all starting to make sense. Sort of.
“What’s her name, Lane?” Jill asked softly.
His voice cracked. “Mandi.”
He heard Jill’s sharp gasp, and knew it was true.
“Oh, my God,” Jill breathed. “How do you know her?”
“She worked at a diner close to the hotel I stayed at in Northtown.”
“This is so freaky,” Jill said. “She’s a great girl. We really like her, and we feel like we’re making a difference for her, too. Have you seen her since she’s been pregnant?”
Lane raked a hand through his hair. “Some. The last time I was there, she’d moved, so I didn’t get to talk to her.”
“Oh, yeah, she moving down here. After the baby’s born, she’s moving to California. She’s waiting to hear from several colleges out there.”
“Was this someone you were dating?” his mother cut in.
What was the answer to that? He’d slept with her. They’d gone out multiple times, and stayed up all night talking. It was certainly a relationship of sorts, but was that dating? He swallowed hard. He couldn’t deny her now.
“Yeah. For a while. When I was there earlier.”
Conversation turned to the baby, names, the nursery and planning a shower. But Lane’s thoughts never left Mandi. What did Jill say?
He interrupted the conversation. “What do you mean, she moving down here? Mandi’s moving to Austin? Are you sure?”
“Yeah, since she was planning to move anyway, we offered to set her up here for a couple of months so that she could deliver close by. Makes it a lot easier. Otherwise, Hayden and I would’ve had to go to Dallas for the delivery and stay at a hotel.”
Lane shook his head. Unbelievable. He’d temporarily moved to Northtown, and she was temporarily moving to Austin. “When is she moving? And where to?”
Jill put down her fork. “Look, Lane. What’s the story on you two? I’m getting the feeling it isn’t all good. Did you have a fight or a break up?”
Lane stared at Jill, fingers thrumming on the table. “Yeah.”
“I can’t tell you where she’s living. I’m sorry, but it’s against the contract, and I don’t want you upsetting her while she’s six months pregnant with my baby.”
He ran a hand over his jaw. “How is this even possible? How’d you hook up with Mandi? If this is a normal option for people, aren’t there lots of surrogates?”
“Well, it’s still a small number, Lane. Only about five percent of the women who contact the agency end up becoming surrogates. For different reasons . . . they don’t pass the screening or they change their mind once they see how much is entailed. Think about it. Last year, there were only fourteen hundred surrogate births across the whole country.”
Lane nodded. He still had a hard time accepting the concept. He could see the benefit for his sister, of course, but what about Mandi? Why would she put herself through that? It wouldn’t replace her baby. And why hadn’t she told him in advance, before she got pregnant? God, she was so reluctant to open up, to let anyone see her thoughts and feelings. When Jill turned her attention to his mother, Lane tried to eat some of the feast she’d prepared, but it was like eating dust. Everything stuck in his throat. He guzzled his glass of water.
He wasn’t surprised when Jill sidled up beside him later.
“You look like hell,” she said.
He took a long drink of the beer in his hands and regarded her. “What do you want to know?”
She lifted her brows. “Everything, of course.”
He shook his head. “No. But I’ll tell you the most important thing. She told me about this surrogate deal. And I didn’t believe her. I basically accused her of getting pregnant on purpose to trap me.”
Jill gasped, and her eyes widened. “Oh. You thought . . . you thought the baby was yours?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, my. So then you two . . .”
Her voice trailed off, but Lane knew she got the picture.
“I’d say that’s a little more than kind of dating, Lane. I can’t believe you never mentioned you were seeing someone.” She put a hand on her hip. “And neither did she.”
Lane shrugged. “Didn’t think it would matter. Like you said, she’s planning to leave. And I was in Houston for a couple of months.”
Jill’s head moved slowly side to side. “Wow. Your ex-girlfriend is having my baby. This is like a soap opera.”
Lane let out a long sigh. “Yeah, except for the real part.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Yeah, and except I’m not so sure about the ex part.” She paused a moment while she studied him. “Did you consider apologizing?”
Lane choked out a laugh at that. “Didn’t do any good. She won’t talk to me. Or won’t listen to me.”
“Well, what’s your excuse, anyway? Jeez, Lane, why didn’t you believe her?”
That was one thing he couldn’t tell. He sensed Mandi wouldn’t have told Jill the details of her earlier pregnancy, and she sure as hell wouldn’t appreciate him filling her in. The events Mandi had told him about, she told in confidence. He wouldn’t betray her again. He raked a hand through his hair.
“It just . . . it sounded so far-fetched to me. I’ve never heard of anyone except movie stars doing this, Jill.”
“So you didn’t trust her.”
“Could you twist the knife a little harder?”
She gave a wry smile. “So now what?”
Lane shook his head, and looked past her, wondering the same thing. “I don’t know.”
“Oh, God!” Jill’s voice rose.
“What?”
“I invited her to spend Christmas with us. Can you imagine? Even told her I had a single brother. Thank God she had other plans.”
Lane slumped against the wall. Yeah, that could’ve been a little tense, to say the least.
Jill bit her lip and turned away, but looked like she had something else on her mind.
“What’s the matter?”
“Lane, are you– Are you in love with her? I mean . . .” She glanced away again.
“What, Jill?”
“You’re not thinking of trying to get her to stay here are you?”
His sister wrung her hands together, a worried frown on her face. What the hell?
“What does that mean? You don’t want her here?” He saw guilt flicker across her face.
“No,” she mumbled. “No, I don’t. I like her, don’t get me wrong, but I also like that she’s leaving. I don’t want her here while Hayden and I are starting our family. Let’s face it. We don’t really know how she’s going to react after delivery. I think she’ll be great, but there’s always a risk that she could interfere or try to bond with the baby.”
“Jesus, Jill. She’s doing this incredible thing for you, and you’re lecturing me about not trusting her?”
“Well, I’m not sleeping with her!” Jill bit back.
Lane’s face went hot, and all of a sudden, they were fifteen and ten again, in a power play over who was going to clear the table or take out the trash.
Yelling now, she shook her finger at him. “You’d better promise me you won’t call her or say anything to her until after the baby’s born.”
“That’s three months, Jill.” Lane glared at his sister. “I’m supposed to pretend I don’t know? And what about you? You’ll see her for sure. You’re going to lie? Act like you don’t know any of this?”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she’s not stressed and she doesn’t change her plans, Lane. I mean it.”
What did that mean? Surely his sister wouldn’t sabotage his attempt to make things right with Mandi. But looking at the fierce expression on her face, he wasn’t sure at all. Aw, shit. He could see tears welling in her eyes.
Jill sucked in her breath, and put her hands to her face. “Oh, God. Oh, God.”
“What?”
“We’re supposed to have her over for dinner. I’ll have to put away all of our family pictures. Damn it, Lane. What if she comes over and starts asking questions about my family? Then what? What if she asks about my single brother?”
“Lie,” Lane said, his voice clipped.
“And we have the shower coming up. Aunt Audrey is supposed to be there. What if people ask me about you in front of Mandi? Lane isn’t exactly a common name.”
Lane rubbed the back of his neck. He was supposed to have the answers? “I don’t know, Jill. It might be easier to just tell her than try to cover it up.”
“No. Absolutely not,” Jill said, her voice quivering. “We’re going to act like we know nothing about this, and we’re going to let her move to California. Promise me.”
He held up his hands. “Whoa. Jill, take a breath. I’ve got a lot to get my head around here. I’m sorry, but I can’t just let it go – let her go without ever talking to her about it. No way. I’ve got to get this resolved.” Not that it would make any difference. She was moving on with her life. But how could he live with himself if they kept this a secret? At the very least, he needed her to know that he believed her, that he knew the baby wasn’t his. Instinct told him she’d want to know that he knew she was doing something amazing, not something devious. Then he remembered the smile she wore that night. She’d said she was going to tell him. She’d probably been expecting some support. What would his reaction have been if she’d told him before he found the kit in the bathroom and blew up? He’d have been surprised without question. And maybe a little bit proud of her?
Jill waved a hand in front of him. “Well?” she demanded.
At this point, he couldn’t promise Jill anything. “Look, I don’t have this figured out, but I doubt you have anything to worry about. I don’t know if there’s any chance she’d ever want to see me again, but I know this – she hates Texas.”
Jill stared hard at him, then pressed her hands to her temples. “I can’t talk about it anymore. I need some space.”
It’d be tough, but Lane knew what he had to do an hour later when he overheard Jill and Hayden speaking in hushed tones.
“There’s definitely a relationship between them,” Jill said. “I don’t think he’s going to want her to move to California.”
“We can deal with that later. I’m more concerned about right now. About Mandi’s reaction. If these two were a hot item and it went south, what’s she gonna do when she finds out the baby is Lane’s niece? And even if she does nothing, what kind of impact will it have on her? Shock? High blood pressure? I’m afraid it could stress her out.”
There was a short silence.
“I don’t know. Maybe we should talk to Emma.”
“We’ve come too far to risk a miscarriage or some kind of trauma. We’ve got to talk to him. No demands. No pressure. Let’s just ask him to wait.”
Lane shoved his hands in his pockets, and slumped against the wall. Oh, man. He could only imagine how she’d react. She might not even want to have the baby. She’d never do anything to hurt it, of that Lane was sure. But he’d seen her have an anxiety attack. Could something like that have consequences for a developing baby? Could telling her the truth hurt the baby? Hayden was right. They couldn’t risk it. For Lane, that meant three months in purgatory.