Mandi settled into the wheelchair, then accepted the vase of flowers Jill handed her – the one sent from Lane. Coincidence? Or further proof that Lane’s sister was in on a campaign to patch things up between Mandi and Lane? Mandi suspected the latter. His family didn’t realize it was Lane’s guilty conscience, not his hope for a future with her, that fueled his thoughtful gestures.
She held on to the flowers while the nurse pushed the chair toward the elevators. She had to admit, he’d done a nice job. They weren’t monstrous or overdone – just a cheery variety of fresh seasonal flowers in a simple glass vase. Whether it was beginner’s luck on his part, or he’d given it some thought, she couldn’t be sure. At any rate, they were perfect. If this were a run-of-the-mill lover’s tiff, she’d have to give him high marks.
“Lane’s bringing the car around,” Jill said, as they approached the hospital entrance. “I hope that’s okay. He offered to run you home. But after you rest, we want you to come to dinner at my parents’ house.”
Mandi nodded, but couldn’t help wondering if Lane was also invited. Jill and her family had been incredibly helpful and generous. She wasn’t sure at this point that they had any obligation to her, but they were going above and beyond in her post-partum care. Dinner would probably be the last time she’d see them. Whether that meant enduring an evening in Lane’s company or not, she had to go.
When Lane’s car pulled under the hospital portico, Hayden pulled in behind him. Mandi watched Jill snap Sophia into her car seat then scoot in beside her.
Her heart warmed as she looked at Sophia and her mother. In two short nights together, they’d clearly bonded. It took only one look at Jill’s face, her gentle actions, to see that she was in love with the tiny bundle of pink. Exactly as it should be. Mandi gave a little wave, and turned toward Lane as he stood waiting beside the open car door.
She gripped the flowers and gazed out the window, bracing herself for an awkward ten minutes.
“Do you need to stop anywhere before we head to the house?”
“No. I have everything I need.”
“So you’ve been staying at a professor’s place? How’d that work out?”
“It’s been great. It’s a nice house.”
“Yeah. Jill gave me the address. Great area.”
“Mmm-hmmm.”
A charged silence settled over them. Mandi was sure she’d held her breath the whole way to Professor Jones’ house. All she could think of was Lane’s presence. Inside the sports car, his hand on the gear shift was only inches from her hip. As soon as the car came to a stop in the driveway, Mandi opened her door. In a flash, Lane was beside her. He took the flowers from her, and helped her out, then he swung her small bag over his shoulder, and stepped behind her as she climbed the porch stairs.
When she opened the door, he followed her inside.
“Thanks,” she said, as he deposited the flowers on the table, and her bag on the floor. She couldn’t meet his eyes. Until he spoke, his voice warm and soft.
“Can I stay a minute?”
The quiet timber of his voice resonated with Mandi. She did look at him then, and the tension drained from her. The past just didn’t matter anymore, and she refused to let it define the present or the future. What happened was done. There was no reason to hold a grudge. Besides, it’d be nice to leave Texas on a positive note. She didn’t want bitter feelings with Lane to diminish the triumph of her pregnancy and delivery. She could forgive him. Deep down she knew he was a good person, and he’d never intended to hurt her. He had to leave, though. Before she said something stupid, or did something stupid – like rest her head against his shoulder.
Gathering her resolve, she ignored the strain on his face. “Lane, really, you don’t need to do anything else. Thanks for bringing me home.”
He shifted, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Do you want me to pick you up for dinner, or would you rather drive yourself?”
Okay, that answered that question. So Lane would be there. She’d have to grin and bear it. She wondered how far Lane’s condo was from his parents’ house, or the professor’s house. Had he been home in the last few months? Had he been minutes away from her? Could their paths have crossed? How crazy would that have been?
Mandi shook her head. He had to know the answer to his question already. “I’ll drive.”
“Sure you’re up to it?”
“Of course. I’m going to take a little nap first.” Too bad she didn’t have a beer in the house. A nap and a post-partum beer or two would be nice. She should’ve planned ahead.
She saw the resignation in Lane’s face when he reached out and touched her shoulder.
“All right then. I’ll see you later.”
When the door snapped shut, she slumped against it, expelling her breath. She’d definitely need a nap before she could face another couple of hours in his company.
**
When Lane arrived at his parents’ house for dinner, his blood pounded the second he saw Mandi’s car already in the driveway. He deliberately pulled in behind it, guaranteeing himself at least a moment alone with her before the night was over.
He was drawn to laughter in the living room. When he stepped around the corner, he saw both Mandi and his sister seated on the floor with tiny Sophia on a blanket between them. His mother sat in a chair close by. All of them looked up with smiles on their faces when he entered the room. Mandi’s smile turned hesitant, but at least it didn’t disappear. In fact, it seemed to Lane that she held his gaze a moment. A spark of hope shot through him. He definitely needed to get her alone.
“Wow,” Lane said. “All of my favorite ladies in one four-foot space. How’s everybody doing?” Mandi’s color had improved and she looked like herself again. Sitting cross-legged, her hair loose and dangling around her shoulders, she looked about eighteen. It struck him once again how much she’d been through since the time she’d actually been eighteen.
At first he couldn’t understand why she’d want to put herself through a pregnancy then give the baby away. But looking at her now, he sensed her pleasure in what she’d done. Somehow it was a healing thing for her. He hoped so, anyway.
“Sophia’s entertaining us with baby gurgles,” his mother said.
“Uh, Mom, I think that’s called gas.”
“Oh, pshaw,” she said, laughing. “They’re sweet little coos. She’s learning how to smile.”
“She has to learn how to smile?” Lane asked, shooting a quick glance at Mandi. Her face colored, and Lane knew she was remembering their early conversation about smiles – her lack of them. He remembered, too. He remembered she’d been lying in his arms at the time. As he watched her interact with his mother and sister and niece, Lane’s heart swelled with pride. To his family she was a heroine. Regret hammered at him again. At one time, he’d thought his family might not accept her. He’d been so wrong.
“Hey, Lane, as long as you’re up, how ’bout you bring the pitcher of iced tea over?” Jill asked.
He pulled his gaze away from Mandi. “Uh-huh.” He popped open a beer, then picked up the pitcher and poured iced tea in each of the glasses. When Mandi held her glass out for him, he swore her hands weren’t quite steady. Was she still weak from the birth, or could it have something to do with his presence? He wished he knew.
“We’ll get supper started soon,” his mother said.
“Great. What are we having?”
“Steak and salads.”
“Oh, let me see if they’re thawed,” Jill said, standing up.
Mandi held out her hands, and Jill deposited Sophia into them. When she looked into the baby’s face, then up at him, her eyes wide and soft, Lane’s throat constricted.
“Hey, Lane, could you come here a minute?” Jill called from the other room.
With some effort, he pulled his gaze from Mandi and headed to the kitchen.
“Yeah?” Lane asked.
She motioned him closer. “Hey. How did the drive go?”
Lane looked past her, and shrugged. “Fine.”
“Right. That doesn’t sound so fine. What about tonight? Do you want me to do anything? Do we need to leave early? Help you get some time alone with Mandi?”
He braced his hands on the counter. “Not sure she wants any one-on-one time with me. And what about you? Thought you were worried about that, too.”
Jill shook her head. “I was. I’m sorry. I was so keyed up over everything. Mandi’s been great. Fabulous, really. I feel ridiculous for ever doubting her.” Jill leaned toward him. “You know, she held Sophia for just a second in the hospital and then handed her right to me. ‘She’s all yours, Mommy,’ is what she said.”
Jill’s voice dropped to a whisper, but Lane could hear the emotion.
Her eyes met his. “Do you love her, Lane? Because I don’t want to interfere with that. Don’t lose her because of me or what I said.”
Lane’s chest tightened as Jill’s question thundered through him. The answer was crystal clear. Of course he loved her. Why else would it matter so much that he’d let her down? Why else was he hanging around practically begging for her forgiveness? He closed his eyes. Had he already lost her? Was there any chance they could make something work? It seemed unlikely at this point. Was it his punishment now to stand by and watch her walk out of his life?
He wanted to believe Mandi had feelings for him. He did believe it, but he didn’t know how deep they went or whether she’d ever trust him enough to let them show. So where did that leave them? He would never ask her to stay. He couldn’t ask her to choose between him and California. Not when he knew how much she wanted that, needed it to get herself back on track. He wanted that for her.
Lane raised his eyes to his sister. “I’m glad you feel that way. But don’t worry. If I lose her, it’ll be because of what I said.”
Jill reached out and patted Lane’s face. “Well, I’d say you definitely have some making up to do, but I’ve seen the way she looks at you. You play your cards right, and I bet you can work things out.”
But when? And where? And how, exactly, was she looking at him? Did Jill see something he didn’t or was it her imagination, some girlie romanticism where everything ended happily ever after?
Over dinner, Lane watched Mandi. Could hardly look anywhere else. He caught her glancing his direction a couple of times. Every time their eyes met, his heart thumped. But Mandi was an expert at keeping her feelings inside. He had no idea what she was thinking – until his dad struck up a conversation with her.
“So, Mandi, Pomona’s the one, huh?”
She flashed a huge smile that lit her face like the sky on the Fourth of July.
“Yes. It’s right in the heart of Orange County. Exactly where I want to be.”
“I guess you know I think the Texas schools are every bit as good as the California schools, but I have to say Pomona’s one of the best. Guess we can’t compete with that.”
“No,” she said softly.
“When do you head out?”
“Wednesday. My mom’s meeting me at the airport then flying out with me.”
Lane’s hand froze mid-air. Day after tomorrow? That didn’t give him much time.
“Is that right? You know Jones won’t be back until fall semester if you want to stay in the house a while longer.”
Mandi shook her head. “Thank you, but I need to go out and look at apartments. After that, I’m visiting my family in Florida.” She flicked the briefest glance at Lane before she added, “I’m ready to go.”
She might as well have jabbed him with her knife. But then she was just saying what he already knew – she couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there. He couldn’t blame her for that.
Two hours later, Hayden and Jill packed up Sophia and her things, and Lane watched with his heart in his throat as Mandi held the baby then hugged his sister.
“You let us know when you’re back in town,” Jill said.
“I will.”
“Okay, have a good trip.”
After she said her goodbyes, Mandi picked up her purse. “Thanks so much for dinner,” she told his mother.
She waved a hand. “Oh, our pleasure, sweetheart.” She, too, moved in for a hug, and Lane wondered if he’d be so lucky.
“I’m parked behind you,” he said as Mandi stepped toward the door.
Outside, he stopped beside her. He couldn’t read her expression in the darkness as she turned toward him. Didn’t matter. This wasn’t the end. He thought about yanking her into his arms, kissing her senseless and making her remember the heat they’d shared. But reason prevailed, and he took her hand instead. “Hey, I can drive you to the airport on Wednesday.”
Mandi sucked in her breath. Another goodbye? She wasn’t sure how many she could take. But she did need a ride to the airport. It would save money if she didn’t have to park her car there.
“Don’t you have to get back to Northtown soon?” she asked.
“I’ll head back on Wednesday, after I drop you off.”
She opened her car door. “All right, if you’re sure. Can you be here at ten?”
“Of course. See you then.”
To her surprise, Lane stepped back and let her slip into the car. “Night,” she said.
He nodded, and closed the door.
On Wednesday morning, Mandi’s stomach fluttered with nerves. Her bag was ready at ten, but her emotions were all over the place. This was the moment she’d waited for. Blasting out of Texas. It was a new beginning, sure, but also the end of so much more than she’d bargained for. She took a deep breath when she heard Lane’s car in the drive.
“Hey,” he said when she opened the door.
“Hi.”
He lifted the bag and stepped to the side while she locked the door. “This it?”
“Yeah.”
“So will your mom be there already?” Lane asked as he backed the car out of the drive.
“She should be. I’ll meet her at the gate.” Having her mother there would be a nice diversion. Might take her mind off of Lane, at least for a little while.
They stuck to superficial chit-chat the entire ride. But when Lane swung the car up to the unloading area, he made no move to get out of the car. After an awkward moment of charged silence, Mandi glanced over.
“Will you text me when you get there?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yeah.”
He picked up her hand. “Mandi, I’d like to keep in touch.”
For about the hundredth time, Mandi wanted to scream. Why? Why did he want to prolong this? She swallowed hard. “Of course. Me, too.”
Lane stood in the drive. On the curb, Mandi was eye level with him. He gazed into her face, and almost blurted out the words. Fought to keep them inside. He couldn’t unload that on her. Had to let her go. No strings. The old cliché came to mind: ‘If you love something let it go free. If it doesn't come back, you never had it . . .’ He clenched his jaw. It was a risk, but one he had to take. He couldn’t tell her that he loved her. Wouldn’t be fair to say those words knowing she was leaving. What if it made her second-guess her decision? He wouldn’t be responsible for that.
With his hands on her shoulders, Lane leaned in then planted a kiss on her cheek. That’s all he intended to do, but it was out of his control. As if some magnetic force surrounded them, they were propelled toward each other. He couldn’t pull away. And neither did she. Another second and his lips found hers. Her hands gripped his arms, and he deepened the kiss, his lips moving over hers with need and urgency, oblivious to everything around them.
When she let out a soft whimper, he broke off the kiss and pulled her against his chest, burying his face in her hair. Again, he fought the urge to say those words. “Have a good trip,” he whispered. “Say hello to California for me.”
Nodding, she backed up, grabbed her bag, and without another word turned for the entrance, her long hair swinging around her.
Lane let her take about two steps before his hand locked around her arm and swung her back around. He tipped her chin. “Hey, just so you know. This isn’t good-bye, babe. This is see you later.”