Mandi saw the palm trees before the plane even touched down. And as soon as she stepped outside the Ontario airport, California sunshine rained down on her. She breathed in deeply, and couldn’t contain a smile. Finally, she’d made it home.
For three days, Mandi and her mother looked at apartment after apartment. Most were rented through August, and already had contracts for the upcoming school year. But she was in California, and luck was on her side. The following day, a phone call confirmed a small studio apartment she could sublet for the summer then rent for the rest of the year under her own contract. The apartment was empty and ready for move-in.
“I’m so glad,” her mother said. “That one is nice. Oh, honey, I’m so relieved to know you’re going to be in a better place.”
Mandi tensed. Comments like that always took her back to Northtown. And thoughts of Northtown always led her straight to Lane. She refused to let her spirits be dampened, though, and when the waitress at the Rusty Pelican in Newport Beach delivered two glasses of wine, she held hers up and gazed across the water while the sun disappeared on the horizon.
“To a new beginning,” her mother said softly.
With a shaky smile, Mandi nodded. “Yes. Thanks, Mom.”
They furnished the apartment with basics from Ikea, and two days later, Mandi returned to Austin. She hailed a cab at the airport. The next day, she packed her belongings into her car, quietly dropped the key to the professor’s house into the Osland’s mailbox, and steered toward the highway. She had a two-day drive ahead of her. And she couldn’t do another goodbye.
Only a few hours into the trip, her phone buzzed with a text. She wouldn’t text while driving on the highway, but she checked the number. And was not surprised. A second later, the phone rang in her hand. She didn’t need to look to know who was calling. Might as well get it over with.
“Hello,” she said.
“You didn’t say goodbye.”
The accusation was deadly calm. That fast, tears burned the back of her eyes. “I’m sorry, Lane. I couldn’t. It’s time for me to move on and let Hayden and Jill get on with their lives.”
“I don’t mean Hayden and Jill, and you know it.”
“Well, what do you mean?” she cried. “God, Lane, this is hard enough already. I need to get away.”
Lane swore under his breath. “Is it too much to ask that you at least let me know what you’re doing? I’m going to worry about you on the road alone. Where are you stopping? Do you have reservations someplace?”
As Lane bombarded her with questions, one thought clanged in Mandi’s head. He worried about her. That meant he cared about her. As tears fell, she swiped them away. Of course he cared about her. Hadn’t he told her that already?
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I’ll text when I get there, okay?”
“Not good enough. Text me wherever you stop for the night.”
Really? He was ordering her to text him? She almost laughed at that. Apparently he really was worried. Her voice softened. “I will. I promise.”
She heard his heavy sigh on the other end. “Okay then. How’d it go? Did you find a place?”
“I did. It’s nice. You’d like it. Only a couple of blocks from campus.”
Talking to Lane, the miles flew by, and before she knew it, it was time to stop for gas. Probably only a few more hours, and she’d call him again. Her stupid heart bounced.
**
Later in the week, Lane couldn’t help but smile at the happiness he heard in Mandi’s voice. It came through the line loud and clear.
“I got a job today,” she told him.
“Yeah? Where at?”
“Just a little coffee shop. Close to campus. It’s cute. Nothing like Jimmy’s.”
Thank Christ, Lane thought. But he already knew anything close to campus was way better than Jimmy’s. He didn’t personally know the area around Pomona, but he’d contacted a couple of Stanford buddies who’d landed in Los Angeles, and confirmed that the area was generally safe. Pretty upscale, actually, one had told him. It gave him some peace of mind.
“What’s it called?”
“Collegetown Coffee.”
“Cool. How late is it open?” Hopefully not too late. He still didn’t like her walking alone at night.
“Only ’til ten on weeknights. Eleven on weekends.”
“That’s great.”
“Yeah. I’m working quite a few hours over the summer, but they said I’ll be able to cut back after school starts. They’ll hire several students, and we’ll all work part-time.”
“Sounds perfect.”
Thirty minutes later, he told her goodnight, and switched on the television. Five minutes after that, blood pounding in his head, he called her back.
“Hey,” Mandi said softly. “What’s up?”
“Mandi, turn on the news. Quick.”
Suddenly alert, she bolted out of her chair. “What? Why?”
“Oh, wait. I forgot. It’s only eight there. They got him, babe. They think they got the guy. He was roughing up a woman outside a bar in Arkansas. Trying to get her into his car. Someone got suspicious of the out-of-town plates and called the police.”
“Oh, my God. Oh, God, please let it be him. I’ll get online. Are they showing a picture of him?”
“Mandi. Is there any way you’d know? You never saw the guy, right?”
“I don’t know for sure, Lane. But there was that one night when Brittney and I went out and I thought this guy was watching us. I don’t know if it was him, but I think I’d recognize him if I saw a picture.”
Lane swore under his breath. “You never told me that.”
“I just don’t know.”
His voice rose. “You’re telling me after all this time, that this guy might have seen you? Knew who you were? You could’ve been in danger.”
“Okay, Lane, just chill. I don’t know.”
After a moment’s pause, Lane’s voice dropped. “Sweet Jesus.”
“What?”
“He confessed.”
The breath whooshed out of Mandi’s lungs, and tears sprung to her eyes. She turned on the television, knowing full well it was too early for news and that the arrest of Brittney’s killer was a local story, anyway. There’d be no mention of it in California. She sank onto the chair, that thought reverberating through her mind, squeezing her heart. It was over. And only a few people would care.
“Mandi? Hey, you there? Talk to me.”
The concern in Lane’s words sent fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. Sniffling, Mandi turned off the TV, and instead of searching for Dallas news stations, she opened her Skype connection.
Lane stayed online with her a good couple of hours, talking it through, letting her vent and reminisce. He talked to her again the following night. By the time she’d been in California for two weeks, he’d talked to her nearly every day, either by phone or text. They’d settled into a light relationship of some sort. Maybe it was friendship. Maybe just convenient routine. He couldn’t be sure, but he wasn’t questioning it for now. What he did know was that he looked forward to it every night. After spending all day in meetings at city hall or roaming the dirty streets of Northtown, he wanted to relax with a cold beer and listen to her voice.
Northtown was getting on his nerves. Plain and simple, he was tired of it. The project had lost its appeal. He’d done the interesting part, the innovation, the ideation. He realized now, it was putting the plan together, landing the contract, that gave him the adrenaline rush. Once the plan was implemented, it’d be great. He wanted to see the finished product, but son of a bitch, the constant meetings, the re-hashing of instructions, the standing around discussing the details of the thickness of the concrete or the timing of a traffic light ad nauseam wore him thin. He was on retainer with the city for six months. That meant he only had a couple more months to go. He didn’t have to extend the contract. He could walk.
Lane rubbed a hand across his neck, the possibility becoming more real as he thought about it. He could walk.
**
He wanted to let the idea stew a while, but Mandi caught him off-guard one night in mid-June. “So how’s work going?” he asked.
“Oh, it’s good. Turns out this is a great place to meet people,” she told him. “We’re always busy. Everyone hangs out here.”
He blinked, had been expecting a run-of-the-mill response. But her words sent a hot blast of jealousy coursing through him. Everyone? Who the hell was everyone? What kind of people was she meeting? Students? Grad students? Guys? His throat tightened as unwelcome thoughts flooded in. She was out there alone. Did that mean she was lonely? Would she look for physical connection with someone? It’d been a long time since she’d been with anyone, he could guess that. With her move, the pregnancy, and post-delivery, another move, she couldn’t possibly have had the time, plus her body would’ve needed to recover. But plenty of time had passed now. It wasn’t as if they had an understanding. She wasn’t waiting for him. And Mandi looked younger than her years. She looked young, and sweet, and sexy. He imagined even undergrads hitting on her.
Though his thoughts veered out of control, he tried to keep things light. “Met any movie stars?”
She let out a soft laugh. “Not that I’m aware of. But I could easily run into one and not know it.”
A few nights later, his thoughts ran wild again when he couldn’t get hold of her by midnight. Of course that was only ten o’clock her time. Still early. He’d have to stay up until two to make midnight on the west coast. The time difference was a huge pain in the ass.
Where the hell was she? She said she’d met people, but who? At one a.m., he texted her again, and went to bed. Sleep was a long time coming, though. Even before his alarm sounded the next morning, he reached for his phone. Holding his breath, he opened her text.
“Hi. Sorry I missed you. Out with work crew. Let’s talk tomorrow.”
Just to torture himself, he had lunch at Jimmy’s.
Judy slid a menu toward him. “How are you, handsome?” she asked.
He nodded, attempting to put on a good front. “Not bad, Judy. How are you?”
“Can’t complain, but I sure do miss our girl. Have you talked to her lately?”
Our girl. He had to smile. Judy had become an ally. He didn’t know whether she ever mentioned him to Mandi, but she’d softened toward him over the last several months. “Yep. She’s doing great. All settled in. Really liking her new job.”
“Glad to hear it. You don’t seem so glad, though.”
“How’s that?”
Judy rolled her eyes. “You guys are so clueless sometimes. What are you still doing here is what I want to know?”
“Working.”
“What, you think this place is gonna fall apart if you’re gone for awhile? Like we didn’t get along just fine before your highfalutin butt showed up?”
He heard the humor in her voice, but also the rebuke. Had she talked to Mandi?
Lane met her eyes, a slow smile coming then. “You know, I was just thinking a trip out west might do me some good.”
Judy patted his arm. “I should think so.”
That evening, Mandi picked up on the second ring.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey, there. Out with the gang last night, huh?”
“Yeah. It’s a fun group.”
“That’s great. Anyone in particular?”
Mandi laughed. “Well, my boss is kind of a funny guy. He tells a good story.”
Lane’s heart lurched. He couldn’t remember what else she’d said about her boss. How old was he? Was he married? He couldn’t let it go. He had to know. “Mandi, are you seeing someone?” His question hung between them for a long moment.
“You mean like dating?”
“Yeah.”
“No.”
She spoke only one word, but Lane had a feeling there was more to it. Her voice was quiet, strained.
“You okay?”
“Why did you ask me that?”
More silence. How to answer that? “I just needed to know. Guess my imagination got wound up when I couldn’t reach you last night.”
“Well, I have made some friends, Lane.”
“But no one– No one you want to go out with.”
“No. How could I?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
His heart thumped. “What do you mean?”
“You’re not here.”
Her response stole his breath, and he had to pace a minute before he could hear anything other than the blood pounding in his ears. “Say that again.”
Silence.
“Mandi.”
“No.”
Okay. He couldn’t pressure her for more. God, he wanted to head straight to the airport and book the next flight out. He took a deep breath. “How would you feel about some company before school starts?” Or sooner.
Silence met his question. Again. He wished he could see her face. “I miss you,” he said. Now he really wanted to see her face.
Mandi clenched her eyes shut. Oh, God. How to respond to that? She couldn’t tell him that her entire body ached for him, that she thought about him pretty much twenty-four seven. How could they really have a relationship? Long distance for at least three years? That was too difficult. Too stressful. Too expensive. She wouldn’t lie to him, but did she have to tell the whole truth?
“Do you like the beach?” she asked instead.
“I do like the beach. I like you and me sitting on the beach watching the sunset, having a beer or a glass of wine.”
She gave a choked laugh. “You do?”
“Yeah. Does that mean I can come visit?”
The visual played in Mandi’s head, and lodged in her chest. She and Lane walking along the beach at dusk . . . holding hands. Oh, yeah. She’d avoided the beach since that one time she’d ventured out by herself. Rather than being soothing, it’d been lonely. Something about the vast expanse of water had made her feel small and vulnerable. Alone. She loved being in California, loved her new job, and was excited about going to school. But somewhere along the way, being alone had become lonely.
Most nights, she worked. And talked to Lane. That kept her mind occupied. But then every night she went to bed, and the darkness reminded her that she’d left more than a chunk of her heart in Texas. She wouldn’t be going back to retrieve it, so where did that leave her? What was she supposed to do? Live without it?
At last she answered him, “Yeah. You can come visit.”
“When?”
Now, Mandi wanted to shout. Right now. “Whenever you can get away from the project,” she said. “Just let me know.”
**
This had gone on long enough. He’d given Northtown the plan. All the drawings were finalized, the contracts were in place, some projects had broken ground. The city could take it from there. In a matter of hours, Lane spoke to the lead contact at the city, made a dozen phone calls, and booked a flight out.
The following day, he stepped through the door of Collegetown Coffee.
The look on Mandi’s face as she stood rooted to the floor had him grinning. Her smile lit up the place. It was all he could do to saunter over to her and land a quick peck on her cheek rather than pull her into his arms and pin her to him.
“What are you doing here?” she nearly shrieked.
With a shrug, he cocked his head. “You said I could come visit.”
“A date might’ve been nice.”
Her smile told Lane she didn’t mind. “Oh, I definitely have a date in mind,” he said, moving in close to her.
She laughed then, and briefly rested a soft hand on his arm, her eyes sending him the message he desperately wanted. The light sparkling in the golden-green depths left no doubt she was happy to see him.
Mandi couldn’t keep from smiling. For an hour, he sat there while she worked. And for an hour she worked with a silly grin on her face. She thanked her lucky California stars that today was her early shift.
Just before seven, she made the rounds with a coffee carafe. At Lane’s table, she slipped him a piece of paper.
“What are you doing tonight?” it read.
He grinned up at her, wrote on the paper and handed in back to her.
“Meeting you. Your place or mine?”
Girlish delight surged through her. She wanted him to see her apartment, to see her living in a better place. She responded to his question by writing her address on the paper, then placed it back on the table.
At seven-thirty, Mandi pulled up to the curb outside her apartment. Her heart lurched. There, just like in Northtown, Lane stood waiting for her. Tears welled, and she blinked them back. He was really there. Tingles ran through her body, and she tumbled out of the car.
He pushed off from his rental, and met her with his slow, familiar grin.
“Hey.”
That was all it took. With quick steps, she flung herself into his open arms. He picked her up, twirling her around before setting her back down. The look in his eyes before his lips landed on hers, matched the need she felt. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing close to him.
His hand slid under her shirt and across her back, his kisses trailing fire down her neck. She enjoyed it for longer than was probably appropriate. With a shiver, Mandi sucked in her breath. “Hey, Lane?” she whispered.
“Mm-hmm?”
“This might be getting a little too hot for the parking lot.”
His forehead met hers. “How ’bout we go to the beach?”
“Now?”
“Sure. We can grab something to eat. I picked up a bottle of wine. It’s in a cooler in the back. We could just hang out . . . talk.”
She laughed then. “What are you trying to do – recreate our first night?”
His brows pulled together. “What do you mean?”
Rolling her eyes, she let her hand slide down his arm then hooked a finger through his belt loop. “You don’t remember all you wanted to do at first was talk?”
“Not true. I wanted to do lots more, just wanted to take some time.” His voice deepened as his lips nibbled close to her ear. “What I remember is how fast you wanted to get my clothes off.”
Mandi’s face warmed, and must’ve reddened because Lane let out a low chuckle. He took her arm and pulled her toward the car. “Come on.”
He opened the door, and she slid inside.
Lane climbed inside beside her. “It’s not the BMW, but it’s got some power.”
Forty-five minutes later, Lane squeezed Mandi’s hand as the beach rose up in front of them. A thrill of excitement shuddered through her. Laguna Beach. One of her favorite places on the planet.
As soon as Lane parked the car, she scrambled out. Lane came around and grabbed her hand.
“Okay,” he said. “Let’s do this California thing.”
They slipped off their shoes and walked along the beach, letting the cool water lap at their feet.
“Let’s go out past the tide pools,” Mandi said. She couldn’t ask for a more perfect evening. Warm, with a cool, light breeze. The sky had turned a darker shade of blue, mixed with orange as the sun began its descent, the colors glowing as they reflected off the water. And here she was, walking hand-in-hand with the one person she wanted to be with.
“Yeah, I think I could get used to this,” Lane said. He let go of her hand, and tossed an arm around her shoulders.
She glanced up at him. “I love it here. I feel– I don’t know what it is, but I feel different here. Better.”
Lane stopped, and gazed down at her. “You look good here.” He set down the cooler and blanket he’d been carrying, then took the shoes from her hand and dropped them in the sand.
He tipped her chin. “Hey, I want to talk to you a minute.”
Something in his voice sent her pulse skyrocketing. Blood swooshed in her ears as she met his eyes. They were as deep as the ocean behind him. If he’d just keep looking at her like that, he could talk all night. “Uh-huh. What about?” she asked, her voice barely audible.
“I’ve got some job interviews lined up over the next couple of days.”
She gripped his arm to steady herself. “What? What do you mean? In California?”
“Yeah. What do you think about that?”
Oh, God. Could he? Hardly daring to breathe, she searched his face. “Can you work in California? What about Northtown?”
He looked past her for a moment, then met her eyes again. “My initial contract in Northtown is over in a few more weeks. I don’t have to renew. I can let the city handle it or hire another project manager. I can work anywhere. And, hey, I’m not in love with Texas.”
Before she could think what to say to that, Lane brushed a thumb across her cheek.
“I’m in love with you.”
She gave a sharp gasp, and her lips trembled as he pushed the hair back from her face.
“And I want you to be my wife.”
Tears welled in Mandi’s eyes, and her breath caught in her throat. “Oh, Lane.”
Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small black velvet pouch and held it out to her. “Actually, babe, I want you to be my life.”
Her hand flew to her mouth and she stared at him a long moment, letting his words sink in, drowning in the message his eyes were sending. She touched the solitaire diamond ring tied inside the bag. It was simple, elegant, and perfect. And it said everything. With one step forward, she wrapped her arms around his neck, one hand clutching the ring, the other clutching him to her.
“Will you marry me?” he whispered.
A profound sense of joy and wholeness flooded Mandi’s veins as she absorbed those words, and heard the echo of Judy’s words, too. Go find your life . . .
Here, in the California sand, she’d found it. Laughing and crying at the same time, she nodded against Lane’s shoulder. “Yes.”
THE END
Acknowledgments
Many thanks to my friends and family for their support of this book and all of my writing endeavors. I appreciate the assistance of my critique partners, Michelle Grey and Janice Richards; my beta readers; and my editor, Toni Ferro.
Special thanks to Kara Byrd of the Center for Surrogate Parenting, Inc., Encino, CA, for answering my many questions about surrogacy, and reviewing the manuscript for accuracy. Any errors are mine alone.
Darlene Deluca writes contemporary romance and women’s fiction from her suburban home in the Midwest.
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