The third day of Christmas
Kristal is gone when I wake up.
I jerk up in bed when I see the empty pillow. Just like last time. But how did she slip away again? And why? We had an agreement!
The sound of an oddly dramatic voice, singing about pills that make you large and small, interrupts my mental protest.
A few moments later, I walk into the outer room in a hotel robe. I find Kristal at the coffee table, setting out an assortment of American breakfast items and the off-menu Japanese dishes I have sent to my room whenever I stay at the Tourmaline.
She’s singing along with the strange song, and I pick out words like logic…white knight… red queen…and something about remembering what the door mouse said? After that, Kristal belts the song’s finale, which makes even less sense than the jumble of lyrics that came before it.
When the song is done, I ask, “What does ‘feed your head’ mean?”
Kristal jumps at the sound of my voice, then turns around with a wincing smile. “Please tell me my singing didn’t wake you up. I always get carried away with ‘White Rabbit.’”
I grin down at her. “You should visit Japan. You would do well in the karaoke rooms.”
“Japan…wow. I can’t even imagine. That would be so cool to visit the birthplace of manga and anime.” She nervously smooths her dark locks behind her ears, and I itch to do that for her. Itch to do everything for her.
But then Satomi’s face floats across my mind’s eye. She’d been innocent, too. Her gaze was guileless when she looked up at me and said, “What is it, Hayato-kun? You can tell me anything.”
No relationships, I remind myself, my smile disappearing.
“You have changed,” I note. Instead of reaching out to touch her, I step back to give the green cable knit sweater dress she’s wearing with red tights and a pair of neon-green snow boots a once over. She must have returned to her home on the pier to retrieve the items. For some reason, knowing she slipped away from me for even a few hours makes my gut clench.
“You should let me know before you leave next time,” I tell her while silently vowing there won’t be a next time. I’ll have all her clothes bought and delivered if that’s what it takes to keep her onsite with me.
“Oh, I didn’t leave,” she answers, her smile becoming a little less nervous. “One of my cousins dropped a suitcase of my North Pole clothes downstairs. Then Kristiano—that’s another one of my cousins who works here at the Tourmaline—brought it up along with our breakfast.”
“You have a cousin who works here?” I ask, crooking my head.
She throws me a wry look. “I have a cousin at just about every hotel in this city. A lot of us elves end up in the guest service industry after we’re done at the workshop.”
“Is that what you plan to do after our time is done? Get a job at a hotel?”
A shadow falls over her face. “No, originally, I was planning to stay with Jae-Hyun and work downstairs in his comic book shop. At least for whatever time he has left. He’s not just my drawing mentor. You see, he’s like a father to me…”
Despite her claim of him being like a father to her, something dark and green twists my stomach at the sound of that man’s name. “Is that why you want me to meet with him? Because you consider him a father of sorts?”
Her face softens. “No, I want you to meet with him because you two share a connection. One so profound, his face is showing up on my Soon-To-Be Departed pad. Speaking of which…” She goes over to the backpack, still sitting next to the chair where she left it, and pulls out her drawing pad.
Ripping two pieces of paper from the top, she says. “You can throw these away if you want. But until you two connect, the gift’s going to keep on urging me to draw his portrait for you, once a day.”
She hands me the torn out pieces of paper.
Each sketch is different. One is of the man smiling, and the other is of him peering out over a pair of reading glasses. But now, instead of a date, question marks occupy each drawing’s top left corner.
I’m deeply aware that I do not know this Jae-Hyun person. Yet Kristal’s agreement to my terms completely depends on her belief that I do. Plane or no plane, neither of us would be here right now if not for this mysterious link she thinks Jae-Hyun and I have.
“I’m not sure what ‘feed your head’ means,” Kristal suddenly says into my awkward silence. “I think it’s about drugs. You know…60’s rock.”
She turns back to the table. “Anyway, Kristiano brought me a few things for breakfast, too. Wanna eat? We could, like, mix and match all the dishes. I’ve never eaten a Japanese breakfast before.”
Speaking of drugs….
I look up from the portrait. No, I do not want to eat. At least not breakfast.
However… “Our plane leaves in an hour. I should shower.” It feels like I’m reminding myself of my responsibilities just as much as her. “You will have to eat alone. Please avail yourself of whatever you want from my breakfast. I am not hungry.”
Disappointment shadows her face, but I resist the urge to give in to her offer. Eating together feels too intimate. Like that laughing dinner we shared at Sukiyabashi Daniel—the one I ended up replaying for months on end.
I cannot afford to indulge her, I decide as I turn to head for my shower. Or myself.