‘Thanks so much for lending me this yet again.’ Miriam held up the pale blue silk wrap which she was borrowing to wear to a christening the following day. ‘It’s so beautiful and,’ she gazed at the wrap whilst squeezing her upper arm, ‘it hides all this flab.’
‘For God’s sake,’ I sighed. ‘You’re so self-critical these days. Neither your arms, nor any other bit of you, is flabby.’
Ignoring my exasperated reassurances, she put down the wrap on the kitchen chair in front of her and turned to pick up the two mugs of tea she had just made. She then placed one in front of me and, sipping the other, sat down next to me. ‘So, what time is Jon picking you up tonight?’ she asked, glancing at the clock above the door into the hallway.
I groaned at the mention of Eleanor Black’s reveal party. ‘Quite early. Sophie doesn’t think we should leave David for too long on his own,’ I sighed. ‘And Mrs Melons has him there from eight. It’s a pain really.’
‘Oh, shush. You know you and Jon will have a good time. But you weren’t tempted to call Hugh?’ She smirked and gave me a nudge.
‘Actually,’ I said, giving her a look, ‘I’d have been quite happy to go with Hugh. We got on fine in the end, last weekend. And we’re meeting for drinks next week.’
Her eyes widened slightly. ‘You and Hugh?’
‘Not just us. Abs and Pete too. So, you know, if Jon hadn’t been around tonight, I could have asked Hugh.’ I picked up my tea. ‘But I’m pleased Jon is coming.’ I smiled at the thought of an evening with Jon after several weeks of relatively little communication. ‘Sophie told me he felt like he needed to get out a bit more.’
‘Really?’ Miriam looked puzzled.
I nodded. ‘I know. I was surprised by that too.’
‘It just doesn’t sound like him,’ she said. ‘And, besides, I don’t think he’s short of invitations at the moment, is he?’ She frowned and pursed her lips.
‘Why the lemon lips?’ I put my tea down. ‘Is there something you’re not telling me?’
She eyed me suspiciously. ‘I was going to ask you the same thing.’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘I just wondered if Jon had confided in you about… anything.’
I shook my head. ‘Nothing. I’ve hardly heard from him. So, come on, what do you know?’
She hesitated and lowered her voice. ‘If I tell you this, you tell no one. And I mean no one. Craig will kill me if he knows I’ve mentioned it.’
I held up three fingers. ‘Dib dob wotnot.’
‘Well, on Monday—’
‘Monday?’ I was appalled. ‘You found out something interesting on Monday? It’s now Saturday! You mean you took a whole five days to tell me?’
‘Shh, Craig’ll hear,’ she whispered. ‘I haven’t seen you since Monday. Now, do you want to hear or don’t you?’
‘Of course I want to hear,’ I said. ‘Get on with it.’
‘Well, Craig was at Hotel du Vin with a client on Monday evening and, well, he saw Jon, with a woman. They were having dinner, just the two of them.’ She leaned back in her chair and nodded at me in a slow and significant manner. ‘Just the two of them,’ she repeated.
‘Oh,’ I said, momentarily at a loss. I found myself experiencing a strange mixture of extreme surprise and intense curiosity, tinged with a distinct sense of disquiet.
I looked at Miriam.
‘Interesting, isn’t it?’ she said.
We sat in silence for a moment. ‘So, did Craig go over?’ I asked eventually.
She rolled her eyes. ‘He said he couldn’t say hello right away as he didn’t want to abandon his precious blooming client.’
I picked up my tea again. ‘Maybe Jon was with a client too.’
She shook her head. ‘Craig said it didn’t look like business. Apparently, there was…’ She paused for emphasis. ‘…touching.’
I cleared my throat. ‘Who touched whom and how?’
She tapped the table lightly. ‘That’s exactly what I wanted to know. A reasonable question, you might think. The response I got was, “For God’s sake, Miriam, I was discussing a rebrand. I didn’t have time to take notes on body language.”’
‘But he noticed touching?’
‘Yes. Apparently, she kept leaning towards him and doing this.’ Miriam placed her hand on my arm.
I stared at her hand. ‘And what did Jon do?’
‘Craig couldn’t see. Jon’s back was to him most of the time.’
‘So Craig didn’t speak to Jon at all, then?’
‘Apart from as he was leaving,’ she added. ‘And that was just a brief hello. No introductions.’
‘But how did Jon seem?’
She tapped the table for a second time. ‘Again, I asked that very question. Craig’s response was a shrug.’
I replaced my mug on the table and focused on its remaining contents. ‘So, not massively informative then.’
She sighed. ‘No.’
‘Did Craig say what she looked like?’ I asked, my eyes fixed on my tea.
‘Oh yes. He managed to note that. She was much younger than me, apparently, and very attractive, with long, dark hair.’
I looked up at her. She was unsmiling; her mouth set in a grim line.
‘You look very serious about it all,’ I said.
‘Not really.’ She attempted a smile. ‘It’s just…’ she began hesitantly.
‘What?’
‘Well, this is Jon.’
Neither of us spoke and I took the opportunity to attempt to disentangle my feelings. I felt some surprise and, I admitted to myself, a little hurt that Jon hadn’t confided in me over the date – if that’s what it was. I had put the lack of phone calls and emails from him down to work, but now it occurred to me that he might have been otherwise occupied – with someone else – and I felt undeniably excluded. I looked at Miriam. She was staring into space with the air of someone listening to a poignant eulogy. I felt my mood sinking and forced myself to seek an alternative, less selfish, perspective.
‘I feel a bit odd about it too,’ I said at last. ‘But, overall, it’s a positive thing, isn’t it?’ I offered.
‘I suppose so,’ said Miriam, failing either to look or sound reassured.
‘Of course,’ I persevered, talking as much to myself as to her, ‘we’re always going to feel we have some sort of special connection or relationship with him, because of the past we share. And I know we can’t help but think of him with Lydia.’ I took a deep breath, before pressing on. ‘But actually, it’s not fair to keep defining him, or our relationships with him, by the past, is it? We have to live in the present and he has a right to be happy in the present.’
Miriam said nothing but looked up at me sadly.
‘He has a right to be happy,’ I repeated quietly, for the benefit of us both.
She nodded slowly and then leaned towards me, her arms extended for a hug. ‘It was just a bit of a surprise,’ she sighed. ‘But you’re right. We can’t just expect things to stay the same. Situations and feelings change.’ She released me and smiled. ‘And he’s a single man after all,’ she added.
‘Or was,’ I murmured absently. ‘I guess maybe we just haven’t thought of him as that… until now.’ I picked up my tea and then turned my head, distracted by the sound of footsteps in the hallway.
‘Bathed and in bed, awaiting a story,’ said Craig, entering the kitchen. He walked to the fridge and took out a beer. ‘Hi, Alice,’ he said, failing to make eye contact with either myself or Miriam.
Miriam stood up and addressed me, whilst looking at Craig. ‘Sorry, Alice, I had thought that Craig might read the story tonight. I expect you’ll have gone by the time I’ve finished.’ She bent down and kissed my cheek. ‘Have a great time at the party. And thanks again for the wrap.’ She threw a less-than-adoring glance at her husband, to which he was oblivious, and then left the kitchen.
Craig levered the top off his beer, sat down opposite me and began to drink. He seemed miles away.
I said nothing and eventually he looked at me.
‘What?’ he said.
‘I didn’t say anything,’ I replied.
‘Oh, OK,’ he said. ‘I thought maybe I’d missed something.’
‘I think maybe you have.’ He didn’t seem to hear me and I stood up. ‘Right, well, I have a party to go to.’
This announcement prompted a response. ‘Lucky you,’ he said miserably.
‘God, when did you get so bitter and twisted?’ I asked, feeling suddenly irritated.
He smiled. ‘It came on gradually.’
‘I wasn’t entirely joking, you know, Craig.’
‘Me neither.’ He smiled sadly and opened his mouth to say something more but was robbed of the opportunity by Miriam’s return.
‘Where’s Bunny?’ She was standing in the open doorway of the kitchen, looking at Craig. ‘Phoebe says she gave him to you before her bath.’
‘No doubt she did.’ His face darkened once more as he took another swig of his beer, before placing the bottle forcefully on the table. ‘So, I’ll come and find him,’ he said, standing up and brushing past Miriam.
I looked at her. ‘Sorry,’ she mouthed soundlessly, attempting a smile.
I shook my head. ‘It’s fine.’ I walked across the kitchen and hugged her. ‘We need to go out,’ I said. ‘Soon.’
She smiled and nodded and then walked me to the door. As she opened it, I turned to her. ‘You know, I’m not really in the mood for this party and Jon would have a great time with Sophie and David. Why don’t you and I go out? Or share a bottle of wine at my place?’
She bit her lip and then hugged me again, so that I couldn’t see her face. ‘You’re lovely. But I’m a bit tired. I’ll probably just do a little bit of tidying and go to bed with a book.’ She released me from the embrace. ‘Something escapist.’
I hesitated, uncertain whether or not to press the matter, before deciding against it and instead giving her a second peck on the cheek. ‘That sounds good, actually,’ I said. ‘I’m jealous.’ And then, having never felt less like going to a party, I headed home to get changed.