A Cheez-It is a finely tuned instrument, each tiny square packed with the triumvirate of the perfect flaky crunch, cheesiness with a hint of salt, and (possibly most importantly) just enough grease to leave a light sheen on your fingers. No wonder it’s impossible not to stuff handful after handful into your mouth.
A fluted pastry cutter re-creates the cracker’s signature pinked edges, but a sharp knife or pizza wheel will work just fine in a pinch. Use yellow Cheddar for a spot-on neon color, or white Cheddar for a subtler, more sophisticated hue.
YIELD: about 13 dozen crackers
TOTAL TIME: 1 hour 45 minutes, including chilling time
DIFFICULTY: 2
SPECIAL EQUIPMENT: stand mixer or food processor, fluted pastry cutter
1 (8-ounce) block extra-sharp Cheddar cheese, coarsely shredded
1 ounce finely grated Parmesan cheese (about 1/4 cup)
2 tablespoons chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
2 tablespoons vegetable shortening, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup (4-1/4 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour
2 tablespoons ice-cold water
INSTRUCTIONS:
Using a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, blend the cheeses, butter, shortening, and salt on medium-low speed, or pulse in the bowl of a food processor until soft and homogenous. Add the flour and pulse or mix on low to combine; the dough will be dry and pebbly.
Slowly add the water (through the feed tube, if using a food processor) and continue to pulse/mix as the dough coalesces into a mass. Depending on the brand of cheese used and the humidity level at the time, you might need a small dribble of water or the full 2 tablespoons. Pat the dough into a disc, wrap tightly with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.
Preheat the oven to 375°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper or Silpat liners.
Divide the dough into 2 pieces on a floured surface and roll each into a very thin (1/8 inch or less) 10 by 12-inch rectangle. Using a fluted pastry cutter, cut the rectangles into 1-inch squares, then transfer to the baking sheets. Use a toothpick or the tip of a chopstick to punch a hole in the center of each square.
Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until puffed and browning at the edges. Watch carefully, as the high fat content of the crackers makes it a fine line between golden delicious and burnt. Immediately move the baked crackers onto wire racks to cool.
Store your Cheez-Its at room temperature in an airtight container for up to a week.
WHO KNEW?
The Kellogg’s factory in Battle Creek, Michigan, can churn out more than 200 million Cheez-Its a day, using a 500-pound block of cheese in each batch. According to Kellogg’s, there are more than 240 crackers in each box. You’re almost there with one batch of the homemade version—stuff them into an empty Cheez-Its box and see if unsuspecting snackers can tell the difference!