Though constantly marketed with images of farms and wholesome outdoorsiness, let’s not kid ourselves: the best thing about ranch dressing is the way it goes so well with other junk foods. Dipping buffalo wings, tater tots, waffle fries, and pizza slices (don’t tell me you haven’t done it) into its creamy depths—that’s the natural order of things in ranch-land. When even fictional gourmands like Homer Simpson (who prefers it to be administered via ranch dressing hose) name-check your product, you know you’ve arrived.
YIELD: about 2 cups
TOTAL TIME: 15 minutes plus overnight chilling time
DIFFICULTY: 1
1 large or 2 small garlic cloves
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
3/4 cup (6 ounces) sour cream
1/2 cup (4 ounces) mayonnaise
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup finely minced flat-leaf parsley
1/4 cup finely minced fresh dill
1-1/2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon hot sauce
1/4 teaspoon celery seeds
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
INSTRUCTIONS:
Mince the garlic, then sprinkle with a pinch of kosher salt and slide the side of the knife against the minced garlic to mash it. Continue to chop, slide, sprinkle with salt, and smash until a coarse paste forms.
Whisk the garlic paste together with all the other ingredients in a large bowl, adding more salt and pepper to taste. Transfer to a sealed jar and chill overnight before serving; the dressing will thicken and the flavors will meld in the refrigerator.
Store the dressing in the refrigerator in an airtight container for up to a week.