20

Lilla

I stand in the hall, waiting for Jojo to come out of the bathroom. She’s been in there forever.

“We’re leaving in twenty minutes,” Harper Mom announces loudly as she comes down the hallway. “Jojo?” she asks me, pointing at the closed bathroom door.

I nod.

“Out of the bathroom, Jojo!” she shouts. “Downstairs in fifteen minutes!”

I watch the mom go into her bedroom and close the door. Remy’s already in there. He gave us the thirty-minute warning bell on his way to take a shower.

It’s crazy how two more people in a house can cause such chaos. It’s a little overwhelming. People talking all the time. Coming and going. Disagreeing. Jojo will argue about the color of the sky with her parents. I guess teenagers are supposed to be that way. I had friends at school who argued with their parents over everything. It’s not been my experience. Growing up, our house was never like this. It was just the two of us. And no one ever shouted. Or even disagreed, really. I was thinking that the number of people in a house affected the overall confusion, but I imagine it’s more complicated than that.

Leaning against the wall, I knock lightly on the bathroom door. No answer.

I’m wearing my favorite jeans and a sweater that Harper Mom insisted she buy me. After we got the cell phone this morning. After Remy and I went to temple. Temple was boring. I felt a little silly making a fuss about going, acting like my faith was a big deal, like Sharon Mom and I went all the time. But it was kind of good to sit there. It felt a little bit like my old life. And Remy was nice about it. We hardly talked walking there and back and then it was only about the fact that he skipped playing flag football to go with me. He seemed to sense I wanted to be left alone.

So, all in all, it’s been a good day. This afternoon I painted. The walls are almost done. Harper Mom wants to buy me furniture. She offered to take me to IKEA, even though it’s hours and hours from here—Houston, I think. I wanted to ask her if I seemed like an IKEA person to her, but I didn’t because that’s kind of smart-assy. And a little mean. She was just trying to be nice. If she really wants to buy me a dresser and whatever, what I’d really like is to go to some stores that sell old stuff. Not expensive antiques, just . . . interesting furniture.

I knock on the bathroom door again. “Come on, Jojo. I need to use the bathroom.”

She jerks open the door. “There’s a bathroom downstairs,” she tells me.

“But my toothbrush is in here.” I watch her prance down the hall. She’s dressed kind of weird for a visit to a nursing home. She’s wearing a short, tight, black skirt; a T-shirt; and ankle boots. And makeup.

“Mom and Dad in their room?” she asks.

“Getting ready.” I watch her go down the hall to her room. A minute later, I hear her come out of her room and close the door. She passes the bathroom door that I’ve left open while I brush my teeth. I watch her in the mirror. She’s got half of her hair up in a ponytail and half down. She’s carrying a little black crop sweater. I step out of the bathroom as she goes down the stairs.

I’m halfway to my bedroom to get my shoes when I realize why she’s dressed like that. I sit on the edge of my bed that’s still in the middle of the room. There’s a bag with sheets in it, gray and white. To replace the ugly pink ones. We bought them today. Also some underwear and a new pair of shoes. Black loafers. For the school uniform. Aunt Annie and I went to the school store and got a sweater, two gray plaid skirts, two white oxford shirts. We had to order some things, too. I have to wear a blazer sometimes. The uniform is kind of dorky, but whatever. I’ve gone to schools where I had to wear a uniform before. The good thing about it is everyone looks just as dorky as you do.

I grab my new jacket that we bought today. So I didn’t have to go to dinner wearing Remy’s hoodie. My jean jacket is hanging in my closet in the green shotgun. The new jacket is one of those fleece North Face ones like everyone wears. I’ve always secretly wanted one. We found it on sale. In gray. Harper Mom said it was obviously meant to be mine.

I flip off my bedroom light and go down the hall. Remy and Harper’s door is still shut. Just as I get to the bottom of the staircase, I hear the back door close. I stand there for a minute, debating what to do. My first impulse is that this is none of my business.

But it kind of is because it doesn’t matter whether I like it or not, these people are my family. And Remy and Harper really are trying to help me make sense of it all, make it work. Don’t I owe it to them to keep Jojo out of trouble? If nothing else, to cut down on the drama in the car ride to the nursing home?

Annoyed that Jojo would put me in this position, I go out the front door. I catch her in the backyard, just heading for the little alley that runs between our property and the one next door. “Where are you going?”

She spins around, startled.

“They said you couldn’t go to the party.”

She makes a face at me. “Who died and left you in charge? Wait. You died. But then you came back. I still don’t think that makes you my boss.”

I shake my head. I know fourteen-year-old girls act like idiots sometimes; shoot, I know sixteen-year-old girls who act like idiots, but I don’t think it has to be that way. “Think about this for a minute. It’s not like you’re going to get away with it,” I tell her.

“You got away with going to your old house without telling anyone.”

“Special circumstances,” I say.

She just stands there looking at me. Pissed.

It’s starting to rain. It’s cold and I’m glad I have the new jacket. I should thank Harper Mom for it again. I glance away, then at Jojo again. If the parents come downstairs, they’re going to wonder what we’re doing out here in the rain. Especially with Jojo dressed the way she is.

I pull up my hood. I would rather have had the jacket without the hood but it was the only one they had. Harper Mom said it was the perfect coat for NOLA winters. I should tell her she was right. Sharon used to tell me we’re always big on telling people what they do wrong. She said that was okay, but it was important to tell people when they did things right, too.

I look at Jojo standing there, shivering, in her shortie skirt, ankle boots, bare legs, and crop sweater. “If you go to the party, they’re going to drive over to Megan’s and embarrass you in front of your friends. Harper will walk right into the house and tell you to get your butt in the car. You know she will,” I say before Jojo can interrupt me.

She hugs herself, glancing in the direction of the house. “I really wanted to go to the party,” she says, all pouty. “If you weren’t here, I could go.”

I know she says it to hurt my feelings, but it doesn’t. Maybe because it’s a dumb thing to say, or maybe because I don’t care what she thinks. I guess I should care, but I don’t. “You think I wanted this to happen?” I ask. I don’t say it mean or even angry. Though I am starting to get angry. Because I’m standing in the rain having this conversation with her. “Don’t you get it, Jojo? I was happy where I was. I was happy with the life I had.”

“But Sharon kidnapped you,” she blurts out.

“Yup. She did. But she took good care of me.” Tears fill my eyes and I look away because I don’t want to cry in front of Jojo. I don’t want her to think she can make me cry. “And I could have lived the rest of my life thinking she was my mom. So don’t act like I did this on purpose. Grow up, Jojo. Stop being so selfish. Stop thinking everything is about you. Because you know what? I don’t want this, either.” I say it louder than I mean to, and then I’m quiet for a second. She’s staring at her boots. “But this is how it is. For me and for you.” I shrug. “So just get over it, Jojo.”

I start to walk back toward the house, leaving her standing there. I don’t even care if she goes to the stupid party. But I don’t think she’s going. I look back over my shoulder. “Just get in the car.”

I’m halfway back to the house when Remy appears at the back door. He holds it open for me. He’s wearing jeans and a sweater and a blazer that makes him look like a professor. “What’s up?” he says as I walk into the laundry room.

“Forgot something. Jojo’s in the car.” I don’t look at him. I don’t know what he saw from the back door.

“Okay. We’re going in a sec.”

“I’ll be right down,” I say. I take the narrow, steep back staircase that was probably used for servants back in the day. I run into Harper Mom in the hallway. She looks nice. And I swear she looks younger than she did the day I arrived here. She’s wearing black jeans and boots and a pretty blue sweater. She’s got beautiful blond hair. Jojo, too. And I’m a little envious. Brown hair’s so boring.

“Forgot something,” I say, walking past her. I go into my room. She’s still standing there in the hallway. Now what do I do? What could I have forgotten? The little cross-body bag I use for a purse is at home hanging on the end of my bed. My wallet’s in my backpack, but it seems dumb to bring that. They’re buying dinner. Why would I need my wallet?

I hear Harper Mom walking down the hall. But slowly. She’s waiting for me. I pick up the book I just started reading off the nightstand and go back out into the hall.

“Your book?”

“In case we have to wait for a table,” I say. I make a face to myself. The book is huge. I used to read on my phone a lot, but I like real books, too. But I don’t usually walk around carrying huge books like some kind of dork.

I zip in front of her and down the stairs. I make a beeline for the back door, walking past Remy, who’s standing in the kitchen. I run out the door and get into the Subaru. Jojo’s waiting in the backseat. I shut the door and put on my seat belt.

“You tell them where I was going?”

“You better wipe some of that makeup off your face,” I say. Then I open my book and pretend I’m reading.