“Don’t worry, I’m turning off the lights,” Tess reassured Dana as they prepared to leave the office. That done, she followed her friend outside and pulled the door closed behind them. “I don’t want you to—”
Abruptly, she stopped.
At the curb behind Dana’s van sat the rented pickup truck with Caleb at the wheel. And she thought she’d managed to escape him for a while.
“Here comes Nate.” Dana pointed along Signal Street.
The three of them converged on the truck at the same time.
“All aboard for the Whistlestop,” Caleb said.
Nate opened the passenger door and climbed in, moving to the seat in the rear of the cab. “C’mon, Mom.”
Tess hesitated, not wanting to sit that close to Caleb again. And especially not wanting to get in that truck after what had happened between them in it.
Nate sat staring at her impatiently. Though Caleb’s dark sunglasses hid his eyes, she could tell he watched her, too. Even Dana stepped back so that Tess could climb into the cab.
“Talk to you soon,” Dana said.
As she nodded and climbed in, she gave thanks that this would be a quick and painless trip. Nate’s chatter made the short ride go even more quickly. Still, she gave a sigh of relief when they reached the parking area of the inn.
Caleb opened the driver’s door, and Nate jumped to the ground and ran toward the house.
When Tess reached for the passenger door handle, she was startled to feel his hand clasp her wrist. She looked at him in surprise. He released her arm, closed the driver’s door and rested back against his seat.
“Let’s compare notes,” he said.
He could have chosen a better time than this. But she couldn’t say that. She couldn’t risk reminding him again of why they hadn’t discussed the property last night. She grabbed her canvas bag from the seat beside her and began rummaging in it for her pen. “All right. Where do you want to start?”
“With Nate.”
Her fingers closed convulsively on the notebook she’d just slid from the bag.
“You know,” he continued, “the first day I met her, she told me she wasn’t too happy with what you’d called her. ‘Anastasia.’ That’s different. How’d you come up with it, anyhow?”
Her nails dug half-moon dents into the notebook’s cover. She had to swallow hard before she could answer. She had to sound natural. Unconcerned. “I...looked it up in a baby-naming book. I thought it was pretty.”
“And so it is. Goes nice with the rest of her name, too. ‘Anastasia Lynn LaSalle.’ You’ve called her that a couple of times when she’s mouthed off to you. Of course, you didn’t have to find that last one in a baby book, did you?”
“No, I didn’t.” She loosened her grip on the notebook but took a firmer hold on her emotions. Nothing to worry about here. He was only making conversation, more than likely prompted by Nate’s chatter. “Now, what about that property we looked at just after lunch yesterday? The acreage is suited to what you need, and I’m sure we can get the asking price down. I’ve calculated—”
“Before we get into prices, let’s calculate a few other things.”
“Such as...”
“Years.”
She frowned, puzzled. “For a mortgage?”
“For a marriage. Yours.”
Her fingers convulsed again. If she gripped any tighter, she would risk a handful of ink when the pen broke in two. But there was no getting away from it. These weren’t idle questions Caleb was asking. The confrontation she’d dreaded since the first day she’d seen him again had now begun. That didn’t mean she’d go down without a fight. “What does my marriage have to do with anything?”
“A lot. Maybe more than I’d thought. You told me a while back it ‘didn’t work out.’ How many years would it be if you were still married now?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I’m calling you on that one, Tess. I think it is my business. You were never married at all.”
“What makes you think that? Just because Nate has my maiden name? That doesn’t mean a thing. Besides, whether I was married or not—or will marry Joe Harley or not—has nothing to do with you.”
“Maybe not. But it’s got something to do with Nate. And I should’ve seen that sooner. She’s nine years old. I’ve been gone for ten. That’s a simple enough calculation for me.”
“Don’t be so crude. Or so conceited.” She forced a laugh. “I had plenty of time to—to find another boyfriend after you left.”
“I’ll give you crude, Tess. You teased me long enough before you let me into your jeans. What are the chances you’d give away your favors to someone else only a couple months later?”
She gasped. Yes, his words had shocked her, as he’d planned. But worse, they’d hit the truth, too. She wouldn’t have gone with someone else so soon after she’d given herself to him.
Nate came out of the back door and jumped down the steps, then headed in their direction. The huge grin on her face made Tess’s heart hurt.
“Nate’s mine, isn’t she?” he demanded.
With shaking hands, she shoved her notebook and pen back into her bag. She had to get out of here.
He clasped her wrist again. “I’m not leaving this truck till you answer.”
He would feel her tremors. Would see them. She couldn’t help that. But as tears sprang to her eyes, she turned her head away. At least, she could keep him from seeing those.
Nate ran across the yard toward them.
Tess blinked furiously again. She couldn’t let Nate see her this upset, either.
“Tess.” He spoke her name gently. But relentlessly.
She slumped against her seat. Why did this conversation have to happen here? Why did it have to happen at all?
Nate was just a few yards away and coming closer, and still he pushed. “Tell me.”
“Nate is not yours,” she burst out, her voice low but harsh with threatening tears. “She’s ours.” She reached blindly for the handle and yanked it, slid from the truck and slammed the door closed behind her.
“You coming in the house?” Nate asked.
“Yes.” She’d go anywhere, do anything to avoid having to be alone with Caleb again. From behind her, she heard the driver’s door slam shut.
Surprising herself and Nate, she wrapped her arms around her daughter and squeezed tightly, wishing she would never have to let go.
To her shock, Nate returned the hug with equal enthusiasm.
* * *
Caleb still felt thrown by the news he’d learned.
Not discovering he was Nate’s daddy. No, that was the best of it all.
After he’d left Roselynn, he’d walked around with his legs as shaky as the day he’d gotten out of his hospital bed to see if he could stand again. Maybe that’s the way real daddies felt when they first saw their babies. He’d missed that step—and a few thousand others.
Thanks to Tess’s deceit.
Her refusal to tell him about Nate only underscored the feelings he’d grown up with, the beliefs that had been reinforced in his time on the circuit. Don’t get too close to people. He’d almost done that, almost trusted Tess. Almost shared his fears about having come so near to dying. Only to find she’d kept this secret from him all along.
Deep inside, he had to admit he understood that. At least, part of him did. He could see why she hadn’t told him about the baby at first. That night in Gallup, he’d obsessed over winning his event, claiming his prize. Gaining the proof that showed how right he’d been to leave Flagman’s Folly. And then wanting to show that proof to Tess. He’d sure messed that up.
Yet, another part of him didn’t understand Tess’s betrayal at all. That had been one night, one conversation. Since then, she’d had years to make another attempt to contact him, and still she’d kept the truth hidden. Even when he’d come back to town, she hadn’t told him.
A while after he’d left Roselynn, he’d driven to Tess’s office. Finding Nate and Dana there had put an end to any chance of talking to Tess alone. And when they’d gotten back to the inn, she had nearly run from the truck into the house.
Now he heard her footsteps in the hallway coming from the direction of her room. Easing his door ajar, he stood in the opening, waiting. No way would she get by him again, as she’d done downstairs, sticking close to Nate from the minute they’d come into the house so he wouldn’t have a chance to talk with her alone. She’d come up here the same time as Nate, too, managing to cut him off again.
But she had run out of options for evading him.
Roselynn and Ellamae had never left the kitchen. Nate had gone into her room but had barreled down the stairs a few minutes ago. No one left up here but the two of them.
Her footsteps neared. He stood his ground, and when she saw him in the doorway, she froze.
He caught her gaze and held it long enough to send his message. Then he backed a couple of paces and swung the door open wider.
She sighed and waited.
So did he.
It could almost have been a replay of that first night he’d spent at the inn. Only now, a lot more had passed between them. A lot of empty words. No one pitied you, Caleb. Not everyone thought less of you. When he’d asked her if she’d felt that way, she had shaken her head.
Yet she’d kept his daughter from him.
She stepped into the room, closed the door and turned to face him. She had freshened up, pulling her hair back with some sparkly combs, putting color into her cheeks. Adding something shiny to her lips that made them look softer than ever and ready for a kiss.
And damn him, he wanted to kiss her again.
She leaned back against the door, as if wanting as much distance between them as she could get. “Can we just let this go?”
Anger fired through him, making his hands shake. “I don’t know,” he said, proud of keeping his voice low. Not so proud of his struggle to drag his attention from her mouth. “You could try distracting me.”
The flare of anticipation in her eyes almost crushed him.
She didn’t want him, she just hoped to put off having this conversation. To avoid making the truth known to everyone.
Disgusted with himself, he moved over to the bureau and pawed through a drawer for a couple of bandannas. It would be hot working outside in the sun.
Not as hot as he felt inside this room.
In the mirror, he could see her staring at him. Could almost see her thoughts turning in her head. She might not want him, but he sure as hell felt the need for her—to make love or to settle a score, he couldn’t tell right now. Just as well he’d never find out.
“No sense getting off course, is there?” he asked. “That’s what brought us here today.” He faced her again, opened his mouth, then shut it. Wincing inwardly, he thought of what she’d said to him in the truck earlier.
Don’t be so crude.
He had the right to what he was going to say now. But he didn’t have to be offensive about it. Despite everything, she had done a good job raising their daughter, with no help from him. He had to give her that.
That’s all he’d allow.
“I’m going to talk with Nate.”
“No.” She surged forward, stumbled to a stop halfway across the room to him. “I won’t let you do that.”
“Let?”
She lifted her hands palm-up, then dropped them to her sides, but not soon enough for him to miss seeing she was the one shaking now. “All right. Then I’m asking you, Caleb. Don’t do this.”
Unable to stop himself, he laughed shortly. “Did you think I’d just walk away and forget what you told me?”
“No, I didn’t expect you to forget. But walk away? Yes. Why wouldn’t I think that? You’ve done it before.”
“And you’ll never let me off the hook for it.”
She shoved her hand through the air, pushing his words away. “That’s not what I meant. Not what we’re talking about. It’s Nate I’m thinking of. We can’t just tell her this now and then go out for the day as if nothing had happened.”
Being called crude, he’d accepted, but he’d be damned if he’d let her think him cruel and not defend himself. “What the hell makes you think I’d do that? Give me some credit, Tess. I won’t tell her today. And I won’t hit her point-blank with the news. You can pave the way for the conversation. But I’ll be the one to tell her.”
“What good will it do for you to talk to her? You’re leaving again soon. She’s never known about you. She doesn’t need to know now.”
“Who said that’s for you to decide?”
“I’m her mother.”
“And I’m her daddy.”
“Yes,” she shot back, “and it will be better for her if she never knows that.”
The heat of her words slammed into him. She couldn’t have made her feelings more plain, her rejection more final. He’d wanted the real reason behind her refusal to tell him about Nate even after all the years. Now he had it.
Even after she had said she’d never looked down on him.
He had to take a breath before he could respond. Before he could think at all. Still, her belief didn’t make him any less determined.
He crossed the room, walking past her without looking, and threw open the door. “I’m telling Nate the news, Tess. When I do, you can be there for the conversation or not. Your choice.”
* * *
Caleb drove the final nail into the wood and eyed Sam Robertson’s new chicken coop with satisfaction. Amazing what a little hard labor could do for a man’s aggressions.
All afternoon, he’d managed to act as though he hadn’t a worry in the world.
The way Tess had kept up her lies for all these years. How hard had that been for her? And after the truth she’d kept from him, why should he care? Because she was the mother of his child?
The thought made him hot and cold at the same time. He swung the hammer again.
“Not bad for amateurs, huh?” Sam asked.
A few of his ranch hands had helped with the work, but they’d all taken off to shower, leaving the two of them to finish up.
Caleb dropped the hammer into the box with the other tools. “Looks like a pro job to me. Besides, I wouldn’t call you an amateur. I saw that workshop of yours in the bunkhouse. And Dori told me you made the sign over the door at the Double S.”
Sam shrugged. “Thanks.” He finished rolling up the last of the tarps they’d used.
“I could do with a couple of those for next week,” Caleb said. “I’m getting ready to do some painting over at the Whistlestop.”
He’d already told Roselynn he’d do the work. Besides, he planned to stick around, no matter how Tess felt about him. No matter how much he wanted to walk away from her now. He wouldn’t leave until he’d told Nate the truth.
“Help yourself,” Sam said. “Let me know if you need a hand. I can send some of the boys over your way.”
“That’s not necessary. It’s only one small room. It won’t take much time.”
Sam grinned. “Tess has you working, huh?”
“Roselynn does.”
“Good thing. It’ll keep you out of trouble.”
“Maybe.” More than likely, it would keep him in Roselynn’s good graces, that was all. If she would still speak to him after she found out he’d confronted Tess.
Roselynn and Ellamae had been working hard in the kitchen when he’d left to drive over here with Nate. And with Tess, who hadn’t said anything at all to him directly since she’d walked out of his room.
“Let me get us a refill.” Sam went over to the insulated water cooler his wife, Kayla, and Tess had kept refilled.
Caleb stripped off his T-shirt and felt the pull of the scar tissue on his chest. Remembered the feel of Tess’s hand as she’d touched him there.
He used the T-shirt to scrub the sweat from his face. Along with working off aggressions, the hot sun and hard labor made for good physical therapy. His knee hadn’t given him much trouble at all. Too bad he couldn’t say the same about his thoughts.
Despite everything, thinking of Tess while he’d worked had made him hot, bothered and troubled.
Catching sight of her across Sam’s yard throughout the day hadn’t helped, either. She wore a pair of jeans that fit her well enough to destroy his concentration—a dangerous thing for a man with a hammer in his hand. If that wasn’t bad enough, she wore another blouse with an elastic neck that had him fixating on what had happened the day before.
He’d obsessed over that damned blouse all day yesterday, waiting for the chance to slide it off her shoulders and do just what he had done. He shook his head at the memory.
They had experienced some intense times as teenagers, but he’d never felt the way he had in that truck. Their talk had broken new ground, too, carrying them to the verge of a closeness they’d never arrived at years ago.
A closeness that could lead him into making promises he couldn’t keep.
That morning, as he’d sat staring at her during breakfast, his mind had kept running through the whole list of reasons he didn’t want to get involved with her.
Now he had to get involved. At least at some level.
Sam returned and handed him an oversize tumbler filled with cold water. He downed a gulp of it and settled back against the fence beside the coop. Across the yard, Tess and Kayla and Sam’s mother worked at setting up for the barbecue. Folks would start showing up before too long.
On the back porch, Nate sat with Sam’s five-year-old, Becky. Their hands waved in the air as they talked to each other in sign language.
“Looks like the girls get along,” he offered.
Sam smiled. “They do. Nate’s a good kid to spend so much time with a little one like Becky.”
Nate was a good kid, despite her frequent shortness with her mama. He’d begun to care too much about both of them. At the same time, he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he’d missed of Nate’s life—thanks to Tess’s lies.
Why was he wasting time over thoughts that would only tear him apart? In the long run, obsessing wouldn’t change anything. He knew what he would do. His childhood here in town, his ten years in rodeo, his talk with Tess just the day before—they had all paved the way to his decision.
He tightened his grip on the T-shirt he’d stripped off, trying to stop thoughts of yesterday. They came to him, anyway.
Tess had wanted to know what knowledge he’d gained from being on the rodeo circuit. Chances were, his answer wouldn’t have pleased her. He’d learned a lot. And of all the lessons the circuit had taught him, he thought again of the one he’d learned especially well: No sense in forming personal ties. They don’t last.
For some people, anyhow. They seemed to have worked out fine for Sam Robertson. Caleb could hear the pride in the man’s voice every time he talked about Becky.
He swallowed another gulp of water that seemed to clog in his throat. Clearing it, he said, “Tess told me Becky came to live with you not that long ago. That must have made some big changes in your life.”
“It sure did.” Sam looked across the yard at his wife and daughter.
The smile on his face made Caleb feel suddenly envious. On the one hand.
On the other hand, it made him want to bolt.
What did he know about being a daddy?
“I guess you’ve gone through a few changes lately, too,” Sam said.
Caleb frowned. Then he realized Sam must have meant his rodeo career. “Been a crazy time,” he agreed. He paused, then went on, “Judge Baylor told me about you two coming to the hospital.”
“Yeah. The news stories had started to slow down. Folks wanted an update on how you were doing.”
“I wouldn’t think they’d send a posse as far as Dallas to find out.”
“We figured firsthand was the only way we’d get information. We’d have gone clear to the East Coast, if we’d needed to. Trust me on that.” Sam picked up the water cooler. “I’d better go check the barbecue before I hit the shower.”
Caleb nodded and watched the other man walk away.
Somehow, he did trust Sam Robertson. They hadn’t run into each other much when he lived in town, but when they did, the man had always been decent.
Sam said folks had cared when he’d had the accident. A big concept to wrap his head around. Growing up, hardly anyone had bothered about him. Yet, since his return, all the townsfolk had shown him interest and concern.
Sam said pretty much the same things the judge had said.
Did that mean he had to trust the judge’s words, too? About everything?
He unclamped his fingers from his T-shirt and tossed it onto one shoulder. Slowly, he smiled. That chip Judge Baylor claimed he carried around had just started to slide out of place.
Then he glanced across the yard again and felt his smile slide out of place, too.
Since his return, all he’d gotten from Tess was the feeling she wanted him gone. Or was it?
In the truck yesterday, he’d taken it upon himself to back off, out of respect for her. Before he’d done that, though, she had started warming up in a way he sure liked.
She’d seemed willing enough to get close to him that morning, too. At least till Ellamae had shown up.
He looked over toward the trestle tables in the yard.
Tess’s face lit as she listened to something Kayla told Sam. Her cheeks flushed pink from sunshine or laughter or her movements as she leaned down to smooth a cloth over the tabletop. Even from here, he could see a sparkle in her eyes.
What would’ve happened if he hadn’t backed off yesterday?
And why the hell was he thinking about it?
After that confrontation in his bedroom, nothing could happen between them now.