‘Who’s this little chap?’ Rich asked as he received a very enthusiastic greeting from Gelert at the back door.
Holly finished wiping the kitchen table.
‘That is Gelert.’
‘Hello, Gelert.’ He crouched down and rubbed the pup’s chin. ‘I didn’t know you were getting a dog.’
Holly shook her head. ‘Neither did I, but Fran needed someone to look after him. She had to leave suddenly yesterday after her father was taken ill.’
She rinsed the cloth in the sink, squeezed the water from it then washed her hands. As she dried them, she stood for a moment gazing out at the yard. It was early Saturday morning and sunshine warmed the kitchen, making her feel relaxed and a bit sleepy. She was still in her pyjamas, with her fleecy dressing gown over the top; she’d had a restless night, getting up to Gelert as he settled into his new surroundings. In the end, she’d taken his bed upstairs and set it on the landing outside her door – which she’d left open a crack – and the pup had finally settled.
‘Sorry I couldn’t get here last night. I was waiting for a delivery at the… at the office, and by the time it came and I’d sorted the paperwork, it was late.’
‘It’s okay.’ Holly smiled at him. ‘I got your text.’
‘I know, but I hated not being here. I like saying goodnight to Luke properly.’
Rich stood up and approached the reclining highchair, where Luke was chewing on a teething ring, held in safely with a five-point harness designed for smaller babies. Gelert followed him closely, watching what he was doing.
‘Good morning, Luke!’
The baby squealed with delight as his dad lifted him from the chair and blew raspberries on his cheeks.
‘Do you fancy doing something today?’ Rich asked Holly as he bounced his son on his hip.
‘Like what?’
‘We could take a walk in the village and perhaps grab some lunch.’
Holly glanced down at herself.
‘I need to dress first.’
‘That’s fine.’ Rich handed Luke the teething ring from the tray of the highchair. ‘I’ll watch Luke while you take a nice bath. There’s no hurry.’
‘That would be wonderful. Are you sure?’
‘Of course.’
An hour later, Holly had enjoyed a soak in the tub, dressed and drunk a strong coffee, then got Luke’s things together. As Rich strapped the baby into his pram, she located her purse and mobile and popped them into the changing bag.
‘Right, I think I’ve got everything.’
‘You going out, dears?’ Granny padded into the kitchen in her nightgown and slippers. Her hair was sticking out at the side and she had a crease on one cheek from her pillow.
‘Yes, we’re going for a walk.’ Holly looked at Rich and he nodded. ‘Would you like to come too, Granny?’
‘Oh no, sweetheart, thank you. I’ve a list of jobs to do today.’
‘Like what?’ Holly frowned. Her granny shouldn’t be worrying about getting things done; she should be relaxing or going out and enjoying the sunshine.
Granny waved a hand. ‘I promised your dad I’d help him look for some furniture for the barn on the internet, and I need to catch up on my… TV.’
‘Oh, all right then.’
‘To be honest, Holly, I’m exhausted. I’ve been keeping so busy that I really could do with a day at home resting.’ She carried the mug of coffee she’d made to the table and sat down.
‘Of course. Well I’ve got my mobile, so ring if you need me.’
‘Is your father out already?’ Granny asked.
‘Yes. He went out to the winery first thing. He’ll probably be back soon for a drink.’ Holly turned to Rich. ‘Shall we go?’
‘Sure.’
As he pushed the pram out of the door, there was a whine from under the table, and Holly looked down to see Gelert gazing at her, his soft brown eyes unblinking.
‘What is it?’
He crept closer to her and held up a paw, and realization hit her.
‘You want to go for a walk too?’
He jumped up and started circling on the kitchen tiles, his tail wagging furiously and his mouth open as if he were smiling.
Holly grabbed his lead and harness off the hook by the door and knelt down. ‘Come on then, boy. I guess this is how we roll while you’re staying with us.’
Rich pulled into the large car park at the top of the hill that led down into the village. They got Luke and Gelert out of the car and the dog skipped about with excitement.
‘I can’t believe I didn’t think about bringing him,’ Holly said as they strolled down the hill.
‘Family pets, eh?’ Rich laughed. ‘He seems to adore you and Luke. When you went for your bath, he didn’t take his eyes off me, as if he thought I might steal Luke away.’
‘It’s good that he’s protective.’
‘Definitely. I feel better knowing you have an extra bodyguard.’
‘An extra bodyguard?’
‘Well, you know… When I’m with you, I can look out for you and Luke, but when I’m not there, Gelert can do it.’
‘I never thought of you as a bodyguard type, Rich.’ Holly stared straight ahead as they walked, her eyes fixed on the horizon. Rich wished she would look at him, but had a feeling she was deliberately avoiding doing so.
‘There’s a lot you don’t know about me, and probably vice versa. Perhaps we need to get to know each other all over again.’ He held his breath.
‘Seeing as how we have a child together, that does sound sensible.’
Sensible? His heart sank. He couldn’t tell in what capacity Holly wanted to know him and he was afraid to ask in case he scared her away. In light of his other, grander planned gesture, things could go very wrong if he hoped for too much. The last thing he wanted was to drive her from Greenacres and to lose her and Luke. He needed to tread carefully.
They walked the rest of the way in silence, occasionally pausing for the dog to sniff at lamp posts and grass, and Rich focused on the gentle warmth of the late May sunshine on his face, the sounds his son made in the pram and the way the sea glittered as if filled with millions of tiny diamonds. The air was sweet and fresh, laced with a salty tang, the gulls cawed overhead, the beating of their wings hypnotic and regular as a heartbeat, and out at sea, a ship’s horn sounded. He’d been here hundreds of times before, experienced these things hundreds of times, and yet today they were different. It was as if he was experiencing them all for the first time.
And in a way, he was – this was the first time he’d come into the village with Holly and his son. The first time he’d felt the lightening of the burden he’d carried for so long. Holly’s presence at his side, the fragrance of her perfume as she accidentally brushed against him, and the ready smile of their baby son all made everything feel so much better. It was as though his eyes were open now, as though he was fully awake, whereas before he’d been sleepwalking through life, waiting for something to wake him up or to make him pay for what had happened to Dean.
He’d felt to blame for so long, for taking his brother out into the water like that and for failing to help him when he’d struggled. The worst thing that could have happened to Rich after losing Dean had actually happened, and it had been his own fault. He had lost Holly. But he had survived and sought help, and being with Holly now was different because he was different. It had taken his time away then returning to Penhallow Sands to bring him to this point, as if he’d almost come full circle in his journey. Being away from Holly had enabled him to clear his mind and to accept that he did have deep feelings for her. His guilt and grief had clouded his mind for a long time, but as they eased, helped by Holly’s gentle presence and Luke’s joyous one, Rich actually felt that he could see a future.
Life could be good. He just needed to release himself from the final threads of his guilt, and he suspected that Holly was the one person who could help him to do that.
As they neared the street where Shell’s Shack was located, the aromas of coffee and freshly baked cakes drifted towards them, making Rich’s stomach grumble. The wind chimes outside the café tinkled in the breeze, making him think of children’s laughter, of the happy, carefree times before his life had changed. Before he’d lost his way, forgotten who he was and who he wanted to be, and sunk into a darkness that he hadn’t thought he’d emerge from. It had been Holly who had kept him going then, her sweetness and her strength that had buoyed him up every time he thought he’d disappear completely.
And how had he thanked her?
By breaking her heart.
It was her complete forgiveness that he needed to release those final threads. She’d told him more than once that she did accept his apology, but as his mother had always said, actions spoke louder than words, and Rich knew he needed to see it in Holly’s eyes, to feel it in her embrace.
‘Do you want to buy some food and we can have a picnic on the beach?’ he asked. Holly looked so pretty this morning with her bobbed blonde hair pushed behind her ears and the blue of her eyes brought out by the colours of her nautical striped hoodie. In faded jeans and white laced pumps, she was dressed simply but it was her style. It was perfect.
‘As long as I can have cake as well as sandwiches.’ She flashed him a smile.
‘You can have two cakes if you want.’
They went into the café and ordered food to go, then took their purchases down to the seafront. Rich pushed the pram down the ramp to the sand and they made their way automatically towards the rocks near the craggy cliffs that hugged the bay to the right.
When they reached a sheltered spot that was out of the breeze and offered shade from the sun, Rich set the brake on the pram and Holly crouched down and pulled out a picnic blanket from the basket underneath the car seat.
‘You’ve come prepared.’
‘I’m a mum now. I have to carry everything but the kitchen sink.’
Rich helped her to spread the blanket out over the sand, then placed rocks at the corners to hold it in place. He went back to the pram to get Luke out, but the baby was asleep, so he pulled up the hood and tucked the soft blanket around his body. Even though it was sunny, the wind down on the beach was cool and he didn’t want Luke getting chilled while he slept.
Holly had settled Gelert on the blanket, and Rich watched as she gave him a drink of water from a small metal bowl, then produced a chew stick that she handed to the dog in exchange for a high-five.
‘It seems you did think of everything.’ His voice was filled with admiration, and Holly’s cheeks flushed.
‘I just grabbed them before we left. It’ll keep him quiet for a bit. Fran said the chews help keep his teeth clean.’
Holly handed Rich the bag from Shell’s Shack, and he spread the contents out in front of them, ensuring that the coffee cups stayed upright by planting them firmly in the sand. Then he unwrapped the toasted cheese paninis they’d ordered, along with the slices of chocolate cake and Bakewell tart.
‘Here’s to a happy, healthy and successful summer.’ He held his cup up, and Holly gently tapped hers against it.
‘I hope it is.’ She bit her lip, then raised her eyes to meet his. ‘Dad has put so much into the vineyard. If it goes wrong…’
‘Hey.’ He touched her hand. ‘It won’t go wrong. And don’t forget the effort and hard work you’ve put in too. You’ve been a major part of the changes. You came up with most of the ideas, and your website is fantastic. Nicole is very positive about promoting Greenacres’ grand reopening, as am I. It will be a great success.’
Holly nodded. ‘Thanks, Rich. I needed to hear that.’
They ate their paninis gazing out across the beach. Families strolled on the sand and settled in spots near the sea so their children could build sandcastles and paddle in the water. It was warm enough that some would probably venture in for a swim, but the more sensible would wait for a few more weeks. Dogs barked excitedly as they raced around, making the most of their freedom, as come mid June, they’d be allowed on the beach only on leads until October arrived.
‘Are you having cake or tart?’ Holly asked when they’d finished their paninis.
‘I thought you wanted both.’
She smiled. ‘I’m fuller than I thought I’d be; I’ll start with cake and see if I have any room left.’
The chocolate cake was shiny with frosting that cracked as Holly pushed her plastic fork into it, and Rich tried not to smile as he watched her enjoying it.
‘That was amazing.’ She licked her fork, then put it in the cardboard box with her napkin.
Rich laughed.
‘What?’
‘You have some on your cheek.’
‘Where?’ She rubbed the wrong side.
‘Let me.’ He used his napkin to wipe away the chocolate frosting, and when he pulled his hand away, he found Holly’s eyes glued to his face, her pupils large and dark.
‘Rich… do you ever wonder what things might have been like if…’
‘If I hadn’t messed up so royally?’
‘Yes.’
‘I wish with all my heart that I could change the past.’ It would be so easy to dwell on that, but it wouldn’t get them anywhere, and Rich knew too well the cost of dwelling on what might have been. ‘Sadly, all I can do is be a better man from here on and do my best to make the future as good as it can be.’
‘I know. I just… I think about it sometimes.’ She cleared her throat. ‘A lot, actually. Being home and around you so much has made it difficult not to.’
‘I think about what it could have been like too, but I try not to beat myself up for making a mess of things.’
‘You do?’
He nodded. ‘We had some good times, didn’t we?’
‘The best times of my life. Until Luke arrived, that is.’ She glanced at the pram as if to emphasize her point. ‘He’s the best thing I’ve ever done.’
‘I can’t imagine life without him either.’ Rich smiled. ‘Hey… remember that night when we had a barbecue in the dunes and couldn’t find marshmallows anywhere, so Josh tried to use chocolate teacakes instead?’
‘Yes, I do! The chocolate melted completely, leaving the inside of the cakes all sticky, and then the jam burnt.’
‘It stank.’
‘It was all done to impress Fran, you know.’
‘Even then she had plenty of admirers.’
‘I’m surprised she’s never met anyone she could fall for.’
‘She’s picky. And she’s also too busy, I think, with everything else. Mind you, she’ll probably fall in love with an Italian hunk and come home married.’
‘I guess anything’s possible with Fran,’ Rich said, and they laughed in agreement. He paused, then said more quietly, ‘Sometimes I think anything is possible if you want it enough.’
Holly pushed her hair behind her ears, then met his eyes.
‘I think you’re right.’
Holly and Rich walked along the seafront, making their way towards the bakery. As they entered the small shop, the delicious aromas of cakes, bread and pastries greeted them. It was a mouth-watering and familiar scent, taking Holly back through the years to all the times she’d come in here after they’d been swimming or spent a day at the beach, when they’d wolf down pies, pasties, cakes and freshly baked crusty rolls.
Rich’s parents had run the bakery for as long as Holly had known them, and being there again sent a rush of emotions hurtling through her. After Rich’s mother had ranted at her last year, Holly had thought she’d lost Lucinda and Rex as well as Rich, and it had been terribly painful. She’d lost her own mum, and Lucinda had stepped into the breach and helped her to cope, so when the older woman had told her she wasn’t good enough for her son, it had torn her apart inside. Holly wanted to rebuild their relationship, but she knew it was going to take time. Lucinda had made it clear that she was sorry for what she’d done, and Holly didn’t want her to suffer for a moment of anger. People said things in the heat of the moment that they didn’t mean and lived to regret them. Could the same be said of their actions too? Rich had done things that he said he regretted, and although it had been a build-up of emotions over a period of time, it had all come to a head that day last year. Sometimes things needed to boil over so they could be seen for what they were and people could move on. Things were moving on here, and Holly wanted to play her part.
Time passed so quickly, and life could change in an instant. When she’d walked away from Penhallow Sands, she’d tried to put her home, her family, Rich and his family from her mind, but they’d always been there, simmering below the surface, reminders of a life she had once treasured.
‘Hello, my darlings!’ Lucinda smiled from behind the counter. A hairnet was visible underneath her red baseball cap, and her round cheeks were almost the same shade as the cap. She waved a hand in front of her face. ‘It’s so warm in here today.’
She came around the counter and headed straight for the pram.
‘I swear he’s growing bigger every day.’
Holly nodded. ‘I can’t keep up with how quickly he changes.’
‘He’ll be thirty-four before you can look round.’ Lucinda shook her head. ‘Like my baby.’ She nudged Rich, and he grimaced.
‘Mum!’
‘What?’ She laughed. ‘You’ll always be my little boy.’
Rich blushed at his mother’s teasing.
‘Can I get you anything?’ she asked. ‘Something to eat or drink?’
‘I’m fine, thanks,’ Rich replied. ‘What about you, Holly?’
‘No thank you. We haven’t long had lunch and I’m stuffed.’
‘Actually, Mum, we thought we’d head up to the cottage and have a cuppa with you and Dad when you get home.’
Lucinda’s eyes lit up. ‘That would be lovely.’ She turned to the counter. ‘Rex! Come out here.’
Rex came through the doorway from the kitchen.
‘Hello, you two! You four, I mean.’
Holly was holding Gelert on a tight leash, but his tail wagged enthusiastically.
‘Who’s this little chap?’ Rex asked.
‘I meant to ask that myself, but I was so pleased to see them all.’ Lucinda crouched down and rubbed the dog’s head. ‘He’s a cutie, isn’t he?’
‘This is Gelert. He’s Fran’s dog but she had to go and see her father, so I’m looking after him,’ Holly explained.
‘I heard via the village grapevine that her father isn’t well. Hope he recovers, love him.’
A pang of concern filled Holly’s chest as she thought of her friend. Part of her wished she could have gone to Italy with Fran to support her, but she also knew that her friend was fiercely independent and would probably have refused to allow her to tag along, even if she hadn’t got a young baby and the vineyard shop and website to run.
‘Right… we’ll see you at home then.’ Rich opened the door and Holly walked through it with Gelert while Rich pushed the pram out.
‘See you soon!’ Lucinda waved at them, and as they walked away, Holly heard her say, ‘Rex! Let’s close early today. I want to spend some time with Holly and our grandson.’
It warmed her right through, deepening her sense of being home, right where she should have been all along. Everything was going to be all right again.
Holly was sitting on a patio chair in Lucinda and Rex’s back garden, listening to Lucinda reminisce about Rich’s childhood while she cuddled her grandson. She’d wrapped him in a shawl she’d crocheted, and he was sucking at his bottle and gazing up at her. Rex had decided to do some puppy training with Gelert on the lawn. The dog was playing along but seemed far more interested in the treats Rex was offering him than in actually getting things right.
The evening was mild and they’d been outside for hours, sitting out there to eat their supper of Rex’s home-made carrot and coriander soup accompanied by crusty granary rolls from the bakery. It had been followed by lemon tart with a shortcrust base so light it melted in the mouth and a dollop of Cornish clotted cream. After their picnic as well, Holly felt as if she might pop.
‘My Richard was a boy and a half.’ Lucinda chuckled. ‘He came into the room one time when Rex was watching a nature documentary and asked him, “Why has that octopus got so many testicles?” It sent us into fits of giggles.’
‘Of course I meant tentacles,’ Rich said from Holly’s side. ‘But I was only about five.’
‘Ah yes, so you were.’ Lucinda nodded. ‘And there was that time when he was even younger and we’d taken him to the fair. We were waiting in line to go on the baby rides and I was handing him popcorn one bit at a time. There were people in front of us and behind us, and lots of little children eager to get on the ride. All of a sudden Rich shouted out, “Can I have more COCKPORN, Mummy?” I swear I was so embarrassed I thought I’d faint.’
Holly laughed, holding her sides as tears rolled down her face. ‘That is so funny, Rich! What a rude thing to say.’
‘It wasn’t my fault. What was I… about two or three?’ Rich was smiling too, clearly enjoying seeing his mum so relaxed.
‘Would you like some more wine, Holly?’ Lucinda pointed at the bottle on the table.
Holly glanced at Rich. He hadn’t touched a drop as he was driving her and Luke home, but Holly had enjoyed a glass with dinner.
‘Have another one, Hols, it’s fine.’ Rich picked up the bottle.
‘Go on then, just one more.’
‘I guess we have plenty of funny times ahead to enjoy with Luke, don’t we?’ Holly said.
Rich nodded.
‘He’ll bring you so much happiness. That’s the thing about parenthood.’ Lucinda gazed down at Luke, her expression softening as he gripped her thumb in his little fist. ‘Your children bring you worry, they bring you a vulnerability you never knew existed, but they bring so much joy and so much love.’
Holly’s throat tightened. She knew what Lucinda had been through and wished she could take that pain away. She bit the inside of her cheek to try to stop herself getting emotional. A gentle touch on her shoulder made her turn to meet Rich’s reassuring gaze. He knew what she was thinking. Of course he did. She reached out and took his hand, lacing her fingers between his.
There was so much in life to fear, so much to worry about and so much that could go wrong, and yet… there was so much to enjoy and to treasure.
Moments like this, for example.