Diana opened the French doors into the great room. Her parents and Susan were gathered there. The conversation stopped when they saw her. She didn’t comment on that fact, but instead glanced around the room. She and Trace had stood stiffly beside each other as they thanked each person for attending the picnic. They didn’t say a word to each other. When the last guest left, they’d turned and went their separate ways.
“Where’s Nicky?” she snapped.
Her mother tilted her head at her tone. “Rosa called Luca to tell her Nicky was back. She arrived about an hour ago,” Estelle said.
A dark frown creased Diana’s brow. “I know Luca is his nanny, but I can take care of him while she finishes her vacation. Rosa didn’t need to call her. I’m tired of people thinking I’m helpless and can’t make a decision.” There was heavy silence while she stalked to a chair and sat. Her mother was the first to speak.
“What’s wrong with you, Diana?”
“There’s nothing wrong with me.”
Russell Hamilton moved to the chair nearest to Diana’s and took her small hand in his large one. “Honey, no one is saying you’re incapable of making a decision or that you are helpless. No one doubts your mothering skills. You’re a very good mother.” He paused. “We taught you manners. You don’t enter a room in a disrespectful manner or with attitude. Now what’s all this about?”
Diana glanced at her mother. “You mean Mama hasn’t told you?”
Puzzled, Russell looked at his wife and then back at his daughter. “Told me what?”
“Diana, I told you I wouldn’t tell your father. It’s up to you to do so.”
“Will someone tell me what’s going on?
Standing, Diana removed her hand. Not wanting to see the pain in his face, she paced while she talked.
“Five years ago I made a decision. Today it came back to haunt me.”
Confusion clouded her father’s eyes. Knowing there was no better way to say it, Diana took a deep breath. “When I married John, I was pregnant with Trace’s child—and I knew it.” She paused. “I never told Trace about Nicky.”
“What?”
“Instead of informing Trace of my pregnancy, I went to John for help.”
“I don’t understand this. John married you knowing you were carrying Trace’s child?”
“Yes, he did. Trace and I had broken up. I was scared. I didn’t know where to turn. Since I refused to tell Trace about the pregnancy, John suggested we get married.”
Russell frowned. Ignoring the first revelation, his frown grew fierce. “What the hell do you mean you were scared and didn’t know where to turn?”
“John—”
“No, Estelle, I want our daughter to answer the question. When have we ever been the type of parents whose children can’t come to us when they’re in trouble?”
“Daddy—”
“No, you listen. Not only did you not come to us, but you married one man while pregnant with another’s child. I don’t understand it, nor do I condone it.”
“Daddy, when I left Trace I didn’t know I was pregnant, at least I didn’t know for sure. I had been feeling nauseous a few weeks before the breakup but attributed it to stress. At the time, I was the lead marketing rep at Pisano; I was working on my first big project and I wanted to do well. I thought my nerves were causing the nausea.”
“It doesn’t excuse your actions, Diana. You should’ve come to your mother and me.” Her father shook his head in disbelief. “With the childhood Trace had, what made you think he wouldn’t want to know his own child? The man was shuttled between his father, mother, and uncle all of his childhood and you denied him his child.”
“I might have made a mistake keeping Nicky from Trace.”
“You did make a mistake. Now what are you going to do about it?”
“Trace and I will come to some sort of agreement.”
“Does Nicky know Trace is his father?”
“No.”
“My God, Diana!”
Touching his arm, Estelle got his attention. “Russell, you need to calm down.”
“I’m calm, Estelle.” He gave Diana a long, hard look. “People make mistakes, but you went against everything we taught you. It makes me feel I failed somewhere down the line because you turned to your boss and not us.”
Tears swelled up in Diana’s eyes. She ached at the hurt she had caused them. Never had she wanted to see pain on their faces. It tore at her that she was the cause of it. She needed to make them see that her decision had nothing to do with them. Her insecurity in the relationship with Trace had been the catalyst.
“I’m sorry I have hurt you. It wasn’t my intention. John was not only my employer, he was also my friend. I was so ashamed. I’d let you both down. By marrying John, I wanted to make everything right.”
“Your father and I do understand.” Estelle gave her husband’s arm a gentle squeeze. “Don’t we?”
Russell was silent for a long moment. “I still can’t believe you kept Nicky away from Trace, and that John agreed to it.”
“John only agreed because I threatened to leave North Carolina. He didn’t want that for my baby or me. You know how John was about family.”
Russell frowned. “And you don’t know how we feel about family?
“Russell!” Estelle tilted her head and shot him a stern look.
“Diana, we never questioned your marriage to John, although your mother and I were surprised you married a man you only had introduced to us as your boss. We couldn’t understand how you could go from one man to another, especially with them being related. However, we had raised you right and prayed you knew what you were doing.” He paused. “Was your marriage the reason for the rift in John’s and Trace’s relationship?”
“Yes,” she said softly.
“Didn’t you stop and think what your marriage would do to the relationship between Trace and John? My God, they were more like father and son than uncle and nephew.”
“No, I didn’t think.”
“You’re right, Diana. You didn’t think,” her father said in a stern disapproving voice.
“Russell, I believe you’ve said enough for one evening. It’s getting late and we need to get on the road,” Estelle said.
“You don’t have to leave. You can stay the night and leave in the morning,” Diana offered.
“No. It’s best if you and Trace have some time alone. You don’t need a third party involved,” Diana’s mother said.
“Estelle, we still haven’t settled anything.”
“Dear, it’s not for us to settle. It’s for Trace and Diana to do the settling.”
“But I don’t understand—”
“Russell Hamilton, it’s none of our business,” she said sternly.
He relented. “Yes, dear.”
“Now kiss your daughter goodbye.” Russell obliged and engulfed Diana in a large hug. Her mother stretched out her arms and Diana went into them and rested her head on her mother’s shoulder.
“Diana, we love you. We’re here for you,” her mother said with a smile.
“I know.”
Her mother paused. “Diana, we can take Nicky with us.”
Remembering Trace’s threat, she said, “No, Mama, it’s best if he stays here. Trace and Nicky need to get to know each other.”
“Okay. Please call us—”
“I’ll be fine.”
Susan, who sat quietly during the exchange, walked over and gave each parent a hug. With a last look at Diana, Estelle said, “We’ll call when we get to Savannah.” Grabbing Russell by the hand, she ushered him out the door. “Come on, Russell.”
After they left, Susan gave Diana a hug. “You okay?”
Nodding, Diana moved out of Susan’s embrace. She ran her hands through her hair and pinched the end of her nose to keep the tears at bay. “I have never seen my father so angry. Not even when I was five and used his Sunday church shoes as boats in the bathtub.” She gave a small smile at the memory.
“Diana, your father loves you. He just needs time. I’m sure he’ll come around.”
“Eventually. I hope he’ll understand what I did. The hurt in his eyes wounded me more than his anger. I have never disappointed him before.”
Susan took both of her hands and said, “Diana, you are not infallible. We disappoint people, but life moves on. Your parents didn’t put you on a pedestal. I think you did that yourself. You wanted to be perfect for them and it didn’t work.”
Diana sighed and sat on the loveseat. “Maybe you’re right. I always wanted them to be proud of me.”
“They are. They accept and love you, faults and all.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I know I’m right. You’re a perfectionist. And you’re too hard on yourself.”
“You think so?”
Susan smiled. “In all the years you have known me, I haven’t been anything less than frank.”
“True, but you’re also my best friend. I expect a little warmth,” Diana said with a slight laugh.
“No matter what, I’ll always tell you the truth. Was the lie worth it? Trace lost his uncle. Your marriage destroyed their relationship.”
“At the time I didn’t think about what it would cost John, and I certainly wasn’t thinking about Trace’s feelings.”
“I do understand.” Susan stopped as if she wanted to say more.
“Do I hear a but in there somewhere?”
“No, I’m making a point. You made a big mistake not telling Trace about Nicky.”
Cringing, Diana frowned. “A big mistake? You don’t pull any punches, do you, Susan? Nicky and I had a good life with John.”
Susan sighed. “You did have a good life with John. But you could’ve had so much more.” It hurt to hear the words coming from Susan.
“Your decision affected all of your lives. There’s so much anger between you and Trace, Nicky doesn’t know his biological father, and John and Trace never reconciled. Now they never will.”
“I know what it took for me to make the decision I made. It wasn’t easy. I didn’t want my baby to be born without a father—I wanted to be safe.”
“Honey, being safe is an important factor to a woman, but it can’t be the only motivation for marriage.” Susan gave her a gentle smile. “Promise you’ll at least think about what I said.”
“I will.”
Susan glanced at her watch. “It’s getting late.” Giving Diana another hug, she stepped back. “Are you okay?”
Diana took a deep breath and raised a shaky hand to pull her hair behind her ear. “I’m fine.” Clearing her throat, she said, “Thanks, Susan, for being honest.”
“You’re welcome.”
Smiling slightly, Diana slipped her hands in the pockets of her sundress. “Drive safe.”
“I will,” Susan reassured her and walked to where her purse lay. “Diana, everything will work itself out.”
“I hope so. You know what’s funny, Susan? If I had it to do all over again, I would make the same decision.”
“Really? Why?”
Diana shrugged and moved to the large windows and looked out over the semi-dark lawn. The workers had removed all the tents and the tables. Everything was back to normal. Would her life ever be normal again? She turned back to Susan and sighed. “I trusted John.”
“And you didn’t trust Trace,” Susan commented matter-of-factly.
She crossed her arms tightly, trying to understand the complexity of her relationship with Trace. “I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop,” she said sadly. “I knew I wasn’t in his league and that someday he would want out of the relationship.” She drew a deep breath. “I just didn’t know it would come sooner rather than later. I guess I always protected a little bit of my heart. I didn’t envision the devastating pain when it was over.”
“Diana, you left Trace, not the other way around.”
“I left before he left me,” she argued. “It was bound to happen.”
“That’s something you’ll never know for sure.”
“But I do,” she stressed.
“My friend, I see nothing is going to change your mind. I believe you need to think about why Trace stayed in the relationship. If you take the time to analyze it, you may be surprised at what you find.”
Puzzled, Diana said, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” A mischievous grin played on her mouth.
“I hate when you go mysterious on me.”
“Yeah, I know.” Susan grabbed her Gucci purse off the ottoman and walked to the door. Diana followed closely behind. “I’m really leaving this time.”
“Why don’t you spend the night?” Diana said as Susan opened the door.
“Oh, no, you don’t,’’ Susan said and laughed. “You’re not going to use me as a buffer. I have chores I have been putting off for a month. I promised myself I would try and at least finish some of them before the weekend is over. Besides, the two of you have a lot to discuss. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Susan waved and ran down the steps. Diana closed the door and leaned against it.
Diana didn’t have any illusions when it came to Trace. What they’d been these past few weeks were two consenting adults engaging in nothing but sex. She didn’t want to think that it may have been something deeper. Unfortunately, forgetting about Trace was much harder than she thought.