Galina trembled as she thought about the enormity of the decision before her. She'd been unable to sleep when she had returned to the den and instead paced incessantly in her small room off the main cavern. Typically, an Alpha bond arose after both wolves in a pack reached maturity and decided they were ready to raise pups. Rarely would a wolf bond with one that they had met for a short period of time. This was a huge decision, as the pack would revolve around the decisions of the Alphas.
The Lotus pack had operated independently for so long that Galina worried about their ability to assimilate into a new pack. Everything would change, from their home to their hunting companions. She worried for her sisters but even more so for her mother. Irin should have been the new Alpha of their Lotus pack yet Modar had bequeathed the responsibility to Galina. He knew that Irin would not be able to handle the strain on her own. She was a delicate wolf and now Galina worried about her ability to join another pack. As a former Alpha, yet a sensitive soul, would she be respected in a new pack? Galina bit her lip and continued to run her fingers through her long blond hair to try and calm herself. It was something she had done for ages in her human form when she was nervous.
Irin stepped to her and brushed her hands aside. Galina smiled and leaned back against her mother as Irin brushed the tangles from her hair.
"I spoke with your sisters," Irin said quietly. Galina closed her eyes and relaxed against the massage to her temples.
"How did that go?" Galina wondered.
"They are devastated about your father." Galina nodded as she felt tears prick her eyes again. Modar had been such a steady force in her life that it was hard to imagine that he wasn't just out on a hunting trip.
"How are you doing?" Galina asked her mother and reached up to clasp her hand briefly. Though Irin's hand trembled beneath Galina's, her words were strong.
"It is the circle of life. I can no more fight it than I can change it. I will miss him terribly. But. We can take the lessons we've learned from him and instill that in all that we do." Irin said.
"I wish that we could just stay here as our own pack." Galina spoke bitterly. Change scared her.
"Ah, my dear girl. The time would have come at some point. Modar was the only male of our pack. At some point you would need to couple with another to keep our line going. Change would have happened one way or the other."
"I know. I just didn't want it to happen this way." Galina closed her eyes against the hot rush of tears. She was scared to make the wrong decision for her sisters. If she had to sacrifice herself as a mate, then so be it, but the pack she chose would affect all of them.
"Things rarely happen the way that we wish." Irin said wisely as she wiped a tear from Galina's cheek.
"Do you like one pack better than the other for us?" Galina asked as she shuddered out a breath and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"I don't know to be honest. Both are strong packs and I am familiar with many of the wolves in each. Neither is inherently bad."
"But."
"But. I'm more worried about the Alphas than I am the pack. We'll be fine with whatever pack you choose, Galina. The girls are young enough to play with the other pups. I'll be fine. I worry about Serena though. She is reaching that age of defiance. You may want to include her in our decision simply for the sake that she doesn't rebel against your decision."
Galina nodded and got up to pace. Her mother's words were true. Serena would rebel if she wasn't included in the decision. Her father had always had a soft spot for her and allowed her more leeway than most fathers would have. Galina worried that the new Alpha would punish Serena rather fiercely. She said as much to her mother.
"Serena will have to learn the ways of a new pack. It is necessary for our survival," Irin said simply.
"You're right. I will do my best to make the transition easy for her," Galina said.
"Which Alpha do you prefer?" Irin asked.
"I am far more comfortable with Lothar than I am with Vadim. Yet, there is something intriguing about Vadim. I can't decide if he is all show or he truly is the man that he presents himself to be."
"I've often wondered that myself," Irin said.
"What do you know of the two?" Galina asked knowing full well that her mother often secretly met with a few females of the other pack to fish together at the same watering hole. The small pocket in the river yielded the most fish and there was a tacit agreement that both packs could use it.
"I know that Vadim and his brother came to the pack from a rough situation. I believe his mother abused him though there are only whispers of it. He was very angry when he joined the pack yet was incredibly grateful to be somewhere that embraced him for who he was. After his rebellious teen years he seemed to settle in and excelled as a hunter and protector of the pack."
"He was abused? How horrible." For the first time, Galina felt a softening of herself towards Vadim.
"I don't know if it was physically or not but his mother refused to accept him for what he was and tried to force him to renounce his sins. She was a devout Baptist and unable to accept that which she didn't understand."
Galina shuddered. She'd heard tales of religious zealots that hunted the wolves and would string them up on burning stakes along the outskirts of the forests. Galina couldn't imagine what life must have been like for Vadim.
"I guess that puts some perspective on his demeanor," Galina said.
"I suppose. Are you attracted to either of them?"
"I. Well. Yes, I suppose that I am. Both are attractive in very different ways. Vadim is attractive simply because he is the unknown – the wild card. I don't entirely trust myself around him and that can be somewhat intoxicating. And, with Lothar, well I do feel a little excitement for him as well. He is so burly and calmly confident."
"I bet both are excellent lovers." Irin smiled when Galina squealed and laughed at her.
"What? I'm not immune to another man's charm you know."
"I know." Galina sighed and turned to meet her mother's eyes. "Do you think that you will mate again?"
"I don't know. My heart, well it is broken right now. Mending it will take time. I'm past the first thrush of youth. Coupling isn't as important to me anymore." Irin smiled and shrugged. "Though, I wouldn't mind a companion as I go into my twilight years."
"Are there any wolves in either pack that could fill that for you?" Galina asked.
"Oh honestly, I don't know Galina. I've never paid attention. Don't you worry about me. Taking a companion is a long way off."
"Do you think that we should go get Father?" Galina shifted and began to pace the room. She had hated to leave her father like that and knowing that he lay on the cold forest floor bothered her.
"He wouldn't want you to see him like that," Irin said stubbornly.
"But, but. We can't just leave him. At the very least we could cover him or do something. We need to do something."
"How far is he?"
"We were just over a mile from here. By the long grasses."
"Let's go." Irin decided. Then she stopped. "We can't go, Galina. Serena isn't strong enough to protect the den on her own." They had been so used to coming and going with the protection of an Alpha near that their new reality hadn't fully settled on their shoulders.
"I'll go. I will need to hunt anyway, our stores are depleted."
"Oh, Galina I hate that you have to hunt alone."
"It will be fine. I've hunted plenty on my own. If I can't find any large game I can certainly gather some fish and rabbits. We'll be good. I'll go to Father and cover him or bury him. It is my duty as Alpha of this pack." Galina raised her head proudly and moved towards the door.
"Be safe, my child." Irin whispered and went to find her pups.