The rocking rhythmic motion of the drawing-room car on the express run of the Boston & Albany Railroad lulled Rebecca into a dreamy state. With her gaze on the lush hills and woodlands outside her window, and one ear taking in the conversation between Adam and her father, she silently enjoyed the passing landscape. Now and then her grandmother would snore softly, causing the three of them to exchange a look and a grin. That Adam and her father loved and respected this woman was apparent, and understandable. She had easily won Rebecca’s admiration.
But it was the other woman across from her that captured Rebecca’s attention. Estimating her to be a few years older than her parents, Rebecca found the woman quite lovely with her properly pinned reddish hair topped with a stylish plumed brown hat. With merry cheekbones and full lips, she was a pretty lady with kind eyes. She traveled alone yet seemed so confident and relaxed, as if she thoroughly enjoyed her travel, that Rebecca couldn’t resist the urge to talk with her.
The lady lifted her face and greeted Rebecca with an open smile. “Are you enjoying the trip?” the woman asked, moving aside a small valise at her feet.
“It’s spectacular.” Rebecca told the woman she was heading to Crane Landing by way of Fredonia.
“I’m traveling to Buffalo to see my sister,” the woman offered. “I haven’t been to see her in nearly a year.”
“Are you afraid to travel alone?” Rebecca asked, pressing one hand to her stomach and imagining how frightening her own journey would be without Adam and her family traveling with her.
The lady smiled. “I’m not alone. My granddaughter is with me.”
Rebecca scanned the area, but saw no child.
“When my husband was alive we took our children to Buffalo four or five times a year. I’m sad to say that I don’t journey as often now that he’s gone.”
“I’m terribly sorry,” Rebecca said, wondering if the lady might be loath to admit she was traveling alone. “I hadn’t meant to be intrusive.”
The lady gave a gentle wave of her hand. “It pleases me that you are interested. What takes you to Crane Landing?”
“I’m visiting a doctor with the hope of regaining my memory.” Rebecca felt an odd connection and liberty with the woman that she hadn’t experienced with anyone else.
Rather than commenting, the woman tilted her head. “You seem to be afraid.”
Rebecca lowered her lashes and nodded because she couldn’t talk past the sudden lump in her throat. That a complete stranger could perceive so much unnerved Rebecca and yet made her feel less alone.
“Have courage child. Hard journeys are often the most rewarding,” the woman said. “Times like these reveal what we are made of and what matters most.”
Rebecca lifted her lashes and found herself looking straight into the lady’s warm gaze. Instead of seeing pity in the woman’s eyes, Rebecca saw certainty. This lady knew great loss and yet her eyes were filled with compassion and contentment.
“Thank you,” Rebecca said. “I’m sure I will think of your wise words often during this journey.”
The woman released a light laugh. “Those are my husband’s words, but his philosophy has served me well. Now tell me about the place called Crane Landing.”
“Well, I... I know very little about it,” Rebecca said, jolted by the sudden change in topic. “My... fiancé has spent the last eighteen months there. He tells me it’s a beautiful town built around a sparkling bay with two meandering rivers that run from mountain top to the ocean. Adam helped build ships there.”
“It sounds lovely,” the woman said. “I should go there one day, I think.”
“Adam says the river walk is quite a sight in the spring when the crabapples and dogwoods are flowering.”
And so went their conversation until the lady reached her stop in Buffalo. She clasped Rebecca’s fingers in her warm hands. “Remember that your journey is ahead of you, not behind you.”
She departed the train, and the big black locomotive departed the station minutes later. Rebecca promptly fell asleep. She woke with her head resting against Adam’s shoulder and her father watching with an odd look in his eyes.
Sitting upright, Rebecca rubbed her aching neck and looked out the window.
“Are you in pain?” her father asked, his concern evident.
She shook her head. “Just surprisingly sleepy.”
“The train rocks me to sleep every time I travel,” he said, his voice a bit sheepish. She could only see his eyes behind his newspaper, but it sounded as if he was smiling. A smile made him seem more approachable, but the tension between her father and Adam was obvious.
Both men seemed uncomfortable, which told Rebecca they weren’t used to the tension—and made her wonder what had happened to cause the obvious rift.
“Are you in need of anything?” Adam asked.
“A nap,” she said.
A soft chuckle rolled up his throat. “You’ve been sleeping since five minutes out of Fredonia. We have a long way to go. May as well get some rest.”
“I haven’t been asleep more than a few minutes,” she said, surprised by his comment.
Adam and her father exchanged a look that suggested she was wrong.
“I sat right there and conversed with the pretty lady in the next seat nearly the whole way to Buffalo.”
Her comment apparently piqued her father’s curiosity because he lowered the newspaper he’d been perusing.
Adam smiled as if he found her comment cute. “I suspect you and the lady conversed in your dream.”
“What are you talking about, Adam? She sat directly across from us until she left our car at Buffalo. Her sister lives there and she is visiting her. I told her about Crane Landing and how you work on the ships,” Rebecca said. “You must have heard our conversation.”
Another look passed between Adam and her father, only this one carried concern.
Her father put down his paper. “You’ve been sleeping and dreaming, sprite.”
Rebecca shook her head. “I heard you two talking about the mill at Crane Landing. I saw the porter query you about some gentleman’s missing valise. You and Adam helped him search our car.”
The stunned expressions on their faces explained their lack of comment.
“Grandmother’s been sleeping since just after we left the station, but I didn’t drift off until after we left the station at Buffalo.”
“Honey, it was a dream,” her father gently insisted. “Perhaps you were just daydreaming, but there was no woman, sprite.”
Rebecca’s breath slid out as she sank back on the seat. The woman and their conversation had been so real. She’d touched the woman’s hand. Was it possible to dream something so vivid and real like?
As if Adam sensed her concern, he slipped his warm palm over her clenched fist and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You’re tired, love. Why not rest while you can?”
She nodded and turned her face to the window.
The clacking wheels and jolting cars competed with the conversation Adam and her father began about the Crane’s latest shipbuilding practices. Rebecca closed her eyes, wondering what was happening to her.
They changed trains in Boston, and headed to Maine. By the time the train whistle blew, heralding their final stop, Rebecca was beyond eager to get off the train.
Located at the southern end of the state of Maine, Crane Landing welcomed Rebecca with a dazzling display of sun-drenched boardwalks, verdant green trees and a vast blue sky.
From the red and white train depot, Adam directed Rebecca’s gaze down Main Street where she could see all the way to the bay and the ocean beyond. Businesses lined both sides of the bricked street, making her want to take a long leisurely stroll along the boardwalks and clear her mind.
“Main Street ends at Bay Street,” Adam said, pointing toward the water sparkling in the distance. “Bay Street follows the bay and connects with River Road, which climbs right up the mountain alongside the Crane River. I hope we can stay long enough for you to see it,” he said, casting a speculative look at her.
Rebecca’s breath slipped out on a sigh of appreciation. “I hope so, too. What a lovely place.”
“Is that a lighthouse, Adam?” his grandmother asked, pointing to a tall spire far off in the distance.
“Yes,” he said. “Ships can see it from several miles out, I’m told.”
“Have you been out on the ships yet?” her father asked Adam.
“Only on a schooner, sir, but I hope to one day experience a launch from the deck of a Crane & Grayson ship.”
Her father eyed the town. “Each time I come here I’m amazed at this thriving community,” he said. “I’ll show you ladies more of it tomorrow.”
“That would be wonderful,” Rebecca said, excitement thrumming in her veins. Knowing this was all new to her grandmother as well, and that she wasn’t the only one who didn’t know the place, lightened Rebecca’s mood. She was here to see Doc Samuel, but she would enjoy exploring the locale with Adam and her family.
Although the inn was located just down the street, Adam hired a hack to take their bags to the Beacon Inn while they stretched their legs and took in the ocean scented air of Maine.
When they reached the Inn, Rebecca and her grandmother were taken to a suite with high arched windows overlooking Main Street. Light blue tapestries the color of the ocean draped the windows. Bright floral quilts covered their beds and were topped by thick feather pillows. A massive gas fireplace bracketed by two carved rosewood parlor chairs with mahogany end tables decorated a small parlor off their sleeping quarters. A large water closet with a deep cast iron tub and plenty of thick linens made Rebecca want to soak her aching body, sleep for ten hours, and spend the next day exploring the beauty of Crane Landing.
But she only had time to freshen up before her father called at their door to escort them to supper in the main dining hall where they were to meet Adam.
Agitated by his inability to have a private word with Rebecca, Adam struggled to stay abreast of their supper conversation. He excused his silence by claiming he’d talked himself out on the train. The truth was that he didn’t care about the luscious flavor of the game hen nor the restaurant décor that so impressed the others. He ate because his body needed nourishment, not because he was enjoying his meal. He didn’t want to eat the food or talk about it. Nothing mattered to him at the moment but his relationship with Rebecca.
She didn’t want to marry him.
The thought alone turned everything in his stomach liquid.
How could she not know him? After all the hours and dreams and special moments they’d shared, how could she not know him?
Her accident had been bad. He knew that. But had it happened to him, he would still know her. No matter what transpired, as long as he was breathing he would know Rebecca. She was as much a part of him as his own hands.
That she didn’t know anyone else, including her own family, was no consolation. It just made him feel worse. If only he could wind back the clock to the evening they met beneath the willow. He would persuade her not to bring him lunch, to stay home where she’d be safe and whole and remain his beautiful, loving Rebecca.
She wasn’t his Rebecca any longer. Their conversations that used to flow like a river were now as stagnant as a still pond. And that business about conversing with a lady on the train was downright odd—and deeply concerning if she thought it real rather than a dream.
“Adam.” Rebecca jiggled his hand where it rested beside his plate, fork forgotten in his fingers.
Shaken from his reverie, he glanced at her, as surprised by her touch as by how far away his mind had carried him. She hadn’t touched him since before her accident three weeks earlier.
“Would it be possible to tour the shipyard tomorrow?” she asked, looking closely at him as if trying to determine what plagued him.
“Certainly,” he said, consciously dragging his thoughts back to the meal and present company. He shifted his attention to Radford. “I thought perhaps you would need to stop by the mill in the morning. If Rebecca joins us, we can see the whole shipyard and then go directly to Doc Samuel’s afterward.”
“I do need to stop by the yard, but I’m not sure it would be good for Rebecca,” Radford said, casting a worried glance at his daughter, as if questioning her health.
“Well, I should like to go along,” her grandmother chimed in. “I’m eager to see these great ships you talk about, Adam.”
Even when he didn’t feel like talking, Adam discovered he could still talk about ships. There was so much to say that he wasn’t sure where to begin, but within minutes he was lost in describing the amazing strength of her keel beam and shape of her ribs, how her tall, regal masts would cut the clouds as she plowed the oceans.
Dreamy-eyed, Rebecca hung on his every word as if she were aboard that magnificent vessel racing across the vast blue ocean. Her expression was so like the old Rebecca, like the woman who knew and loved him, that Adam clutched her hand.
“Rebecca?” he asked hesitantly, hardly daring to hope that her memory and the real Rebecca had returned.
“Yes?” Her eyebrows quirked and her fingers closed into a fist beneath his grasp.
Disappointment rushed in like a hard tide stirring up his pain and regret like silt on the ocean shore. “I... I want to make sure you’re well enough to come along tomorrow. The shipyard is quite expansive and will require a lot of walking.”
“I’m eager to explore every inch of it.” She withdrew her hand, taking his hope with it. “I’m fine, Adam.”
All he could manage was a slight nod. “All right then. If you’ll all excuse me, I need to head to the bunkhouse and take care of a few things.”
As he got to his feet, Rebecca raised her eyebrows. “You’re not staying at the inn?” she asked.
“I have a bunk at the mill. I’ll stay there.”
“Oh...” She sank back in her chair as if disappointed.
Adam knew better than to believe she cared. She didn’t know him well enough to be disappointed that he was leaving, that they wouldn’t slip out of their suites for a late night visit. It would be far easier to be back at the bunkhouse where he was used to being without her.
“I bid you all a good evening and a pleasant night of rest,” he said, sliding the heavily trimmed, high-backed mahogany chair beneath the table.
As soon as they said their farewells, Adam strode out of the dining hall and headed directly to the Crowe’s Nest.
Leo was at their table waiting for him to arrive.
Although it hadn’t been a full month since Adam had left Crane Landing, it felt like a lifetime ago. Unashamed they gave each other a hard, backslapping hug. Several other men greeted Adam with jovial shouts and raised mugs.
“Married and already itching to get out of the house, are you?” Dawson Crane asked with a sly wink as he seated himself at his usual table next to the one Adam and Leo frequently occupied.
“Not married yet, Dawson. Have you been keeping these boys in line while I’ve been gone?” Adam asked, quickly changing the subject as he gave Dawson a fond whack on the shoulder.
“No hope for them.” Dawson sadly shook his head. “Wastrels to the last man and they’re leading me down the same road.”
Since many of those men were seated around neighboring tables, a roar of laughter and ribald comments to Dawson filled the tavern.
The noise and camaraderie pulled Adam back into the welcoming embrace of his friends, a place he desperately needed to be.
Hiram, the barkeep, set down a heavy mug of ale with a dull thud on the scarred wooden table. “This one is on the house. Next one is on this ugly boy,” he said, thumbing at Leo. With that, Hiram moved on to badger the men at the next table.
Adam and Leo exchanged a grin and raised their mugs. Leo shared the latest news that their shipment of steel beams had come in. Both had mixed emotions about converting shipbuilding to steel, but it had to be done. Crane was one of the last yards still building ships out of oak and pine. European shipbuilders had been using steel for years. To compete, Crane and Grayson had no choice but to convert to steel.
“I understand that a steel ship will last longer, but a ship of wood is a work of art,” Adam said.
Leo nodded and eyed Adam. “It’s as much an art as your ability to avoid the obvious. Your telegram left much to the imagination,” he said. “Why are you back at Crane Landing?”
Swallowing his mouthful of ale, Adam lowered his mug. “I brought Rebecca here to see Doc Samuel.”
Leo’s eyebrows tweaked downward, his confusion obvious.
“She had an accident.” Adam dragged his palm down his face and blew out a breath. “She hit her head and... and she can’t...” Saying the words made it so real, so unchangeable, Adam had to force them from his mouth. “She remembers nothing that came before the accident. Not one thing. Not her family. Not me. Not her own name.”
Leo’s mug clunked down on the marred table top, shock in his eyes.
“She can’t dredge up a single memory of us,” Adam said. “I’ve shared several stories about our past, and even told her about you, but not one thing is familiar to her.”
Releasing a slow whistle, Leo leaned back in his chair. “I don’t know what to say.” He shook his head as if he’d just heard something so unbelievable he questioned his hearing. “I can’t imagine Rebecca not knowing you. From the minute you two met you’re the only man she could see.”
“Not anymore. She doesn’t want to marry a stranger,” Adam said, his gut churning. “She doesn’t want to marry me.”
Leo shook his head again. “I must be having a nightmare right now.”
Adam nodded. “Feels like it, only this is real.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Take her to Doc Samuel. Tell her about our past and hope it will spark her memory of us.” Adam shrugged. “I’ll do whatever it takes, Leo. I can’t lose her.”
“Adam... I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“Me, too.” Adam swirled the ale in his mug, more terrified he would lose her.
“Doc Samuel’s a smart man. Hopefully he’ll be able to help her.”
“Hopefully.” With a guarded look at the next table where Dawson sat, Adam wasn’t so sure. Doc Samuel had certainly saved Dawson’s life and worked with him until he could talk and tie his own boot laces, but Dawson Crane hadn’t been the same man since his accident. He’d once been the greatly revered shipwright for Crane Shipbuilding. He designed magnificent ships and helped increase the Crane fortune by half for his generation. But a fall from the rigging of the Belle Raven ended his career as a shipwright and nearly ended his life as well. After his year-long recovery Dawson Crane had become a common man’s man. Without a glance back he had walked away from his fortune, took up residence in a small house on the river and found other work at the shipyard more suited to his new way of thinking. He was still close with his family, but many a time Adam had heard Elias say he could no longer recognize the quiet, unassuming Dawson as the boisterous brother he’d grown up with and followed into the shipping trade.
Adam released a tired sigh and leaned back in his chair. At times he didn’t recognize this new Rebecca either. Extending his legs beneath the table, he lifted his mug, took a long drink, and looked at his friend. “If Doc Samuel can’t help her I don’t know what I’ll do, Leo. My whole life has been about Rebecca.”
Leo nodded, acknowledging Adam’s comment and his concern, but he didn’t say a word. What could he say?
They sat in silence for several minutes, listening to the boisterous conversations and laughter around them. Finally, Leo braced his forearms on the table and leaned close to Adam. “You’ve got to make her fall in love with you again,” he said.
Because Rebecca may never get her memory back...
It was what Leo was thinking and not saying. It was what Adam was wondering—and fearing.