“Hey there!” the voice called out to her.
This was unbelievable.
For the second night in a row, some miraculous bit of bad luck had broadsided her. Last night her neighbor must have smelled the Chinese food and had a yearning for some sweet-and-sour chicken. Now some dangerous-looking guy she hadn’t seen before across the street was calling out for her. But he didn’t look like the type to try to rescue her.
What’s he doing here?
She yelled back a “Hey.”
What else could she say?
“You okay?” he called out.
Another car passed between them. The last one had been some fancy car with some idiot behind the wheel. Why wouldn’t people let her die in peace? Why did they have to bother her when she wanted to be left alone? Most of her life that bit about being left alone hurt. But now she desperately wanted it. She needed it.
She didn’t answer the guy’s question at first. Then she mumbled an “umm” until telling him that she guessed she was fine.
“You?” she asked.
His eyes looked at her and didn’t look away. They looked strong and tough, the kind that wouldn’t back down at anything. But something in the way those eyes and that face changed after she asked “You?” made her feel a bit better.
The man looked amused. As if that was the lamest question he had ever been asked. And Lacey knew it was.
He was gonna do the same thing I was gonna do.
She wondered if he actually chuckled a bit.
“Somehow I was expecting a little more privacy,” the guy said.
“Yeah, me, too.”
This time she smiled. There was something about this man—something in the way he looked—that made her pause. It was a sadness on this stern man’s face. And the softness that had suddenly washed over it.
More cars passed while they faced each other, not moving, not looking around.
“Did you change your mind?” he called out.
“I haven’t had time to think about it.”
Another car passed blowing its horn at them.
“Maybe I should come over there so we don’t have to shout.”
“Are you a crazy person?” she asked, half joking and half serious.
“I could ask you the same question,” he said.
She laughed, knowing how true his statement was. They were both a bit crazy, probably.
And very lucky.
“Hey—look. You wanna get a cup of coffee?” the guy asked her.
The wind blew sideways and she felt her body shiver. This might be the second most ridiculous question of the night. But taking a look at both of them, one might say they were both a bit messed up in the head.
What’s there to lose?
“Sure,” Lacey said.
The river would have to wait. Maybe they would decide to jump in it together.
The man crossed the street and then greeted her with that same friendly smile.
“I’m not dangerous,” he said right away. “Promise.”
Lacey gave him a nod but didn’t know what else to say. He told her there was a place not too far. They could get off this bridge and out of the cold.
They walked a couple of blocks in silence until they could see the sign for a twenty-four-hour coffee shop on the corner of an intersection. As they approached, the man who walked next to her seemed to be moving slower. He kept looking at the shop and then at her.
“Hey—you know—I didn’t see much point in hitting an ATM on my way to the bridge,” he told her.
She looked at his faded coat and his buzz cut and the bag he was carrying and then realized he was a soldier. Maybe Army or Marines. She wondered if he had an account to withdraw from.
She nodded to let him know it was okay. “I got this.”
They paused near the shop, then as a couple exited and began walking toward them, Lacey stood right in front of them to stop them.
“Excuse me, have you got a fiver?” Lacey asked without any hint of shame. “We were over there at the bridge about to commit suicide, but we changed our minds. Right now what we really need is a cup of coffee.”
The couple, a well-to-do couple in their forties, didn’t say a word and appeared both shocked and embarrassed. The guy reached into his coat and pulled a twenty out of his wallet. The manner he did it in—so quickly, as if their lives depended on it—almost made Lacey laugh. But her adrenaline was still coursing through her veins. She felt amazed that she was still alive. That she suddenly wasn’t alone.
After grabbing a couple of hot drinks, they sat near the back of the coffee shop. The guy sipped his coffee right away as if it didn’t scald his tongue. Maybe he just didn’t care. They didn’t speak for a few moments as they sat there, the background music playing some happy song for these two sad souls.
“I don’t even know your name,” she said. “I’m Lacey.”
She offered her hand and he took it. His grip was strong, his skin coarse.
“Carlos.”
In the light, Carlos was very handsome, with striking eyes and a square face like a model. He just looked so far away even though he was sitting right across from her.
“So, Carlos, why didn’t you . . . you know? Do it?”
He nodded and smiled. “I met someone.”
The words were spoken as if he had just come up to her at a bar. She would normally roll her eyes and act like it was such a lame line, but she kind of loved it. She grinned and nodded.
“How about you?” Carlos asked her.
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m still in the beginning stages of feeling sorry for myself.”
He was playing with something in his hands. It took her a moment to realize it was a small wooden cross.
“Are you some kinda religious nut?” she asked him.
“Hardly,” he said, letting out a laugh. “I got it from my sister. Her husband got himself saved a couple years back. Elena? I guess she’s about half saved.”
Half saved?
“I’m not sure it works that way.”
“It doesn’t,” he said with a nod. “Which is sorta the point. The funny thing? I think it’s what kept me up on the bridge. I was just there holding it and thinking and then you appeared . . .”
The cross was still moving and spinning in his hands.
“You’re not God, are you?” he asked with a smile.
“Me? No. But if I was, I would change a few things.”
“Like what?” Carlos asked.
“Let’s see. Flowers would last forever. Puppies would always stay as puppies. And fathers would never abandon their children . . .”
“You got my vote.”
She watched him take another fast sip from his coffee.
“How about you?” she asked. “If you were God?”
His eyes looked down for a moment, then back at her. “Easy. No more war.”
“Wow . . . Pretty heavy, Carlos.”
She knew now without a question that he was some kind of soldier. She bet he had served over in Afghanistan or Iraq. She wanted to ask him but decided to wait. For now.
He glanced at her and then laughed.
“Yeah, well, so was your thing—about fathers leaving their kids or whatever.”
There was this strange thing filling her face that had been absent for a while. It was infectious, too, because Carlos was grinning himself.
“Fair enough,” she said. “We’re even.”
His eyes didn’t look away from her, and that was a nice thing. They felt like a blanket covering her after being outside in the cold for so long. A favorite blanket that had been with her for a long time, that had comforted her on many long, dark nights.
What were the chances that Carlos would call out to her on that bridge? At that moment and time?
Something weird is going on.
He still played with the cross and she watched in a bit of wonder. Lacey didn’t want to leave this place. Not for a very long time.
It was nice to have another voice to answer her. To have another voice around her. Especially one who knew without her having to even tell him.
It was more than most knew.
More . . .
For the first time in a long time, there was more.