The buzzer first alarmed her, then made her curious, then inspired this tiny flicker of a spark of hope inside. They could be dangerous, those sparks. They could ignite hope into belief. Yet when she opened the door, she saw that sometimes hope was a beautiful thing.
It was Carlos standing there.
“Hi,” she said in almost a gulp. “What are you doing here?”
He carried a brown shopping bag in his arm and had a Cheshire cat grin on his face. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Carlos looked more handsome than she remembered, and she had certainly pictured his face plenty during the past day. They had talked through the night at the coffee shop. He had gotten the guy behind the counter to call a cab for her, then had asked if he could see her again. Lacey had given him her number and address.
She didn’t think he’d show up so soon.
“Do you mind me stopping by?” he asked.
“No, not at all.”
He still wore the faded leather jacket he had worn last night, but he had a buttoned-down shirt on underneath instead of the biker T-shirt. She could tell that Carlos had also shaved.
She smiled but didn’t say anything.
“I don’t want to invite myself in, but this bag is sorta heavy,” Carlos said.
“I think you just did,” she said. “I’m sorry. I’m just—surprised.”
“Me too.”
He followed her into the apartment as Lacey turned on some overhead lights and then told him to put the bag over on the kitchen counter.
“Sorry it’s a bit messy,” she said.
Carlos stood looking at the high ceilings and the living room and attached kitchen. “Looks pretty tidy to me.”
“You’re a guy.”
“Nah. I’ve just seen far messier things in my life.”
Lacey stood trying to figure out what to do. She realized her hair and makeup probably looked atrocious, that she was wearing black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt since she hadn’t changed from working out earlier. She also realized this meant she probably smelled like sweat and body odor. Then she wondered if this was smart anyway, being around this guy she barely knew after everything that had happened.
He gave her an affirming it’s really okay look just like he had last night in the coffee shop. For someone who was going to jump off a bridge the night before, Carlos sure looked content and comfortable in his own skin today.
“I don’t have much to drink—I have some leftover beers I think from a party. Some wine.”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I gave up drinking. I never figured out quite how to do it safely.”
She smiled and understood. “I have Diet Coke.”
“Great.”
When she gave him the glass, he thanked her and then sat at a stool near the counter in a way that looked like he’d done it a hundred times. Moments ago she’d been restless thinking about him and about her father and about the past two nights and wondering what this night might bring. Little did she know it would bring him.
Carlos picked up the small framed photo on the counter.
“Nice picture,” he said as he held it.
“My father and me.”
“You guys close?”
She shook her head. Last night she hadn’t said much about her father. She had simply told him that her mother was gone and she lived alone in the city.
“Fathers,” Carlos said in a way that made it sound like the title of a long novel.
“Yeah.”
They shared a look just like they had the first time they ever saw each other.
This is absolutely crazy.
It was. But in a really good sort of way.
“Am I the only one who sees the irony in this?” Lacey just had to say.
“Hey, that was last night,” Carlos said, totally understanding what she was thinking. “Today is a whole new day. Besides—you gotta eat, right? I’m guessing people who jump off a bridge don’t stock their refrigerator. So . . .”
She laughed. “You’re right. But they do work out.”
“In order to really make that last jump count, right?”
“Is it wrong to laugh about it?” she said, seriously wondering this.
“I’ve learned that it’s the only thing you can do when you survive a near-death situation.”
She knew he had to be talking about the war. Carlos had touched on it a little, but every question she had asked about it only got short, simple answers without explanation. That was fine.
She decided to empty the grocery bag. He had gotten all the basics: milk, bread, chips, ham and turkey, cheese, mayo, apples, and . . .
“Seriously?” Lacey asked.
She held up the greenest bananas she’d ever seen in her life. Carlos only laughed.
“Something to look forward to, right?”
It was one of the nicest things Lacey had heard in a long time.