Gracie’s pussy is spread open in front of me, sweet and small. Tits upright, soft in my hand.
Looking down at her, I got no fucking clue if this is the right call.
Am I a shameless piece of shit for making love to her tonight?
Am I making this call because I’m scared and desperate?
Or am I doing it because I’m fucking wild for her and I wanna give her everything I got? Because I wanna tell her my truth in the hope she’ll see it and love it the way I love hers, and then she’ll ride with me on my tractor off into the sunset?
I just—
I don’t know.
All I know is this feeling keeps catching. Of Gracie slipping through my fingers. One breath, one minute, one night at a time.
Which does and doesn’t make sense.
Tonight, I saw firsthand just how different our worlds are.
But then Gracie spoke about the possibility of an us. Not only that—of an us that worked out.
That’s a big ass step for her.
And then she just said yes. She’s gonna let me make love to her.
Another big step.
Maybe right now, a couple of steps are enough. She’s trying.
Which makes me think—if and when the time comes—she’ll help me try to make those circles in my mental Venn diagram overlap a little more.
“Talk to me, Luke,” she says, moving her nails up the back of my arm. That feels—Jesus, real nice. “You’re pensive tonight. Which I don’t mind. I just want to know what’s going on inside your head.”
See? See how fucking great she is?
I take a breath. Let it out.
“A lot,” I say. “You’re doing a real good job of keepin’ an open mind, Gracie girl. So good you’re gettin’ my hopes up. Might be my turn to be a little scared.”
She nods. “I don’t want you to be scared. But I understand why you are. I mean, hell, I’m afraid, too. This—I think this is moving a lot faster than either of us anticipated. Totally normal to be feeling a little whiplash.”
Whiplash.
Don’t I wish that’s all this was. A simple mind-body discombobulation from too much anal play. Too many smiles.
“What would Lady Jane do?” I tease. At a loss for what else to say.
The corners of her eyes crinkle. “She’d screw her courage to the sticking place and let you bone her.”
“Make love to her,” I correct. “Important difference.”
Gracie laughs. Her eyes—they’re different tonight. There’s this new softness in them. This trust.
I ain’t gonna waste it.
I lean down, caging her head between my arms. Still on my knees.
“How does their story end?” I ask, pressing a kiss to the corner of her lips.
She leans up to grab my mouth with hers. “I don’t know. Haven’t finished it yet.”
“But it’s a happy ending, right?”
Gracie looks me in the eye. “Always.”
I rest my forehead on hers. Same as ours will be.
Tightening my ab muscles, I slowly straighten my legs, sliding back on my knees. I’m still between Gracie’s legs, so as I go down, I melt my groin into hers.
I cover her with my body. So much skin and warmth and closeness.
It’s sweet. Everything feels sweeter tonight.
I lick her lips. Open them. Lick inside.
She moans, her hands gliding up my sides. Then clinging. Nails biting into my skin.
I start to roll my body. Leading with my shoulders. My dick is trapped between us, head nestled against her belly button. I lift my hips, then swivel them. Working myself down. She moans into my mouth, her knees curling around my hips. Spreading her wider.
“We using condoms?” I kiss her mouth, hot and quick. “Or you gonna let me do this bare?”
I always use condoms. Without question. Don’t want my dick falling off.
But with Gracie—I hate the idea of anything separating us. There’s a commitment in raw. A promise. That you can trust each other.
That there’s no one else.
I want this to be my last first time. My every time from here on out.
I want this to be the memory we have of our first time. A good memory we can go back to when things get hard. Because they will.
Tonight showed me they will.
Her eyes move between mine. The brown liquid with warmth and want.
“I’m—it’s safe. Without one. Unless you want—”
“I don’t.”
I duck my head. Trailing my nose along her jaw, I put my lips on the underside. Her skin is smooth and soft. I can taste her perfume here.
Shimmying my hips, my cock slips between her legs. My shaft comes into contact with her slick heat first. Making sparks break out at the base of my spine.
“Oh,” she says, eyes fluttering shut. She tilts her pelvis, and now my head is pressed against her pussy. Nothing between us. Raw as fuck. “Luke. Sweetheart.”
First time she’s ever called me something like that.
It makes my chest hurt.
“Yeah?” I breathe.
I don’t know how or why or when. But her hand is on the small of my back. She glides it up toward my shoulder blade, sweet and slow, nails trailing ribbons of sensation along my skin.
“I love the feel of you,” she says.
Aw, shit.
My mind skips forward four steps. I see myself sinking inside her, I see me reaching down and playing with her clit while I thrust and I thrust, deep, just how she needs it. She comes, clamping down on me. Moaning my name.
I see myself telling her I love her.
I won’t. Not tonight. Not when there’s a chance it’s coming from a place I’m not proud of.
But the idea is there.
The desire to tell her is there.
I give her more of what she loves instead. Resting my weight on my good arm, I reach down and take my dick in my hand.
“Stay with me,” I say.
Grace opens her eyes. They’re clear. And kind.
I’m gonna break.
She’s gonna break me.
Nudging my nose against her cheek, I draw myself up her slit.
Her breath catches. Head falling back as I touch my head to her clit.
A tremble moves through her legs. Her gaze, though, never wavers. Her brows just come together, like she’s hurting. Holding back.
Scared, but showing me anyway.
I drag my cock down a little. Notch myself at her entrance. She makes a noise—a plea, a moan—when I set my other elbow down, inadvertently pressing into her a little.
“Okay?”
“I’m—I’m…”
I kiss her mouth. She feels tight tight tight and so fucking soft around me already. I could stay right here and come, no problem.
“What?”
She closes her eyes. Her mouth still on mine but not kissing me back.
“Baby.” I kiss her forehead. I’m shaking with the effort to keep still. To stay where I am and not sink into her. “You need to let me know you’re okay before I go any further.”
When her eyes open, they’re wet.
Really wet.
“This is just exactly how I wanted it to be,” she whispers. “This is a dream.”
I feel the blare of my pulse. My cock’s insistent, needy throb.
Her joy.
Everything else falls away. Can’t even grab at things I worry about—that’s how quickly they retreat.
This.
This is all there is.
“Gracie, you’ve always been my dream,” I say, searching her eyes. Seeing everything I need there.
I press forward. She’s narrow enough that I have to flex my ass muscles to sink inside her.
Her eyes flutter shut, like she wants to look away, but then she opens them again. Breathing as we watch each other watch each other.
Good.
So.
Fucking. Good.
A familiar tightening in my groin. An unfamiliar one in my chest.
I wanna fall apart. I feel it coming. But she needs me to keep it together. She’s already lost. We already got her there.
So I kiss the tip of her nose. Her chin. The hollow beneath her ear. I surround her as best I can, I curl my hips forward until I’m sunk to the hilt.
For a second I just stay there. Gritting my teeth. Her body so warm and slick and soft. Trusting. Eyes still on mine.
I have never—
I’ve never—
Fuck, I can’t, so I just move. I draw back my hips, slow. Thrust forward. Slow. Using my whole body.
Gracie rocks in time to my movements, mouth open. Canting her hips to meet me at the top of every stroke. Our bodies rising and falling. Rising and falling. Perfectly, effortlessly in synch. Eager, but not rushing.
She moans when I swivel to hit her clit. Her brows come together again, eyes dark and glassy. Hand on my chest, fingers digging into my skin. Like she’s falling and she’s desperately trying to grab onto something, anything.
Like she’s overwhelmed. Helpless.
I’m hit by a rush of emotion. After all she’s been through—the disappointment, the heartache—she’s still allowing herself to be vulnerable with me.
She’s letting me in. Eyes on mine. Scared but meeting me head-on anyway.
I grab her hand. Slide my fingers between hers as I bring our joined hands over her head.
And then I move. Harder now. Deep, athletic dips of my body as I grind into her.
I adore you, I say with my lips, moving them down her throat.
I want you, I say with my legs, using them to drive into her, again and again and again.
I love you, I say with my fingers, twining them more tightly around hers.
“Luke,” she pleads, head falling back when I thrust my deepest yet.
I take her sweet mouth in mine. Finally closing my eyes because I’m gonna die of too much if I don’t. Tangling our eyelashes.
My heart is in my mouth. Can she taste it, I wonder?
She’s roping her arm around my neck now. Digging her fingers into the hair at the nape of my neck. Making me wanna howl.
I reach down and grab her knee. Guide it up to my waist, deepening our angle just enough.
Then I swivel my hips. Trying to hit her clit.
I guess I do, because her cunt clenches around me. Just once. Softly.
Almost there.
I’m there, too. Holding on by a thread.
I look her in the eye. Then I lean down and kiss her. Deep. Good. The kind of kiss that draws her up—I know she likes it when I use my tongue, my teeth. When I tilt my head a little and pluck at her top lip.
Mine.
That’s all I got. After getting so pensive tonight, contemplating so many competing ideas—
Mine.
I swivel my hips again. She cries out into my mouth, teeth clanking against mine. Eyes closed.
I do it again. Those sparks at the base of my spine turning into a full on explosion.
She. Comes.
Squeezing my dick in a vise. Her whole body convulsing. She grabs at me, like she needs something to hold on to. Someone to hold her.
I thrust again through her spasms.
My vision goes blank.
And then I come, too, with a roar I don’t recognize as my own.
Burying my face in her neck, I pour myself into her. Balls tightening, cock pulsing. Cum all over the place.
I forgot how messy—
“Shit,” I say, pulling back to look at her face. “I didn’t ask if I could come inside you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she breathes. Hands on the small of my back, holding me against her. Keeping me inside her. “We’ll be okay, Luke.”
Her eyes are still closed. Her bottom lip is caught between her teeth. Like she’s reveling in the sensation of me.
Like she never wants to let me go.
I scrunch up my face against the intensity of everything that makes me feel.
My cum is already seeping out of her, soaking the sheets.
The smell of sex and sweat fills my head.
My heart is racing.
“Still think we’re too different?” she asks with a scoff.
I scoff, too. “I know we’re not different here. In bed. But outside of it…”
Her breath catches. A pause. Then she opens her eyes and says: “Ever consider that’s one of the things I adore most about you? How different you are from anyone else I’ve been with?”
“You mean that?”
“I do.” She reaches up and runs her hand through my hair. “I like your world. I like it so much I want you to show me more of it.”
Christ do her fingernails feel good against my scalp.
When was the last time someone loved up on me this way? Fun is one thing. But this…
With the right person, this is heaven.
“You really wanna see more?” I ask.
The skin around her eyes is crinkling again. “I do.”
Yup. I am fucking done here.
Talk about whiplash. An hour ago, I was nursing a very real fear that this was never gonna work out.
And now here I am, sticking my neck out like it definitely will.
Lord have mercy.
I don’t know if I’m planting seeds of hope or just being a dumb jerkoff who lets the wrong head lead him around.
Either way, I ain’t saying no to Gracie Jackson.
“All right,” I said. “Lemme take you out on a date, then. Show you my favorite spots. Show you around the farm. But on one condition.”
She smiles, and I swear my heart stops beating for a minute.
“What’s that?”
“You spend the night this time.”
Her smile broadens. “Deal. But only if you spend the night here.”
“Right now?” I say, pulling back in surprise.
She nods. “Right now.”
“Wow. Lots of firsts tonight.”
“Hey.” She shrugs. Fucking adorable. “Maybe I wanna try this whole making love thing again.”
“I was that good, huh?”
“I was that good.”
I kiss her.
Maybe it’s a reckless kiss. Maybe it isn’t.
But I’m sure as hell gonna do it again. And again and again. Until she leaves me or we burn each other to the ground or global warming ends life on this earth as we know it.
“Yeah you were good. Better than that. The best,” I say.
I never been a liar. Tonight’s no exception.