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Chapter Fifteen

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Nate

Shape

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I LOADED THE PIZZA into the back of the car, climbed into the driver’s seat, and took off back towards my house. My stomach was grumbling as I drove, and the savory smell of the pizza filling the small space around me didn’t help.

It had been a long time since I’d picked up a pizza for myself like this—grabbing a whole pie from a local shop, something greasy and cheesy and loaded with enough meat to keep a small store stocked for a month. I needed it, though, given how hard I had been working that day, and how tough it had been on my body.

I had lived in pizza back when I was in college, stuffing down a few slices whenever I got the chance between classes—things were so hectic, it wasn’t as though I had the time to cook myself something good and nourishing, and when you’re young, you can function on junk without it making too much of a difference.

But when I graduated and the fog cleared a little, I realized I needed to figure myself out again. I had played some football in high school, and I missed the way my body felt back then—strong, capable—so I started hitting the gym and actually taking care of myself. What kind of doctor would I be, I reasoned, if I was in terrible shape myself? Someone who lived on pizza and coffee and energy drinks didn’t have any right to tell you what you should be doing with yourself, after all.

I had thought I was doing pretty well with everything, right up until the point I’d had to clear out Celeste’s sewing room. Hitting the gym couldn’t prepare me for the repetitive motions and sweeping and cleaning I’d done all day, and I was beyond wrecked, my body exhausted right down to the bones. I could already tell I was going to be achy as hell the next day, but at least I had Sunday to let myself heal before I went back to work.

She had turned me down for lunch, though, which had stung a little—but I figured she must have her own life to think of, probably had a whole lot of catching up to do with all the people she had left behind when she had moved out of this town. Besides, she had agreed to come with me to the fair, which had to count for something, right?

I wasn’t sure what it was about Ellie that had me so intrigued, but I really wanted to get to know her better. Her presence was fascinating to me, her mixed feelings about this town obvious in the way she talked about it, and I wanted to find out as much as I could.

Her mother and her seemed pretty close, judging by the pictures hanging on the walls of her home, but if that was the case, why had Ellie spent so much time away from her? There was some piece of this puzzle I was missing, and even though I was sure it was none of my business to go delving any deeper than I already had, I wanted to know what was going on beyond the bounds of what I already knew.

I arrived back at the house and eased my aching legs from the car to carry the pizza inside. My mouth was already watering in anticipation, and I grabbed a plate from the kitchen and planted myself right down in front of the TV as soon as I got in. I deserved this. Working so hard, on what was meant to be my day off? I was going to indulge a little.

I switched on some random old football game and settled in. Normally, I found the quiet in the house peaceful, but today—after spending all the time I had with Ellie—I wished there was something around to break it. Someone else here with me, maybe.

It was the first time it had crossed my mind since I moved here, and it caught me off-guard. I had done my best not to put down any serious roots here. I knew I wouldn’t be here forever. I didn’t want to start to make this place my home, and then have to go as soon as I pulled it off. But...but maybe there was something to be said for allowing myself to settle, just a little, just for a while. Look at Ellie, she had come back home, even though I was sure she was planning on getting out again as soon as she could.

Not before the fair, at least. It was a couple of weeks away, she’d said, so I had her around at least until then. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with that time – work on the house, probably, like I’d said I would—but I was glad I had a little more of it yet. A little more of it to spend with her.

I finished up my pizza and ran myself a hot bath, tossing in some Epsom salt to try and soothe my muscles a little. I usually just hopped in a shower before I went to bed, but today, I felt like taking things a little slower.

Maybe this place was finally starting to get to me. Maybe I was finally starting to believe there was something to this small-town life, a life where you weren’t rushing around constantly, trying to get everything done. I even made myself a cup of tea and sipped it as the bath ran, trying to remember the last time I hadn’t spent an evening going over my notes or looking into a patient’s records to make sure I was getting them the best treatment they could ask for.

I wasn’t used to this, but maybe I should change that. After all, I told many people who came into my office—back in the city, at least—to think about their stress levels and consider how best to take the weight off their shoulders, while I was rushing around hardly taking a moment for myself.

I finished my tea and climbed into the bath, sighing with relief as the warm water lapped over my body. I had thrown open the window to let out the steam, and I could hear the birds singing outside, their tuneless warbling filling the air as the sun just began to dip in the sky. It was beautiful out there.

What was Ellie doing this evening? My mind drifted to her before I could stop it, even though I knew I should have known better than to let it. I needed to keep myself under control when it came to her, or I would wind up doing something I didn’t mean to. We had a date together, that was enough for me for now—I wanted it to be, anyway.

But I couldn’t help but let my mind drift to what it would have been like to have her in this bath with me. How much fun it would have been to reach over and pull her into my arms right then and there, feeling her soft, naked body against mine. The sweetness of her touch, so inviting and so disarming. The few times we had brushed against each other when I was helping out with her mom’s place, it was as though electricity had lanced through my whole system at once, as though nothing could stop me from wanting more.

I pushed those thoughts down and reached for my phone, pulling up a video streaming app so I could stick on something to distract myself. If I knew one thing for sure about a crush, it was that allowing it to get the better of me and linger in my mind would only deepen it, and I needed to make it impossible for her to get a hold on me.

I liked her. Sure. But she would be out of here as soon as she got the chance, and I was sure I would do the same thing. There was a time limit on this, and I had no intention of trying to break it.

I switched on a video lecture from a professor I liked and propped it up on the other side of the bath so I could watch it while I relaxed.

I needed to keep my mind off of Ellie, or I was going to let the feelings brewing inside of me get the better of me. We had too much to take care of as it was, and I couldn’t let myself get distracted by how attractive she was. We were friends for now, just friends. And, as her friend, I owed it to her not to let my fantasies about her next to me in this bath get the better of me.