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I STARED AT THE WALL across from my desk. There was a painting of the ocean by some famous painter. I didn’t know who. I focused on the lighthouse as my lawyer droned on. And on and on. When I heard enough of the man’s lecturing, I cut him off.
“Jim, I appreciate your concern, but I don’t care about the house,” I spoke into the air. My lawyer was on speaker, freeing up my hands to write down the list of things I needed to pack when I got home.
“Jake, we’re talking about a lot of money here,” he said.
“Yep, and it sucks, but I’ll make more. I have enough.”
“Why don’t you let me force her into selling the house?” he said. “She’ll have to split the proceeds.”
“I’m sure once she’s married, she will sell the house,” I said dryly. “I’ll get my money then.”
“She’s living in your house with another man,” he reminded me.
It wasn’t like I forgot. How could I? “What’s your point, Jim?”
“My point is you have a lot to argue with here. You don’t have to give up half of everything.”
“I don’t want to see her again,” I said. “I don’t want to keep paying you five-hundred bucks an hour to get screwed. She’s doing a great job of that on her own. I need this behind me so I can move past this disaster that is my life. That woman took fifteen years of my life. I’m so over it. I want it over. She can marry whoever she wants. I’m just glad I got out of paying alimony.”
“Barely,” he muttered. “You’re absolutely sure you want me to file it like this?”
“Yep,” I replied. “I’m tired of fighting. She’s destroyed me. Now it’s time for me to put the pieces back together.”
“Okay,” he sighed. “I’ll get it done today.”
“Thank you,” I said. “Jim, no offense but I really hope we never have to see each other again.”
His laughter echoed around my office. “What are you going to do now?” he asked.
“I’m going on vacation.”
“Good,” he said. “Good for you. It’s been a long year. You need a break. Where are you going? Cancun? Hawaii?”
“Actually, no,” I said and looked at the image on my computer. “I’m going far enough away no one can call me or find me. Not you, and definitely not Amanda.”
“Where are you headed?” he asked.
I grinned and stared at the picture on my screen. “A private island.”
“Shit, I guess I don’t have to worry about your finances,” he joked.
“You don’t have to worry about my finances, but it’s not that kind of island. It’s a simple, somewhat rustic cottage. I plan on doing nothing but fishing, swimming, drinking, and absolutely nothing else. I’m not going to work. I won’t be networking or talking to anyone. In fact, I’ll be totally off the grid.”
There was a long silence. “You’re going to do this little Zen retreat for how long?”
“A month,” I told him.
“You’re going off the grid for an entire month?” he repeated. “What about the business?”
“I haven’t been hands-on in the business for over a year now,” I told him. “When Amanda walked out, I walked away. I’ve got a good management team in place. They don’t need me.”
“Where is this place?” he asked. “Just in case I have to send out the Coast Guard.”
“Somewhere off the coast of Maine,” I answered.
“Does it have a private airstrip?”
“Nope,” I said. “A boat. A single boat will ferry me out and bring me necessities once a week.”
“No shit!” he exclaimed. “You’re going to be that alone?”
“Yep. And I cannot wait. I’m driving out tomorrow.”
“Okay. Good luck, and I’m sorry things worked out the way they did,” he said.
“I’m not,” I said with a shrug. “I’m glad it’s over.”
I ended the call and clicked off the website with the cottage info. Amanda would die if she knew what I was going to do. My ex-wife was pampered and spoiled. I’d been a part of her world for too long. When we met, she captivated me. The beautiful young woman who was fresh out of college and working at a financial firm. I was a kid, barely twenty, fresh off an Olympic bronze win with money in my pocket. She had just gotten a job at a financial firm. I hired her as my financial advisor. Then we started dating and before I knew it, we were married.
I started making money at my sporting goods store. Then I opened another and another. The more money I made, the happier she seemed to be to spend it. When we first got married, there was talk about starting a family and moving out of New York City. We made it about an hour north and that was it. She kept me in the city. She put off the family thing because she wasn’t ready. The more money I made, the less happy I became. Not her, though. She seemed to be finding her stride while I felt like I was suffocating. Apparently, she didn’t like my desire to slow down and get away from the social scene.
I shook my head as I walked out of the office in my home. That memory was forever burned into my brain.
I had walked into our big ass house – too big for just two people – and went upstairs. And there she was, naked as the day she’d been born. At first, I was stupid enough to think she was surprising me. Then the man walked out of the bathroom behind her. To her credit, it was the same man she was living with now. In my house.
I had packed my bags that day and never went back. I bought myself a nice house on some land in Maine and never looked back. I took my clothes, my car, my medal, and a few random trinkets. I walked away from my business as the acting leader and ran things from my house. This was the life I was supposed to have. I needed space and clean air. I was not a city boy. I was not the kind of guy who liked fancy dinners and the opera.
I was going to sleep under the stars on a sandy beach with no one around to bother me. I felt guilty for leaving my students behind, but they understood. I wasn’t an official coach by any means. I was more of a mentor. I had always loved all aspects of track and field, but the javelin had been the one thing I excelled at. I would have won gold if it hadn’t been for the damn rotator cuff injury. It was the same story that so many athletes got to tell.
So close, and yet so far. It was a reminder that we were all human. No matter how many hours we trained, we weren’t invincible. Mentoring young athletes made me feel useful, and I had always hoped I would have my own son or daughter or both by my thirty-five. I wanted to teach my kids about all the stuff I loved. I wanted to teach them to fish and take them on overnight hiking trips, but I was afraid that dream was gone. I had wasted fifteen years of my life with the wrong woman. I had been burned and couldn’t quite think of a future with another woman. No woman meant no kids.
While in my bedroom tossing things into my suitcase, my cell rang. I glanced down at the screen to see Amanda’s name, and couldn’t even begin to imagine what she wanted now. If I didn’t answer, she would call a hundred times. I could shut off my phone but that would mean she won. I was about sick of the woman winning.
“What?” I snapped as I answered.
“My lawyer just called me,” she said.
“Good for you. That probably cost you a few hundred.”
“He told me your attorney just called him,” she went on in that super irritating, condescending tone that I loathed.
“Is this a game of telephone?” I asked with a sigh. “Who should I call next?”
“You signed,” she cooed.
“Whatever it takes to get you out of my life for good.”
“Don’t be like that, Jake,” she said, and I could practically see her pout. Back in the beginning, I had thought that pout was so pretty. Whenever she wanted something, she would turn on her pout and I couldn’t resist it. I hated it now. It made my skin crawl to know I had been so easily manipulated.
“What do you want, Amanda?” I asked with irritation. I imagined myself on that deserted island with no way for her to contact me. If I never heard her voice again, it would be too soon.
“I wanted to say I have a few boxes in the garage for you,” she said.
“And you just now remembered?”
“No, I just wanted to make sure you would sign the papers,” she said, as if her attempt to blackmail me wasn’t a big deal.
“Burn it,” I said. “I don’t know what it is, and I don’t care. I’ve lived this long without it, I don’t need it now. Give it to Dale. He seems to like my hand-me-downs.”
“Don’t be a dick,” she snapped.
“Burn it. Give it away. Drown it. I don’t care. You got what you wanted. Have a great life, Amanda.”
I ended the call. I no longer had to play nice. I didn’t have to listen to her bullshit. She had nothing more over me. She couldn’t bully me into anything ever again. It was over. Damn that felt good to say. “It’s over!” I shouted into my bedroom.
This vacation was a celebration and a new beginning. Moving to Maine had been a good first step, but finalizing the divorce was what I really needed. This was the finality I needed to move forward with my life. I couldn’t wait to be under the stars with zero light pollution. It was going to be just the ocean and the stars and me.
I grabbed the sleeping bag I purchased specifically for this trip. I had my fire starter, flashlight, and other essentials. The cottage was likely stocked with all the stuff I needed, but I didn’t want to risk being without something important. I grabbed the brand-new fillet knife I had bought specifically for the trip. The cottage owner had promised me the place had all the fishing supplies I would need, and I could practically taste the pan-fried fish cooked over an open fire.
I loaded up my car in preparation for an early start. While I had already placed my grocery order, I was also bringing along some of the basics. I had a bottle of scotch I’d been saving for the day my divorce was finalized. Technically, we still had to wait on the judge, but for all intents and purposes, this was over. I could open my scotch while sitting in front of a fire on a beach far away from her and our old life.
I made myself a frozen meal and sat down in front of the TV. It was the last time I would be watching TV for a month. I wasn’t going to miss it. I was going to leave my phone locked in my car. I wasn’t taking my laptop, and was leaving my smartwatch behind as well. The new tactical watch I bought for the trip was all I needed.
Some people, including the COO at my company, thought I was crazy. To purposely strand myself on a deserted isle seemed like a drastic idea, but I was looking forward to it. My life had been nonstop from the moment I started walking. My parents saw an athlete in me and pushed me at every sport until it seemed running was my thing. Then, when I was ten, I was at a high school track meet and saw the javelin throw. I was intrigued and had to try it. From then on, it was nonstop training. I went to the Olympics at the age of nineteen and before I could compete in my second event, my shoulder gave up. That was it. My career was over.
Then there was Amanda and the business. Another fifteen years of busting ass to try and be good enough. When it became obvious I wasn’t going to win the gold with her, it hurt. It stung. I hated the idea of failing. It took me a good six months after I left to realize I hadn’t failed. She did; she quit, not me, and I was lucky she did. I saw that now, but it had taken a long time to get to this point.
Tomorrow was the first day of the rest of my life, and it couldn’t come soon enough.
