Her face was red and her voice reflected anything but calm. “I think it is absolutely disgusting that you told your son, ‘It’s your penis.’ I told my son it was his ‘ding-dong.’”
This pastor’s wife took issue with me (Josh) during a break at one of my seminars on the “Bare Facts About Sex.” I calmly explained to her that “an ear is called an ear, a nose is called a nose, an eye is called an eye, a vagina is called a vagina, and a penis is called a penis.” I didn’t figure it was my place to rename body parts. Obviously this lady disagreed.
Children will often explore their body parts. And when they reach a certain age they will often ask questions. When talking to them or answering their question, be honest and answer with correct anatomical names of their body parts.
We always wanted to refer to our children’s sexual organs as their “private parts” with an emphasis on “private.” It’s part of sending the message that they are “private parts” and are to remain private.
When talking with a child, it’s best to refer to their private parts early with correct words: a penis is a penis, not your “willy” or your “ding-dong.” It’s not your “down there” or “that place” either.
When you use correct words like penis, testicles, vulva, or vagina, explain not only what they are but also what they do. Your kids will find out sooner or later, and it’s becoming much sooner now because of the Internet. And you will want to become your child’s authority on what body parts he or she has and what they are called. You don’t want it to be the Internet.
I (Josh) was playing with one of our daughters, who at the time was about three years old. Dottie walked into the room and our daughter blurted out, “Mommy, Daddy touched my vagina!” Dottie tried not to look alarmed. I took a deep breath and responded in a very calm but deliberate voice and asked our daughter, “Honey, where is your vagina?” She smiled and touched her belly button. Then I proceeded to explain in the simplest language I could the difference between her vagina and her belly button.
It may take a number of little discussions and explanations for a child to get the body parts figured out. But by using their correct names and explaining what they’re for, your child won’t be embarrassed or shamed when they find out the real names of their body parts.