Does it concern you that so many young people lack sexual boundaries? Have you been in a mall and watched how some 12-, 13-, or 14-year-old kids act today? It’s as if no one has taught them moral boundaries or how a boy should treat a girl. So how do you get your young daughter or son to grow up to treat the opposite sex appropriately? Because if you can teach them young how to respect the opposite sex, it will go a long way in helping them live in a morally pure way.
The most effective way to communicate this is by modeling love and respect within our own marriages. Kids are observing our attitudes and actions and learning how to respect or disrespect by how we treat one another.
And this may sound strange, but one of the best ways to teach your young daughter how to respect and treat the opposite sex is for her dad to take her on dates. This will also help her know what standards to expect in dating, in general. This had such a positive impact on our own daughters. Kelly, our oldest, writes this:
When I was young, my dad would take my sisters and me on dates and tell us, “If a boy doesn’t treat you this way, then you need to walk away from him.” He would open the door for us, be very polite, talk kindly and he would just model the way that a man should respect a young woman. I can now more fully understand what that really meant to me. Dating was a time for me to get to know someone, not a time to feel pressured into anything. Dates with my dad were his behind-the-scenes way of making sure that I didn’t feel pressured to do anything that I wasn’t comfortable doing. That one little thing helped me avoid the pressure to cross my boundaries.
Family and marriage counselor Dr. Corey Allan says: “If you’re a father, take your daughter out on dates beginning now. Model how a man acts: hold the door for her, talk and listen to her, dress up for the date. This will set the bar high for her future dates. The same holds true for sons. Moms can take them out and model how a lady acts.”1
Dad, take the time to schedule a daddy-daughter or daddy-son date occasionally. Go out to eat for a favorite meal or to do an activity your child enjoys. Mom, take your son out and do something together. Model before him how a woman wants to be treated. The best way you can teach your kids how to treat the opposite sex is by example. You become their model of how they should act.