Chapter Twenty-Two
I wander the streets for I don’t know how long and end up in a park just a couple of blocks from the hotel. When I finally pull my phone out, I notice it’s after midnight, and West and Anne have both texted me an equal amount of times.
And on and on they go. I pull up West’s name first and start to compose a message back—
“Jesus!” I hear and jerk around to see him racing toward me. He doesn’t stop as he slides onto the park bench beside me and wraps his arms around me. Immediately, I tense, but he just hugs me harder until I ease into it.
Melt into it actually as I bury my face in his neck and just breathe in all that is him. I think I could stay right here, surrounded in his comfort forever.
He pulls back then and gives my face a very long look. I study his clenched jaw and the tension around his eyes. He’s really upset, and I’m the reason why. “I got your texts,” I lamely say.
“Why didn’t you answer them?” he demands.
His voice takes me off guard and flares a spark of anger in me. But just as quickly as it flares, it goes away. He has every right to be angry with me. As does Anne.
I stare down at my jeans as my foggy brain trudges back through the last couple of hours. “I guess because I didn’t know what to say.” Even to my own ears it sounds stupid.
West sighs. “I get that. I do. But whether you like it or not, Anne and I care about you. You can’t just walk off and ignore our stressed-out texts. Especially not after what happened. If you want time, that’s fine. But at least tell us that.”
I don’t respond. He’s right.
He reaches over and takes take my hand, and we hold each other’s gazes for a few beats. I know West. I trust him. He’s here to help.
I trust him…
That thought slams into me. Other than Bluma, I’ve never completely trusted anyone. “I’m sorry about all that back there. I’m sorry if I screwed up the party.”
West shoves off the bench, and I watch him pace away before swerving to confront me. “You’re unbelievable. Toby’s a grab ass, and he never knows when to stop. I can’t believe you’re apologizing for ‘screwing up the party’. That’s not what you should be apologizing for.”
I don’t know what to say. West is really mad, and it’s all my fault. I wish this whole night would just go away. I wish I had West’s ability to say something funny, make us both laugh, and forget all of this.
“You said no. He should’ve stopped. That is the bottom line, Eve.”
I nod. He’s right. Of course I know he’s right.
“What did he do to you?” he asks.
Nausea suddenly rises up, and I shake my head.
West crosses the short distance and kneels in front of me. He wraps his hands around the backs of my calves and gently squeezes. “What did he do?”
The need to tell him everything or at least something rises quickly in me, but catches in my mouth. It’s like I’ve broken off a piece to give him, but I’m choking on the rest. Silence hangs between us as I study his quiet expression.
“Nothing,” I whisper, wishing I were better at this talking thing. Wishing it wasn’t so hard.
No.
I give my head a shake. I will talk. “He…he held my wrists, and…and I don’t like that. Actually, there are a lot of things I can’t handle.” Fear bangs through me as I say that last part. It’s the most I’ve ever shared. Ever.
West doesn’t respond and instead just continues studying me in that thorough way he does, and as he studies me, he slowly moves his hands up my legs and around the back side of me to loosely cradle me. “This okay?”
I give a nod, suddenly extremely aware of how close we are—him kneeling in front of me with his hands and arms gently circling my hips. But I’m not scared because…everything about it is so right—the closeness, the comfort, the warmth—yes, so right.
It’s only me and West here in this park, and the weight of tonight’s events dissolve as a sense of freedom moves in. I find myself taking in every detail of his face. His dark brows, his black eyes, his perfect, kissable lips. Those lips curl up then, and awareness surges through my veins. If I lean forward, just a little bit, I’ll be kissing them. I’ll be kissing a guy for the very first time in my life. My gaze flicks up into his eyes, and they crinkle with kindness. He’s not going to close the distance and kiss me. He’s waiting for me to make the first move.
Wow. What a powerful thought. I get to determine what happens.
My mouth goes a little dry as I lift my hand and trace my index finger over his right brow, down the side of his cheek, and along his bottom lip. I do the same to the left side of his face, this time trailing my fingers down his neck.
“You’re so different from me,” I whisper, loving the tickle of his whiskers against my fingers.
“Do you realize this is the first time you’ve ever voluntarily touched me?”
I let my hand linger on his neck. “Is…is that okay?”
He nods as he closes his eyes and lays his head in my lap. “Yes, it’s so very much okay.”
I run my fingers through his hair, definitely more comfortable now with the touching, and he inhales a very long breath before letting it out slowly.
“Do me a favor?” he asks, lifting his head to look at me.
I nod as I caress my finger along the curve of his ear. Yes, I’m definitely liking this touching.
“Answer your messages next time. Okay? I don’t like going insane.”
“I will,” I assure him.
“I have to tell you something.”
“Okay.”
He takes a breath. “Your problems kind of scare me,” he says and immediately tightens his hold on me when I try to pull away. “Don’t. I didn’t say that to make you feel weird. I’m trying to be honest. Sometimes I feel awkward around you, and I’m not used to that.”
“You don’t have to be my friend,” I tell him, hearing the irritation in my tone.
He lets out a humorless laugh. “That’s just it. I want to be your friend. There’s something about you that pulls me in, if that makes sense.”
It does. Because something about him draws me in, too. “West, just…be patient with me, okay?”
“Oh, Eve.” He leans in and presses a very soft, lingering kiss to my right cheek, and way down deep, something inside of me loosens. He gets to his feet and holds his hand out. “Come on, it’s getting cold. Let’s head back.”
Together we walk from the park and through the night back to our hotel. Outside my door, he gives me one more kiss on the cheek and I almost, almost, turn to meet his lips.
When I walk into our room, Anne sits straight up in bed. “Holy Noah with an ark, you’re alive.”
I give a guilty cringe. “Sorry.”
She plops back down in bed. “Why didn’t you just hit Toby instead of running?”
I don’t feel like going back into this. I’m exhausted. “I will if it ever happens again. I’m really sorry I worried you. West already gave me a piece of his mind.” I take my hoodie off and toss it onto my duffel. “They didn’t fight, did they?” God, I hope not.
“No. West shoved him, people stepped in, blah, blah, blah. I took off looking for you. Then West. The party continued. Almost everyone was drunk so it’s all kind of a blur. In case you were worried you made a scene.”
“I was. So thank you for that.”
Anne sits back up in bed. “Seriously, Eve, West was freaked out when he couldn’t find you.”
My emotions do a somersault. I’m happy he cares for me so much, but also guilty that I worried him so.
She grabs her phone and turns it off, and I realize she’s been up waiting on me to call, to text, to come back, and that thought punches me straight in the gut. Anne really is a good friend. A friend I don’t want to lose.
“Can I hug you?” I ask.
She blinks. “Sorry, what? Did you say ‘hug me’?”
I nod.
She throws the covers aside and stands up. “Hell, yeah.” She spreads her tattooed arms. “Get your skinny ass over here.”
We both laugh, and for the first time since meeting Anne, we share a hug. A hug I initiate. Just the thought makes me smile.