Gemma sat beside her mom’s bed. She still wore the oxygen mask, but she kept taking it off to talk. “It was for me.”
Elliot hadn’t given her anything but oxygen, but Janice sounded loopy anyway. “What was for you, Mom?”
“The music. Every song was mine. He played them all for me.”
Shelby tapped lightly on the doorframe.
Gemma got up and went to her. “Is she okay? She’s talking crazy.”
Shelby glanced at the bed for a moment. “She had a traumatic experience. It could be she’s still in shock, and she’s processing what happened to her.”
“By talking crazy?”
Shelby set her hand on Gemma’s shoulder. “Allow her mind to work through this. To run its course so she can get to a place of peace and healing.”
“Okay.” Gemma ran her fingers through her hair and tried to shake off the feeling, but it didn’t help. What was Dan doing now? He’d left the scene of the fire so fast she hadn’t been able to ask him where he was going. And why was it any of her business? They were broken up.
Her head was a mess. She wanted him with her, but she didn’t want to talk to him. She wanted to know where he was, mostly so she could make sure he felt as miserable as she did. He hadn’t looked like he was having a bad day. At least no more than usual. And what had he been doing with Mei anyway?
“Are you okay?”
Gemma shot her friend a look. “No. I’m really not.” She took a step back because she didn’t want to talk about it. “I’m going to sit with my mom some more.”
Shelby might have stood there for a minute, watching, but Gemma didn’t check. She sat where she couldn’t see the door and held her mom’s hand. “I’m sorry I moved out. I should have stayed.”
Since she’d been gone her mom had lost Hal, and now she’d been hurt in her home, tied under a table that was set on fire. Gemma should never have left, but she’d been so excited to get out on her own. It had taken years to decide she needed her own space. She’d never needed it before, and she’d been happy in her mom’s house. They’d both had their own lives, but Gemma felt like they should stick together. Then suddenly it was just time. Things were quiet, and Gemma had wanted her own home that she could put her personal stamp on.
Days later Hal was dead. Her mom was devastated, and Gemma still hadn’t unpacked all of her boxes.
She took her mom’s hand. “I think maybe I should move back in.”
Janice blinked. “That would be nice. I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.” Gemma studied her mom’s face. The lines and creases. Had she always looked so old, or had the last few weeks of being so alone aged her? Janice had always been so active, working outside on Dan’s farm. After retirement she’d helped out around town, and even helped Gemma landscape the library. Her mom had a healthy tan all the time and often smelled like dirt.
“I miss Hal.”
“Tell me about him.”
Janice smiled. “He loved me. But no one could know, no one could ever find out. Bill would know that Hal had a daughter. We were too much of a risk.”
And yet he kept them both close. Her parents had spent years apart, never being a real family. She couldn’t imagine what that would feel like now. All so a madman-murder never found out Hal had a weakness.
So instead of them, Bill Jones had simply tormented his own family. He’d tormented Dan.
Gemma sighed. “I know all this, Mom. Tell me what Hal was like. The good stuff.”
“Every song he played on the radio was for me. Every flower I planted was for him. I wanted to write notes, but he didn’t allow it. I wanted to go to the woods for the weekend, but he said it was too risky. He watched, he reported. He kept track of the CIA agents they brought down, and they were looking for us. A couple died. Cancer, a car accident. The rest never found us, though we’d get word every once in a while that they’d asked around. But none of them ever made a move on Sanctuary.”
“Thank you for helping to keep us safe, Mom. I know what it feels like not having what you want. To have to watch other people have it while you stay on the sidelines in your own life. If he was here, I’d want to thank Hal, too.”
Janice nodded. “You always were a good girl. Hal said that.”
Gemma smiled. She squeezed her mom’s hand.
“Bill said the same thing.”
Gemma froze. She didn’t want to talk about this.
But her mom continued, “I tried to look in his eyes, to figure out what he was talking about, but I couldn’t read it. I thought he might have worked it out, that you were Hal’s daughter. He never met me in Vietnam, and Hal and I were never together in town except in secret. But maybe he’d figured it out.”
Gemma clenched her stomach. “He shoved me against a wall. Pushed me around, said horrible things. But that was it.” It had taken her this long, and the perspective of an adult, to be able to say that. As a child she’d been traumatized. He’d seemed so much bigger than her.
“All because you stood up for Dan?”
Gemma nodded. She’d had good intentions, and God had saved her from something that could have been so much more horrific. But she’d never told Dan about it, and she wasn’t going to. It wouldn’t help.
“You aren’t okay, are you?” Her mom started to cry.
Gemma didn’t know how to answer the question. Dan had always been the one who wasn’t okay. Was she allowed to not be okay as well? They couldn’t both be messed up, and yet somehow they always had been. Not much in their lives had been right. It was why Gemma had asked him if he wanted to leave town. Wouldn’t a clean slate, a new life, be better than what they had to live with here?
“I knew it,” Janice said. “I went to talk to him, to find out what he’d done. When I saw his face, then I knew. Dan’s mom made this squeaky noise, and I looked over at her. She knew as well, and a month later she was gone. I think you were the catalyst in her coming to Hal.” Janice sniffed and a tear rolled down her face. “I’m sorry. I was with him that night, and I should never have left you.”
“You couldn’t be with me every second, Mom.”
“But I wasn’t there when you needed me.” Janice squeezed her hand. “You’ve always been so strong. You never told anyone. I was so scared he’d done the worst thing, and I confronted him. He yelled at me until I spit it out, and then he punched and kicked me for interfering. Said you were a nosy little girl who got what she deserved.” Her mom sucked in a choppy breath. “So I talked to Hal, and we decided that we’d take care of it.”
“How?”
Gemma hadn’t asked the question, though she’d been about to. She spun around.
Mei stood in the doorway. “How did you take care of it, Janice?”
Gemma didn’t want her here. This was none of her business. And how long had she been listening, anyway?
Mei stood there until Janice spoke. “I told Hal. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I don’t regret it.”
“Did Hal poison Bill Jones?”
“He died of heart failure. Years later.”
Mei shrugged. “Plenty of things can mimic heart failure, and an autopsy was never done. You yourself had access to herbs. Plants that can be used to heal, or kill.”
Gemma stood. “Mei—”
Janice said, “He never told me if it was him or not, but I saw what it did to him knowing Bill had done something to Gemma. He waited years, but he couldn’t stomach that man anymore. Arnold Walden. Bill Jones. Whoever he was, he had killed all the fight Hal had left. He wouldn’t forgive himself. I think he wanted revenge.”
Mei nodded. “Hal killed Dan’s father. It’s what I would have done.” She glanced between them. “Some people are strong, but that strength has to be protected because it’s a precious thing and its breakable. People like me, people like Hal, we don’t need as much protecting. We’re the line of defense for people like Gemma and Dan.”
Right when Mei said her name, Gemma stood. She gritted her teeth together. “Outside. Now.”
Mei shrugged and then followed her into the hall. Gemma spun. “You had no right to butt into that conversation. It was none of your business.”
“You don’t have to be embarrassed, and you don’t have to hold onto that pain in silence.”
“I’m not in pain, okay? But that doesn’t mean I want to talk about it with you.”
Mei shrugged. “Fine. We won’t talk about Dan’s dad, and we won’t talk about Terrence.”
“I cannot believe you asked her if she poisoned Dan’s dad. My mom isn’t a murderer.” Mei was right, she didn’t want to talk about Terrence. She just wanted Mei to find him already.
“Anyone is capable of killing if the right situation presents itself.”
“I don’t believe that.” Gemma shook her head. “At least not without it destroying some part of themselves.”
Mei’s eyes flickered. “There isn’t one person in this world who doesn’t lose a bit of their soul when they kill another person. Taking a life is not free, and sometimes the price can be heavier than you want to pay.”
“Am I supposed to know what you’re talking about?” Gemma didn’t even want to process Mei’s words. She’d killed someone? That was the only way she’d know what she was talking about.
“Didn’t you want Terrence to be dead after what he did to you?”
Gemma didn’t answer.
“What if he’d done that to Shelby?”
Gemma rubbed her thumb on the inside of her left arm, where Terrence had marked her. Not in the same way Dan had done to the other arm, not the same at all. “I’d hate him if he did that to Shelby. Probably about as much as I do right now.” She watched Mei’s face as she spoke. “What did you do?”
“Terrence is alive. But you need someone to do what you’re not capable of doing. And that’s a good thing, Gemma. The world doesn’t need more people like me, it needs more people like you.”
Gemma didn’t speak for a minute, then she said, “Don’t speak to my mom again.”
“Okay.”
She thought there might have been a sad note in Mei’s eyes, but it disappeared. “She’s in a vulnerable place. I don’t want you pushing her.”
Mei said, “Where will you be?”
“I don’t know.” Why did Mei care where she was going now?
“Don’t go to Dan. I don’t think he needs to know that Hal killed his father. It probably won’t help.” Mei paused. “Besides, it isn’t more than hearsay at best. None of it can be proved.”
She didn’t want Gemma to go to Dan? “You aren’t the one who gets to decide what he knows and doesn’t know.”
“And you being forthright with him about everything but what his father did to you, isn’t helping. He has enough on his plate without you adding stuff to it.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Just that you should give him some time, Gemma.” Mei huffed. “I’m not good at this, so I don’t really know how to explain it, but you should just be careful. Maybe wait until things in town are calmer.”
“You’re unbelievable.” Gemma turned and started walking away.
“I told you I’m no good at this,” Mei called after her. “I don’t have many friends, Gemma. I don’t know how it works.”
Gemma glanced over her shoulder and delivered her parting blow. “We aren’t friends.”
She didn’t wait around to see what Mei’s reaction was. It wasn’t like the woman would cry.
**
“Come on.”
Dan walked faster to keep up with the two guys in ski masks. His itched, and he did not like walking around town dressed in black with his face covered, but the mayor had insisted.
Dan and the two men ran through the back streets of town keeping to the shadows. “So where are we headed?”
“The mayor said this was a test. Not supposed to tell you where we’re going, but it’s going to be good.” He grinned. “The time has come to make a big splash and let the whole town know we mean business.”
The man beside him laughed. Dan followed them to the library. Instead of skirting the building the first man stopped by the back door and pulled out a key.
“It’s a shame we weren’t allowed to smash a window. That might have been fun.”
“This operation is at the library?”
The two men ignored Dan's question and went inside. “You find the door, I'm going to look around,” the first man said to his buddy.
Dan followed them in and closed the door as quietly as he could behind him.
One of the men looked back and snickered. “No one’s going to know we're here. Everyone in town is hiding at home so they don’t get murdered like Antonia.”
Dan said, “Don’t forget Sam Tura. He was nearly killed as well.” The gym and diner owner was recovering under armed guard—two of Frannie’s old-man buddies apparently.
The second man put his arm around Dan’s shoulder and pulled him deeper inside the Library. “Don’t worry about Phil he’s a conspiracy theory nut, and he wants to sensationalize every darn thing. He has all the classified documents from the moon landing. But you don’t want to listen to his two hour speech about how it was all a hoax.”
Dan just nodded, for want of something better to do.
Then he was shoved further toward the bookshelves. “You’re the lookout, farmer-Dan. We have work to do.”
Dan had been right. These two men weren’t in this because they thought it would make Sanctuary better. They were on a power trip, and it was the ride of their lives.
They thought Dan would what, read a book, while they did whatever they had planned? Yeah right. This might be small in the grand plan the mayor had going on, given they weren’t likely to test him on something big, but it was all information he could pass on to John and Mei.
Dan sat at a computer, tempted to fire it up and play a worship song from YouTube. They didn’t buy his sudden allegiance to their side, but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t a fool proof plan because Dan was a farmer and not a professional whatever-they-were. Secret agent wannabes. Those skills weren’t in his arsenal.
So Dan employed the weapons he did have and bowed his head
Snickers came from the other side of the large room, and then feet pounded downstairs. Minutes later there was a hum in the air and the computer turned off. Make that all of the computers turned off. Dan moved to the nearest light switch. Okay, that worked at least. All the power wasn’t out.
“Turn the light off!”
“What did you guys do?”
They trotted up some stairs and through a door Dan was pretty sure hadn’t been there before. Both men had grins on their faces. The first one into the room said, “Shut off the internet and the computers. It’ll look like a brown-out.”
Phil brought up the rear, still grinning. “No contact with the outside world.”
His friend slapped him on the chest with the back of his hand.
Dan said, “Did you shut off internet to everything, or just the computers in here?”
Phil’s friend frowned. “This is everything.”
“The sheriff has an iPad. And he and Mei have satellite phones that call out of town.”
Both men blinked. They hadn’t known about the iPad at least. Phil rushed to say, “I bet the mayor knows. I bet he has a plan.”
“Yeah, he has a plan.”
Dan stared at them both.
“Now for the fun part.” Phil raised his eyebrows. It was entirely disturbing.
“What?” Dan was just eager to go.
The other man strode to the bookshelves and swept the whole row onto the floor. “How about we make a pile and set fire to it?”
Phil strode to him. “Great idea.”
There was no way he was going to let them do that, but how did he derail their plan without letting them know that was exactly what he was doing? “Uh, we might not have time—”
The front door handle rattled, and they all turned to look. Gemma was here and if she looked up, she’d see them all. It was dark, maybe they’d be obscured, but she would be able to see them.
A key turned in the lock. “Hide.” But neither man moved, so Dan whispered as loud as he could, “Let’s go!”
The lights flashed on.
Their boots pounded the carpet as they beat feet to the back door. Dan pumped his arms and legs, in danger of getting left behind by these two younger men.
“Who’s there?” Gemma ran in their direction.
The two guys raced out into the night. Dan stopped to look back. He didn’t want to. Would she know it was him under the mask? He wanted to pray she didn’t recognize him, but he couldn’t bring himself to think those words. God had asked for honesty as long as Dan had known Him—that was how their relationship worked. He wasn’t about to start with deceit now.
She stopped short at the door. Her eyes widened. He saw the breath, the flash of recognition. “Dan.”
He kept his voice low. “You got here right in time. I wasn’t going to let them destroy any of the books, or your things, but they went in the basement and shut off the internet.”
“I’ll tell John.”
Hopefully those two guys had run off and weren’t listening to what Dan and Gemma were saying. Otherwise they’d probably tell the mayor, and Dan would end up at the lake with a bullet in his head. John would never forgive himself.
Gemma frowned. “Why are you here? Why break into my library?”
“To shut off the internet, apparently.” Didn’t he just say that? “I think it’s another piece of this puzzle, like everything.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
He didn’t want to talk about the last conversation they’d had here. He wasn’t ready to think about leaving Sanctuary. Not when so much was happening. “I’m not talking about us. I’m not even sure there is an ‘us.’” It was a low blow, but if they were watching, then Dan had to make sure they saw what he needed them to see.
She stepped closer, but Dan shook his head. “I’m going to figure out this ‘mayor’ thing for John.”
“Why you?”
“I live in this town, just like everyone else. I want to help, so I figured out a way to do that.”
Gemma’s gaze hardened. “Then why isn’t everyone else helping? Why is it you that has to do it?” Her eyes were wet. Dan could hardly look at them, or he’d want to hug her. She said, “Did Mei tell you to do this?”
“Don’t worry about Mei.” She flinched, but he continued, “You need to let me do this, Gemma. I already found out they’re making a move soon.”
“A move to what?”
“I don’t know. Yet. But I’m going to find out.” Dan needed her to understand. “I think it has to do with cutting off the town from the outside world, and I think they started with this.”
“Disconnecting the internet?” When he nodded, she said, “That would be a good first move if they want everyone in town under their thumb.”
“If that’s the plan, it’s a good one. A coup.”
“But the mayor is quitting. Who will be in charge?”
Dan said, “That’s a really good question I’m going to find out the answer to.”
Gemma blew out a breath. “So what now?”
Someone shuffled behind the trees. They were probably watching, still testing him. Trying to find out if he was trustworthy. “I have to go. And I have to make it look good.”
He closed in then, and backed her against the wall with one hand just below her throat. “Act like you’re scared.”
Gemma lifted her chin. “I could never be scared of you.”
“Then act like I’m a bad guy.”
“I don’t think that would ever be convincing.”
“Thanks for your faith in me.” He pushed off her, turned and started walking away and called out, “Then quit stalking me, woman. It’s getting old.”
“Dan!” She called his name like she was distraught. Like he’d just told her he was leaving to be with another woman.
He strode to the trees. Before he reached it, a voice said, “She recognized you?”
“Yeah.” He raised his own so they could hear. “Thinks she can claim me. Like I’d be seen with her.”