CHAPTER NINE

Be Afraid

Follow Your Gut

It’s Saturday night. A group of friends pulls up at your home to pick you up. You’re excited for a night out with them. As you’re about to climb into the car, you suddenly get a pit in your stomach. Weird, you think. These are my friends—what do I have to worry about? Yet you still have a queasy feeling. You shrug it off and get into the car.

Now it’s Sunday night. You’re preparing for your history presentation the next morning. You have to give a ten-minute speech about ancient Rome in front of the whole class. As you picture looking at all their faces, you get the same queasy feeling in your stomach.

What do these situations have in common? In both, your stomach is sending you a message: beware! Our gut is such a powerful communicator that scientists have dubbed it our “second brain.” It contains a network of millions of supersensitive neurons that can detect potentially dangerous situations and send us warning messages. These could be pits in our stomach, goose bumps, or other communications from our bodies.

The question in the moment is, which kind of gut reaction are you having? Is it actual danger that you might not be seeing? Or is it just harmless excitement or nervousness—“butterflies”?

Either way, I try to stay tuned to that gut feeling and figure out what it’s telling me. I start by asking myself, Could I actually be harmed by this situation? If the answer is yes, I try to take the necessary steps to leave the situation and stay safe. If the answer is no, and there is no danger, then I think, This is something you can tackle.

For example, when you are getting into the car with your friends, it might be helpful to think, I’m not sure of my friend’s driving skills, or where this party is. Could I be harmed here? Your gut may be telling you things you need to know. Maybe you decide to bail on the party.

Face Your Fear

Other times, our “second brain” message may just mean that the situation is awkward, embarrassing, or challenging but not dangerous. Like your history presentation. You will feel embarrassed speaking in front of your class. You might even mess up badly. People might laugh! But you won’t be in danger. So when you’re feeling queasy the night before, you can take note of your fear, but then start preparing for your talk.

Speaking of speaking, talking to a group is one of the biggest fears for most humans. I know it wasn’t easy for me at first. But with practice we can tackle anything—even public speaking! Here are a few steps to help face your fear and give a great presentation:

1. Prepare your talk by writing down the major points on note cards. Now, if you forget what to say, you’ll have backup! Practice without the cards as much as possible, so you won’t have to look down a lot during the presentation.

2. Practice while holding a pet or stuffed animal. Say the words as if you’re talking lovingly to that animal, not delivering a speech to a classroom. This will help you get out of your head and into the flow.

3. Next, practice in front of your parents, siblings, friends, or anybody you trust. This will help you prepare for the big day without feeling too nervous. They will still love you no matter how badly you mess up—maybe even more so!

4. Now is the big day. Go forth knowing that you have practiced a lot and you’re ready.

As you go about your day, be aware of any signs that your gut is sending you. You might notice a feeling when you’re about to have an uncomfortable conversation with a friend, or experience a big life change. Whatever the situation, fully acknowledge whatever signs come up.

Q&A

Q: What if I don’t feel a pit in my stomach in dangerous situations? How can I get in better touch with my second brain?

A: A helpful way to connect with our gut is by doing a body-scan meditation. This gets us in tune with our body, so we can better sense if something feels off in our gut.

10-MINUTE BODY-SCAN MEDITATION

1. Lie down on your bed or the floor. Get as comfortable as possible. You may want to place a cushion under your knees or a small blanket under your head.

2. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. How does your body feel? Tense, stressed, peaceful, calm? Just observe.

3. Beginning at the very top of your head, very slowly scan your entire body. Go down your head, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, fingers, chest, rib cage, belly, thighs, calves, ankles, feet, and toes.

4. With each body part, what do you feel? Is there a tingling sensation, tightness, or even pain? You don’t need to label anything—just breathe into the sensations.

5. Take one final deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.