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Veronica had tolerated the pain in silence for so long, it frightened Rohesia when she started screaming. But soon, as she went out of her mind with agony, her screams became pleas for it all to end. Rohesia had given birth twice, of course, and knew typical labor pain, so she could tell Veronica’s pain was different. Veronica sobbed and begged for Earstien, the physician, the midwife, Rohesia, anyone to make it stop.
Eventually, her pain came to an end, leaving behind a ringing in Rohesia’s ears and a beautiful baby
girl in Rohesia’s arms.
A lovely girl Veronica did not live to see.
The Bishop of Pinshire stood from where he had been sitting at Veronica’s bedside praying. He came over to Rohesia and with crooked, old fingers he brushed the dark fuzz atop the baby’s head. Rohesia held her tighter.
“Do you know what she is to be called?”
Rohesia could not answer. All her attention was on the silent servants bustling around, gathering bloody towels and bloody basins of water. The bed looked worse than the battlefield outside, she suspected. A battlefield where her brother fought, not knowing his wife had breathed her last. Assuming he had not already joined her in the Light of Earstien himself.
“What news of the battle?” she asked.
“Sir Robert Tynsdale is awaiting you in the next room with news,” the bishop answered.
“It goes ill for us, I fear.”
“I would not like to say.”
She laughed painfully. The baby did not care for the rough sound and began to cry. Rohesia swayed her gently, but she lacked what the little girl needed.
“Let me take her, your majesty,” said the wetnurse, holding out her hands to receive the baby. As there was nothing useful Rohesia could do, she passed over the child.
“I will go speak with Sir Robert and then see the king,” she announced, rising. She failed to see how either of these things would help anything or anyone, either, but the smell of blood would choke her if she remained in the room.
Everyone bowed or curtsied, but she did not really see any of it. She was looking one final time at Veronica’s pale, delicate face, a smear of blood across her cheek. Rohesia longed to wash it off, but she knew her composure already wavered at its breaking point. Without another word or glance, she swept from the room.
Robert sprang to his feet when she joined him in the sitting room of Veronica and Lawrence’s suite. Everyone else—useless ladies, fidgety servants—stood as well, but she had no time for them. “Everyone, leave us,” she commanded, moving to take a seat on a sofa beside Robert’s chair. By the time she had her skirts smoothed, she and Robert were alone.
“Let me begin by offering my sincerest condolences on the passing of Countess Veronica,” Robert said.
“She didn’t really ‘pass,’ though, did she?” Rohesia intoned, staring at nothing in the middle of the room. “Life was ripped from her, in more ways than one. But that is a fate all women risk, and there is nothing we can do about it, lest all mankind perish.”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“How bad is it? Out there in the battle? When will Broderick be knocking at the door? Do you think we will get Countess Veronica buried first?”
“The enemy has broken through the southern wall, but a plan to halt his progress south of Emerson Square is already underway.”
“He’s in the city, Robert. It is only a matter of time.” As he did not say anything, even in an attempt to comfort her, she assumed things must be extremely dire. Most probably even worse than he had already told her. “What else?”
“The final blow to the wall was magysk. Lord Caedmon says it was Lady Jorunn. He is discussing the matter with the king, and then will take it to council as soon as it may be convened.”
She forced herself to meet Robert’s eye. His demeanor was as stoic as ever, but he was dirty and exhausted. She did not think he had ever presented himself to her in such a state—he usually took such meticulous care of his appearance. Perhaps he had hurried because he had even worse news.
“And how many of the privy council will be joining this meeting? Have all those who went into battle returned from it? Is my brother—”
A sob caught in her throat, and she could speak no more. She turned away from Robert, wishing this entire day might be banished forever from memory. But then Robert did something he had never done before in all the long years of their acquaintance—he set his own hand atop hers.
“He lives, your majesty. When I came here to report to you, he was behind our lines and making his way here to the Bocburg. He has quite likely already returned while I waited for you.”
She let out a shuddering breath that released several tears from her eyes. She rested her other hand
on Robert’s and squeezed. “Thank you, Robert. I do not know that I could have survived another blow today.”
“You could survive floods, famine, and pestilence. You are the most remarkable woman in the world.”
Rohesia sniffed, and a few more tears rolled down her cheeks. “You mustn’t let your wife hear you say such things.” After giving his hand a final squeeze, she wiped her last few tears away. “I must go see the king. Discuss with him our next step and break the news about his aunt.” She rose.
“Of course, your majesty,” Robert said, snapping to attention on his feet. “Is there anything you need me to do?”
“Helena. The bishop asked if I knew what the baby was to be called. Veronica wished for a daughter to be named Helena. Please let the bishop know.”
It wasn’t far down the hall to the nursery where she had left her children what felt like a lifetime ago. How much had Caedmon explained to Edwin? Perhaps she should have brought Robert with her in case Edwin had questions, since she knew so little. Whatever the case, he would know all soon enough. None of them would be able to avoid it.
“It’s alright, Alice,” Rohesia could hear Jennifer Stansted say when she stopped outside the nursery door. “No one is coming to steal you in the night.”
“But cousin Broderick is in Leornian. He will kill us all.”
“Oh no, he won’t,” Edwin declared. “I will fight him, and the best man will then be king.”
Rohesia entered to find the children huddled on cushions in front of the fire. Jennifer had an arm around Alice, and Edwin was sitting as tall as he might, trying to look as though he could defeat a grown man in battle. Beyond them on a sofa sat Elwyn. She wore a practical brown riding dress with hunting knives hanging from her belt, a bow in her hands and quiver at her side. Rohesia was about to chastise Elwyn for scaring her brother and sister, but she did not think she could fault the precaution, even with guards in the room and all around the castle.
Elwyn jumped up from her seat, fumbling in her pocket as she approached Rohesia. She held out her handkerchief and whispered, “You have a little blood under your left ear.”
Rohesia had to force down a sob as she remembered tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear after holding Veronica’s bloody hand as she screamed. She scrubbed quickly and discreetly as Elwyn stood between her and the children. When Elwyn finally nodded, Rohesia handed back the handkerchief and cleared her throat.
“Jennifer is right, Alice. No one is coming to take you away tonight.”
“See?” Jennifer insisted. “Even your mom says so.”
“But Cousin Broderick has taken the city,” wailed Alice. “He will take us away or put us to the sword.”
Rohesia knelt on the floor with her children. “That will not happen today, and likely not at all. Come here, Edwin, I need to talk to you.”
Edwin scrambled over and sat on Alice’s other side from Jennifer. Elwyn still stood behind, and Rohesia exchanged a quick look with her. “I have to tell you some more bad news. I’m so sorry this all had to happen today.”
“Are you going to marry me off to Cousin Broderick’s awful son because Elwyn wouldn’t have him?” Alice asked. “I don’t want him if Elwyn thinks he’s bad.”
A lump caught in Rohesia’s throat as she thought of the even less amenable match she had proposed on Alice’s behalf with Aldrick’s son. Would everything have been different if she had accepted Aldrick, she wondered? Perhaps Broderick would already have been defeated. And without a battle raging, perhaps Veronica’s labor would have been easier. Lawrence, at the very least, could have been with her. This entire awful day might not be happening if she had only agreed.
“No, Alice. I have made no promises to Broderick about anything. This is about your Aunt Veronica and her baby.”
“They are well, aren’t they?” Edwin demanded, still not fully comprehending that stating something forcefully enough did not make it so, even if you were king.
“No, darling. Having a baby can be very difficult sometimes.” She paused and looked again at Elwyn, whose hand had flown to her mouth in shock. “The baby is well. A little girl, named Helena. But it was too much for your Aunt Veronica, and she died.”
Alice immediately burst into uncontrollable tears, Jennifer hugging her tightly. Edwin, however, just sat staring back at Rohesia, as though he had not understood what she had said. Elwyn seemed recovered from her own shock and knelt behind him to rest a hand on his shoulder.
“Are you alright, Edwin?” asked Elwyn.
“I don’t understand,” Edwin said. “How can she have died having a baby? You had two babies and didn’t die,” he said accusingly to Rohesia.
“It’s different for every mother,” she tried to explain, but she did not know if she had the energy left to make him understand. “It is very sad when things go wrong, and most mothers live, but sometimes this happens instead.”
“Pardon me, if I may,” said a gentle voice behind Rohesia. She looked over her shoulder to see Caedmon, a small, understanding smile on his lips. “Your majesty,” he said to Edwin, “I have lived for a very long time, and studied both religion and medicine. And yet, the mysteries of life remain. Not even I can know who will live or die, and many who I think should live are called to Earstien’s Light instead. It is always tragic, and yet it is a part of life we cannot escape.”
Edwin rubbed at his eyes with a fist. “Uncle Lawrence will be very sad.”
“Indeed, he will, your majesty. I believe your love and comfort will be most important to him in the days to come.”
“I will do anything he needs.”
Caedmon bowed to him. “I have no doubt you will, your majesty. Now, if I may, I must request your mother, the queen regent, join me for the privy council meeting.”
Rohesia stood and straightened her skirts. “Of course. We have much to discuss.”
With a quick kiss for Edwin and Alice, Rohesia took her leave of the children and Elwyn. She and Caedmon set off for the council room, the needs of the kingdom feeling impossibly huge to her. To compound her pain, the tragedies of the day were everywhere on their walk. In deference to Veronica’s passing and the dead in battle, the servants and soldiers hurried around the castle in eerie silence. It was as if the calamities had left them mute. Rohesia could understand. She did not particularly wish to speak, and yet, she had questions. Even though she dreaded the answers.
“Do you know if my brother has returned? If he has been told about his wife?”
“I saw him just before I came to you.” Caedmon answered softly. “One of the physicians and Duchess Elena were taking him to the library so that they might speak to him privately.”
Rohesia debated delaying the council meeting so that she might see Lawrence first. She assumed he would be too distraught to attend, and she hated waiting until the meeting ended to console him, having no idea how long it would take to discuss what options they had left. But the whole city could fall at any moment. What about all the brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, parents and children, who would be parted by death if she could not protect them? She suddenly found herself wishing her own mother were not so far away.
This was what it meant to be queen, she reminded herself. This was what she had agreed to all those years ago when as a teenager she had returned to court from her life in the Empire to be queen. The only person in her family who could come before the people of Myrcia was Edwin, and she needed to save his kingdom.
“What will you do about Lady Jorunn?” she asked, focusing on the war, as she must.
“I have sent a message to Diernemynster in the hope of gaining clarification on their policy in this war. I still do not wish to use magy offensively, but I will be volunteering to take a more active role in the defense of the Sigor army and the people of Leornian. I...have not decided if I will attempt to communicate with her directly.”
She could have hoped for more from him, but she would take it. They had reached the council room. “Let us begin, then.” She nodded to the guards, who pushed open the door, and she entered.