Monday seemed like the longest day of my life. Impatiently I sat through my classes barely paying attention, which was something I’d never done before. Everything the teachers had to say seemed pretty trivial compared to what was going on in my life. With a stroke of bizarre luck, I now had a supernatural, almost-boyfriend who I’d tricked into revealing his identity. On top of that, I was positive that he was furious with me at the moment. I was so afraid he wouldn’t forgive me. Of course, I realized how wrong and unfair I had been to put him in this situation. Obviously, I should have asked him about it, confronted him face to face, rather than doing something reckless. But I couldn’t change the past. Hopefully, he would give me another chance.
It was obvious that keeping his identity secret was a priority for him. It was hard for me not to worry that he might think keeping me around would risk revealing his secret to the world. The one thing I could do to make myself feel slightly better was to assume that he had been planning to tell me. He hadn’t lied to me before; he had probably just been trying to figure out a way to tell me that would make me believe him. It most likely wasn’t an easy thing to admit on a first date. If it had been the other way around, I’d have probably done the same thing he had. But me being me, I’d forced it out of him before he was ready. Now all I could do was ask him to give me another chance.
Gym class went by just as it had before I’d met Rowan. He never once looked at me or even glanced in my direction. I watched him the entire time, mentally pleading with him to just look my way. But he never did.
After class, I changed back into my normal clothes and walked out of the locker room looking for Rowan. He was standing by the gym doors with his backpack slung over his shoulder. His eyes were staring at the floor, a somber expression on his face. For the first time when looking at him, I didn’t see beauty. I saw that powers like his could potentially do harm rather than good. What he was was not only surrounded by magic and light, but also by a power so intense that it was impossible not to fear.
He raised his eyes to meet mine, not smiling as he usually did when he saw me, but furrowing his brow. I could feel the immense weight of the guilt of what I’d done yesterday rise up inside me. He walked over to me, keeping his eyes fixed on mine the entire way. With every step he took, I felt more guilty, more foolish for not understanding the magnitude of what I’d uncovered. I’d opened the door into an entire new world, and no matter how hard I tried, I could never shut it again. He looked down at me, his expression softening. I could see compassion and what I hoped was love in his eyes. He softly smiled—not his usual confident, gorgeous smile, but one filled with much more sadness. He took my hand and gently kissed it.
“I’m sorry for being so cold,” he said, “but there’s a lot we need to talk about.”
Rowan drove us back to his house, and we hiked up into the meadow. The entire trip was uncomfortably silent. Usually, I was able to be close to him without feeling the need to talk, but now I couldn’t help fidgeting. Somehow, everything I did to try to distract myself only made me more nervous. Once inside the meadow, I saw that there was already a blanket with several bowls of fruit on the ground. We walked over to it and sat down opposite of each other. My stomach was churning from all of the guilt. I felt like I might be sick.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted. “Rowan, I’m so sorry. I never meant to put you in the situation I did yesterday. I was only thinking of myself, not of you. I didn’t think of the consequences my actions might have. It was stupid, really.”
I stared at the blanket beneath me, not able to look at him. My fingers found a couple of loose strands coming off the edge of the blanket and began tugging on them. I refused to look up at his eyes, not wanting to see the anger I knew would fill them.
“I don’t blame you, Lily. I blame myself,” he said. “If I had been honest with you from the beginning, from the moment we became more than friends, none of it would have happened. I was planning to tell you eventually, but I wanted to protect you, to keep you safe from the parts of my world that aren’t good. There are bad things in my world, Lily, things that make me want to keep you here safe in this meadow forever. But what happened yesterday, it proves what I already knew about you. You’re strong and determined. I couldn’t hide you from the dangerous things in my world even if I wanted to, because you’re not afraid of them. You’re not afraid of what I am, and even more impressive is how you’re not afraid to be with me. I never thought you’d believe me if I told you what I was. A fae, a faerie. I thought you’d laugh, call me crazy, maybe never talk to me again.”
He reached toward me and took both of my hands in his. I sat there, stunned. He didn’t blame me at all. This was a far better outcome than I had been hoping for. Logically I had assumed that I would have to earn his trust back, but that’s not what he was asking for at all. All the things he’d said about me, they were wonderful. Like most people, I’d never thought of myself as brave or strong. He thought so much more of me than I thought of myself.
“The only thing I haven’t figured out,” he said, “is how you knew. How did you find out?”
“When we came here on Saturday, after we got out of the lake, I saw you walking. The plants grew underneath your feet,” I said.
“I never even thought of that,” he said. “I was so focused on you, I let my guard down.”
This was getting better by the minute. I tried to keep my excitement somewhat contained, but I’d never been particularly skilled at hiding my emotions. I squeezed his hands, looking directly into his eyes.
“I want you to let your guard down around me, Rowan, I really do. I want all of you, the real you, not the mask you show to the rest of the world.”
His face seemed to grow dark and even more serious. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how he could manage to look so good yet so serious at the same time. He let go of my hands and rubbed his face. He put his hands in his lap, sighing and bringing his eyes back up to meet mine.
“I love you, Lily. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything. I’ve only known you for this short time, just over a month, but every second I’ve been with you has been more important to me than the days I spent without you. I want to be with you, Lily. I want to have a relationship, to be your partner. But you have to know that you’re the only human I’ve ever told about who I am. You have to know that if you were to be with me, you couldn’t tell anyone, not even your parents. Faeries have existed in secret for as long as humans have walked the earth, and our secret can’t be revealed now. Being with me wouldn’t be the easiest option for you, Lily. You’d have to hide what I am from everyone for the rest of your life. I don’t want to force you into this; it wouldn’t be an easy way to live. I want to give you an out. If you’re not ready for this, we can forget it ever happened.”
I sat there dumbfounded. It was like I had just won the lottery, but the person who had delivered the news was apologizing about it. None of it made any sense. However, that didn’t mean I wasn’t happy about it. I just couldn’t understand how anyone as amazing, unique, and beautiful as him would want to be with me, faerie or not.
“Rowan, I love you too, and I want to be with you. You’re the only person I’ve ever felt really understood me. Human, faerie, it doesn’t matter to me. You’re the only guy I’ve ever been with that’s loved me for me. I’m not a normal teenager. I don’t dress, act, or talk like one. But you don’t either. We’re both so different from the rest of the world, but so similar to each other, it’s incredible,” I said.
Rowan opened his mouth to say something but evidently decided to kiss me instead. This kiss was different from any of the kisses we’d had before, yet it was just as amazing. There was so much more emotion. So much desperation to be loved was packed into this kiss that it overwhelmed me. It was blissful, yet urgent. Controlled, but reckless. No one word could describe the emotions flowing between the two of us in that moment. It was as if I couldn’t remember when my emotions stopped and his began. They seemed to blur together into one. We, as people, seemed to mesh into a jumbled combination that was unable to be separated. Love suddenly wasn’t defined by books and romance novels, as it once had been for me. Now when I thought of what love was, I thought of Rowan.
He pulled away, and I saw tears running down his cheeks. This big, strong, terrifyingly tough looking man was crying tears of joy because he had me. Nothing in the world had ever made me happier.
We got up from the blanket and decided to swim in the lake. While drying off, I thought of some questions to ask Rowan.
“Rowan,” I said, sitting down next to him on the grass. “There are some practical things that it would be helpful if I knew.”
“Of course. I should have thought of that earlier. It’s all so normal to me that I forget it’s not normal to you. All right, let’s start with basic things. All faeries are born from faerie parents and age exactly the same way humans do. We eat the same foods, do the same things, and live our lives very similarly to humans. Most faeries have jobs in the human world, and live in it too. However, many fae, like myself, live in a small group of faeries. It’s mainly for the purpose of community, but also provides opportunities for young fae to become acquainted and start relationships,” he said, kind of sounding like he’d rehearsed his speech.
“Wait, so you’re supposed to marry a fae and have a family with her? Is that like a rule you have to follow?” I asked, a little concerned.
If that was some kind of official rule, it might be a bit of a problem for us.
“No, it’s nothing like that. Most faeries just choose to marry other faeries out of convenience. It’s not required, it’s just that most of them don’t want to deal with the complications of starting a relationship with and telling a human about our world.”
“So how do you keep track of everyone? Do you have a government that takes a census or something?” I asked. I could feel my inner nerd taking over the conversation, but I couldn’t really stop it from happening.
He laughed. “No, we don’t have anything like that. Most fae don’t care any more about strangers than humans do. We stay within our own communities and mostly live private, secluded lives. We live under the same government as humans. I have a birth certificate and passport that’s the same as any other person’s would be. The only real difference is our abilities. Here, let me show you some examples of what I can do.”
Rowan stood up and started walking toward an apple tree. I watched as he placed his hand on the tree, closing his eyes. The tree began growing, becoming taller as its branches grew thicker. All of the leaves on the tree became greener, and a few of the apples even ripened. He walked away from the tree, moving over toward a cluster of daffodils. He crouched down, cupping several of the flowers in his hands. The stems of the flowers shot upward, and new flowers started to emerge from the ground beside them. I watched, smiling. It was the most surreal thing I’d ever seen. It was fascinating to watch as he influenced and controlled the natural world around him. I could only wonder how incredible it would be to be able to do things like that.
Rowan moved on from the flowers, walking over toward a few strawberry plants that were growing underneath another plant’s leaves. They looked like they hadn’t had enough sunlight and were heavily drooping. Rowan brushed away the leaves blocking the plants and positioned his palm in front of them. Beams of light, similar to the ones that had caught me yesterday, extended from his hand. The plants immediately reacted to the light and began growing. Within seconds, the blossoms from the strawberry plants transformed into bright red strawberries. Rowan picked a few and brought them over to me, sitting down beside me again. I took several berries out of his hand and ate them. They were the best strawberries I’d ever had, each one perfectly ripe and extremely juicy.
“Rowan, this is incredible! You’re incredible,” I said, continuing to eat the berries.
He smiled, untucking a piece of hair from behind my ear. “I suppose it is incredible. I’d never really thought about it that way before,” he said. “I’ve spent my whole life surrounded by other faeries. I never thought having abilities was anything out of the ordinary.”
He picked up a strawberry and ate it.
“Can all faeries do things like that?” I asked.
“Oh, no. Our abilities differ from faerie to faerie, but generally, they are related to the element, season, or thing that you have an affinity for. For example, I’m a summer faerie. That means that I can make plants grow, fruit ripen, and create beams of sunlight,” he explained, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. If I did something like that, I’d probably be considered some kind of superhero.
“Those all sound like wonderful things,” I said, slightly envious.
“They are. But all fae are capable of using their magic for evil purposes, as well as good,” he said.
I watched as he picked a piece of grass, holding it between his fingers. Squeezing it, the piece of grass shriveled up and died. I looked at him in surprise.
“So, you can burn things too?” I asked.
“Yes. The same light that I use to enhance life can also take that life away. My abilities aren’t innately good or bad. It all comes down to intent and what purposes I use it for. My family, and all the other faeries I know, choose to use our talents purely for good purposes.”
I smiled at him, picking up another strawberry and eating it. As cool as it would be to be able to do things like that, I wasn’t sure I’d want the responsibility that came along with it. In this case, I decided it might be more of a blessing to be normal than gifted with an obligation to secrecy and responsibility.
After a few more hours in the meadow, Rowan took me home. We sat in his car for a few minutes before I went inside. He leaned over, gently running his hand through my hair. I loved it when he did that. I didn’t know why, but it made me feel relaxed.
“Can I take you to dinner tomorrow?” he asked.
“Yeah, that sounds perfect,” I answered.
He leaned over farther, keeping his hand in my hair while kissing me. He grinned, seemingly back to his charming self.
“I love you, Lily Rhodes,” he whispered, his forehead still pressed against mine.
“I love you too, Rowan Marx,” I said, leaning in for another perfect kiss.