I woke up the next morning and looked around the room. Ginger was slumped over in my comfy chair in the corner of the room. She was still wearing her clothes from the previous day and looked as if she hadn’t been asleep very long. Giselle was lying on the floor beside my bed with a pillow over her head. She was also still in the same clothes she had worn the night before, but she had taken her heels off and traded them for a pair of fuzzy socks. They both looked exhausted. I felt bad for keeping them up all night, but I didn’t think I could have made it without them. I thought we’d been close before, but I now knew that they were probably the most devoted friends I’d ever had. Especially now that Jack had seemingly ended our friendship.
Jack.... Thinking about him was like shoving a dagger into my heart. He’d been my everything for four years. He’d saved my life. Before Jack, I hadn’t had any friends. I’d been totally alone. Sure, there had been people that I’d talked to at school, but no one that I could truly bare my soul to. Jack had been like my twin flame. Losing him was like losing a piece of myself. He’d been there for me through everything, except for this. The worst part was, he hadn’t only turned away from me, he’d traded my friendship for the type of people we’d always fought against. The boys he’d been with last night, they were the type of people we’d promised ourselves we’d never be. In tenth grade, Jack had organized a Drug Free Clubs of America event, and now he was hanging out with people that smuggled alcohol onto school property. It’s not like he was discouraging their behavior either; he’d been participating in it. He wasn’t acting like the Jack I knew, the Jack that had been my best friend. He had never done anything like this before.
A horrible thought suddenly occurred to me. What if I’d driven him to this? What if his jealousy, loneliness, and despair at my not loving him back had caused him to go down this path? What if he was throwing his life away because of me. His eyes had looked grief-stricken last night, as if he’d lost someone. That, someone, had to be me. Not that he’d lost me in the literal sense, but he’d lost the possibility of my loving him. Maybe he’d finally accepted what I’d been asking him to all this time, that I was in love with Rowan. And with that, he’d realized that I’d never love him, not in the way he wanted me to. But I hadn’t denied him friendship; he’d denied that for himself. I had gone after him, urging him to come with me. I had to know that he had been the one to turn me away. That was his choice. Even though it was a result of his feelings for me, I was not the one at fault. He’d accepted my choice to be with Rowan. Now I had to accept his.
My feet softly hit the floor as I made my way to the bathroom, careful not to wake anyone up. First, I took a shower, washing all of the sweat from the previous night off my body and out of my hair. Somehow I wished that I could wash away the memories, too. Quietly I dried my hair, something I rarely took the time to do. After drying it, I braided it into three dutch-braids from the crown of my head to the nape of my neck. I tied the braids off, pinning the rest of my hair into a tight bun.
There was no way I would allow myself to act like a victim. Yes, I had lost Jack, and getting over him would take more time than I could probably imagine. But I couldn’t forget what I still had and what I had gained. Rowan, the new constant rock in my life, was still with me. He was what I’d always dreamed of finding but never thought I actually would find. The way he’d taken care of me last night proved that he was chivalrous and responsible, qualities that few modern men had. There was no doubt that I was lucky to have him as my own. And I’d gained two of the most loving friends in the world, Ginger and Giselle. It was incredible to think that I could hardly imagine my life without them now. Although my life had become more complicated with the addition of faeries, it had also been made far more exciting. Like most nerdy girls, I’d always inwardly wished for an adventure like the ones in books. This must have been my adventure. But I’d never fully understood how difficult adventures were for the characters experiencing them. Not until I was experiencing my own. It was far more complicated to live the adventure when it was occurring in your own world. It was terrifying that I couldn’t simply close a book and go back to how my life had been before. As impossible as it seemed, I had to be my own heroine now.
With a steady hand, I applied a generous amount of eyeliner and mascara, something I wouldn’t have normally done. But today, I wanted to feel powerful.
Clearing my mind, I went to my closet and took out a black, knee-length sundress and my black sandals. I put them on and went downstairs. I took a steady breath before looking at the time. It was a few minutes after eleven. After opening the fridge, I took out some eggs and started frying them. We weren’t supposed to meet Rowan’s family for several more hours, and I was too hungry to wait that long to eat.
A while later, Ginger and Giselle came into the kitchen together. They had both changed clothes and redone their hair and makeup. My eyes met theirs while I was leaning on the counter, eating a plate of eggs.
“You look way better,” Giselle yawned.
“Are you sure you’re well enough to go?” Ginger asked. “It’s just a picnic. No one would blame you if you wanted to rest instead.” She poured two glasses of orange juice and handed one to Giselle.
“No, I’m really feeling much better. It’ll be nice to be around everyone again.” I finished my eggs, putting my plate in the sink.
My mom walked into the kitchen with a surprised expression on her face. She hadn’t changed out of her sweatpants, and her hair was clearly unbrushed.
“I didn’t expect you three to be awake yet, considering how late you were up last night. Are you sure you want to go today?” she asked.
“I’m sure.” I smiled, trying to show them that I didn’t want to be treated differently than any other day.
Yesterday was the ending, the time for crying. Today was simply the start of something new.