turns as politely as could be and flew off back to their duties as soon as they were done greeting me to make room for the rest. I didn’t know how long I stood there, too wrapped up in the joy to notice the aura around me had dimmed from the lack of lights until the last few came for their turn. I smiled sadly as I watched and felt them spin around me, ruffling my hair one last time, and looked after them wistfully as they floated away.
Leaving me alone.
I felt empty, and not just from the absence of radiating joy. The energy that had been building inside me since sunset was gone, at least for the moment, and I sagged as the exhaustion hit. I reached for the balustrade, but it was steps away, and I stumbled.
“Easy.”
Kor caught and steadied me. He had taken off the goggles he’d been using before, and now they hung around his neck.
I let out a deep breath. “Thanks. Um…I don’t suppose you know why I feel like I’ve run a marathon?”
“Greeting hundreds of one’s subjects all at once does that, I hear,” Kor said with a wink. “And those usually aren’t made of pure magic or bond to you at a touch.”
My jaw dropped. “My what?”
Kor slung an arm around my shoulders to turn me to face the rest of the chamber, where all the lights were busily back at work, and gestured grandly with his other arm. “As you said yourself, this place is your dominion, and these are your devoted servants.”
I scowled at him. “That’s not what I said at all.”
Kor shrugged. “Call it what you like. But whatever these things are—and I will figure out what they are—”
Kor’s face hardened for a moment, and I felt a flicker of unease, but the look was gone in an instant, making me wonder if I’d imagined it.
“—they are the reason for this hold’s miraculous state of preservation, and they have been waiting for you, and only you. That’s why they wouldn’t touch any of the rest of us before they greeted you. And now that you are here and they have woken, they have all acknowledged you as their mistress and sealed themselves as yours.”
I wanted to protest, but I knew it was more from Kor’s word choice than the reality of what he was saying. Hadn’t I called them mine?
But what I had meant, what I had felt.… That was different, but before I could put it to words, Ben called gruffly, “That’s enough, Kor. We get the picture.”
I turned to look behind me and gaped to see Ben staggering to his feet. Dizziness passed, I pulled away from Kor’s arm and rushed to him—which was ridiculous, since I could scarcely have supported Ben’s weight for even a second, and Yvera was already at his side. She had let him struggle at first, but at the sight of me hurrying over, she shot me a glare, grasped him under his arm, and pulled him up the rest of the way herself.
I slowed, ducking my head for a moment, but I couldn’t help raising my eyes back to Ben.
“Ben, what happened?”
“I could ask you the same question,” he said, glaring at me. “Except Kor just explained it all enough, as I just said.”
I stared at him, even deeper at sea with the added mystery of his irritation with me.
He grimaced and ran a hand through his hair. “Come on. I think we both need some good tsha after that. At least, I know I torched well do.”
“And maybe a few drops of sundew, if you are still planning on accompanying Sarah,” Kor said. With a kind of I told you so smirk.
“I am,” Ben snapped at him. He fisted a hand, and for one wild moment I thought he was going to hit Kor, but instead, he jerked away from us to stride toward the kitchen.
Yvera threw up her hands and made good use of her long legs to catch up with him. “Ben—”
“Save it, Yv.”
I stared wide-eyed at Kor. I couldn’t remember seeing Ben in such a bad mood. Given his size and power, it was mildly frightening.
“Kor,” I whispered. “What’s wrong?”
Kor looked at me with such pure innocence that I knew even before he spoke that he would lie. “I haven’t a clue.”
“Ugh!” I turned from him to follow Ben and Yvera…if at a slower, more cautious pace.
By the time I entered the kitchen (with Kor ambling along behind me), Ben wasn’t in sight, and Yvera was lounging against a counter, eating a roll from dinner. I’d half-expected her to be in an even worse temper than Ben, but she passed me over with the usual glare and looked at Kor.
“He’s gone to his room. Says not to bother him, that he’ll come out when it’s time.”
“Probably for the best,” Kor mused.
“Yeah,” Yvera said with a roll of her eyes. She brushed her hands together to wipe off the crumbs. “What do you think the odds are that he’ll fall asleep and miss moons-high?”
Kor raised an eyebrow. “Nil, because even if he does—which I doubt—I’ll wake him.”
Yvera pushed up from the wall to stand straight. “Kor, don’t tell me you’re on board with this! It’s our job to protect him—”
“In our own ways,” Kor interrupted smoothly. “Which is why I’ll give him some protection before he enters the chamber, whether or not he wants it. But don’t forget that our primary duty isn’t to Ben—it’s to the Six Realms, just as Ben’s is. And Ben is doing his duty by getting that torched message.”
“But if it’s a trap—”
Up until this point, I had faded into the background, and I was happy there. But then Kor pointed at me. “And if it is, would you have Sarah spring it alone? The Heir of the Moontouched that we have waited a thousand years for, that we have searched the Six Realms a year for, whom the Tree commanded us to find and protect? Is sending her alone duty, Yvera? Or is it selfishness?”
Yvera’s face hardened to ice. Without answering, she strode past us—shoving Kor as she did so—and out into the Rim.
After her footsteps faded, I said quietly, “That was a bit harsh.”
Kor looked after her. “But needed. One of Yvera’s greatest strengths—and weaknesses—is her narrowness of focus. Sometimes she has to be reminded of the larger picture.”
Especially when it comes to Ben, I thought sadly.
would only be a deken or so until moons-high, so he told me to rest while I had the chance and that either he or Ben would get me when it was time. And I tried, but the more time passed, the more energy trickled back into me, until I felt like a cup starting to overflow.
How am I going to sleep anymore? I thought as I paced my room restlessly. Am I going to become nocturnal?
That would be annoying even under the most benign circumstances; life as I’d known it would have to change. But for the time being, I was stuck traveling with three dragons who not only were most active but also were safest during the day. Any asset I could be at night would be offset by the dead weight I might become in the day.
Or was this a onetime fluke? It had come on so suddenly.… I’d only used “magic” for the first time last night, if you could call what I did to open the doors as doing that.
No…wait. Perhaps the very first time would be when Kor had me touch the gem on my door. I’d had a restless night after that, but that could have been from the fever as much as an awakening connection to…whatever this was.
Why was I even feeling this way? Why was I the reverse of what drakón, even Moontouched, had always been? What even was the source of this energy, anyway? Drakón got their power from the sun, or heat or food if they had to. Did that mean I got mine from the moon, or moons? (Was the fact that this world had two moons the reason I was feeling supercharged tonight?) But moons were just reflections of the sun, weren’t they? Wouldn’t that mean that my power would be diluted in comparison, at best?
The questions whirled through my mind as busily as the lights were buzzing around the hold, and far less productively. And so, I paced and pondered, trying to resist the urge to run laps around the Rim to burn off the energy, and, last but hardest of all…to try not to think about Ben.
As hard as that was becoming in general, it was even harder now that my mind kept fretting about why he was out of sorts. Maybe I should knock on his door, ask him what was wrong. Apologize if I was at fault. But he told Yvera that no one was to bother him, and he needed to be as rested as possible before we went into the ice chamber, and he only had a “deken” or so.…
However long that was, that time seemed to stretch on into infinity.
Just when I was feeling like I was going mad, a knock sounded on my door.
“Oh, thank goodness,” I breathed. Then froze in a panic as I realized that if this was showtime, I was unprepared.
“Wait one second, Kor! I’m getting ready!” I called out, riffling through the bags that Ben had deposited in my room at some point. Where was my coat? You’d think I wouldn’t have misplaced it already, since I had it on this morning.…
Sarah? Can I come in?
I froze again. Ben’s mental voice.
“S-sure?” I said, not sure why I stuttered or ended in a question mark.
Ben opened the door and stepped inside. He looked a little flushed, but that seemed from self-consciousness rather than anger, so I relaxed somewhat as I straightened.
“What’s up?”
“We need to talk about something,” Ben said quietly. “May I…close the door?”
My heart skipped a beat, but I kept my face straight as I nodded. He closed the door gently, but he only took a step away from it, leaving most of the room between us.
“What…do you want to talk about?” I asked, trying hard to hide how uncertain I was. And failing by folding my arms.
Bad move, I chided myself. You know that’s supposed to make you look defensive, closed off.
But if I rearranged my arms now, wouldn’t that be worse?
Ben didn’t look deterred, though. All traces of self-consciousness were gone as he set his jaw and gave me a look. One that made me feel like there were ants in my pants. As a goody-two-shoes teacher’s pet, as a quiet and obedient daughter, it was not a look I had gotten very often. In fact, it was that kind of look that I dreaded more than any other, the kind that just about killed me.
“Sarah Lind,” Ben said slowly. “I apologize for my temper a bit ago. But don’t you ever do that to me again.”
I stared at him. “Do what?”
“We were in a situation full of unknowns, and you ran from me and straight into potential danger.”
I gaped. “But…I knew it wasn’t dangerous—”
“But I didn’t!” Ben shot back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he released it, he met my eyes again. “Sorry. But that’s the thing, Sarah. You ran from me, and I didn’t know you would be alright.”
“But I told you.…” I trailed off as I realized just how little I had told him. Before I’d done just as he said.
I swallowed, but my throat was tight. “I was trying to show you, to prove.…”
“And if you’d been wrong?” Ben asked. “If you’d been hurt? Killed? Taken?”
I knew from the order he’d placed those fates which would be the worst. And I’d had enough exposure to the monsters of his worlds by now to have an inkling why.
“But Ben…I knew…I just knew they wouldn’t hurt me. That they couldn’t. They…spoke to me, in a weird way. I know it sounds crazy, but.…”
“I believe you, Sarah,” Ben said with a heavy breath. He ran a hand through his hair. “And I believe now that they don’t mean you harm. But I wouldn’t make a habit of believing everything you hear in your head. Or even what you feel. There are…things…out there that can speak to you, make you feel things.…”
My eyes widened, and my heart pounded.
“I don’t think those light things are bad,” Ben said. “They aren’t those monsters. Kor agrees they’re benign, too, so I think we’ve ruled that out. But the thing is, Sarah, they could have been. Back up to when we knew nothing, and try to see things from my perspective. You felt something that you didn’t explain fully to me, and then you ran from my protection. Then they surround you, faster than I could get to you, and suddenly I can’t even see you anymore.”
I stared, feeling my stomach twist. Of course. I’d thought to show him. Just show him and quickly brush away any misunderstandings. But of course he couldn’t see.…
“Not details,” Ben said. “Just a white haze. For all I knew, you could have been dying. Or not there at all.”
“Of course,” I groaned out loud.
Ben’s voice was gentler now. “Now, imagine how that made me feel.”
I flinched.
He pressed on, no matter how gentle his voice was. “I just about had a heart attack. And burned through most of my reserves fighting Kor and Yvera to get to you. That is why you found me sitting on the ground when it all was over. That was why I was in such a temper. And not just with you, to be honest. With Kor, Yv…but most of all, myself.”
“Why you?”
His eyes were hard gold. “Because I had failed to protect you. Both then and before by not explaining the kinds of things I’m explaining now. Sarah, I took a sacred oath not just to search for you but to protect you with my life when I found you. And oaths to the Tree aside, I promised you I’d get you home. So yes, the one I blame the most in this scenario is me.”
I sunk down onto my bed and wished I could sink further. “Ben.… That wasn’t your fault. At all. It was mine. I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t come here to make you feel guilty.” He paused, then grimaced. “Alright, maybe just a little bit. I’m only mortal.”
I laughed shakily as I tucked some hair behind my ear. “And I don’t blame you for it.”
“Because you’re too good,” he said with a sad shake of his head. “See, that’s the thing. You were too trusting. I know you’ve been working on following your instincts, and I’m glad to see it. But this situation had different stakes, and this time, we got lucky. From now on, in situations like that, you have to talk to me. To tell me what’s going on inside. Or give me at least some kind of warning so that I can help. I want you to promise me that.”
I bit my lip. “But what if I just…know? And you, Kor, Yvera.… What if no one is listening to me?”
I was used to no one listening to me outside my family. I was used to either suffering in silence or finding my own way. That was why I had thought that the best way was to show him. Prove it to him.
Ben nodded solemnly. “That’s a good point. So, I’ll make you a promise in return. I swear to always listen. And I mean the kind of listening in which I stop whatever I’m doing, hear you, and seriously consider what you have to say. I did that before, didn’t I? When you said you saw the gate, and neither Yvera nor I could.”
“You did,” I said faintly.
Why hadn’t I thought more about the significance of that? Probably because it had been one thing after the next ever since, but the full weight of it finally sunk into me. The Heir of dragonkind had stopped in the middle of a battle for his life to listen to me. And had risked all our lives on the slim chance I was right because he didn’t just listen but believed.
“I’ll always listen, Sarah,” Ben repeated. “I swear it.”
I took a deep breath for steadiness. “And I’ll make that promise: I will always speak to you before I do something like that again.”
Ben’s shoulders lowered in relief. “Good enough.”
I chuckled weakly. “Wasn’t that what you asked for?”
He gave me a crooked smile. “I know enough about leadership and people and you to know that I can’t ask for what I really want, which is for you to promise to always stay where it’s safe.”
“I’m no daredevil, Ben,” I said with a weak smile. “I’m pretty cowardly.”
“Ashes,” Ben said, and with a spark of fire in his eyes.
“Really. The only reason I did that was because I was sure it was safe.”
“That’s only common sense—self-preservation. I’m glad you’ve got that much. Though there are many dangers you aren’t aware of.…”
I shuddered. “Clearly. What are these things? The ones that can put thoughts into my head? Make me feel?”
Ben grimaced. Then sighed. “My first reaction was that we don’t need to get into that now. But one of my failures was not telling you about such things before, so you’d be on your guard.…”
He sighed as he looked at the ceiling. “But we really are running short on time now.…”
I stood and risked getting closer. Not so close that I had to crane my neck to meet his eyes, but close enough that I could feel the heat of him—stronger than I should have at a foot or two away. I didn’t think about the reason.
“I get it, I do. Stop beating yourself up about me, Ben. For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a great job. I.…” I took a deep breath, then the plunge. “I don’t think the Tree could have sent anyone better.”
He looked away and said nothing, but his eyes were blinking rapidly.
Following those instincts again, with the King’s voice whispering in my mind about reaching, I wrapped my arms around Ben to give him a brief hug of comfort.
At least, I’d meant it to be brief. But when Ben responded almost immediately by putting his own arms around me, when he held my head to his chest and pressed his other hand to the small of my back to bring me close, when his head ducked and his breath brushed the top of my hair…
…I held on.
“You scared me, Sarah,” he whispered. “Forget oaths—for a few moments, I.…”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered back. With my ear to his chest, I could feel the heat of his flameheart as much as I could hear its beat. I wondered, again, at the miracle of it: a source of such heat and power inside his heart. It couldn’t be a literal flame.… Could it?
Well, whatever it was…it was perhaps the most wondrous thing I would ever feel or hear.
But…should it be pounding quite so fast?
Abruptly, Ben hooked both his arms under mine to pull me up closer to his level and hold me so tightly for a moment that I couldn’t breathe, and not just from the pressure.
“Don’t do it again,” he said tightly as his face rested on my shoulder, pressed into the curve of my neck.
I was seeing stars, and not just from oxygen deprivation.
“I promised, didn’t I?” I wheezed.
“Oops.” Ben let me down swiftly but gently, face flushing. “Sorry.”
I just wrapped my arms around him again and grinned up at him. “No problem. That felt rather…cathartic. Feel free to give me a bear hug like that anytime.”
“You might regret that offer,” he said, pain in his eyes.
My smile faded. “Ben…what—”
My door opened abruptly, and Kor stuck his head in. If he was surprised at what he saw as Ben and I leaped apart, he hid it with a smirk.
“I can’t tell you how sorry I am to interrupt for the second time today, but seeing as the Moontouched have been waiting a thousand years for this night…let’s not keep them, shall we?”