David, 15 years Old

The door thuds. I can’t hear them talking. They’ve gone. Why did they come? Why both together? I’m glad Hager didn’t come alone. He hates me. I hate him. I hate both of them, but him most of all. I open the bathroom door just a little. If he’s there I’ll shut the door and push it tight. There’s no lock. When I do that he laughs and goes out, but sometimes he shouts and forces the door open. He doesn’t hit me. He isn’t allowed. He shouts horrible things. What he’ll do to me one day. How he’ll kill me. He tells me what he did to Peter, because it makes me cry. Peter is dead. I saw him when I went back to the school. He was on a bed in the sick room. All cold and white.

I look into the room. They’ve gone but there’s someone on my bed. Is it a trap? Will this person spring up and kill me? It’s a woman. She is the first new person I’ve seen for nearly two years. I go closer. She is asleep. She is tall with fair hair. Why is she here? Have they drugged her like they drugged me? I like her face. She reminds me of someone in a painting. It’s in one of the books Tucker gave me. I have an easel, paper, paints, pencils, anything I want. I have newspapers, books, a record player and a tape cassette. I have a colour television. I have nice meals, and lots of tea and coffee, also lemonade, chocolates and sweets. He gives me everything except the one thing I long for. I cannot leave this room. I want to go home. I ask Tucker why he doesn’t let Hager kill me like Peter? He says I am a genius. It would be sacrilege to kill me. He promises one day I will be free again. When all he has to do is over. Hager says he will kill me. But first he will make me hurt. I have been here so long I don’t care anymore. No, that’s a lie. I’m scared of Hager and what he might do.

I go to the bathroom, wet a flannel and wipe her face. I would like to draw her. I will when there is time. If there ever is. Why have they brought her here? Did she come to rescue me? She moans. Her eyelids flutter open. She has blue eyes. She tries to focus on me. She looks shocked. Her mouth opens wide; her eyes stare at me.

‘David?’ she asks.

She knows who I am. ‘Yes, I’m David.’