After a few minor hitches, the home soon settled into a routine, but when Henry said he’d arranged a visit from the trustees, all Daisy’s old feelings of insecurity and inferiority returned, especially when she heard that among them was Agatha’s mother, Lady Phillips, together with a retired Royal Navy commander and some local businessmen.
Daisy’s knees trembled as she and Georgina showed them round but to her relief they seemed impressed. Roger and Sergeant Bill Smythe still kept to their rooms but the other three were in the day room. Mick Collins and Joe Bolton were playing chess and Lieutenant David Rawlins, the only other officer, was reading a magazine.
Lady Phillips stopped to speak to the chess players and Daisy, standing in the doorway, strained to hear what they were saying. She needn’t have worried. When the group withdrew to Daisy’s sitting room for tea, the trustees all declared themselves satisfied that their money had been well invested.
Daisy’s confidence was greatly boosted when the naval commander turned to her and said, ‘You and Mrs Lazenby are doing a grand job, Nurse March.’
Behind his back, Georgina winked and Daisy hid a smile.
After they’d gone, Henry stayed to have tea with Georgina and Jackie in the nursery in the east wing, while Daisy excused herself to deal with some paperwork in her office.
She was adding a column of figures when there was a knock on the door and Millie came in. ‘Excuse me, Matron. There’s a gentleman to see you – Doctor Holloway.’
‘Show him in, Millie,’ Daisy said calmly. She rose from her desk, surprising herself at the flush of pleasure she felt. Although they spoke often on the telephone this was the first time they’d met since leaving Malta. She hardly recognized him. He was thinner and seemed a lot older now.
‘Doctor Holloway, we weren’t expecting you so soon,’ she said, afraid to greet him too warmly in case he misinterpreted her feelings.
‘Peter, please,’ he said with a laugh. ‘I don’t remember us being this formal back in Malta.’ With the laugh, the lines of strain disappeared and he seemed more like the old Peter. Perhaps he too had felt nervous about meeting again after so long.
Within minutes they were chatting as easily as they did on the telephone, but Daisy was aware of the admiration in the doctor’s eyes and, although she was pleased that they’d be working together again, she resolved to keep their relationship formal.
Peter apologized for arriving unannounced. ‘I’m returning to Gosport from visiting my family and as it wasn’t too far out of the way, I thought I’d pop in. I hope it’s not inconvenient but I need to discuss how I can fit your patients in with my other work.’
‘It’s not at all inconvenient,’ Daisy said. ‘I’ve been meaning to get in touch – it’s about time you saw what we’re doing. I’ll show you round.’ They finished their tour outside the dining room where the men were having tea.
‘By the way, we don’t refer to them as patients any more,’ Daisy said quietly, pausing at the door. ‘We like them to think of this as their home so we call them residents. After what they’ve been through we feel the fewer reminders of hospital the better. That’s why my staff, as well as Georgina and I, don’t wear uniforms.’
‘Excellent,’ Peter agreed. ‘The only way they can return to what we call normal is for them to have as ordinary a life as possible, but without the stresses and strains.’
Daisy opened the door and said brightly, ‘I’ve brought my friend Doctor Holloway to visit.’
Roger Thornton looked up and Daisy introduced him. Peter shook hands and started to chat is if this were a purely social occasion. The others seemed oblivious to them. But Peter, appearing not to notice their lack of reaction, went round the room, greeting them with his warm smile and firm handshake.
To Daisy’s surprise he got a response from each of them and she began to feel that maybe there was some hope for even the most traumatized among them. She knew that caring for them wasn’t simply a matter of providing a safe home and she resolved to learn all she could about their treatment. She couldn’t do it alone though, and watching Peter as he spoke to her patients, she felt a surge of gratitude that he was willing to give his time so freely.
Back in the office, the conversation became more personal when Peter enquired if there had been any news of Jack. He’d guessed from Daisy’s distress that Georgina’s brother was the man she loved, although she’d never openly told him so.
‘Did I tell you Georgina named the baby after him? He’s being looked after by my mother at the moment,’ she said.
He nodded. ‘She seems happy now. It must have been a great help to her, having something to fill her time. It seems as if everything’s working out for you both.’
‘We have Henry to thank for all this,’ Daisy said.
‘A good man,’ Peter said. ‘How did you meet him?’
‘I thought you knew. He and Georgina were engaged at one time, but she fell in love with Tom. I think Henry still loves her, and she seems fond of him. But that’s not why he’s done all this. He really believes in it.’
‘It could have been awkward for her – Thornton being so closely involved.’
‘I know, but as it happens they’ve managed to put the past behind them. Now they’re good friends,’ Daisy said with a direct look.
He smiled and reached for her hand. ‘Like you and me?’ he said.
‘And that’s all we can be, Peter. I’m sorry,’ she said, moving away.
‘Daisy …’ Peter stopped abruptly as the door opened and Georgina came in.
‘Still catching up on old times? I thought you were giving Peter the grand tour,’ she said. If she’d noticed the tension in the room, she gave no sign of it.
Daisy laughed, grateful for the interruption. ‘We’ve just finished. I think I can say without conceit that he was favourably impressed.’
Peter agreed and stood up, pausing at the door. ‘You mentioned your brother in your last letter. Is there any more news?’ he asked.
Daisy told him that the hospital superintendent felt Dick was better off in his care. ‘But I can’t bear to think of him there. I’ve heard they’re dreadful places.’
Peter tried to comfort her. ‘They’re not all bad. He may be well cared for. It could be the best thing for him – and you,’ he said.
‘Mum wants him home, but I don’t think she really understands his condition,’ she said, choking back a sob. ‘She’s been through so much lately, I don’t think she’d cope.’
‘She nursed your father, too, didn’t she?’ Peter said.
‘Poor Mum. She’s had such a hard life. I hoped she’d have an easier time now.’ Daisy sighed. ‘Anyway, I won’t know if Dick’s fit to travel until I’ve seen him. And I won’t tell Mum I’m going. She’d want to come too and I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
‘I was planning to go on the train.’
‘Let me take you. It’s too long a journey – you’d have to go up to London first.’
Daisy protested but he insisted. As he ran down the steps and jumped into his car, he called, ‘I’ll let you know when I’m free.’
Although she still said a nightly prayer for Jack, wherever he might be, Daisy had accepted that she would never see him again. Life was good for her now – the home was running smoothly, their staff were hard-working and loyal and the residents were making progress. But being Daisy, she always had someone to worry about and now it was her mother, who insisted on staying in Kingsbourne. She came in each day on the new village bus to look after little Jack, who was now toddling round on sturdy legs and constantly getting into mischief.
She was still convinced that Dick would soon be coming home and, when she wasn’t at the Hall, she spent her free time turning out cupboards and black-leading the kitchen range until it shone like a mirror. Then she whitewashed the outside privy and wash-house.
‘Mum, you shouldn’t wear yourself out like this,’ Daisy protested when she went home on a rare afternoon off.
‘I’ve got to have it nice for when Dick comes home,’ she replied.
Daisy couldn’t think what to say. She’d tried to impress on her mother that Dick would need nursing and that he’d have to stay at the Hall, but she clung to the belief that once back home, a mother’s loving care was all the nursing he’d need.
With a sigh, Daisy managed to hold her tongue. She was concerned that Effie was even thinner than she’d been when they first heard about Dick and she didn’t want to upset her even more. For a while, looking after Jackie had seemed to help, but now she was jumpy and irritable one minute, saying that Dick should have been home by now, then bubbling with excitement at the thought of seeing her boy again.
When Daisy returned to the Hall after making her promise to rest, she confided in Georgina. ‘If only Peter would get in touch. He promised to take me down to Canterbury on his next day off. He’s busy, I know, but if I don’t hear by the end of the week, I’ll go on the train as I originally planned,’ she said.
‘It’s hard for your mother – and you,’ Georgina agreed. ‘She thinks once he’s home, everything will be just as it was before the war.’ She sighed. ‘Silly, really. How can it be the same?’ She’d just put Jackie to bed and she stood looking down at him, her face sombre. Then she turned to Daisy with a smile. ‘At least something good came out of it,’ she said, indicating the sleeping child.
Daisy leaned over the cot, brushing her fingers over the fair curls. Jackie opened his eyes and smiled at her, then closed them again. Once more Daisy wished that she’d had a child – sometimes it was hard not to feel a little envious. But Georgina had suffered too, she reminded herself, not only losing Tom but being left to bring up their son alone.
Their companionable silence was broken by a voice at the foot of the stairs. It was Ruby, one of the nursing assistants. ‘Can you come quickly, Matron? It’s Lieutenant Rawlins. He’s started screaming and carrying on and we can’t get him calmed down.’
Daisy ran downstairs, pausing to reassure the wide-eyed girl. ‘It’s nothing to worry about, Ruby. He has these turns sometimes,’ she said.
‘I’m not bothered. My old gran used to carry on like that sometimes, when she was poorly and couldn’t remember where she was. But Millie’s shut herself in the scullery crying cos she thinks it’s all her fault.’
‘What happened?’
‘She dropped a tray and the noise set him off,’ she explained.
Daisy called out to Georgina, ‘Go and find her – tell her she’s not to blame,’ then opened the door to the drawing room.
David Rawlins was huddled into a corner behind one of the armchairs, his hands over his ears, his mouth open in a silent scream. When Daisy touched his arm, he flinched away in terror.
‘Ruby, clear this up as quickly as you can and bring more coffee,’ she said in a low voice. She turned to the men who stood helplessly, staring. ‘Just go back to what you were doing. I’ll take care of it,’ she told them.
Mick Collins and Joe Bolton sat down at the low table where they’d been playing chess. Roger hadn’t left his chair but he’d started rocking back and forth, a habit Daisy thought he’d abandoned. Bill Smythe, the most withdrawn of them, stood at the window pleating folds of the curtain in his fingers. Daisy glanced at him worriedly, then turned to Rawlins, her chief concern at the moment. She crouched on the floor beside him and began talking in a low voice. Afterwards, she never knew what she said, but the soothing words had their effect. Gradually the trembling ceased, the man’s face muscles relaxed and he slumped back against the wall.
When some of his colour had returned, Daisy took him up to his room where she helped him undress and get into bed. Then she went to the locked cupboard on the landing for a dose of the sedative he’d been prescribed. Within minutes he was asleep.
Downstairs Daisy glanced into the drawing room where Mick and Joe were drinking their after-dinner coffee. Bill Smythe was still standing by the window but his nervous fumblings with the curtain had stopped. Roger still sat in the corner, but she noted with relief that he was now still.
In the kitchen she found Georgina with her arms round a weeping Millie, while Mrs Harris, the housekeeper, looked on impatiently.
‘I couldn’t help it, Matron,’ she sobbed. ‘I know you said to be careful not to make any sudden noises, but I was nervous and that made me clumsy.’
‘Just try to be more careful in future,’ Georgina said and Millie’s sobs started afresh.
‘Perhaps it would be better if she stayed in the kitchen. There’s plenty to do here,’ Mrs Harris suggested. ‘Let Ruby serve the drinks.’
Daisy agreed, wondering if they shouldn’t have opened until they were fully staffed. But with only five patients they should be able to cope. If only Sarah was here as well as Susan, she thought, not for the first time. But Sarah was now married to Chris and expecting her first child. And Susan only worked part-time because of her daughter.
Daisy had hoped to recruit one of the trained nurses from the local hospital but because so many prisoners were still returning and needing hospital care, there were no staff available. For the time being they had to manage with untrained girls, who were little more than housemaids. She counted herself lucky that they had Susan.
When Daisy had finally calmed Mrs Harris and Millie down, she and Georgina went back to the office after first checking that young Jack was still asleep.
‘Poor Rawlins – he was coming along well until this evening,’ Georgina said.
‘He’ll never be able to go home though. His family don’t want anything to do with him. His father practically called him a coward – only visited once at the hospital. He’d have had him committed if the doctor at Netley hadn’t refused to sign the papers.’
‘Just like poor Roger,’ Georgina said.
Rawlins was sleeping soundly when Daisy peeped in a little later and she closed the door softly. Next door Smythe was pacing up and down. The incident in the drawing-room earlier had clearly unsettled him and he’d need a sedative too, she decided.
She couldn’t help thinking about Dick. Was her brother like these men – or worse? She remembered how strong he’d been. It had been his quick thinking that had saved her father from being dragged down with the crippled boat. She had hero-worshipped him, looking up to him as the oldest, admiring the way he’d taken on the responsibility for his family after the accident which had crippled their father.
The residents of Ryfe Hall were getting better, there were minute improvements daily, and she had to believe that her brother’s case would prove the same. If only Peter would telephone. She was becoming increasingly anxious about Dick.
She voiced her concerns to Georgina, who sympathized, but couldn’t help teasing her about wanting to see Peter again. ‘I always said he was keen on you,’ she said.
Daisy was on the point of telling her not to be so silly, but she decided it was best to be frank. ‘He asked me to marry him,’ she said.
Georgina’s face was a study. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘It was after you left Malta.’
‘Did you tell him about Jack?’
‘He guessed. I still thought Jack might be alive then.’
Georgina put out a sympathetic hand. ‘Oh, Daisy. I know how you feel, but you must accept it now. It’s been too long.’
‘I know, but the pain’s still there.’
‘You can’t grieve for ever,’ Georgina said with a sigh and Daisy knew she was thinking of herself as well.
She was silent, wondering what to do about Peter. Friendship was all very well but she dreaded him reading more into it than she was prepared to give.
Georgina echoed her thoughts. ‘You could do worse, you know. He’s a very attractive man.’
‘I know. But I’m not ready yet – if I ever will be.’ She shrugged and gave a little laugh. ‘This won’t do. I’m a working woman and there’s plenty to do, so let’s get on.’
As they started on their evening routine of supper, medicines and settling the men for the night, she reflected sadly that if she’d never met Jack she probably could have loved Peter. He was a kind, compassionate man with a warm sense of humour, who would make any girl a good husband.
But he’s not Jack, she thought. And the pain knifed through her again. The war might be over but life would never be the same again. Daisy knew that the only way she could begin to cope was to throw herself into her work and make sure that at least some of those lives ruined by the events of the past few years were given the chance to mend.