10
It was difficult moving forward, knowing that everyone could hear every word inside my mind. And as Jordan and I approached the Arena, I tried to maintain my focus upon the training ahead. But a growing sense of humiliation, burned its slow way to my cheeks. Lena had heard every word. Every attempt to keep myself moving, my previous fighting mantra. She’d heard it all. And I vowed to never think those words again.
Instead of defeating myself before training had even begun for the day, I attempted to form a new motivational phrase to keep me moving. It was a desperate attempt to distract myself, and all I could come up with was, Strong like Lydia. However, as the words ran through my mind, a flush of embarrassment heated my insides, and I stifled a laugh while I sent the words away, back to whatever absurd recess in my brain they’d come from. I had no idea why I would even consider putting those three words together. There was a time when poetry and prose had filled my life, and the ability to produce mantras, titles and phrases flowed freely through me. But I guessed, my writing skills were getting a little rusty. I still contributed to Grid’s and Hammond’s newspaper, our memorial of Earth, but with our memories stretching thin, Rebecca had taken over, deciding instead to devote several editions to Shakespeare, along with our much-needed thoughts about each poem or play. And her request required neither our consent, nor approval. Our efforts however, had made for some entertaining reading.
The distraction worked, for all too soon, we were inside the dome. And as I stood before Lena, I struggled to maintain that control, needing to keep all wayward thoughts at bay.
“It’s not working,” she said, and grinned at me.
I gave up. She was reading me anyway.
“Your head is too busy.”
“Then stop listening,” I told her, annoyed that she would even mention it.
“Then stop thinking and focus,” she responded, and brought up the simulation for my level.
I tried to do as she asked, and thought only about the movements I needed to make, and the strength I needed to use each time the simulation wrestled me to the ground. And once in the fighting room below the stadium, I tried not to think about each move before I made it. Not that it would have mattered. I had a growing sense that Lena enjoyed any and all afflictions that came her way. She knew what I was going to do before I even moved. And yet she let me use her for practice.
During these sessions though, it wasn’t easy to stay focused on the task at hand. It was a painful experience for us both. For her, because I frustrated and annoyed her to no end, with my inability to learn as quickly as she would like. And for me, because I always managed to cause as much damage or more to myself, in my efforts to appease her with the sound of her own breaking bones.
And each time Lena assisted me to the medic room despite her own impairment, Dax’s growls in my direction, and his groans for the pain Lena had to have been in, never failed to reach me.
On one afternoon, it must have become too much for him, for as we entered the room, I gasped to see Haize correcting Jordan’s body, broken in multiple places. Lena’s grip on me tightened, keeping me in place, and it took all I had not to cry out, but Jordan forced a smile, letting me know he was ok.
At first, I thought Dax had purposely maimed him in so terrible a way, as payback, but as we approached the nearest table, an ulterior motive charged toward me. He first moaned at Lena’s relatively minor condition, and then he rushed at me. His eyes were wild, uncontrolled. It was killing him to see Lena get hurt.
However, there were other warriors also filing into the room, needing attention from wounds they’d received during their own training in the stadium. And as one passed, he quickly assessed the trouble and stretched out an arm, blocking Dax’s way.
Dax however, didn’t see it and his body slammed into the thick warrior flesh. The warrior’s arm didn’t move, not even a fraction. It jutted out from his body like a steel bar, and once Dax was on the ground the warrior retracted his muscled weapon and continued on toward Gaias.
Stroke of luck for me, which never happens. Ever. I didn’t like it. Something equally bad would have to happen to even out my universe. Of that, I was sure. I thanked the warrior though, and kept locked deep inside, my wish that Dax had reached me. Better to see the trouble coming.
As Dax attempted to stand, still dazed from what had just occurred, Jordan leapt toward him. He picked Dax up by the throat and then slammed him down onto the nearest table.
“Try that again outside of training and you will be permanently strapped to this table,” he asserted.
“Jordan…” Lena called.
“Lena, teach him some manners. This is your damn Arena!”
All I could do was stare. Watching Jordan exert his strength sent a thrill through me. I had to convince Lena somehow, to let us loose in the stadium. Their fighting stadium. Where the warriors fought to near death. I needed to see him in action.
“What’d I miss?” came Aleric’s voice from the doorway.
“You’re back!” I began, but the haggard way he held himself stopped any questions I may have had about his disappearance.
At first only the obvious registered, and I gaped at him - his shirt hung off him in pieces. But as I stared, I realized more was wrong. His skin was scorched red and pink, and parts were hanging from him in seared patches. He leaned against the doorway, blood spilling from his mouth and nose as he struggled to gasp back air.
“Aleric!” Haize could barely speak his name. The room however, had silenced itself, and her whispered word could clearly be heard. Her faced paled as she stared at him, absorbing his condition, before running to his side. She then helped him onto the nearest table - almost knocking Dax off it to make way for Aleric - and began her healing process.
Lena gasped, taking two baby steps toward Aleric. Her shocked expression mimicked Haize’s, as she took in his condition. But it didn’t last. The fear that had made an appearance quickly melted into fist-clenching rage.
“I’m too weak to heal myself,” I heard Aleric whisper.
“Where are the others?” Haize asked him.
“They’re fine. With Mason,” he wheezed through the words, barely able to draw breath. And within the moment he was out. But that was for the best.
The sight of Aleric did not stir my stomach; I’d seen much worse on numerous occasions. His exterior wounds were not deep, but from the sound of him, there was more wrong inside than out. I hoped he would be ok.
“Where are they?” Lena demanded.
“You heard him,” Haize responded, without looking up at her.
“Haize, you know what I mean.”
“Lena, let Mason handle it.”
I expected Lena to argue further, but instead she only stared first at Haize and then down at Aleric. Dax began to move toward her, but before he could reach her, she ran from the room without another word. And without looking back at anyone, including him.
“Where is she going?” he asked Haize.
Haize sighed as she tried to heal Aleric.
“Hopefully, to the city. If she tries to leave the environment,” she began, but then stopped, staring down at Aleric and shook her head. “I couldn’t say what will happen. Stop her if you can,” she called, as he raced after Lena.
“What happened to him?” I asked, motioning toward Aleric.
“He needs to rest and heal first,” she said. “Whatever happened can wait.”
Her tone told me the subject was closed, and I didn’t question further. The concern I’d first seen on her face had turned to fear as she stared down at Aleric. And I was sure I could discern a slight tremor in her fingers as they flew across her screens.
Jordan and I left without another word, but the brief exchange between Haize and Lena had me convinced that more was going on than what was being said. Part of me hoped that Jordan was as much in the dark about it as I was.
“What is the environment that Haize referred to?” I asked him, as we made our slow way along the corridor, toward the underground cubicles.
“I couldn’t tell you. I’d heard Haize mention it only once before, a long time ago, before you came here,” he said. “But before you… I questioned nothing. I just accepted their words as meaning something to someone, but I didn’t really care to know what that meaning was, nor even who they were for that matter,” he said, while waving his hand back toward the stadium. “I always assumed they were from Threa, and Mason never said otherwise.”
“Did you see the fear on Haize’s face?” I asked him.
“I did,” he said, and stopped walking. “I don’t know what is going on, or why Lena reacted the way she did.” But he stopped speaking and turned me toward him.
I expected to feel him reach out to me with one of his soul-hugs, but it didn’t come. Instead, he pulled me close, and stared down into my face.
“Between Aleric’s condition, Lena’s anger and Haize’s reaction to them both,” he began, while raising one hand to my face. “And…”
I angled my head slightly, to rest my cheek in his palm. And then closed my eyes, relishing his touch, and almost forgot the conversation we were having. But when I no longer heard his voice, I looked back up at him to question.
“And?” I asked.
He shook his head with a sigh, and then whispered, “I can’t really say, but… I’ve a feeling Mason knows more than he’s let on.” And he looked at me as though he wanted to wrap me in cotton wool and hide me away. It was then that I felt his warmth surround me, and I felt only safe.
However, whatever was happening, or was going to happen, I didn’t fear it. Perhaps I should have. But apart from the ward, the only fear I had was of losing him. And I decided I was not going to speculate on either point.
“Let’s go home,” I whispered back to him. And we made our swift way through the town, and up toward our garden. But with each step came the recollection of recent occurrences in the Arena.
“What are you thinking?” Jordan asked me, as we approached our garden path.
I glanced across at him, only to find him peering back at me. Curiosity had replaced the fear in his eyes.
I hadn’t said a word since we’d left the dome. At first, my every thought was for Aleric, hoping he would heal fast. I had no idea where he’d been, and trying to get information out of Haize was pointless once her tone turned resolute.
However, for most of the walk back, what had overtaken every other thought, was Jordan - the memory of his strength and the force he’d exerted. And when I faced him, he smiled at my ill-concealed reverence of him. No doubt he also felt it in the warmth of my soul as I gingerly shared it with his.
“What you did to Dax. That was incredible. You were… amazing. You picked him up with one hand. He’s a big guy. And you slammed him down on that table. You had complete control over your strength and what you were doing,” I could hear myself rambling, but I didn’t care.
Though, he no doubt did.
He turned me toward him and captured my mouth with his before I could get another word out.
My hands slid upward, over his chest, and clutched his shoulders. I then maneuvered my ankles around his calves, and using the tops of my feet as leverage, I pulled myself up. He lifted me the rest of the way, and held me to him.
As we made our slow way along our garden path his mouth never left mine. But once inside, he pulled his face away to stare across the room.
“I’m sorry,” Mason stammered. “Didn’t mean to… just… intrude like this.”
I released my legs from around Jordan’s waist, and slipped down to stand beside him. I then turned toward Mason, ready to demand of him, a damn good reason why he was interrupting my feelings of awe. But he was leaning over our dining table, with both hands planted, while tapping one finger relentlessly against the surface.
I couldn’t tell if he was excited or scared.
“It’s the Guardian,” he quickly explained, straightening up.
“It’s not back,” Jordan demanded. Not a question.
“No! I’ve only been analyzing it, trying to see where it went wrong.”
“And,” I asked.
“It didn’t go wrong. It was doing exactly as it had been programmed to do.”
“What are you talking about?” Jordan’s disbelief mirrored mine. “You programmed it.”
“Yes, and its design was to protect the Central Unit, protect the city, protect the planet. And that’s all it was doing.”
“By ripping people from their worlds? Bringing them here against their will? Killing them, controlling them?” I protested.
“Essentially, yes.”
Neither of us said another word. We both knew Mason would not have programmed the Guardian to do what it did. There had to be a reason why he would make such a claim.
I racked my brain for any possible excuse, for the Guardian to justify itself in doing what it did, and I remembered my outburst in the Colony, months earlier. My words, then, had given Grid reason enough slap his hand over my mouth, silencing my revelation.
“It was building an army.”
“Yes,” he answered.
“What exactly, were they going to be fighting?” Jordan asked, but I could sense from his tone that he already knew. He was the one who had told me about the protection around the planet. And only then did I realize that this was the memory that I’d struggled with for the past few months. The one that always evaded me. It was the one thing that my subconscious had tried again and again to remind me of - that the fight was not over.
“The Guardian had predicted that they would come back. We all knew they would,” Mason said, as though reading Jordan’s thoughts. “Whatever it had detected in the Central Unit’s memories, whatever it had picked up from the other colonies, it has been preparing for them.”
“But the Central Unit has the planet protected,” I complained. “Why the need for the Guardian?”
“The Central Unit’s protection is stronger with the Guardian. It’s like having a general of war in charge. Its sole purpose was to protect and defend, and that is exactly what it has been doing.”
Neither Jordan nor Mason said anything for several minutes. They only stared at one another. And I wished in that moment, to have heard Jordan’s thoughts.
“Can you alter its programming? Change what it does so it doesn’t keep attacking us and others? Recognize us as not the enemy?” Jordan asked.
“I don’t know. But I’m sure I can add an override, now that I know one is necessary, and I should be able to alter its purpose.”
“You’re sure? You should…?” I questioned. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. They were talking of bringing the thing back. Images and feelings ran through my mind, all of which involved the one person I needed to remain locked up.
“What if your fail-safes don’t work? What if it brings back the wards, takes back control? Neither I, nor anyone else will be able to do what I did before, it would have us figured out. And what if it brings back…” but I couldn’t finish. I couldn’t say it. It had been months since he’d attacked me. And it had only been moments since the warrior assisted me in the medic room, and again I wished he hadn’t. I could already feel my luck changing.
“You can’t bring it back,” I urged them. “Mason, you can’t.”
Lena! I called out in my mind to her. I had no idea if she could hear me, or if she was listening, or if it would even work, but I needed her here for this.
Mason groaned, I hoped from my inner volume.
“She can’t hear you. While inside your house, no one outside can. There is a shield around your house specifically programmed for that purpose,” he said, and despite my current dilemma I could clearly see his barely concealed grin. “And she’s already on her way,” he added.
Jordan pulled me toward the couch and sat beside me. With one arm around my waist, he tried to reassure me that we would be ok.
“Lydia,” Mason pleaded. “The ward cannot get out. The power to that room is isolated. He is limited to that tube only. I haven’t reinstalled the Guardian and I won’t unless I know it’s safe. And only when it’s necessary.”
At that point Lena entered the room, and strode straight toward us, eyes aimed at Mason, as though ready to attack him. But she stopped herself before she made contact.
“Where are they?” she demanded of him.
“When not in this house, you’ll calm your thoughts,” Mason said in a hushed voice, and I could barely make out his next words, but I was sure he’d said, “They may be listening.”
Did he mean us? Those of us in the room? Or someone else entirely. I began to get up off the couch to question, but Dax arrived, and stepped to Lena’s side.
Jordan rose from the couch to stand in front of me, and glared at Dax. Lena placed a hand on Jordan’s chest to stop any forward movement, but Dax didn’t make a move toward either of us.
After several moments of what I knew was silent communication, Mason returned to the table, and was followed by Jordan and then Lena. Dax took Jordan’s place beside me on the couch.
I eyed him suspiciously, but he only picked up my hand.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed, and then continued in his normal deep, commanding voice. “I don’t know why I charged at you. It’s hard to separate the emotions, you know?”
I nodded, trying to smile at him.
“It won’t happen again. Something I haven’t quite mastered yet… control,” he chuckled, and glanced at Lena. “But I will. Boss’s orders.”
“It’s ok,” I responded with a smirk. “You know Jordan will shred you if you fail in your new task.”
He nodded, and mashed his lips together, as though he was holding back a smirk, or perhaps it was laughter trying to make its way out. A strange way to react, since Jordan was well above his level of training.
“What’s going on?” he asked me before I could comment.
“You mean you can’t read minds?”
But at that, he did laugh. “Not yet, but I aspire to master that as well.”
I sighed, looking across at the trio now standing around the table.
“Come on,” I insisted, moving off the couch. “Mason figured out the Guardian’s problem.”
“And?” he looked over at Lena, worry replacing his smile.
“There was no problem.”