13
We watched the sunset from the front room, sitting as we hadn’t for a very long time. Quietly, peacefully, enjoying the afternoon and each other.
I ran my hands along his new markings, tracing the dark patterns as they blended with the contours of his arms. Each line and swirl formed around and along a muscle, accentuating its size and shape.
“I hope you like it because it doesn’t come off,” he said with a grimace. “I think they chiseled it in.”
“Actually,” I said, smiling. “It does come off. You’re forgetting what your Central Unit can do.”
He smiled back, and seemed to consider me for a moment before responding. “Do you want me to remove it?”
I traced one dark line over his shoulder and up to his neck. It didn’t really matter, even if he did remove it, the Central Unit could just as easily bring it back. But I thought about it for only a moment. He’d gone through a lot for this, and it suited him. But more importantly, he seemed to enjoy it, as though he was proud of it.
“Keep it,” I whispered.
∞
It was several days before we made an appearance in Tira-Mi. I didn’t want to return. When the ward had attacked me through Grid, Lena was there with Haize to talk me through calming my nerves, and their serum’s of course, had not only soothed my mind, but had also healed my body. Lena knew the emotional terror I’d gone through. She should have known better than to willingly terrorize me in my bed at night.
And when we entered the dome, I tried to conceal my thoughts, I tried to focus only upon training. However, when I looked up I saw her striding toward me. Her upper lip was curled in anger, and she spoke before I could muster the courage to say anything at all.
“How many times a day do you wish you were strong like me, fearless. I hear it constantly. I’ve been hearing it almost since you came here. Well, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Making you strong. So, get over it already!”
She walked away without another word, without even waiting for a response. And I was glad she did. I stood there staring at her back, all kinds of words ready to spring forth. Instead, I kept it all inside. She really thought she was doing me a favor by forcing me to endure terrible things. I didn’t know what to make of it, and my mind reeled back through each and every experience, beginning of course, with the most recent, and then stumbling back to the moment I’d come to Threa. And then back even further, to my life on Earth.
And I saw it, the pattern of me, of who I’d become, from childhood to adult on Earth. And from the moment I’d arrived on Threa until now.
On Earth, all I’d endured had weakened me almost to the point of non-existence. But here on Threa, every moment since arriving, after all I’d suffered at the hands of the ward and the Guardian, my experiences here only made me want to fight harder.
Maybe she was right.
And really, I was fine; no dents, no scratches, except perhaps my ego, and I couldn’t help but wonder what exactly I’d been mad about - What she’d put me through? Or the fact that they continually reminded me that I was not strong enough to be one of them. That I was weak, that perhaps they saw me the same way that they, and I, saw Rebecca. And perhaps I was. Maybe I only thought I was stronger than what I really was.
I didn’t expect this last thought to stay with me. Normally, my self-berating thoughts came and went. But this one lingered. It pulled me down to that dark place where truth and despair intertwine, becoming that realization that we are not who we think we are, and reality is held up to our eyes, forcing us to face our shortcomings.
What pulled me out of sinking further into that darkness was Jordan all around me; his arms, his soul, his breath, his voice, all pulling me back to him.
“Don’t let her do that to you,” he whispered. “You are stronger than you think.”
But even if I wasn’t, I had to stop being afraid. I needed to learn to react instinctively, methodically. It was what they did. It was how they’d survived.
“Come on,” he said, and pulled me along through the dome.
∞
By the end of training I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, from holding in all I felt.
“Take me home,” I whispered.
He picked me up and carried me all the way. And I didn’t care about looking weak to anyone who saw. I just wanted to be as close to him as I could possibly get.
However, once we’d made it back to our cottage, Mason was waiting for us, yet again.
Do you have some kind of sixth sense about when we need to be alone? I thought, knowing he could hear me.
“The others are on their way,” was all he said, as he left our dining table to greet us.
“Others?” I asked.
“Who?” Jordan added. “And why?”
“Lena, Dax and most of the Council. Your house has been shielded stronger than any other structure here. No thoughts or sounds will either penetrate or escape these rooms,” he said. “Only you and Jordan can connect through the shield, for safety reasons.”
I remembered he’d mentioned that once before, but since then, I hadn’t thought much of it. “Why aren’t other buildings shielded like ours?”
“Hammond’s and Rebecca’s house is, but the rest…” he sighed. “It hasn’t been necessary.”
I couldn’t help but wonder though, if his words meant that it was necessary now.
“And… I wanted to speak with you both first,” he finished.
“What’s going on?” Jordan asked.
Frustration pushed its way out of Mason in a throaty groan, and he stepped back to the table, indicating for us to follow.
Once we were seated, I glanced between them both. Whatever it was that Mason was going to say, was going to be bad in a number of ways. I knew this by the way he was staring at Jordan - with hope.
“How much do you remember of that last attack?” Mason asked him, and then added. “The attack upon the city, before we installed the Guardian.”
“I… really don’t…” Jordan began.
Mason lowered his head. His eyes darted across the table until they came to rest upon his hands, splayed before him.
“I’ve been remembering things though, since that day in your workroom. The images on the memory table were familiar, somehow. But I can’t make sense of what it is I’m remembering,” Jordan quietly explained. “It’s just pieces, images. Things that just… can’t be right.”
“Come to the Spire,” Mason told him, but a worried look passed across his face. “I can help you make sense of it.”
Jordan nodded an agreement, and a weight seemed to lift from him.
“Tell me,” I quietly asked Mason. “About the attack.”
“We knew they were coming, but we weren’t strong enough to stop them. Almost every person within the city was scanned. All memories, all imprints of who they were, stored, in case the worst should happen.”
“I don’t remember any of that,” Jordan said, his eyebrows coming together as he attempted to focus.
“It was a very long time ago,” Mason told him. “You remember something though, don’t you?”
Jordan shook his head as though trying to clear a fog. “Why don’t I remember it?” His words came out as more of a thought, spoken aloud, meant only for himself, and I sensed his confusion turning to concern.
“When they came,” Mason resumed, speaking slowly, clearly, while staring once more at Jordan, watching his reactions. “They devastated this planet. Destroyed everything, every spec of life.” He stopped, and held his breath for several moments before resuming through an exhale. “We are the last city of Threa.”
The last city. I wasn’t sure if I’d heard that right, or if he even meant what I thought he meant. Threa couldn’t be the last city… on the whole planet. That kind of destruction couldn’t possibly happen, at anyone’s hands.
Even as I thought this, I felt the tension in Jordan intensify, as it swirled toward anger, but his face remained a mask.
“Why don’t I remember it?” he asked again.
“The Central Unit decided it was for the best. It blocked out the event, and altered the memories of almost everyone who’d… survived. It knew we were this planet’s only hope, and it did all it could to help us rebuild, somewhat in peace. It was necessary.”
“But there is almost nothing left of that in my mind. Just… glimpses, shadows. All I have is of here, the city as it is now.”
“It’ll come back to you,” Mason promised. Then almost pleading, he added, “I can help you.”
“You wiped his memories?” I asked, as his words sank in. I was still trying digest the planet-wide devastation. I needed to be sure I’d heard him right, and I needed to keep up with the conversation.
“The Central Unit did,” Mason corrected.
“Along with the memories of everyone in the city,” I finished. The disbelief that he would let the Central Unit do such a thing was too much. The picture that Mason was drawing, of the destruction both inside and outside of the city, was becoming a worst-case-scenario nightmare, something that I doubted, even I could dream up.
“Lydia, if you woke up one morning and found everything outside of your town was gone, totally and completely gone, nothing left but ash,” Mason began, most likely figuring it would be easier to deal with my simple questions first, before moving to all that Jordan was going through. “What do you think would happen? There would be an uncontrollable city-wide panic. And it would only make things worse. More people would have been lost.”
The emotions emanating from Jordan shifted my focus to him. I knew what Mason was saying and why, but his words, along with the chaos churning inside Jordan, was too much to take in, all at the same time.
“The whole planet?” Jordan barely moaned.
“Yes,” Mason responded.
“Everything outside of the city? Animals? Plants? The people?” he asked.
“Every living cell.”
“My parents…” His eyes darted about the table, and I could feel him forcing something to the surface.
“I’m sorry,” Mason barely managed.
“I had a brother… and a sister.”
At this, Mason didn’t respond. Instead, he lowered his gaze back down to his hands, biting his lower lip as he did. I couldn’t help but feel that there was a whole lot more that Mason wasn’t telling Jordan. However, after all he’d just revealed, it was probably for the best. Bad news should not always come in bulk.
I rose from my chair and placed my arms around Jordan, wrapping him in my warmth. He’d never before mentioned his family, and I’d never asked. I figured he would bring them up when he was ready, along with the rest of the life he’d lived. But if Mason hadn’t jogged his memories, he may never have remembered them.
Jordan’s hands encircled my arms, holding onto me. “No wonder there were very few images from your planet,” he said to me. “The Central Unit didn’t want us to see, to make that connection, to remember what may have happened to us.”
“You have me,” I whispered to him, and I felt his response as his soul gingerly touched mine.
“Why do you remember?” The accusation in Jordan’s tone while coming from a place of pain, was clear.
“There were only a few of us in the Spire building when it happened. We needed to stay as we were, to ensure that those who had lived, survived.”
“Why are you telling us all of this now?” I asked.
“When the Central Unit all but shut down several months ago,” he said, while looking at me. “The blanket protection around the planet was also removed. It was only down for… seconds. But that’s all that was needed.”
At that moment, I slipped back into my seat. Not wanting to stand to hear the rest. Whatever was coming, was my doing.
Jordan clasped my hand tight as we both stared back at Mason, waiting for him to finish.
“They’re back.”