Aside from the Grays’ Sunday dinners, Elizabeth had not socialized since Thomas’s death and she was very touched by the quiet expressions of sympathy and welcome that she received upon her arrival. For the first hour, she helped serve the punch, smiled at the compliments on her shortbread, and watched the others dance.
When Colonel Gray approached her and asked her to be his partner in the reel, she felt it would be ungrateful to refuse, after all his kindness, even though she had not intended to dance. She kept her reluctance to herself and, taking his hand, stepped out onto the dance floor. This would be her only dance, she told herself.
But then Captain Taggert came up, and not wishing to offend, she accepted his offer. By her third dance, with Master Sergeant Brimmer, she gave up worrying what people would think and began to enjoy herself for the first time in months.
“I am happy to see you dancing, Mrs. Woolcott,” said Lieutenant Cooper, approaching her with two glasses of punch. “I hope I may have the next dance?”
Elizabeth could hardly refuse him, and after sipping their punch and chatting for a few minutes, they moved out onto the floor.
Of course, it would be a waltz, she thought as the lieutenant put his arm around her waist. He was a good dancer, she had to admit, expertly guiding her with just the slightest pressure of his hand on her back. And just as expertly pulling her just a little closer than she was comfortable with. His hand felt hot and she was sure it wasn’t only from the heat of the room. But his desire did nothing for her except make her wish the dance was over. When the last strains of the music faded, he led her off the dance floor and into one of the darker corners, where a few chairs had been placed.
“Here, Mrs. Woolcott, rest yourself for a moment,” he said as he pulled a chair close to hers and sat down.
She felt trapped by his closeness. The combination of his cologne, hair oil, and male scent was suffocating, and she hoped she wasn’t visibly shrinking back from him.
Cooper cleared his throat nervously several times and then reached out and, taking her hand in his, placed it on his knee. It was the first time he had made any physical contact with her and she was mortified. Had she given him any encouragement? She didn’t think so. He started stroking her hand and she had to exert every bit of self-control not to jerk her hand away. Yet she couldn’t let it stay or he would definitely be getting the wrong idea. She very slowly raised her other hand to the back of her head and loosened a hairpin.
“Oh dear, all this dancing has played havoc with my hair,” she exclaimed and, with a little laugh, gently disengaged her hand and fiddled with her hair. The musicians were striking up another waltz. Oh dear, thought Elizabeth, didn’t anyone else wish to dance with her!
* * * *
Michael had danced with the wives and daughters of the noncommissioned officers and then claimed a dance with Mrs. Gray, who smiled and told him that she had planned the dance just for the pleasure of being his partner.
“Sure and ye’re as full of blarney as any Irishman,” he teased with his most exaggerated brogue.
He had been very aware of Elizabeth the whole evening, watching her smile and serve punch, watching the color come back into her cheeks and the life in her step after the first few dances. He wanted to dance with her, of course, but was almost afraid to. His first dance with her had been when he hardly knew her and he could still remember the feel of her in his arms. Now that they knew one another as friends and now that he was even more aware of his physical response to her, perhaps it would be better to stay away. She was a widow now, to be sure, but an officer’s widow and a recent one to boot.
Then he saw Cooper lead her off the floor and over to the corner. Surely she wouldn’t go with him if they didn’t have some sort of understanding? And why wouldn’t they have by now after three months of the man having Sunday dinners with her! When he saw Cooper place her hand on his knee, he thought, There it is, boyo. And why should it be bothering you, after all? She’s one of the prettiest women you know, ‘tis true, and ye like her, but that’s all. If she ends up marrying Cooper, it solves all her problems. She’ll have rank and a home again and stay with the army.
He didn’t know why he kept watching. Maybe to punish himself or convince himself he had no chance. Not that he really wanted one, mind you…. And then he saw her slip her hand out of Cooper’s and start fooling with her hair. At the same time the band struck up another waltz.
He was in front of her before he knew what he was doing. He bowed very stiffly and formally and begged for the honor of the dance. She looked up at him with such a look of relief in her eyes and Cooper looked at him with such fury that he almost laughed out loud.
“I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything between you and Mr. Cooper,” he said after a few times around the floor. “But I haven’t seen you for a while, Mrs. Woolcott, and I didn’t want to let the music go to waste.”
Of course, he had interrupted something, and she had been so relieved to see someone and happy that the someone was Michael Burke, but for him to mention it annoyed her.
“There was nothing to interrupt, Sergeant Burke,” she said very coolly. “And if you haven’t seen me, surely that was a matter of your choice.” She didn’t know where it had come from, this sudden anger. She should be angry at Lieutenant Cooper. She was angry at Lieutenant Cooper.
Bat what business was it of Michael Burke’s what she did or didn’t do with the lieutenant. Especially since he had been remarkably absent from her life and after she had thought they were friends!
“There is a greater demand for wood in winter, as ye know, Mrs. Woolcott. Our detail has been out early and back late,” Michael answered just as coolly, stung by her response. He had thought they had reached a level of friendly intimacy, but perhaps that had only been due to her grief over her husband’s death. And a noncommissioned officer could hardly come calling at the colonel’s quarters, which she should know very well!
Elizabeth was immediately ashamed of herself. She was furious at Cooper and afraid to tell him, so here she was, taking it out on Sergeant Burke. She relaxed a little in his arms and, looking up at him, said, “I am sorry, Sergeant Burke. There was no need to take my bad mood out on you.”
“I should not have pried into what is not my business,” he apologized. “And I thought you had already called me Michael, Mrs. Woolcott,” he added.
“I will continue if you call me Elizabeth.”
“ ‘Tis lovely to see you dancing again, Elizabeth.” He wanted to say, ‘tis lovely to be dancing with you, for it was. She smelled of rosewater and French soap and she moved so sweetly under the soft pressure of his hand. Under that Boston stiffness, she was a soft woman, Elizabeth Woolcott. And a desirable one.
“I was not going to come,” Elizabeth admitted. “I thought it would not be respectful to Thomas’s memory.”
“I am sure the lieutenant would have wanted you to be enjoying life again.”
“I am sure he would,” she agreed, ducking her head so that he could not see the tears that had sprung to her eyes. But would he have wanted her to be enjoying this waltz so much, Elizabeth wondered. The pressure of Mr. Cooper’s hand had only made her feel hot and sticky. The warmth emanating from Michael’s hand felt different, felt as though she were being held with some tenderness, not just the hard wanting she had always sensed in Cooper.
The icy cold of winter was gone. The veil of non-feeling seemed to have lifted. She was very much awake again and aware of how good it felt to be held in Michael Burke’s arms.
When the music ended, they stepped back from one another quickly and Michael stammered out a thank you.
“It was good to see you again, Michael,” Elizabeth said shyly.
“I’ll be keepin’ my eye out for you and the mighty Orion now that it is good weather,” he said with a smile, and leading her over to the Grays, he left her without a backward glance.
What had she expected? That he would ask to call on her? Did she want anyone to come calling? Not as a lover. She wasn’t ready to love again. She was beginning to wonder if she had ever been ready to love a man as completely as a woman loves. But he would have been very welcome as a friend.
* * * *
Michael had tried very hard the week after the dance to keep his mind on his duties and off Mrs. Elizabeth Woolcott. He had visited Mary Ann in the hope that a night in her arms would help distract him. But in the end, he had left early, feeling guilty both for being there and causing the disappointed look in Mary Ann’s eyes.
When he was out with his men, he found it easier to keep his mind from wandering back to his waltz with Elizabeth and how lovely it had been to have her in his arms.
* * * *
The peace was holding, but the renegade attack on the supply train had made everyone more vigilant. A few days after the dance, while out on duty, he noticed the small band of Navajo approaching at the same time as his men.
“Spratt, you be sure to keep yer hand off yer revolver this time,” he said calmly as they all watched the approaching riders.
“Yes, sir.”
Michael breathed a sigh of relief when he recognized Antonio’s bay, and kicking up Lightning Jack, rode out to meet him.
“It is good to see you, my friend,” he said as he pulled the mule to a halt. “What brings you this close to the fort?”
“My wife has sent me on an errand. Her niece will be celebrating her kinaalda in two days’ time and my wife promised to invite Mrs. Woolcott. I’ve had my men watch for you so that I could deliver the message.”
Michael hesitated. “You heard of the attack on the supply train a few months ago?”
Antonio frowned. “One of those fools tried to take refuge with my uncle and we drove him away. We don’t need any ladrones around us now.”
“There was an officer killed, you know.” Antonio nodded. “It was Lieutenant Woolcott, Elizabeth’s husband.”
“I am sorry to hear that.”
“So, while I am sure she will be honored by the invitation,” he continued respectfully, “she may not feel up to attending.”
“My wife would be disappointed but would also understand. We are lucky to have Colonel Gray in charge,” he added after a short pause.
“And Manuelito,” said Michael. “They have both worked hard not to respond to isolated acts of foolishness.”
“The ceremony is four days long,” said Antonio, “and the family has agreed to a guest on the last day. If Mrs. Woolcott wishes to come, she can meet me at the mouth of the canyon five days from now. I will wait until noon.”
“The colonel will never allow her to go without an escort, you know.”
Antonio frowned. “It was hard to get some people to agree to having a bilagaana present at all. We can’t have a troop of soldiers come riding in!”
“She can’t come alone.”
“I know that, bilagaana. You must escort her.”
“That may work. If I got permission from the colonel and was released from wood detail.”
“It is a good half day’s ride from the canyon. You will have to stay overnight.”
“All right. I’ll talk to Mrs. Woolcott and if she wishes to go, I’ll ask the colonel.”
“What is the news from the south,” asked Antonio.
“You know the Mescaleros have been subdued?”
“Yes, we heard that our cousins had given in.”
“I have heard nothing official, you understand,” Michael continued, “but the rumor is that Carleton has Bosque Redondo in mind for more than the Apache.”
“My uncle is afraid of that too. We will never go there, bilagaana. Tell the colonel that.”
“I think he already knows,” said Michael with an ironic smile.
They sat quietly facing one another for a moment and then Michael turned his mule. “If ye don’t see us by noon five days from now, then ye’ll know we won’t be coming,” he said and waved as he rode off.
* * * *
That evening the colonel was drinking his after-dinner glass of port and Elizabeth and Mrs. Gray were sipping coffee when a knock sounded on their door.
They could hear voices and then their striker came into the parlor.
“Begging your pardon, sir. Master Sergeant Burke is at the door, asking to see the colonel.”
Colonel Gray looked over at his wife and raised his eyebrows.
“Please send the sergeant in, Corporal,” said Mrs. Gray.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Michael turned his hat in his hand nervously as he stood in the entrance to the parlor. He felt very much out of place as he took in the cozy scene.
“I am very sorry to have disturbed you at home, sir,” he said. “But it is a matter concerning Mrs. Woolcott.”
“Come in, Sergeant, come in.” The colonel motioned Michael over to an armchair and Michael sat down on the edge.
“Would you like a sip of port, Sergeant Burke?”
“No, sir. Thank you, sir.”
“You may relax, Burke,” said the colonel with a smile. “Now what is this business that concerns Mrs. Woolcott?”
Michael looked over at Elizabeth. “Em, I met Antonio today a few miles from the fort. He wanted me to deliver an invitation to you, Mrs. Woolcott.”
“An invitation?” said Mrs. Gray.
“It seems his wife had invited Mrs. Woolcott to a family celebration, ma’am. He didn’t know about the lieutenant’s death. After I told him, he said his wife would understand if Mrs. Woolcott didn’t come.”
“What kind of celebration is this, Elizabeth?” asked Mrs. Gray with great curiosity.
“It is to celebrate a young girl’s coming of age. I am very touched that Serena remembered.” She hesitated.
“It is quite an honor to be invited, Elizabeth. Would you wish to go?” asked the colonel.
“I had completely forgotten it in all that has happened. But I did very much want to, weeks ago.”
The colonel took another sip of his port. “You would need an escort, of course,” he said thoughtfully, “should you accept.”
Michael cleared his throat nervously. “Antonio said it would be impossible for her to attend with a troop of soldiers, sir. He suggested that I would be an acceptable escort. To the Navajo, at least. It would be for the last day of the ceremony and we would have to stay overnight, Mrs. Woolcott,” he added, looking over at her.
“What do you think, Janet?” the colonel asked his wife.
“It does seem a little risky, Charles. Although Antonio and his wife are utterly trustworthy, of course, who knows who else is out there. On the other hand, it would be a demonstration of trust on your part and could help strengthen the peace.” She turned to Elizabeth. “What do you think, my dear? Do you still wish to go?”
Elizabeth hesitated. “So much has changed,” she murmured. “But Thomas had thought it a good thing….” She lifted her eyes to Michael’s face. “I agree with Antonio: I can’t bring a troop with me. I trust that Sergeant Burke can keep me safe.”
“I wouldn’t even be suggesting it if I didn’t think it was safe,” Michael assured them.
The colonel nodded. “Then it is settled,” he said. “I’ll ask Lieutenant Cooper to release you from duty for a few days.”
“Thank you, sir.” Michael stood up and bowed to the ladies.
“Good night, Sergeant Burke,” said Mrs. Gray.
“Good night, ma’am. Sorry to be disturbing yer evening.”
“Not at all, man, not at all,” said the colonel. “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“You are sure of her safety, then, Burke?” he asked as soon as they were out of earshot.
“Absolutely, sir. And I think it important that we learn a little of each other’s ways. I’ve noticed we do a lot of teaching of ours and very little learning of theirs,” he added with a wry smile.
“You’re a good man, Burke. I only wish more men thought like you.” Colonel Gray watched Michael walk down the line and added to himself, “Especially our fine governor.”